My little Short Stories 2- Paradise Edition

by Paradise Oasis

An Ace at sports

An Ace at sports

Ugh, what is wrong with these ponies? Can't they see how awesome I am? I just won the whole football game for Coltonville high, and they're all lifting Patch up over their heads, and carrying her off the playing field like she's some kind of hero! PATCH! Okay yeah, she did makes that last kick that scored us the point and won the game, but if it hadn't been for my careful planning and strategies, we wouldn't have scored a single point during this whole game! Why do I even waste my time playing for these worthless ponies when they can't even see greatness when it's right in front of them?!

Oh yeah, sorry... name's Ace, all-star athlete, and Coltonville's greatest hometown sports hero. You know, the handsome stud with the golden mane and coat in the front row of Miss Hackney's class? Yeah, as you can tell from the football on my flank, I'm the awesomest pony at the sport in like... the whole pony world! (Except in dumb old Dream Valley, where they degrade my favorite game by calling it soccer!) I'm going to make it to the professional teams after I graduate, and one day I'll play against the Equestrian teams in the big leagues! Yes sir, my future is totally made for me, and I won't even have to lift a hoof or worry to make my dreams come true. Man, life's so totally awesome for a pony like me, isn't it?

I know, you've probably seen me hangin' with my two best buds, Teddy and Lancer. Yeah, I know, why would an awesome pony like me lower himself to waste his time with a barbaric bully and an egg headed nerd? *Sigh* The sacrifices a star must make to help his friends out. The truth is, I'm the leader of that little group, and those poor misguided fools would be lost without me. Lancer would be lost without one of his precious textbooks to tell him what to do, and Teddy's temper is so short he'd probably start fighting with himself if he didn't have a cool head to keep him in check. I would be surprised if they would start fighting with each other, if good old Ace wasn't around to guide them by the hooves.

Still, I have discovered that having Lancer's brains and Teddy's brawn around can be useful... when it suits my purposes, that is. The fillies and colts at my school are so easy to manipulate, I can get whatever I want out of them with the right cunning, charisma, and charm. Make them think you're important, and make them think you think they are important, and you can have any pony eating right out of your hooves. I can convince any colt that I'm their friend, getting them to jump of a bridge if I want them to. And I can also charm any filly, sweeping them off their hooves and into the sack before they even realize what happened.

Speaking of which, yeah Starlight and her little band of fillies. I don't really think much of em', a bunch of average babes. Bon Bon is a really good cook, despite being a fatty. And Bright Eyes is even smarter than lancer... though she's the ugliest out of the seven. Clover might be a little pretty, if she weren't such an awful and clumsy klutz. Still, they're pretty easy to get stuff out of em' when you want to- a well-placed compliment here, a wink and a toss of your pretty-boy mane there, and it's like taking candy from a foal.

And besides, I've had my turn with most of them, anyway. Bagged Bon Bon under the bleachers prom night of junior year, and I wooed Starlight beneath Miss Hackney's desk during a late night study session at the school after the faculty had left. I sang a sweet tune with Melody under the Rockin Beats' practice stage, and Patch was such a klutz she almost tripped over and fell while we were- ugh, I don't wanna even think about it. There are a few 'don't touch' fillies, like Teddy and Lancer would kill me if I laid a hoof on Bright Eyes or Sweetheart, and Patch responded to my charm with a hoof to the groin- yewouch! Still, those fillies are the exception to the rule, as I can get almost any other female in this school I want!

See, the thing is that all these ponies, when it comes right down to it, are actually morons. You smile and wave, you tell them what they want to hear, and it gets their guard down. stuff they normally wouldn't do for anyone now suddenly makes total sense to them as the right thing to do, and a small suggestion can go a long way in getting what you want out of 'em. Ponies think you're the greatest friend to come along since Twilight Sparkle, and they'll bend hoof over heels to make you happy. Why the hay should you fight and struggle with someone over something you want, when you can simply get them to up and give it to you? Man I tell ya, the ponies of Coltonville can be so damn dumb it hurts!

Anyway, nothing changes the fact that when it comes to popularity, I rule this school! Why I could own all of the colts and stallions here with my left hoof, and eat a bag of potato chip with my right. It doesn't take much to get what I want in Coltonville, it all just depends on having the right touch. Oh shoot, that new filly who transferred in from the isle of Pony just trotted by, time to go work my magic! Hey Pigeonsmall, wait up! Wanna go to the skating rink together?

Aw Yeaaaahhhhh, I still got it!

Comments

[Starlight Nova]

You forgot to add the genre tags.