One day just like any other for me, that is until I find a random girl, about my age, with icy blue hair and similar eyes whom I've never seen before in the woods behind my house. Oddly enough, before I ever went to investigate, there was this wonderful smell of freshly baked fudge accompanied with the sky turning pink. I can't explain it, but I'm going to at least try to figure it out. I mean just who is this girl anyway? What was with the pink sky and sudden aroma of fudge? On top of that, I still have school...
WARNING: There will be cussing in this fic. I'll try and limit it, but it is a self-insert and I tend to cuss IRL. There will be some violence (i.e. fights and whatnot), probably not any gore though (if there is, it won't be too bad) and there may or may not be sexual themes, but I doubt it. I haven't thought that far ahead yet....
Originally a work for Draequine's PonyFall collab, but this story has been removed from the collab. Please go support the great writers over at the collab, especially since they're where I got this entire idea from.
please comment with your thoughts, I can use all the help I can get. Thank you so much and please enjoy!
I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING FROM THE MLP FRANCHISE, Misty (who IS an actual character in the show) is copyrighted and belongs to Hasbro.
Cover Art by dstears, but I also need to thank Kaldanor for helping me by cropping her out of the original, Thank you sooooo much man! I owe you. (original pic here: http://dstears.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d4htqv8)
Several errors. Most potent being using 'You' for 'Your'.
Otherwise, it's fine.
Great story! Truly an excellent job! Reading all of the PonyFall collabs, and yours really stands out! Excellent!
Pretty good although I did see quite a few lowercase 'i's.
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Yeah... Sorry about the minor errors like grammar and spelling and such. I'll be sure to go back and correct them
Pretty good! Will she run into any of the other wonderbolts?
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We'll just have to wait and see
But honestly, I have no idea. It all depends on whether or not I work with the person/people in the collab who are doing other Wonderbolts. So I'm JUST as clueless as everyone else :
she's taking it a little too well, but maybe it;s just me
401169 How well do you think you would take something when you get rescued by someone you don't know, have a conversation with them, and find out they're really nice? As well as possibly begin to form a crush on said nice rescuer? Kinda makes sense in my opinion.
401677 in those circumstances yes, but if i was chilling on the beach then there was a sudden explosion and i woke up as a 6 legged creature on a purple planet and have no idea what happened, then another 6 legged creature comes along and wants to be my friend I wouldn't make friends with them in less than an hour....
I think you missed a spelling error or two.
"Sure. The evidence suggests that you're not ling,"
I would double check it. Other than that it's fine
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Oh wow, how did I miss that?
Thanks for pointing it out Era, I'll fix it and double check it
OKAY
You sir, are 20% cooler. Were sorry if this hurt you in anyway. Brohoof!
So I take it if they booted you out of the collab that means theres no chance of me getting in with a Cloudchaser version? Oh well, I guess I'll rewrite it a bit and make it my own story but still give credit where it's due.
Don't let them make you feel down! You're writings been kickass hilarious so far! Besides haters gonna hate. ^-^ /)
What are you talking about terrible at everything you do? Give yourself a little more credit. I for one found it to be well written.....
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Don't be sorry, it wasn't your fault. If anything, I should never have even asked to join the collab in the first place. As nice and awesome as those people are, I just knew i wouldn't make the cut. And lo and behold, I didn't. That doesn't really dull the pain though. But please go support the PonyFall collab, they're all really nice people and have great ideas of there own. That AND if it weren't for them, this fic wouldn't be up. I'll trudge on through just like I do everyday life.
also,
(\
don't worry about not making ponyfall i rather enjoy you story and think highly of your writing skills i look forward to see how this story progress yours did inspire me to write my own one
BRO SHUT UP RIGHT NOW.
Seriously you're a good writer, and I for one am greatly looking forward to the continuation of this story. I wouldn't worry about getting booted from the collab either. I'm pretty sure the way they chose who stayed and who went was according to the character and whether or not they had a canon personality. If you take an obscure BG pony, then it shifts from being a Pony in Earth fic to being a self-insert that can barely even be considered a pony fic. That is why they were taking people out. It was by no means a judgement of writing abilities, otherwise I'm sure you would still be in the collab right now.
Anyways, keep writing this. It's good stuff.
405779 Yes it had nothing to do with quality. It was purely a character-popularity thing, and a decision forced upon us by the FiMFiction admins.
Only 15 stories and authors remain. Asuya got a raw deal. A very, very raw deal.
I'd be happy to work with him on something else someday, if he'd have me.
