• Member Since 22nd Aug, 2012
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Violet Runner


A brony that is into Steampunk

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Comments ( 8 )

This was great. I love this concept! It flows well with the show, and makes a lot of sense. I always like stories that give their own spin to the creation of Equestria. Let me just add this to my headcanon too! :raritystarry:

Love it! Love everything about it!

what else can I say, other than this way amazing

... long before the rain of Celestia and Luna,...

Reign.

... and well she slept[missing comma] Chaos created the sun

While

... Discord[missing comma] however[missing comma] saw himself as Chaos’s heir[missing comma] thus understood the need for balance[missing comma] and did not share his brother’s and sister’s hate for the world, though he wouldn’t mind making a few changes....

I think Discord would've been the perfect candidate for the creator of the wild mish-mashed animals, such as chimeras, manticores, and even that "Bugbear" thing in S5E9.
Also: Brothers' and Sisters'

... When Night heard what he had done she was ferrous...

Furious

... First he visited the strongest of the Titans, Magma and Frost[missing comma] knowing that they would be the hardest to beat....

... Seeing their brother as a great asset[missing comma] they both agreed[missing comma] and started fighting each other[missing comma] both doing significant damage. After a day of fighting[missing comma] Magma call his children[missing comma] the Dragons to help him, Frost doing the same with the Windigos. However[missing comma] Discord had tricked both the Dragons and the Windigos into fighting against their masters beforehand[missing comma] and the two Titans soon fell at the hands of their own creations....

Called, and [period]

... With Magma and Frost out of the way[missing comma] Chaos and Night combined their powers together and created Faust,...

To create

This is a great story, I love every part of it, but the only thing that got me was the punctuation and grammar, I know there are more typos than I stated, but I was just too lazy to point out each and every one of them. So kudos to you Sir or Madam! Well done!

6105452 Fixed.

Also I already stated that Shadow had created the monsters.

6106470 oh, ok. I thought you meant "dark" looking monsters like the Ursas, and possibly other Constellation-based monsters of that sort :applejackunsure:

Wow, three years, six months, and 15 days without a single dislike.

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