First of all, I'd like to be hired as your personal critique, I'm hired? Good.
Now, I saw this pop up and decided 'hey! I'll read it!' So I did.
Great storyline, I like the name 'Dante Quicksilver' Sounds like an assassin to me.
You are the perfect person to describe parkour! I've never seen it done better.
The only thing I noticed that was wrong, when someone is shouting *unless it's pinkie * you want to keep it lower case and civilized.
"Hey, you!"
compared to
"HEY, YOU!!"
See?
Overall, I LOVE the story, you get a like

4229630 Thanks! Love your critique! It's really helping!
I'M...LEARNING!!!

4229647 YUSSSSSSSSSS

4229630 Would you like to know the original idea for his name?

4229717 Yuss! Was it DMC reference?

4229720 His original name idea was Silent Shadow.

4229724 Oooo...oooh

4229724 mmm yum yum

Apple Buck:

Twilight was reading a book, laying down on the bench with her legs crossed and in the air.

As Fluttershy would say Oh my

Scootaloo:

"Well, Dante Quicksilver; did you get the bits?" Dante, the apparent name for this thief/main focus of the story,

So, breaking the forth wall already.

Shining Belle:
So, Dante Quicksilver has a geass?