• Published 16th Apr 2014
  • 4,028 Views, 103 Comments

Your Resident Insane Doctor - The_Machinist

Nein! Who would have thought that the staff was capable of inter-dimensional travel?! I digress... I did not trust these ponies, nor will I ever, not after Celestia's... Reaction...

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Author's Note:

I stopped writing for a bit to regain my thoughts. I was half finished with this chapter, and i just finished the last half within the past hour. You may notice that my writing just jumped up in quality, but went into the dark pits of emotion... I started listening to Comfortably Numb by pink floyd. Here. Have some fun and listen to this while reading this chapter.

(Richtofen’s POV Present Day)

So I guess I had picked the right spot to land in. I only think that because I had apparently landed smack dab in the middle of a concrete floor. I held in painful screams as my knees came into contact with the concrete, only to shout in anger when the staff hit the side of my head. So I was knocked onto my side looking around the darkened area, I knew where I was, it was just a matter of knowing whether anything got loose, and whether or not it rotted enough to not do any harm.

I stood up, using my staff as an extra leg of support, and looked around at the black abyss. I spotted a heavily rusted metallic box on the wall next to me. Lucky me to land next to the breaker box, eh? As this was the land of ponies where logic was flawed to hell, I decided to shoot a bolt of lightning at it. What do you know? All the lights flickered on and the tesla coils buzzed in excitement as their master had returned. Yet the poor little Jacob’s Ladder sat so lonely in the corner. I almost felt bad for its uselessness.

Nothing seemed out of place in the main area of my humble abode. Well, apart from the rested pieces of metal hanging everywhichway and arcs of electricity coming from uncovered wires. Oh yeah, and there was a fork stuck in the wall for some reason. That didn’t bother me in the slightest; I usually liked my forks stuck in walls.

I walked out of the main laboratory and into the animation testing room, where red lights dangled from the concrete ceiling. No, this was not a room for watching animations, this was a room for animating dead things, and by dead things I meant dead ponies. Unfortunately for me, the tubes that lined the sides of the room were full of rotted mush. Apart from one such tube…

(Richtofen’s POV 1,000 Years Ago)

Sitting in a bunker trying to avoid ponies is possibly the best option for me at this point, so what if I caused Celestia’s sister to turn into Nightmare Moon? So what if I slapped her on the ass, because it was damn fine. I’m pretty glad I installed titanium vault doors like the ones from the fallout series. They helped a megaton! You don’t get the joke? Fuck you. Anyways, Sun-Butt and her army of sun-drones were currently trying to melt their way through ten vault doors. I probably should stand up and do something other than [Content Deleted. Reason: too sexual. Inputting fluffy kittens.] I probably should stand up and do something other than pet my kitten.

I stood up and made my way to Sapphire’s room, who has been living with me for the past 24 years. He was now a ripe age of 31. He appeared to stop aging after he turned seventeen though. It had something to do with element 115 and shampoo.

God damnit, why did it have to be shampoo. Shampoo can kiss my ass, although it already gets in between the crack, boy does it feel goo- “Hey Doc, how’s it going? Sun-Butt get in yet?” Oh boy, what a hoot you are Sapphire.

“Yes. She will be here VERY shortly my friend. I would suggest for you to get in the pod, lest you want to be in a dungeon of sorts for many years.” The poor stallion’s eyes widened to the size of dinner plates, implying that pony eyes weren’t already the size of plates. “I’m sure that you wouldn’t want that to happen, hmm?”

“No, not at all doc. Um, so I just go into that one tube that you showed me?” The stallion glanced nervously around the room.
“Yes, that tube that I showed you. It will preserve you for an indefinite amount of time and will remain on backup energy for thousands of years. You can thank the uranium deposit below our humble abode for that.” I clicked my tongue and placed both arms behind my back. “Go forth my friend; You don’t want queen sun-butt to find us, do you?”

Sapphire shook his head and walked out of the room at a brisk pace. I smirked at him as he walked out; I then tipped my hat and made my way to a lone wooden cabinet in the corner of the stallion’s room. Rule 1, always be prepared for any situation. Even if it is a colorful talking horse that can use magic. What better way to prepare for an alien creature attacking your home than to have a gun? If that doesn’t work, use more gun. Any problem can be solved with a gun, not a chainsaw.

In the closet lied my favorite weapon, the ray gun. A generic name really… Perhaps I should rename it to something more amazing… No time for that with Celestia on my hat. I jogged out of the room and into the laboratory, just in time to see Sapphire blink one last time before he became frozen.

(Richtofen’s POV Present Day)

I slumped to the ground next to the tube bawling my eyes out. It wasn’t possible. All that was left was bones and rotted mush inside Sapphire’s tube. Of all the people I actually loved it had to be him. He was like a son to me, and this is what I got. All thanks to Celestia not understanding and listening as to how and why I got here. The tyrannical bitch is going to die for what she did to Sapphire. She is going to feel every single prick of the scalpel as I slice through her hooves.

I could forgive Luna. She was young and naïve at the time, but Celestia went way out of line when she sent them to attack me. It had to be Sapphire. Why did he even come along? This wouldn’t have happened if he came along. I pounded on the glass tube with my fists in a mix of anger and sadness, but that would do nothing. Action had to be taken, and I had to be the one to initiate that action. No more playing parlor tricks and silly games. Richtofen and his friend, Mister Gun, are going to take this bitch down.
I felt like Pink in the music video, Comfortably Numb; Depressed and oblivious to the world around me while staring at the red lighted wall in front of me. What else could I do? I didn’t feel like crying, no, I felt like screaming at the top of my lungs, but I do not know what lurks down here. Something could be waiting to eat me, or perhaps a pony had taken up residence here. Perhaps somepony had found the entrance to my little bunker. I did build this under a settlement called Manehattan.

I feel too broken to laugh at my own jokes right now. Reminds me of how I was when I was younger, a borderline schiziophrenic loser with no friends to back me up. Never got much human interaction till I met my buddies, but even then, I did not know how to act around my fellow species. I never knew how to love my first girlfriend, or that mare I met while I was taking a walk. When I think about it… Pink and I do have a lot in common.

There is no time right now to be morose. Only time to fuck up a bitch with a tramp stamp in the shape of a sun on her ass.