Fallout Equestria: Forget

by CivilWarPony

Part Five: Everything Ends Someday

Part Five: Everything Ends Someday

Trying to recover from my wounds proved to be far harder than anything I imagined. My military training only provided the drive that fueled my determination to recover fully. I wanted to be able to fly again but in order to do that I had to walk again. Thunderlane visited me often, he had been given leave from the military to see to the recovery of his wife, and this was something that made me very happy. He would frequently visit me while I was in the process of being aided by the physical therapists that were there to help me if I fell over when I was trying to learning to walk all over again.

Despite the best efforts of the doctors to keep news of the progress of the war out of the hospital, news managed to find creep its way into the hospital like a sickening miasma. During one night, the normally quiet wing was suddenly awoken with the piercing panicked whinnies of somepony. The nurses quickly flicked on the lights and rushed to the other end of the ward. A Pegasus pony, whose name I have long forgotten had grabbed onto an empty syringe he had fished out of the contaminated garbage. Despite the nurse’s best efforts to pry the syringe away from him, this pony jammed the syringe into his neck then in a wrenching motion he slit open his own throat. I can still hear the gargled laughter of his voice as he drowned in his own blood. There was a smile that spread across his lips of the most profound relief I have ever seen anypony experience. While the doctor’s tried to conceal the details of this pony’s suicide, I did learn from a group of gossiping nurses that he suffered from P.T.S.D. and had lost his entire unit that included his brother, wife, and eldest son who were with him.

This event left everypony on the ward a bit shaken and I was transferred to another ward while the nurses cleaned up the mess. There was one piece of news about the war that I took great interest in. Rumble had quit his job at the Cloudsdale Weather Factory and was now working for Stable-Tec. As I understood it, Stable-Tec was in the process of building these massive underground bunkers for anypony to take shelter in should the worst come to pass. To me the idea seemed stupid at first, even if those ponies who did survive in these underground deathtraps what possible life could they live after everything on the surface had been wiped clean of life. But the more I heard about them, the more I became convinced it was the only way I could protect my family should what everypony feared actually become a reality. The next time Thunderlane came to visit me in the hospital; I brought up the topic with him. He was at first not very receptive to the idea. I couldn’t blame him, but after all we had experienced together on the battlefields of this war even he had to admit the situation seemed hopeless. The war wasn’t getting any better in fact it was getting worse day by day. Eventually he came around to the idea, and said he would use his connections with his estranged brother to get us a place inside one of the Stables. This made me feel at ease; at least if something happened we would have a place to go.

I am not sure what triggered the nightmares but they slowly started to happen with increasing frequency whenever I slept. There was one dream that I remember rather vividly, I was standing among a crowd of ponies who were standing on what looked like a train platform. I walked up to the nearest pony and asked them what we were waiting for. The pony turned and I was shocked to see he didn’t have a face. One by one the others turned to stare at me, they all had no faces. I tried to look at their flanks to see their cutie marks but they didn’t have any markings on their flanks. The crowd of ponies continued to look at me, even though they didn’t have faces they spoke to me. I could recognize the voices as those I had lost in the war. Aero’s and Zetes voices said why didn’t I protect them from being killed. Zetes accused me of just sitting by while he was killed while Aero angrily yelled at me for leaving him to die. I told them that if I could make them live again I would give anything to make that happen. The crowd of faceless ponies then swarmed me saying that they were going to take the life they deserved from me by force.

I shot straight up in bed with beads of sweat dripping down my face. I grabbed a glass of water off of the bedside table and poured it over my head then shook my mane from all of the excess water. I don’t know what brought on that dream but I wasn’t going to let it stop me from getting a good’s nights rest. The nurses began to notice that I wasn’t sleeping that much anymore and they prescribed to me some pills to help me sleep. While in the daytime I was advised to see a psychologist who was going to help me sort out the messed up images in my head. I hadn’t noticed I had repressed so much of what I had witnessed during the war. I knew the war had taken its toll on both myself and Thunderlane. I guess it was only a matter of time before the war warped my mind as well. Every week I went to see the psychologist and things eventually over time got somewhat better. The nightmare’s seemed to happen less frequently as I was able to share my combat experiences.

