• Published 20th Apr 2014
  • 5,193 Views, 566 Comments

Twilight Sparkle And the Very Confusing Apocalypse - kudzuhaiku

Twilight Sparkle wakes up, and right away, there is something wrong as her checklist can't be checked.

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Chapter 1

Wake up next to something blue ✘

Twilight Sparkle groaned as she realised her day was already going off track. She reached over and felt the other side of the bed. It was cold. Her ears perked, straining to hear the Clumsy and Incredibly Noisy Trixie.

Not a sound was heard.

Trixie was having it rough. She was already enormous and her pregnancy had really only just begun. It was worrisome.

Crawl out of bed, procure breakfast ✓

Twilight crawled out of bed and began to look for Trixie. She could smell breakfast cooking. At least she knew were Spike was.

Look in the mirror and fix bedhead ✘

Twilight Sparkle walked past the mirror, her mind someplace else. She trotted down the steps and into the sitting room, seeing Trixie, who was sitting on a couch and rubbing her bulging belly.

Twilight felt her heart skip a beat. Trixie was annoying, Trixie was constantly engaging in a game of who was better than who, and Trixie was an incredibly hot mare that needed to be dominated and had a school filly fetish.

Experience confusing and arousing memory of morning wood ✓

Entertain notion of new pregnancy fetish ✓

“Behold, the Fat and Incredibly Uncomfortable Trixie.” Trixie murmured halfheartedly.

“Trixie, what’s wrong?” Twilight asked, now feeling some concern. Trixie lacking in her usual self confidence was a cause for alarm.

Trixie pointed to her belly as though that explained everything.

“But you’re beautiful.” Twilight retorted, causing Trixie to blush.

“You don’t give Trixie the detentions that you used to.” Trixie replied. “You are no longer Twilight Spankle.”

“Well, I don’t actually want to hurt you.” Twilight explained.

“It isn’t because Trixie is a fat pudgy pony?” Trixie queried.

Say something as an excuse to initiate morning make out session ✓

“Trixie, right now, I think I’m starting to develop a bit of a pregnancy fetish.” Twilight Sparkle blurted.

Trixie’s eyes went wide, her mouth opening into an ‘O’ of surprise. Her hoof continued to make slow lazy circles on her rounded belly. Twilight Sparkle crawled up onto the sofa and wrapped her forelegs around Trixie’s neck, pulling her close, breathing in her scent.

“Trixie is not sure how to roleplay this scenario.” Trixie confessed.

“Just lie back and pretend to be a pumpkin or something.” Twilight Sparkle suggested, beginning to plant kisses along Trixie’s jawline, working her way up her cheek, and then just below her ear.

“Sparkle, dendrophelia, really?” Trixie replied, her body going tense, then going limp, and then going tense again as Twilight’s tongue found its way into her ear. “Ooh ooh ooh w-w-wait how does Trixie be a pumpkin…”

“You’ll shut up if you know what’s gourd for you.” Twilight said, pushing Trixie over and running a hoof over her belly.

“No! Trixie cannot take your puns!” Trixie protested, her hind legs kicking as she fell prey to Twilight’s tickles.

Twilight leaned over, pressing her body against Trixie’s delighting in the feeling of their silky pelts rubbing together, and she began to feel a tingle in her wings.

“Sparkle, don’t squash Trixie!” Trixie cried. After a moment, she turned an delightful shade of puce. “Curse you Sparkle, you’ve made Trixie pun! Trixie is now soiled!”

“I like you dirty.” Twilight whispered.

“Ugh! My eyes!”

Twilight froze.

Remember to think about finding Spike a therapist ✓

“Sounds like a pie fight in here.” Spike said, scowling. “All those wet smacking noises. Breakfast is ready by the way.”

Twilight Sparkle looked over the pile of reports sent by Celestia and did not like what she saw. Odd pregnancies everywhere. Just like Trixie’s pregnancy. Twilight knew firsthoof that Soarin’ was also getting impossibly large impossibly fast. Something was off.

Attempt to determine if there is a new threat to Equestria ✓

Zecora had also reported that Iron Will was distressingly large already. Twilight even remembered her conversation with Zecora and Zecora’s final words.

“Here’s a thought to make you shudder, Iron Will has enormous udders!”

Twilight shuddered at the memory.

Twilight Sparkle also noticed a pattern. Every couple that had came together during the Great Swap and generated a pregnancy had stayed together, feeling unusually strong feelings of love and attachment.

Giggle immaturely at came together ✓

“What is so funny Sparkle?”

“Nothing Trixie!”

Rainbow Dash and Soarin’ were absolutely sickeningly close to one another, with Rainbow Dash doting on Soarin’s every need. Zecora had mentioned feeling unusually attached to Iron Will. Cadance and Shining Armor were falling in love all over again. Fluttershy and Discord, well, Fluttershy was Fluttershy, but even she seemed to under the influence of whatever was taking place. Celestia was curiously infatuated with Windburn, unable to resist the urge to fawn over Windburn every chance she got.

