The Substitute (1)
“AAACHOOO!” Tissues went flying into a tornado from the violent gust of wind. Another was pulled from a box to suffer death by snot as a cerise muzzle attempted to blow her nose. ‘Attempt’ being the key word since her sinuses were well and truly clogged. “Why me?” Cheerilee moaned to herself, “Why couldn’ disp habben tuh somepuneh elshe?” Her mood wasn’t improved by how the pile of recently vanished pills nearby should have kicked in five minutes ago. She was currently wrapped up in a huge blanket, surrounded by tissue boxes with the television on some old documentary about Zebrica.
She heard a knock on the door, or maybe that was just her pounding head. “Cohme een.” She tried to shout. The door swung open to reveal a few ponies she had run into on the street, and by that she meant caringly kidnapped her back home so she could rest and not work. “Hey sis, I got you a pot of mom’s noodle soup.” Berry Punch said, carrying a small insulated pot on her back.
“Danks, sis.” Cheerilee tried to smile. Mom’s soup always did make her feel better, “Pud id on da shtove.” She turned to the other pony standing in the doorway, “’ey, Twiligh’. You do da shtuff?” Great, now the cold was getting to her brain.
Twilight smiled, “Yes, I wrote to the school board to request for a substitute, they should be replying soon.”
“Danks. Dose kids need ta shtudy.” Quickly, Cheerilee grabbed another tissue as a sneeze tried to sneak up on her. “Bleh, I hate dis.”
“It sounds as bad it looks.” Twilight commented. She double checked to make sure that she had her sanitation shield up. As caring as she was, she wasn’t about to suffer alongside her. “It’s a shame that it had to happen right before school.”
Berry chuckled, as she served the soup, “I bet that’s how diseases work. They find a victim, learn their schedule, and then strike at the best opportunity to inconvenience you the most.” Twilight levitated a bowl over to Cheerilee’s blanket igloo as she prepared to give a lecture on how diseases actually work, but she was interrupted by a familiar, and often unwelcome, voice.
“Quite right my dear Berry, you should be a scientist. Equestria needs your opinions on science.” A talon snapped and Berry found herself wearing a lab coat and pointing to a skeleton of a certain draconequus. The skeleton’s jaw moved, “Didn’t you know that bacteria follows the five second rule?”
“Discord, cut it out. That’s not how microorganisms work!” Twilight said, frowning at the very unreal statement.
The skeleton somehow rolled it’s nonexistent eyes, “You always have to take the fun out of my ideas.” In a flash, Discord reappeared fully fleshed out and wearing a biohazard suit. “I happened to be nearby when I heard Berry’s little opinion. Now, if I’m not mistaken, it seems our local teacher seems to be out of commission. Have you looked for a substitute? It would be a shame if those poor foals couldn’t learn.”
“Yes. Yes we have.” Twilight said warily, “Why are you so interested?”
Discord gave her a bemused look, “What? You think I just appeared one day, knowing all that I know?” He said, looking offended, “I’ll have you know, Little Miss Student, that I am quite edu-macated. Here’s proof!” He reached into Cheerilee’s closet and pulled out a whip. With a crack of the whip, it turned into an official looking diploma. “See? I clearly have credentials to back up my position.”
“This is written in crayon and glitter.” Twilight deadpanned, “Also, it’s just a picture of you wearing a graduation cap and gown?”
“Only you would make expectations of a degree in Chaos.” He scoffed, before handing it to Cheerilee as she sneezed again. “Besides, I’m more surprised why you aren’t going to teach these students.”
Twilight looked away, “Because, as Celestia’s student, I still have my own research to do. I also have no experience teaching. I could tutor a few foals, but not a whole class.”
Honk! Cheerilee sneezed. “Naht ta menshun that she t’ied once an’ all da foals fell ashleep ‘cuz a ‘er ‘lesson plan’.”
“Hey, my lesson would have worked just fine if they had payed attention!” Twilight interjected as Discord and Berry tried not to laugh.
Now Cheerilee stared at her, “For college shtudents, maybe. Not inattentive foals.” Twilight huffed and grumbled about how she could teach foals if they paid attention for more than five minutes.
“Heheheh. Well, knowing how boring Twilight can be with education, how about I make a suggestion?” Discord said as he put a dunce cap on the alicorn, “I know a delightfully fun teacher who could easily teach your student while you’re sick.”
Cheerilee wasn’t sick enough to be stupidly trusting, “Whad’s da catch?” she got out before another sneeze.