Thunderlane came to visit me one day and told me that he had been able to secure a position within one of the stables near Cloudsdale which had been built specifically for Pegasi ponies. Thunderlane also told me that his brother had apologized for the way he had been acting. Apparently Rumble had a change of heart after he came to visit me in the hospital when I was sleeping. He saw how bad my injuries were and decided that if somepony was willing to sacrifice their very life to defend the way he lived then he was an idiot for questioning the bravery of his brother for volunteering to fight on his behalf. Rumble then appeared behind his brother and approached my bed. He hung his head then looks at me saying that he was sorry for the way he had behaved if I could find it in my heart to forgive the way he acted. I punched him and he fell over, after he stood up I said that now I could forgive him. Rumble nodded and spit out a few of his front teeth. Thunderlane called for a nurse to take a look at his brother while he spoke with me in private. He told me that he had heard some disturbing rumors about how the Zebras were infiltrating major cities in Equestria but for what reason he didn’t say and that there had been signs of activity at their megaspell launch sites. Both of these rumors greatly disturbed me, why would the Zebras possibly want to use their most powerful megaspells?

I asked him how he came across this information. Apparently somepony in the Equestrian Government had opened their mouth about it. Regardless of how this information was leaked it confirmed that nowhere was safe if the Zebras could penetrate this far into Equestria. After they left the hospital, I wheeled myself down the hall and took the elevator down to the garden outside of the hospital. Rolling myself down the ramp I stopped by a large tree and watched the sunset. The hospital was able to grow plants because a group of Unicorns had used their magic to make it possible to grow things on a cloud. I had never really bothered to watch a sunset before, funny I have spent most of my life flying through the sky but had never once watched the sun rise or set. I was rather pretty and made me forget that there was a war that raged below me. I guess it is nice to put aside one’s problems to enjoy the simple things in life.

The next day I was able to walk on my own for the first time without assistance. It was one step closer that I had taken to getting back to normal. My wings however were a different story; they had taken a lot of damage and despite Fancy Pants fixing some of the worst of the damage they still wouldn’t function as they were supposed to. I couldn’t understand why my wings refused to work for me. I had numerous tests and scans that attempted to find the damage but none of the doctors had an explanation for me. Maybe it was something mental instead of any physical damage my body had sustained. I wasn’t really sure but I don’t know what I would do if I couldn’t fly again. Flying is something special for every Pegasus. It is deeply a part of our lives and we spend most of our lives doing it. I wanted to be able to fly again but I was beginning to think that I would never get the chance. Thunderlane did the best he could to try and cheer me up. He would bring me books about Wonderbolt’s in the past and it did fuel my drive to fly again. I started a daily routine of doing wingup’s and tried to build up my wing strength back to what it had been before the war.

For some time I kept up this routine until I felt something tear in my back. I rolled around on the floor screaming loudly. I had never felt so much pain before in my life. Even my wounds that I had received in the Crystal Empire didn’t hurt as much as this. I felt like my body was being sheered in half right down the middle. The nurses tried to place me on a bed but I began to spasm all over the floor. I must have passed out after this because when I awoke, I was back in my bed with Thunderlane looking worried at me. My body throbbed from my head to my hooves, and my wings were numb. I looked at him and asked what had happened. He told me that the nerves in my wings had been badly damaged and that because I was working on getting them better I had aggravated my already shot nerves. I couldn’t understand why my body felt this way; it was like it didn’t want me to get better. I tried to get up out of bed and do more wing-ups. My back shot hot pokers of pain like lightning bolts that sprang through my already messed up nervous system. I grabbed my back and began rolling on the floor screaming in pain again, but I was determined not to let some injury keep me from doing what I wanted to do, so I tried to get my hooves underneath me so I could stand but the strain caused me to fall flat on my face as the world was consumed by darkness as I passed out.

I was floating through an ocean, the cold water washing over my body as I floated in etheric darkness. I wasn’t sure where I was or even who I was. There was a small light above me the shined brightly, at first I thought it was the Moon but as I saw the images flash across its surface I wondered who’s memories I was watching play like a movie. They were memories that seemed vaguely familiar but I couldn’t put names to the faces of the ponies I saw. Then in a flash I was no longer drifting in the ocean, instead I was back in the hospital looking down at a strange scene. I was hovering over what appeared to be a group of doctors desperately trying to save the life of the pony they were working on. She was a young Pegasus pony who had a turquoise colored coat and whose mane and tail were amber in color. Her eyes had rolled back into her head as her tongue lolled out of her mouth. The doctors were attempting to give her CPR while a charcoal grey Pegasus nearby watched on in horror screaming the name of the Pegasus sprawled in the bed. I could feel a throbbing sensation that vibrated through my entire being; this odd feeling was accompanied by the sound of a heartbeat.

