• Published 18th Apr 2014
  • 4,834 Views, 129 Comments

My Summer's Sunset - RunDevilRun007



I'm new to Canterlot High School, and I keep hearing about this girl with flame-like hair...I don't think she's as bad as everyone claims...In fact...I think she's beautiful.

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Chapter 2 - Sunset (Shimmer)

Chapter 2 - Sunset (Shimmer)

After another particularly boring day of school...God do I hate school. I could finally focus on what was important to me, Sunset Shimmer. My only hope is that she hasn't gone home already. Took me forever to get out of my last class.

I had to push and shove almost everyone in school out of my way as I exited the door, looking around for Sunset. At the end of this cluster you-know-what of kids rushing to get home. (Not that I blame them.) I found her, she was walking out to her car and was about to go home.

Now...I know what you all are thinking..."Couldn't you just wait till tomorrow? I mean, she'll be in school tomorrow, won't she?" That's not that point! I want to get to know her now! If I don't, it'll drive me crazy all day and all night.

"Sunset!" I yelled out, hoping she'd hear me. Sure enough she turned around and looked for me, when she finally spotted me waving at her she waved back. I managed to break free of the crowd and run over to her. Great, now I'm panting, sweaty and my long brown hair is probably a mess. Real chick magnet.

"I...Wanted...Haa...Haa..." I panted as I tried to catch my breath from fighting the crowd of kids and running halfway across the courtyard.

"Slow down, catch your breath." Sunset said.

After catching my breath and recomposing myself. I cleared my throat and tried again. "Sunset...I wanted to know...If, um...Maybe...We could...Sit somewhere and talk? Just us?" I asked nervously, rubbing the back of my neck and blushing like a schoolgirl.

Sunset gave a very shy look to me and thought for a minute before answering "Y-Yeah...I'd like that." She said with a smile, a small blush on her face, which was simply adorable in my eyes. I couldn't help but smile back and stare into those beautiful light greenish blue eyes.

"How about the Wondercolts' soccer field? No one's there today and it would be a shame to waste this beautiful weather." I commented.

Sunset nodded and we walked to the field together, sitting on one of the bleachers together and just talking. We talked about our favorite colors, favorite foods, favorite music. Oddly enough, we both like the same kind of music. I even talked a bit about my family, but she didn't...I found it odd...Was she an orphan? Does she not get along with her family? Or was that just more info than she wanted to give? I decided it was best not to pry.

I felt more and more comfortable with this girl as we talked, I...I might be in love...

I looked around the sky on this beautiful spring day "You know...I've always loved spring rain...And overcast." I commented.

Sunset raised her brow at me "Really? Why's that?" She asked in reply.

"Well...I dunno, something...Beautiful about it...I think the only thing more beautiful than a rainy or overcast-y day..." I looked at Sunset and smiled "Is a rainy or overcast-y Sunset..." In my mind my eyes and widened...Where did THAT come from? I've never said anything like that in my life! Is this how love affects me?

Sunset's eyes widened and she blushed almost as red as her hair. "Oh...My goodness...T-Thanks..." She smiled and looked away shyly.

She's adorable...And beautiful. Nothing like how the other kids described her...They said she was a tough girl, she was a bully and that at one time she "Ran the school." Whatever happened at that Fall Formal...Changed her, she was nice, sweet and lovable, at least in my eyes.

I smiled at her and moved a bit closer. She looked up at me shyly for a second before looking away again.

"Sunset..." I started hesitantly, thinking real hard about what I was going to ask before I asked it. I swallowed and hoped I didn't screw this up. "Sunset...What happened at the Fall Formal? Why do kids around here give such nasty descriptions of you?"

She looked down sadly for a good while, I blew it. I know I blew it...Or so I thought. She finally looked at me and said "I'll tell you...In due time..." She looked down again "...But not right now."

I frowned and put my arm around her. "Well then...Care to tell me where you came from? About your family?" I asked nicely.

She shook her head "No...It...It's too complicated...I don't think you'd believe me." She replied sorrowfully.

"Try me." I responded.

She sighed and closed her eyes "I'm from a place called Equestria. It's another world beyond a mirror portal filled with ponies." She said without ever even looking at me.