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All you have to do is ask man. Just realize that the only reason I'm on so much this week is because I'm on spring break. So if i were to start working on something else, I wouldn't get it done as quickly, nor updated as often since I still have school and everything.
Well I can say I really like this fic. Here enjoy this moustache
. Sadly no monocle or top hat but it's all I got. (Also, Anberlin now has one new fan thanks to you my good sir)
DAMN!
I was so sad when I saw the Author's Note! I wanted to see what would happen next! Better make the next chapter before the shitstorm starts to roll in.
I have all sorts of little things I can nitpick, but overall a good job.
(If you want me to actually nitpick, tell me. Some people get offended.)
small grammical errors... i think i red somewhere "...when she checked her watch, she bolted back to the house after checking her watch."
or something allong the line of that, but its still a fantastic story
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ASK AND YOU SHALL RECIEVE!
So you're a Junior...interesting
On a slightly more serious note, good chapter. I thought certain parts could've done with a bit more imagery, but that's just me.
I eagerly await your next chapter.
this is a pretty cool story
so you get rewarded with kisses
s3.amazonaws.com/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzvjzcie9t1r2j6suo1_1280.png?AWSAccessKeyId=AKIAI6WLSGT7Y3ET7ADQ&Expires=1334010508&Signature=rFZsQEqAfxh6d4IpVRJQCt9ckVA%3D
I EXPECT SOME MORE OF THIS COOL STUFF
sorry about that my caps lock is kinda broken and just goesn on randomly SOMETIMES
see what I mean
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CAPS LOCK? WHAT IS THIS CAPS LOCK YOU SPEAK OF? I ONLY SAW YOU EMPHASIZING YOUR MESSAGE USING THE ROYAL CANTERLOT VOICE!
Anywho, I'll see what I can do man. Interesting things may be sure to come, but we'll just have to wait and see
Ouch stabbing. I've had phosphoric acid thrown at me during the first half of this year. it was only a little but that part of my arm feels like light sandpaper.
Great chapter. I wonder when Mike will stop being clueless lol
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The same time I would. Mike and are one and the same. Right down to the name. This is one hell of a self insert
good chapter although through the entire monday part i was thinking wow he just got stabbed in the ribs and no one noticed and or thought to see if he was okay are you a badass and not telling us?
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Next chapter.
427544TELL US GODDAMNIT!!
ps.we need luna emoticons
you sir, need to have more self confidence, because if this is mostly the real you, then you are badass
I noticed a few mistakes...but I'm a lazy bastard so I wont re-post
. Loving the story though!
This was your birthday gift to me wasnt it you cheeky bastard? Lol jk yay for update, although if it we're me I would have mutilated the unconscious bodies via multiple kicks to the head. Odd how I've only ever been in one fight my whole life... Maybe they were all scared of me...
you know, got stabbed no biggie just an casual monday at high school
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good point man. Great, know i feel stupid.
I'll make some adjustments to make it fit
EDIT: Is that better? Honestly I've never actually been stabbed IRL, so.... yeah. Thanks for pointing that out btw.
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Shallow cut? I can work with that . Especially since i've had more experience with cuts and gashes than I have with stabbings, but that's beside the point.
Thanks for the help man, I really appreciate it. Hopefully the story will seem more realistic and less bullshitty now. And about the bullies, I'm going to do the same thing I did earlier:
Next chapter
Reviewed your story: Now
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Hey, my terrible story finally got reviewed! Guess what, I don't care. I don't even have to read the review to get the gist of it, it being that there are multiple stupid literary mistakes made on my part that take away from the story value. I suck at writing, get over it. I don't really care if hundreds of thousands of people dislike this story, I'm still going to continue it. It's fun for me to write and there are plenty of other stories on just this one site in particular for people to read.
bloody good story mate
This is a little off topic, but I'm taking AP world history a my school. I'm a freshman *Groan* do you have advice on how to take the class better?
Also I love where the story is going, and the fact that you are implementing people from your is a n interesting touch.
Fresh meat and sophomore smash
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Sorry for the kinda late response. You know, school and all... heheh...
Anyway, yeah I think I might be able to help a little. I doubt it'll be much help at all, me being the one guy who's terrible at everything he does, but I'll still try.
This is so awsome
When will there be moar
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I'm working on it, but it might be a while. When I said that I had 3 AP classes in chpt 1, I wasn't kidding. 1 month till AP exams and I'm freaking out a bit.
471029 Next year i'm taking 3 AP classes. I'm gonna cry
I can kiss my social life goodbye.