The sound was growing weaker with each beat, I didn’t know what this meant but whoever was in the bed below me wasn’t going to make it. Seeing the dying Pegasus’s cutie mark sparked something in my mind. I knew who this pony was, in fact I knew everything about this pony right down to the most intimate detail, and I just couldn’t remember her name. The charcoal grey Pegasus’s cries became panicked whinnies as he screamed at the pony in the bed for whom he clearly cared for. The sound of the heartbeat grew even fainter and I was beginning to feel like a large weight was being lifted off of me. But the look of sadness on the charcoal Pegasus’s face made me want comfort him for some reason that I couldn’t understand. Turning to look at the dying body, it began to dawn on me that this pony may in fact be me and whatever form that was hovering above wasn’t supposed to be out of my body. I desperately tried to reconnect with the dying Pegasus in the bed but found my efforts were utterly useless until I saw something that I thought I would never see. These two alicorn’s approached me as I floated over my failing body. The tallest of the two whose name I could remember as Celestia, her horn was glowing with a golden aura. The aura stretched down to my body then over to me. The physical form below me responded to the magic and I watched as she blinked gazing up at me. I don’t think any of the other ponies noticed me staring up at the ceiling at something none of them could see. There were unspoken words that passed between us through the very air itself. These messages left a clear impression on what was said. My body didn’t want to die, it needed me as much as I needed it.

My connection to my body was fading fast as another garbled wave of memories, sensations, and feelings passed between us again. My body was dying, I could feel the fear that radiated off of me and it scared me to think that I was about to lose my own life. The memories that filled my head were of my husband, the frantic Pegasus next to me who’s name I could now remember as Thunderlane but there was more too it. I could also feel the love I had for him and my own son Noctilfire. It made my heart swell with pride that I held such devotion for these ponies. One of the Princesses that I knew to be Luna spoke to me saying that time was running short I had to make a choice. I could either abandon my life along with my body and move on or fight for the life that was quickly slipping away from me. When I asked where I would be moving onto Luna refused to elaborate more. When I asked how did this happen to me, Princess Celestia told me that it was an old Zebra spell of the blackest magic that had lain dormant inside of me like a ticking time bomb. This explained why no matter how much I worked at getting better the evil spell prevented me from recovering fully and now the spell had entered its final stage as it was about to kill me.

One final wave of pleading messages passed between my soul and my body looking down at myself I noticed my eyes had changed. They softened and began to fill with all of the fear I was feeling as tears streaked down the sides of my cheeks soaking the pillow my head rested upon. I watched as my ears slowly drooped then lay flat against my head, my body raised my left hoof upwards and held it aloft pointing directly at me as an imploring gesture for my soul to return to it. None of the other ponies working on my body seemed to notice and I figured that this scene wasn't for them, it was about me, and only me. My eyes spoke of how desperately my body desired to live. In that moment I felt everything so intensely, I can scarcely form this feeling into words. I felt all of my emotions and memories wrapped into a tight bundle that closed around me. Gazing down into my own eyes I saw that they were begging me to come back, and I knew to refuse this meant I would never see my family again. As the lids of my eyes began to close all the while my gaze was fixated on me, the sound of my own dying heart echoed in my ears. I knew now what choice I had to make and so I made it. Floating down to my body, I gently grasped my ghostly hooves around the raised forehoof of my body and then I was gently whisked back into my body. I felt pleasently warm as I settled into the comforting weight of my own body again. I took this to mean that my body approved of the choice I had made. The doctors who just know noticed that my eyes were open looked confused. One of them said that my vitals were returning to normal. All of the pain I had felt was gone. The crowd of doctors and nurses slowly dispersed with only a few remaining beside me. Thunderlane pounced onto me and tightly squeezed me. As he buried his muzzle into my neck he said that he was worried that he was going to lose me. When he asked what had happened to me I said I would tell him later but for now I was tired and needed some rest. I silently thanked the Princesses for bringing me back to be with my family, I don’t think I could have made it without their help. As I closed my eyes I felt Thunderlane climb into the bed next to me. The attending nurse allowed him to spend the night with me and I slept soundly without the interference of any more near death experiences and nightmares brought on by dark magic.