I sat there, just blinking, trying to process what she just told me when I remembered some guys talking to that Flash Sentry dude, they mentioned a girl who was from a place called Equestria. And that she was a pony princess...Her name was...Twilight, I think.

"I've heard about this...Equestria...Some pony princess came here from there to get her crown back, no?" I asked.

Sunset immediately looked at me and cocked her head "Yeah, how did you know?"

I shrugged "I heard that dreamboat Flash Sentry..." I rolled my eyes as I made that comment "...And his buddies talking about some pony princess who came here."

Sunset looked down again "Oh...Yeah, her..."

"You know her?" I asked curiously.

Sunset looked off into the distance "Yeah...You could say that..."

I shook my head for a minute "It's no matter. You tell me what you wanna know, when you want to." I said with a smile

Sunset turned to face me and smiled "Thanks."

I looked over and the sun was setting, casting a beautiful orange glow over Canterlot, it was an image one could only see in their dreams...Or in a work of art. I put my arm back around Sunset and held her, which she didn't stop me from doing, as we stared at the sunset. I smiled as she put her head on my shoulder "Look at it...The sunset is beautiful, isn't it?" I commented.

"Yeah...It really is..." Sunset replied happily.

I looked over at her and smiled "Not as beautiful as this Sunset though."

Once again Sunset blushed and smiled "Oh, you...You really are a hopeless romantic, aren't you?"

I simply nodded as we watched the sun go down together. As the night started to fall I looked at my phone...Well...I was about an hour late for dinner and my parents were probably going to be pissed, but oh well. I'd stay here forever.

After a few more minutes Sunset moved a bit and stated "I should probably get home. It's late and I'm hungry." I stood up with her and chuckled "Yeah...I'm an hour late for dinner, my parents are probably going to get mad, especially since I have to walk 20 minutes to get home."

Sunset looked over at me "I could give you a ride home if you want."

I returned the smile "Thanks. I'd appreciate it."

We walked to her car and she drove me home, Canterlot was beautiful at night, all the lights, and we had perfect nighttime driving music. Sunset agreed that some day we should go cruising at night just to enjoy the sights. Alas, it was a short ride and we soon arrived at my place. I looked at the door, not wanting to go in.

"You gotta face them eventually." Sunset commented.

"Yeah...I know..." I replied as I opened the door.

"Hey..."

I turned to look at Sunset

"Thanks...I had a great time with you." She smiled

"Me too." I returned the smile

Suddenly Sunset leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. Now I was the one blushing.

"I...Um...Oh my..."

Sunset giggled and waved at me as I got out, she drove off and I was still there, rubbing my cheek where she kissed me. Now it was confirmed...I'm in love with Sunset Shimmer. I didn't care about anything else at this point, I didn't care that my parents yelled at me the second I was in the door. For awhile I didn't hear anything. When my trance finally ended I told my parents I was with someone.

"Who?!?" My dad asked angrily.

"A girl..." I said dreamily.

My parents' expressions turned to curiosity as they looked at each other.

"Honey...I think our boy is in love." My mom said with a smile.

My dad looked me over for a minute "Yep, that looks like a young man in love to me."

Now I was embarrassed as hell. Blushing wildly "I...I...No! I mean...Aw crap..."

"Ain't nothing wrong with it, son. Whoever this young lady is, I can tell she makes you happy. And that's what's most important." My dad said with a chuckle.

Dinner was awkward, nothing but questions about my mystery girl and talk about love and romance...I never felt more awkward in my life.

Finally after dinner I was able to go up to my room...I tried to play video games. But I couldn't focus, and after a couple hours of sucking at my games due to lack of concentration, it was time for bed. But I couldn't sleep. I just laid there for what felt like hours just thinking about Sunset and the potential life we could have together...Soon I was drifting off to sleep, but my mind never stopped thinking about her...

Sunset Shimmer...

Comments ( 56 )

Hopeless romantic. The cheesiest kind there is. Good story.

Look at it...The sunset is beautiful, isn't it?" I commented.
"Yeah...It really is..." Sunset replied happily.
I looked over at her and smiled "Not as beautiful as this Sunset though."