“Oh, you ponies are so distrustful. Can’t you tell I’ve been reformed?” A halo, two white wings and a divine light appeared around him. Seeing the lack of change on their faces he added, “The only thing I’m getting out of it is that I would find it very entertaining.”
“I dunno.” Berry interjected, “You aren’t exactly known to be helpful. Why the sudden change?”
“Well, my sober companion,” Discord said, appearing over Berry’s shoulder, “Change is a fundamental part of Chaos. Without it, it’s like standing water and that wouldn’t be good for anypony, but I digress. It’s dear Cheerilee’s decision to make.”
Cheerilee stared blearily from Discord to the soup and tissues in front of her. After a few minutes and a couple sneezes, she said, “As long as dey can ‘andle foals, it’s fine.”
Discord grinned manically, “I knew you’d make the right choice. I’ll have her come by first thing tomorrow!” He snapped his talon and vanished. Twilight started to protest, but Cheerilee held up a hoof.
“Not a word, Twilight. I’m too sick to ‘ear you lecture me.”
“But, why?” she asked.
“Wid foals, ib’s importan’ dey hab fun while dey learn.” Cheerilee explained with a smirk.
“I have a question though.” Berry said, “Was it just Discord, or did you actually have a whip in your closet?”
“….Discord.” she answered, hiding her face with the bowl of soup.
*****
The next day, the foals of Ponyville elementary found themselves at their desks waiting for Miss Cheerilee to arrive. Five minutes in and no teacher in sight, the students started to wonder.
“I bet she was abducted by aliens!” Snips shouted.
“Nuh uh, she probably slept in.” Pipsqueak countered.
“Do teachers sleep in?” Scootaloo pondered
“No way, she’d have to be a robot to sleep in.” Snails reasoned.
And so the objections and assumptions flew, with the occasional insult from Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. In the middle of it, Applebloom’s ears flicked towards the door, catching a sound. “Hey, everypony quiet! I hear something.”
“The sound of your missing cutie mark?” Diamond Tiara sneered.
“No, the sound of shut up, ah’m trying to listen.” Applebloom retorted. There was a soft rumble in the air, as if it was a large dragon growling and it was getting louder. Getting out of her seat, Applebloom trotted to the window and scanned for the source. She soon found it as a large yellow beast that chugged up the road. It didn’t look like a dragon at all, but more like a machine with some mysterious purpose. It was covered in strange pictures and had glass windows set into the sides of it.
“What is that thing?” Sweetie asked. Apparently, everypony had gotten up to look through all the windows after Applebloom did.
“Ah’ve no idea.” Applebloom answered, “D’ya think it’s dangerous?”
Sweetie didn’t answer as the metal beast pulled into the schoolyard and stopped with a screech. One side of it opened up and a strange creature with even stranger clothes stepped out. It also had a green lizard on its shoulder. As it approached the school, the foals scrambled back into their seats, just in case it was a substitute. The last foal reached his seat at the door opened.
“Good morning, class!” a high pitched voice rang out, oozing with enthusiasm about education, “I’m your teacher for the day as yours is sick with the flu.” It giggled, “She did sound a bit hoarse when I met her.” The creature stood on two legs and had no hair except for that orange beehive-like mess on its head. From the voice, it seemed to be a female, and was currently decked out in a dress covered in books, rulers, pencils, and other learning tools. Even her earrings were open books. Her lizard jumped off her shoulder and crawled around on the desk.
Everypony, including Diamond and Silver, were stunned speechless. This was their substitute teacher?
Sweetie was the first to break the silence, “Who’re you?”
The creature said, “I’m Miss Frizzle, Sweetie. I’m going to be teaching you today.” Sweetie was a bit spooked at how she knew her name. “So what topics was your teacher going over?”
“We were going over how we should all just go out and play.” Scootaloo lied, “We didn’t need to learn anything for a while.” Every foal knows that most substitutes are easy to con.
Miss Frizzle leaned down and booped the pegasus, “Nice try, Scootaloo.” She returned to the desk where the lizard was trying to juggle the apples left there by the foals, “However, going outside wouldn’t be so bad. In fact, I believe we should go on a field trip!” she shouted with enthusiasm, her earrings blinking with light.
“A field trip?” the entire class echoed in confused unison.
“But of course.” Miss Frizzle said, walking towards the door, “As I always say, take chances, make mistakes, and get messy! To the bus!” On that note, she left the building, leaving the foals in silence.
