A Full Royal Petition
“It is a rare event in and of itself that there is a Full Royal Petition. But this is the first time ever that one so young has come to make such a request. You should be proud of yourself, Sunny Joy. You have made history.”
Captain Brave Heart winced in sympathy for the young filly. Princess Luna may have meant well with her statement, but it seemed to only make the yellow coated unicorn tremble more. Her orange mane was steadily becoming more frazzled.
“It is alright. Calm yourself, young one. My sister was just commenting on your commitment, something very remarkable in any age. Now, take a deep breath,” at which point Sunny’s belly expanded, and her cheeks puffed out comically, “And exhale.” A whoosh of air. “Now breathe in again, and exhale. In again, and exhale.”
As always, Princess Celestia was calm; ever able to help. While all ponies enjoyed the company of young children, Princess Celestia was noted for being one of the most motherly ponies in all of Equestria. “Do you feel better, my little pony?” A nod. “Good. Did you know that you are not the only nervous one here?”
“Really?” The voice was more of a squeak, an awkwardly high pitch.
“Indeed. You see, this is Princess Twilight’s first time at a Full Royal Petition. Both of you are doing something new, and I have full confidence that everything will go well.” Sunny’s legs had stopped shaking, which was good. What was great was the adorable red tinge on Princess Twilight’s face.
“Now, I believe you have a problem or a request that you felt was serious enough to be brought before the triarchy.” It was a statement, not a question.
Sunny nodded. Her eyes darted across the room, before settling on a softly smiling Princess Celestia. Brave Heart wished that smile was directed at her. It always felt like mother smiling at you for doing something well. Sunny opened her mouth-
“Iwantyoutotakevacations!”
The Royal Sisters simply blinked. Princess Twilight had a much more amusing reaction. “Er…what?”
“I want you to take vacations.”
Again the two blinked. “Why?” Princess Twilight had a perplexed look, having obviously encountered something she couldn’t understand.
“I think Princess Twilight is asking ‘why do you request that we take vacations?’ I am interested in the why too, but also in the story of how you came to the conclusion that we need vacations.” Princess Luna may have looked unfazed, but her voice was vexed.
“Well, uh…I guess I got the idea kinda-sorta from Calm Meadows.” A hoof rubbed back and forth on the ground. “You see, Meadows is one of those places for old ponies to rest. I mean old ponies, like over fifty years old.”
Brave Heart quickly swallowed a chuckle. Ah, the young were truly amusing in their lack of scale. At least the young filly was calming down as she told her story.
“You see, there is this old lady there. A Miss Belle. She is such a nice lady, always playing hide and seek with us, weaving scarves, or telling stories. She tells a lot of stories about you, Princess Twilight.”
Said princess was no longer looking at the young filly. Her gaze had clouded over, seeing things only she could. “Yes…yes I’m not surprised. I believe I know of who you speak. She is a younger sister of a good friend I once knew.”
“She might have mentioned something like that. Oh, she tells such funny stories about you. I love the one about Smarty Pants.”
Once again Princess Twilight’s face lit up in that lovely red, though it was obscured by her mane. Princess Luna let out a single laugh.
“While I enjoy hearing stories about my former student, I would much rather hear yours.”
“Huh…oh right! Anyways, Miss Belle is always smiling, always happy. Well, there is this other mare who lives there, and she is crabby. She’s always going on about how ‘this generation can’t ever get their cutie marks’ or ‘why do I still have to take care of the family financials? Can’t my grandchildren take care of it?’ She is never smiling!”
“Just of curiosity, does this mare have a tiara as a cutie mark?”
“How did you know that?” Stars seemed to shine in Sunny’s eyes as she beheld Princess Twilight in awe.
“Oh, it’s just something we princesses do.”
“That’s so cool…anyway, I don’t like her. She never smiles! She has…has…what was it Mom said under her breath? Oh yeah, she has a stick up her butt!
I don’t like her having a stick up her butt. It makes her mean. But then I thought about what was causing her to have a stick up her butt, so I tried to remember who else had them. Then it came to me, Dad is always complaining about Nobles being ‘straight rammed from the stick,’ so I figure he must be talking about sticks up their butts.”
Princess Twilight was now trying very hard not to laugh, forelegs covering her mouth. Princess Luna was grinning like a filly on Hearth's Eve, and even Princess Celestia had a small smile.
“So then I got to thinking: what do all these ponies have in common? Well, they are all rich, all old, they have important jobs, and they don’t go out and play. That was when I realized something important.”
A hoof pointed at the three Princesses. “You are all old. Like really, really old. Like ancient old. At least over a hundred.” At this Princess Twilight had an offended look on her face. Really, she had just turned ninety.
“And you are rich! I mean come on, you are princesses. You have to be rich. And you have the most important job of all. And I have never heard of you coming out to play. So I became worried. What if you ended up with the largest sticks shoved up your butts?! That would be a disaster!”