This guy is cheesy yet smooth as f**k at the same time, just like I am.

Did Flash ever make Sunset blush like that? It's hard to tell... :unsuresweetie:
I'm glad someone can actually understand Sunset and how she feels. :twilightsmile:
"Hopeless romantic," indeed. :raritywink:
Aw... She kissed him on the cheek. That's so cute. :twilightblush:

4269845

Me too lmfao. :rainbowlaugh:


4269857

I dunno. :derpyderp1:

Sunset is my girl. Been my favorite character from EqG for a long time. :pinkiehappy:

I wrote a lot of cute into this chapter. :twilightsmile:

4269896 To me, she's a lot like what Harley thinks of the Joker:

Except for the abusive childhood part. She'd most likely be an orphan who watched her folks get shot by a psychopath like him:

4269954

Interesting idea there. :pinkiegasp:

4269964 You think so, eh? :raritywink:

This guy is floating on cloud nine right now. I wouldn't be surprised if he spent the next chapter levitating, with little cartoon hearts popping out of his head. :rainbowkiss:

4269972

Yeah. :moustache:

4269982

He probably will. I know I would be. :twilightsmile:

4270018 Why, thanks.
By the way, can't wait for the next chapter.

4270024

You're most welcome. :twilightsmile:

I'll keep thinking of ideas for Chapter 3 as the week goes on. :raritywink:

Why does this guy have four high school classes in the morning? That's three hundred and twenty minutes. God damn, how long are is his school days.

AAWWWWWW!!!!

It's hard to read this chapter without feeling warm and fuzzy inside!! :rainbowkiss: :twilightblush: :heart:

Keep up the good work! :twilightsmile:

Eh... I'm interested in this, but it just feels a bit... Off. Not that i'm complaining, mind; it just seems to me that Shimmy had a bit too much of a radical transformation from being a power-hungry bully to being this cute & sweet girl. It'd be much more interesting if she hadn't changed so much, like she was set on the path, but she was still trying to get a good grip on the ropes. It would certainly add for more conflict, and much more of a rewarding experience when her attitude or feelings change.

... And on a personal note, I like to imagine Shimmy as being a bit of a tsundere. :rainbowkiss:

Before I read, what gender am "I"?

4270477 Going to have to agree with the Sunset making the change from bully to something else so quickly. I probably wasn't paying attention but there should be a bit of anti-socialism in Sunset when its coming to learn that maybe she wants to be cautious of the whole friendship thing. I know the show says "everyone is your friend, blah blah" but there are just certain people out there that can't really be friends with. Not by choice sometimes but usually because of mentality and socialism. Not saying she should be anti-social but just not as open.

I feel the story is going a little too fast actually where it took 1 chapter to just catch her and just randomly just go ahead and hang out with someone she barely knows. And already the main character knows the whole story with Sunset that probably would be better off figuring out himself with vague details others are throwing out for him. I mean, when you go to a new school and everyone is talking about "pony princesses from another world" you would not believe it at first either or pretty much think everyone is crazy.

This is getting interesting

Comment posted by g0tph0ne deleted May 13th, 2018

Getting pretty juicy. You might need to extend your vocabulary so it doesn't get too repetitive. Other than that, keep up the good work!:twilightsmile:

Sunset: I'm a horse from another demension. This isn't even my real form.

Protagonist: K.

Seems legit.

My god, this guy is absolutely hopeless........

.......And completely honest about it. The best kind of hopeless! :pinkiecrazy:

I haven't really read many Sunset Shimmer romance fics to be honest, but I can tell that this is pretty good. I do agree with what 4271006 said though. You might wanna pick up on a few good terms.

4269896

Sunset is my girl. Been my favorite character from EqG for a long time.
I wrote a lot of cute into this chapter.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO somebody has a crush:heart::raritywink::pinkiehappy::rainbowkiss::heart:

Kawaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii~ :pinkiehappy:

SFC
SFC #28 · Apr 22nd, 2014 · · 6 ·

Brilliant, a self insert where the author manages to sleep with a character from the show. How original.