“We should probably follow her.” Sweetie said, getting out of her chair and trotting towards the door. Some of the other foals started to do the same.
“Well, I’m not going. Who knows what that weird teacher will do?” Diamond complained, with Silver agreeing.
“Suit yourself.” Scootaloo said, leaping out of her chair, “Hope your dad understands that during your next detention.”
Diamond tried not to flinch. If she got detention, then her dad wouldn’t be happy. She had been hoping to get that new dress this weekend. “On second thought, I might go. It would be bad if somepony wasn’t there to make fun of your blank flanks.” She and Silver got up to join the line of foals.
Applebloom was the last to get out of her seat. She quickly caught up to her friends and said, “Am I the only one who has a bad feeling about this?”
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You have my attention.
OMFG this had better be good! I mean, it's the fucking MAGICAL school bus :D
Seat belts everyone!
I... I love you! I wanted to write this the second I saw the comic when it came out, so if you ever need/want a pre-reader, or someone to bounce ideas off of, please let me know!
Oh this is gonna be sweet. I wonder if any of the kids will say that they knew they should've stayed home today?
Heh, I remember watching this show, the question is, who is Carlos?
I'm disappointed in the little amount of Magic School Bus fanfiction. Thank you for rectifying that.
Though the ones where she's a Time Lady is pretty sweet.
Don't fail me now, musicman. Make this one also awesome. And you so far have no [REDACTED] yet. Keep it up.
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mami53FpbT1qixynyo1_500.jpg
This is going to be pure awesomeness. The Magic School Bus, along with Arthur, was my childhood and you have made me one happy man.
img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20131003005235/degrassi/images/7/70/Right-in-the-childhood.jpg
I'm really going to read this one.
So
is Arnold?
Have the Fillies in Outer Space
4302196 who wears belts on a bus?
Well, very curious what adventures they are going on
inb4CARLOS!!!
I am half tempted to make a Carlos joke... but I can't think of anything good.
images.wikia.com/ponymondawndusk/images/c/c9/Discord_YES.gif
Ahhh, such sweet memories. "Ride on the Magic School Bus!"
This is a great idea
I can feel my soul aging!
I fear for Big Mac then.
4302947 It's from the show's theme.
Here few ideas for field trips
1. dinosaurs
2. deserts
3. sound
4. bats
5. ocean wildlife
6. spiders
I think series of chapters is good ideas
Ooh boy. Magic School Bus was my number 1 early childhood show! Glad to see someone writing something on it. I think breaking it up into chapters is a good idea, not everyone likes to read a giant wall of text per chapter. Personally, I have no problem with it, but I'm just thinking about others.
Amazing.
And yet... I can see Miss Frizzle and Discord getting along splendidly.
I even believe Discord gave her Bus in the first place because of how wacky yet educated she is.
plus her famous quote all but screams something Discord would follow in a heart beat.
Omg. NO NO NONONONONONO. (yes)
And after Clifford we have the magic bus (good times). Why isn't there a nostalgia group yet?
MY CHILDHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!
I can't yell enough!
YES!
Please write more!
MY CHILDHOOD!
OMG, I just got inspired!
Great job on the story, btw
hahahah so longggggggg
4302287 PINKIEEEE!!!
YES! YES! YES!
FINALLY SOMEONE DECIDES TO WRITE THE MOST PERFECTLY FITTING CROSSOVER IDEA EVER! RIDE ON THE MAGIC SCHOOLBUS MUTHA BUCKAS!
I knew I should have stayed home today...
Seat belts everypony!
This is going to amazing. I love that show, I can't believe there aren't more of these kinds of crossovers.
Berry and Cheerilee sisters? I like it.
Nitpick, but bacteria is actually the plural of bacterium, so gramatically speaking it should be 'bacteria follow'.
On a side note, yes. So much of my yes. All of my yes. ALL OF IT! The only conceivable way this could get better is... nope, nothing. MOOOAR!
4302629 I assume DT is Arnold because she doesn't want to go.
4305618 Maybe BUT [AB did say Why do I get a Bad feeling about this [Arnold always had a bad feeling
4303680 Who do you think summoned her?
Oh god i love this show. Faved
OHHHHHHH SHIT
Loved that show. Probably one of the only educational kids shows that actually made learning fun. I already love this!
Oh I remember this, taught lessons without me falling asleep. Hope you can do it just like the show!