Captain Brave Heart was a decorated officer. She had fought and defeated a cult of Sombra worshippers, discovered a changeling plot, and had actually succeeded in putting Philomena in timeout after a pranking spree. Today, she failed her first battle, collapsing on the ground in a fit of silent laughter. At least she was behind the filly, who hadn’t noticed the captain’s…behavior.
“So my Full Royal Petition is this: That you, as princesses of this land, take a vacation at least once a month, to go out and have fun. Run outside, tell stories, do hoofpainting, or, or, or something.”
The yellow furred filly collapsed on the ground, suddenly out of breath. “Anyways, that’s my request.” Behind her, the captain stood up, and snapped to attention, as though the break in protocol had never happened.
The three princesses looked at each other. A series of nods went around.
“Sunny Joy, we, the three Princesses of Equestria, have heard your Full Royal Petition. We have agreed to it. Let it be known that from this day forth, every seventh day of a month shall be a royal break for the princesses, barring a national emergency. So mote it be.”
For once, Princess Celestia’s voice carried the authority she wielded. It was as if a great power had entered the room, only to leave. Everypony stood straighter, prouder.
“Wait…today’s the seventh! That is so cool. I have to show you to Miss Belle. Come on, follow me!” The filly turned around, and started to strut out of the throne room. Strut!
Laughing, Princesses Luna and Celestia followed. Princess Twilight, the Princess of Magic, simply teleported next to the unicorn filly. Formerly hidden servants darted about, trying to account for the sudden change in the schedule. “So Miss Belle has been telling stories about me? Did she ever tell you any stories about herself? Say, the love potion incident? No…well let me tell you what happened…”
This story is brilliant! Bravo!
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This was very cute
I was laughing so much, it hurt. This is short but funny. I Iike it! Keep up the good work!
is she related to pinkie pie?
That was adorable and funny. Good job!
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Oh, this should be featured! Amazing, brilliant comedy from the mouth of babes!
Great story!
Quite nicely done.
This is awesome! You should do a few side episodes about what the Princesses do on their days off!
PLEASE?
OOHOHOOHHHH MYY GAHAHAHAAAD!
I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING!
This is hilarious, heartwarming, and some other thing beginning with an H.
You have succeeded in making me die of laughter.
*on
*Now
And so, the seventh day of the month came to be known as: "Royal Hoofpainting Day," and many colorful pictures were made on those days from then on.
Well that was... nice.
I love crotchety old Diamond Tiara. I want someone's Frisbee to end up on her lawn.
Offscreen, Sunny Joy's parents collapse from nerves.
Seriously, how well would any parent take their kid calling out the all-powerful God Empresses of Equestria? The royal smelling salts would be needed, methinks.
M-my chest, my chest, it hurts!
From the mouths of fillies comes the most laughter, my friend.
4243892
Thank you for the corrections. I really do appreciate it when people like you point out my mistakes.
4244443
Actually, they have no idea what is going on in the room. Part of Full Royal Petition is that only the petitioner is allowed to speak with the Princesses. Her parents are aware that she is petitioning, and are waiting outside in a guest room.
4242897
Sorry, that isn't going to happen. Well probably not...maybe later when I get my other ideas out...
4245842
*sighs over-dramatically*
Fine.... Be that way... I see how you are...
P.S. Is that a Supreme Commander fanart profile pic?
4245989
Heck no.
StarCraft 2 Protoss Immortal tanking tank fire. Like a boss.
In all seriousness though, I hadn't really given any thought to some shorts on the Princesses holidays. I have other plans, but may get to that at some point.
4245842
In that case, when the doors open and they all walk out, her parents are probably apologizing for their daughter wasting the princess' time...
A very nicely thought out 1000+ word punchline, and very cute to boot.
Only one issue, the double-spacing, it tends to distract a reader's eye, so you may want to switch to single-space usage.
Wait, what about Cadance? Did she give up her princess hood Or something?
4248276
Nope, she's busy ruling the Crystal Empire
Oh sweet Princess that was adorable! Have some Mane 6 + CMC + Spike
The Applebloom is because it's also kinda sad.
You spelt reigning incorrectly.
4248561
Err....reigning is not even in the story...or the description...I can't misspell a word I didn't write...are you thinking of something else?
4248595
It's in the short description.
If you can't remember what you've written, I'm slightly worried.
4248621
Oh
I feel sheepish now
Will fix.
I believe we have found the bearer of laughter of this generation
Good times, man. Good times.
Your portrayal of a child's way of thinking is magnificant. I got more than a few laughs out of this.
Well, yes. Note how it ends in a period, rather than a question mark, and how it declares the speaker's belief that there is a problem or request rather than asking the listener whether there is one.[/mode]
I loved the story!
Well! This is a clever idea, and a good start!
She's good.
Well I see SOME things never change
Ooh, payback! Nice to see Sweetie and Twilight remember each other personally
>>>She had fought and defeated a cult of Sombra worshippers>>> Which wasn't too hard since all they did was run around growling about crystals and banging their heads into walls...
>>>discovered a changeling plot,>>> Dat plot...
I think her mother meant butt, not plot
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