In a post-apocalyptic wasteland, four men (or 2 men, 1 cyborg, and 1 woman) traveled together. Dr. Alexander Gromov (aka. Engineer), a scientist before the final war of humanity who created the ANNET system; fear and logic fuel the man behind the golden goggles and fur lined coat. Charles Snippy (aka. Snippy), a tour guide before the war and one of the few people incompatible with the ANNET system; he now deals with his depressing life behind his blue goggles and sports jacket by complaining. DEX-M cyborg (aka. Pilot), part of a series of cyborgs build with organic parts to better blend with their human targets, Pilot was a fighter pilot at some point and is probably considered mentally insane by all health professionals. The hallucination-prone man holds a deep infatuation for their leader underneath his leather jacket and green-goggled pilot helmet. Their leader, The Captain. Insane and dangerous, this man (or woman) is the luckiest person on Earth and also responsible for spilling hot coffee on ANNET’s servers and causing her to kill or reprogram everyone. Captain’s trench coat and officer hat is highlighted with a red band, and his gasmask’s purple goggles shine like the sun.
All is going normal when a wild portal appears... where does it go, what will happen you may ask. I don't know yet, I haven't planned that far ahead yet.
A crossover between Romantically Apocalyptic and My Little Pony. I own neither of them.
Find the story of Romantically Apocalyptic here. http://romanticallyapocalyptic.com/0
Dedicated to L.o.H.A.V.
First story, lets see how it goes.
Odd, but interesting
4342254 I was more or less hoping for that reaction.
Love the idea of a Romantically Apocalyptic crossover.
Apologies if thethe following is a bit messy. I'm typing from a phone.
On the plus side, your grammar didn't send me fleeing, but your paragraphs are telling a lot of info very quickly, they're redundant in places, and your doing quite a bit of telling the reader what's going on but not showing (kinda hard to explain, you might want to look this up).
Also you jump right in to stuff like Snippy's scarf with no details as to what it really is or its purpose. Basically anyone who had not read RA will be hopelessly lost. Hopefully you can address stuff like this soon.
You got the humor of RA dead on, however.
I look forward to more.
4344500 Don't get me wrong, This is actually really interesting
static.squarespace.com/static/51aae414e4b013f5da4a816c/t/53345e72e4b09fffc70d3444/1395940979168/
Looking at this more, I think you may want to see if you can condense your description down to like a half or third or maybe even a fifth its size.
I jumped right into the story since I know the setting quite well, but most readers potential readers will probably bail long before they hit the end of that information deluge.
Try to condense it to what's important and let little details like Zee Captain spilling TEA (Zee Captain drinks tea and that's what (s)he spilled on Annet ) go. They're not really important for the premise of Post-Apocalyptic survivors wander into the magic land of Equestria. It's the sort of thing you explain in the story if it comes up (Engie could always use it as an example of how Zee Captain is trouble, or what have you).
4346311 Thanks for the input, I'll try to make the next chapter better
4345019 Sweet... Now what do I do with this attention?
4346492
No problem! Like I said, you have a good handle on the RA characters and their humor and I really like the idea of a crossover with ponies. Keep it up!
4346492 Keep writing the epic stuff is the best way to go
MORE PLZ
Here's something to think about.
Pilot (who's full name is Christopher something) is actually an dex PI (private investigator).
His face was blown off by a pineapple bomb that was in a pink van rented by Charles Snippy.
Later on after these incidents Pilot was then taken to a dex repair facility and that was how he most likely became a pilot before all hell went lose on earth.
You can find out more by reading the data logs in the bottom of the scenes.
Also Kittyhawk was his adviser when he was still a PI and Kittyhawk was the one who gave him the nickname PI.