Of course, this is (unfortunately) quite common in Brony culture. Give me a shout when you write a story that doesn't include an OC.

yay another chapter :twilightsmile:
love this story keep it comin with the good stuff :rainbowkiss:

It's a good story but it just feels very rushed. Slow down on the plot development.

4274283
Can you give me a shout when you don't hate a story? I'd truly like to know when this occurs, because it must be rather good to meet your standards. And no, I'm not joking here- you seems like a person who accepts only the best, and I wish to know when you find the best.

"The story is too rushed" No, it's not. This is a fanfic, not a fucking romance novel. It doesn't need to take 10 chapters just to get the plot going. It's a quick, fun, cute story. Enjoy it for that.

4272855

Yeah... :twilightblush::heart::heart::heart:


4274979

I'll try.


4271464

About as legit as the movie. Remember:

Twilight: I'm a pony princess from another demension.

Human Mane 5: K.

4271006

I'm doing the best I can. I failed language arts in school. :raritydespair: I'll try, though... :pinkiesad2:


4270567

It's not written to be "You" the reader, it's just an unnamed narrator, who is a boy.


4270407

As you may be able to tell, I only attended high school for one year, then I did an online school for another year, then I dropped out...I honestly can't remember how class schedules work. :facehoof:

4260601

Shrek is love, Skrek is life.

Wow.

I'm honestly surprised that there are Bronies on here

(besides me)

Who actually liked Equestria Girls :rainbowkiss:

I thought everypony hated it and pretends it never happened.

4270407
Not all high schools have the same amounts of time for classes. I have 6 periods a day that are all 60 minutes.

A Sunset X Human OC story? Hm... I am intrigued. Looking forward to more :scootangel:

4276310 I don't like the movie but really trying to say its all shit is really a understatement. I'm not those people who say that whatever EG touch will turn into shit like some people "Looks at critter247" :trixieshiftright:

Oh man this is getting better and better.

4274283
Hmm...first that Sparity story, now this.

Like I said, that avatar explains everything in a nutshell. :rainbowlaugh:

4276264
Hey nice job there 007!

4283469

I've already addressed this. If it's too fast for you, that's just a damn shame, hate to tell ya.


4288303

:twilightblush:

4274283

Contact me when you stop being a Grade-A Faggot.

4375356 *looks at your response to flying cookie* *begins slow clapping enthusiastically* I applaud you good sir! You have done what I've always wanted to do with asses like him!

Holy @#$%, the fic is uncancelled.

Yes, I'm going to start working on this story again. Huzzah!

Comment posted by TheEvilHasLanded deleted May 28th, 2014
Comment posted by SFC deleted Aug 7th, 2014

4449584
Alright! :pinkiehappy:

Sorry for the late reply.

They should have an Equestria Girls Tag, without it the easiest way to find an EG Fanfic is use the Sunset Shimmer Tag.

This story is fairly interesting. I for one enjoy Sunset x OC ships, especially told from the 2nd person.

However... it feels like it was written sloppily.

There is no pacing to it whatsoever. I agree, it shouldn't take 10 chapters to get to the point. But it also shouldn't be as quick as two chapters and undeveloped characters. The parents seem like they came out of a 90s sitcom. The way the main character conveniently knows what's going on in the school and about the mane five with just a mild half a paragraph leaves much to be desired. Also, ATTACK OF THE CLICHES :ajbemused: I cringed and facehoofed more than once.

Like I said, you have a lot of potential to go somewhere with this. Perhaps you should request an editor, and get a second opinion. Remember to keep the reader in mind when writing; what sounds good to you may not read well for the reader! And with anything, practice makes perfect! (Damn it, I dropped a cliche.) :twilightblush:

5527445

Whee, reply and overly criticize a fic I cancelled like a fucking year ago. Why are you people even still reading this story? It's shit. It always was shit. I'm ashamed I wrote it so to anyone else reading this fic and thinking of commenting. DON'T. I'm not working on this abomination of a story anymore. Your criticism won't help cause it's dead. Let it rest in pieces.

5527445

Okay, I reread your comment and my first reply was a bit harsh. I apologize for that. You make a good point, a few in fact. But I did cancel this story a long time ago and I'm ashamed to have wrote it. So again, apologies about my outburst. I'm hot-headed.

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