As Diamond Tiara walks to Sweet Apple Acres in order to confront her feelings she reflects on how it's not her fault that her classmates hate her, it is them who are the meanies, and it's the teacher fault, for being unfair and grounding her for playing with her classmates. And now Apple Bloom is claiming she bullies her? That's madness!
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Is it that time already? Damn the feels train came into the station early.
Hmm. This could be an interesting story, but the word choice can be improved quite a bit and it suffers a bit from running-on sentences. Not to mention that the sentences can be a bit clunky anyway. If you can get a pre-reader willing to invest some time and polish it quite a bit it would help the story stand out a lot more I think.
4217254 Thank you for the opinion, do you know where I could get one if I wanted to? Thank you.
4217696
Plenty of groups on fimfiction in which you can ask for a pre-reader. I am in Author Support myself, which I assume would be one of those.
This can't really be complete, can it?
4218579 Well, seeing as Diamond Tiara antagonized her during years and years, I think Apple Bloom is not too keen on dating her, but maybe I will write a sequel, perhaps, I don't have plans, but who knows.
It was a nice read, but I think you should refer it to a pre-reader, needs some touching up.
Poor Diamond.
Not my favorite ship, but it work too
A part of my feel compassion whit DT
The other part say KILL SHE WHIT FIRE n' stuff.
Well...
Awesome, i'm waiting for more
Dammit, i think that this was a serie...
Yayyy, my favorite ship.
Seems a bit too self-aware for a story that uses "Delusional" as its title. I liked a lot of what Diamond said in her inner monologues, but I feel like the narration undercuts these parts. I would love to see a version of this story that sticks to Diamond's perspective, and makes her less transparently sympathetic.