The day after this was to be the last day of my life. What happened on that day is something I will never forget. Thunderlane had to leave the next day as his unit was being stationed in Manehattan, he promised to come and visit me as soon as possible. He had left our son with his brother who had suddenly become our child’s favorite uncle. The day was particularly fine as I recall, after my brush with Death the nurses had taken another batch of tests and determined that my wings were strong enough for me to begin to use them again, how this was possible they couldn’t say but it didn’t matter to me. They went onto say that I could go home within a few weeks during which time they would observe me to make sure that I hadn’t injured myself when I was rolling around on the floor the previous day. I had been given the latest copy of Daring Do by one of the nurses who knew that I was a big fan of the book series after I had briefly spoken with her before. I started to read the book when from outside there was a brilliant flash that caught my attention. The air pressure seemed to change as the glass on the windows shattered sending large slices of glass flying across the room impaling some of the nurses and patients. There was something wrong with the air, it surged and pulsed with such ferocity but then my body started to feel like it was on fire. Every part of my body was scorched and I screamed my lungs out as the pain spread throughout my body but then I didn’t hurt anymore. The extreme heat had seared my nerve endings. I could smell my own flesh and feathers as I was being cooked alive. Then I thought back to what Thunderlane had said about the Zebra activity at their launch sites but then my mind changed to concern for Thunderlane. Was he caught in a similar attack and what about my son? Would he die because of this? I wanted to find him and get him into a Stable but I my vision was fading then the world disappeared and I disappeared with it.

Afterwards the first thing I knew was that I was lying on some sort of surface. It was neither hard nor soft it simply had appeared beneath me. Opening my eyes everything was bright and the only word I could use to describe this location was that everything was White. I no longer smelled like burning flesh and because I could feel my nerves if I had any were working just fine. Standing up on what I assumed were my own hooves I took stock of my surroundings. The White stretched all around, there were no discernable contours to the space I found myself in. I wasn’t entirely sure where I was but I knew I had changed somehow. I felt lighter and looking down at my hooves there seemed to be a faint shimmering light that radiated off of my own body. Ahead apart of the White had slid open and through the space beamed a bright Light. I drew me forward into it and then my surroundings changed from a vague White space to a sun swept field. I noticed that around me wandered other ponies who seemed just as confused as I was. I sat down on my haunches trying to think of what this place reminded me of but I couldn’t think of any place I had seen or been to that reminded me of this place. Next to me in the air appeared a shimmering shape that slowly took the form of Thunderlane. He landed next to me with a thud and staggered around trying to understand where he was.

When he saw me he quickly galloped up to me and asked where were we. I replied that I had no idea where we were then I asked what was the last thing he could remember. Thunderlane thought about it for a few minutes then replied that he was in Manehattan when suddenly he saw a flash then a huge mushroom shape cloud that appeared over the city’s skyline then he felt really hot then after that nothing. I told him I was in Cloudsdale reading when I saw the same flash then I was in a huge White space afterwards. Thunderlane said he too had been in the same space that I had described but I don’t recall seeing him or any pony for that matter. As the both of us explored this field I began to see familiar faces waving to me. When I rushed over to them I saw Zetes, Aero, and all the ponies I had once commanded in the Crystal Empire. When I asked where we were they replied that they couldn’t say. When I realized I was talking to a group of dead ponies I recoiled and backed away from them. I thought I was dreaming them and that I they weren’t really standing before me. Zetes assured me that they were very much real and that I wasn’t dreaming.

A strange question then formed itself in my mind and I as was about to ask it. Aero said to me, “Geez Nails, you haven’t figured it out yet? Your dead just like us.” When he said the words your dead, it wasn’t something that everypony is prepared to hear but somehow I knew he was speaking the truth. It was then that I noticed each of them shimmering in what I guessed to be sunlight. Their coats radiated the same odd light that mine was also giving off. When I asked them why we were here, they replied that this was just the beginning of something far greater. This Place, wherever it was so much bigger than I could image. Behind my comrades appeared others I hadn’t seen in a long time. Both my mother and father were standing there, they said that they had come to escort me to a place they only described as Home. When I noticed that my son wasn’t with me I asked my parents were was he. They replied that he was not here because he hadn’t died. This gave me some relief that Rumble had taken my son into one of the Stables before the worst had happened. My son was alive and that was all that mattered to me. My parents told me that I would see him again when it was his time to come here but for now they had something to show me. They led Thunderlane and I through a forest and when we emerged on the other side, let’s just say maybe being dead wasn’t going to be so bad after all.

