Arreis Of Avalon
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Honestly, so far this isn't even dark. This is late afternoon, early evening at best. That said, I'll wait and see what happens.
Eh, I'll follow for now. Seems that the chapter is a bit rushed, but oh well.
Okay, you set the scene rather nicely. I can't wait to see how it progresses.
Don't go in Fluttershy's shed. o_o
Foolishness aside, I'll just stick this in "read later" for now. (Haven't touched it yet. Comments were interesting though, and you had a decent description. Warning made me laugh.)
If the body is Rainbow then I definitely approve.
On a more serious note, that was really rushed. It also wasn't that dark. If you want it to be darker, describe how to body looked in greater detail. Say something like this:
On the ground lay the carnage that was barely recognizable as a pony. The sloppy red insides still seeped out blood and you could see torn muscles falling out still, bones sticking out at odd angles. The parts of the body that were still barely intact were covered in bite marks that had completely ripped off the fur, leaving fleshy pink skin and still bleeding wounds. One of the wings was tattered and disconnected from the body, feathers ruffled and broken. The other was held on to the body by a single patch of skin. Most of the feathers were stained red with blood, the others were grimy and faded so that you could barely make out the color. The only part of the demolished body still completely normal were the magenta eyes. The light had faded from the eyes, but they still carried a strange look of absolute despair and anguish. They seemed to pierce into Lyra's soul, as if it were calling for help.
4261355 I started it rather simpler, so as not to just throw the audience straight into it. That being said, I wrote this AGES ago, before I really got started writing for reals, so I'm doing MASSIVE editing. It went far faster than this before, and by now, you would be hitting the gross parts.
4261878 Sadly, not cupcakes (Although I do love Cupcakes). I realized that, while people in the fanon have 'Sweet Apple Massacre', 'Cheerlie's Garden' (Only one I felt queasy at), 'Cupcakes', 'Rocket to Insanity', all of those...
Don't judge a book by it's cover
I've never seen a Fluttershy one. .-.
So, decided to make a Fluttershy one. ^^
4261736 Tad rushed, I agree. I never had chapters set up for this one, so this 'chapter' was originally around 730 words long? ^^; I beefed up what I had as much as I could.
4261982 <3 Hope you read it and enjoy it when you do. Glad the warning made you laugh. I've always hated that dumb warning on Cupcakes, so decided to reference it here. And, hey, it gets the point across that there's excessive gore.
4262011 You're quite the writer~
Now, that being said, I realize - That chapter went HORRIBLY fast. This was another 'found a. in a recycling bin or b. under all of my other fan fics, long forgotten.
This chapter used to be around 730 words, and I only beefed it up. I didn't re-write it.
Also, about the darkness: <3 LOVE WHAT YOU WROTE
But, I chose to leave that scene less gorey for a number of reasons:
- Build up: Not giving you my best gore in a single chapter. Leaves nothing else later.
- Cops were on scene: They would have warded off everypony from a clear view, fearing trama to them all.
- Lyra's got a seeeecret - Shhh. She couldn't focus too much on it without possibly showing off a small secret~
- Finally, human (or, in this case, pony) factors: If you heard that someone jumped off a building, would you run out and stare intently at the mangled body? Ew. No. You'd feel sick. Lyra didn't really want to feel too sick as she looked at it - So ignored more details. ^^
4262383
Pattycakes. Just.... Pattycakes. That's a Fluttershy one. Not murder-rific like Cupcakes and such, but to be perfectly honest, it is far and away LEAGUES more disturbing than any of them.
4262501 I've never heard of this!~ Why, I'm curious now~
4262501 :\ Just read it. It was... weird? I don't know why those fan fics keep popping up. It went very fast though, faster than mine even. Also, it wasn't so much scary or terrifying, but more... just weird. It wasn't even creepy to me, just... outlandish.
That story just didn't do that.
Personally, I want to see more insanity. I want more inner fears than inner desires. I want something that can make you be afraid of the dark, afraid of poor, gentle, sweet ponies.
4262396 All right! That's some legitimate reasons. But it better get gorey!
4263187 Promise~
4263483 ?! TOO many?! Where are they, and HOW CAN I FIND THEM?!
4263697 I get the feeling you'd like one of my favorite fics: Forensics is Magic. Tells how Pinkie was unable to have committed Cupcakes alone, and who all was really behind it.
4263720 http://www.bunnyrock.com/MyLittlePonyForensicsIsMagic1.pdf
Please continue. I'm excited to see the rest! :D
5112689 Thank you! *sees I have a chapter I've not yet posted* Hmm...
That's it! I'm now I'm love with this fic~ I always wanted to see dark Fluttershy and you have done it wonderfully. Great job ^^b (I'm glad I picked this to read *A* )
Is this fic a shed reference?
5112750 Thank you~ Glad you're enjoying it!~
5112831 No sheds are involved~
5112839
So, no fluttershy serial killerness?
5112844 WELL, I never said THAT
She just... doesn't do it in a shed :33
Whoohoo! First comment, Oh i'm so glad to see this back!! OWO I deeply love Fluttershy's twist after Rarity asked "How could you..." to her, really well done ^^b
5341247 I'm glad you liked it~ I had a bit of time and managed to add a chapter. I'm so sorry it's taking so long, it's just that I'm so busy lately!
Oh, I wonder what she'll ask. Wonderful story.
5418117 Thank you!~~ Might consider working on this one tonight.
She killed Scootaloo?6728753 Well, no, but you've got the right idea xD