And then there was the distressing Luna situation. Luna’s harem. Luna’s herd. Luna strutted around Canterlot now as though she owned the place. Well, technically, she did, but that was beside the point. Luna and her herd of lunar mares had become the talk of Canterlot. And Luna took every chance she got to shout about her prowess and lord it over her sister.

Celestia had complained that Luna had become unbearable.

Look at Trixie’s delightful curves and become distracted ✓

Twilight Sparkle looked up and pondered Trixie, who was sprawled out splay-legged on a rug and reading a book. There was certainly some strong feelings here. Alarmingly strong feelings. Twilight suddenly had trouble thinking about what she had been doing. She started to think about doing something else. Like doing Trixie…

Pay attention to the task at hoof ✓

Twilight Sparkle was certain that magic was at work here. It didn’t seem to be particularly harmful, or even all that dangerous, if anything it was pleasant. A lot of couples had probably been brought together all over the world. Love was a good thing. It was like friendship, only stronger.

And with all of these pregnancies, the world would be an awful place if the couples had not come together to raise the sudden influx of offspring.

Twilight Sparkle was distracted by the sounds of Trixie farting loudly, pressing down upon her belly to force the gas out.

Whatever you do, do not develop a fart fetish ✘

Twilight Sparkle felt a warm flush of arousal. She wasn’t sure if it was her own hidden desires or the now slightly insidious magic magic at work.

“Phew! Behold the Lingering and Paint Peeling stench of the Bloated and Flatulent Trixie!” Trixie rolled on her side and rubbed her belly, causing even more Windy and Terrible flatulence.

Twilight Sparkle nearly knocked over the table in her rush to take Trixie in her hooves and begin squeezing her to indulge in her newfound fetish.

“Girls, I think we have a problem.” Twilight Sparkle announced.

Twilight’s friends all looked at her, eyes wide, faces full of concern, all of them waiting for Twilight to speak and explain what was going on.

“I believe there is some residual magic from the Great Swap that is accelerating these pregnancies and drawing couples together. The pregnancies concern me but the couples being drawn together part doesn’t seem so bad.” Twilight made a gesture with her hoof.

“Wait… Are Soarin’ and I together because we actually love one another or are we together because something is making us love one another?” Rainbow Dash inquired, looking confused, her ears drooping.

“Does it matter? You were already quite infatuated with one another before this happened.” Rarity replied. “You had a moment of understanding for one another’s positions and it brought you together.”

“I shoulda shagged somepony.” Pinkie Pie blurted.

“Pinkie Pie!” Rarity shouted in offended tones.

“I’ve never seen Big Mac so motherly. He’s like a different stallion now. He follows Apple Bloom and all of her little friends around and watches over them all careful like. He even has tea parties and plays with dolls with them.” Applejack interjected.

“That is curious.” Twilight answered.

“I found him in a dress in Apple Bloom’s room, sitting around a little table drinkin’ tea with Apple Bloom and her friends. One of Granny’s dresses. He had ribbons in his mane.” Applejack said, taking off her hat and looking down inside of it, her face distressed.

There was a painful moment of silence shared between the friends.

Banish awkward silence ✓

“Fluttershy, have you noticed anything?” Twilight asked.

Fluttershy turned red under her pelt, causing her to turn orange as the yellow and red merged together. “No.”

“Are you sure Fluttershy? A lot might be at stake here, can you help me?” Twilight inquired, looking concerned.

Fluttershy began to meep repeatedly, fretting, her wings fluttering and her eyes squeezing shut. She tilted her head, hiding her face behind her mane.

“Aw, come on Flutters, we’re your friends. You can talk to us.” Rainbow Dash said, hovering over and placing a foreleg around Fluttershy.

“I dunno.” Fluttershy squeaked.

“Now now Fluttershy, Dash is correct. We are your friends, you can tell us anything, anything at all darling.” Rarity said in cultured tones.

“Anything at all.” Pinkie repeated.

“Okay,” said Fluttershy in a faint whisper, “every night I become the Flutterbeast. And it’s awful. I savage poor Discord every chance I get, leaving him a bruised and battered draconequus. That’s the real reason why he never leaves the house. It isn’t just because he’s watching the eggs.”

Nurture awkward silence for as long as possible ✓

Twilight Sparkle gnawed her lip, trapped in a silence so awkward it rivaled the time she had walked in on her parents rutting one another and then they had tried to explain the birds and the bees during the most awkward breakfast ever in the history of Equestria.

Twilight could actually hear the sounds of Rainbow Dash’s eyelids blinking rapidly.

Everypony present was busy studying something important on the floor, none of them daring to look one another in the eye.

“Feels so good.” Fluttershy growled. “So so good!" There was a savage rumble coming from Fluttershy’s barrel. A terrifying sound. “I gotta go! Discord needs to be rehabilitated really hard for making everything all mixed up and muddled!”

Twilight Sparkle sat, frozen in shock, watching as Fluttershy ripped the front door from its hinges, escaping the library and heading home.

“I don’t feel a lick o’ sorry for that draconequus.” Applejack said, shaking her head.

Author's Note:

Uh oh...

Oh noes...

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