I cannot say how long I have been waiting here for my son to come to me. Time is a funny concept to those who have crossed over to this Place. But we can see through those who have survived us what their lives have been like. I watched my son grow into a fine stallion, his life wasn’t always filled with happiness but seemed more often than not it was filled with sadness. Noctilfire eventually married and had a daughter. I wish I could have been for there to see my granddaughter’s first steps and celebrate her first birthday together, but these things could never be. Equestria had changed since The Last Day, it wasn’t a land filled with beauty but instead had become a twisted version of itself. Ponies lived, died, and struggled just to survive. In those early days so many came here after just giving up hope and thus their hold on life others shambled around as a undead but as a living mockery of the ponies they had once been. Others who had died refused to acknowledge this fact and wandered the wastes trying to connect with anything that made them feel alive again. Cloudsdale was gone, my home for so long didn’t exist anymore. There were so many other cities that had been turned into radioactive ruins when the bombs went off. Even glorious Canterlot had been turned into a nightmare straight from the depths of Tartarus.

Rumble eventually joined us here in this Place, he told us of what had become of our beloved Equestria and those who still walked upon its soil. Eventually after a long time my son Noctilfire joined us. At first he didn’t recognize me, it had been so long since he had seen me he had nearly forgotten about me. But slowly he remembered who I was and told me how much he had missed me as well as his father. He said that the remaining Pegasi who had survived the magical holocaust caused by the balefire bombs had formed into the Grand Pegasus Enclave. Those who knew that my son had been born from Lightning Dust had picked on him throughout his life, this harassment also extended to my granddaughter when she became old enough. This wasn’t exactly the legacy I had intended for my family. I had tried so hard to make amends with the ponies I had hurt and tried to redeem myself with every life I had saved but in the end my shame was a shadow I couldn’t out run and now my grandchildren would forever bear that shame. I watched as countless generations of my family lived and died with the burden I had placed unwittingly upon their shoulders. It broke my heart to know that there was nothing I could do but merely observe as they struggled to define their own identities separate from the one the overall arching identity that they became associated with. They were Lightning Dust’s descendants, my family, and my blood. There was nothing they could do to escape that fact. So now I wait for somepony in bound to my bloodline to redeem my family’s good name. Thunderlane says that there will come a day when the name Lightning Dust won’t be a badge of shame for my family but instead as something to be honored. I am not so sure, in life I was never able to apologize to the one pony who had been the cause of why I tried so hard to push myself to make a change for the better. Any opportunity to do this in Death had eluded me yet again. Rainbow Dash never appeared here like a few of her friends did. She is lost to them as much as she is to me.

Wherever she is I want her to know how deeply and profoundly sorry I am. If she could ever forgive the way I acted I could rest easy knowing that at least all that time I spent trying to make a difference in not only my life but in the lives of those ponies I came to know wasn’t in vain. Perhaps one day I will see her again but not yet. Not while my family walks with the disgrace of an event they weren’t responsible for creating. My expulsion from the Wonderbolt Academy it seems will haunt me in death as it did in life. My family is chained by this legacy and there is nothing I can do to stop it. My name was Lightning Dust, and this is was my life. Take whatever lessons you can find here, if I might make one suggestion though it is never do anything to others you aren’t prepared to regret for the rest of your life and afterlife. For now I must wait for that day when my good name will be redeemed. I hope that this day will come soon, an eternity in regret is no way to live.

The End.

Author's Note:

The Fifth and Final part of my story. I hoped you have enjoyed this journey through the psyche of Lightning Dust. I did my best to convey her conflicted feelings as she watched her world in Equestria fall apart because of the twisted atmosphere of The Great War. Please let me know what you think and don't forget to give a thumbs up!!!

Fallout copyrighted to Bethesda Softworks

My Little Pony Friendship is Magic copyrighted to Hasbro Inc.

Fallout Equestria copyrighted to Kkat.

All other characters are copyrighted to me.

Comments

[CivilWarPony]

4254570
Thanks for reading it Interloper! I am glad you liked it!

[DerpyDaringDitzyDoo]

Thanks for adding your story to the Fallout Equestria Group! Feel free to PM me if you have any questions!

[Kkat]

Congratulations!

[CivilWarPony]

4265678
O.o
Kkat commented on my story!! *rubs eyes and pinches self* I am not dreaming! Sweet! Thanks for commenting on my story Kkat! It is a real honor!

[Deathpony]

very good so far

[CivilWarPony]

4325972
I am glad you enjoyed the story. Thanks for the fave and the comment Deathpony!

[AlmanacP]

Your book has been advertised on the new facebook group page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/foebooks/ :)

[CivilWarPony]

6533773
Oh? Thanks!

[AlmanacP]

6535217 np! if you have facebook, check us out sometime. :) join the growing community.

[PresentPerfect]

I like the disconnected nebulosity of the OOBE sequence. Not sure you can slit your throat with a syringe, though.