• Member Since 11th Jul, 2013
  • offline last seen May 3rd

ThatOneWriter


I dunno if I can be your favorite, but if you like my writing, that's pretty good in my book.

E
Source

It's Twilight's first date with her new marefriend. After consulting Dating for Dummies, she decides it would be best if she personally cooked them dinner.

There's just one problem: Twilight can't cook. At all. But a cookbook and a bit of improvisation should be enough to make up for that, right?


A personal thank you to Flint Sparks for pre-reading, as well as to the people on the Twilight's Library Skype chat. A few discussions were had about culinary failings, which inspired the dishes in this story.

Now part of Twilight's Library!

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 35 )

Must read!

That picture: Feed me Seymour!

Nothin' better than a little squishy Twishy. :yay::twilightsmile:

Aw, you didn't include the bicarb mud cake? :applecry:

But that was such a good idea...

Eh, just kidding. :twilightsmile:

This was very enjoyable to read, funny in a sort of sadistic way.

D'awww...

That was adorable. Also, you can use red wine vinegar as a substitution but it has to be diluted by water and/or grape juice.

4203416
Yessir. Also, you pretty much sniped this story's release. I got a notification of your comment at almost exactly the same time as the notification that it was published.

4203429
Heh, I was thinking more along the lines of piranha plants from Mario. It is a bit similar to Audrey II now that I think about it.

4203444
Glad you liked it. :twilightsmile:

4203488
You know it! :yay:

4203539
I seriously considered your ideas, but the ways I made them happen felt too contrived. I probably overthought them, especially with the false chanterelle soup. As for the cake, I thought it'd make a funnier and more satisfying ending the way I had it. Some may agree, some may disagree. Such is the nature of comedy.

4203740
I did not know that. Consequently, neither did Twilight. Actually, before talking to Dreamingnoctis, I thought the two were interchangeable. I am really not that good of a cook.

Too cute. Now I picture Twilight taking tons of notes while watching Fluttershy cook for their next date.

4207844
She'd probably do that, wouldn't she? :rainbowlaugh:

Considering that Fluttershy takes care of dozens of animals, I'd imagine she's very good at preparing food. She's probably not a bad teacher to have, unless she can only make food for animals.

Hm. That might be a half-decent sequel. I don't know if I'd ever write it though.

4207865 Even if you don't write a sequel, I'm just glad to have read this story. :twilightsmile: :heart: :yay:

4207950
Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it!

No harm in trying, Twilight. It made me laugh that the one dish she managed to get right was the one they didn't eat. :yay:

4208388
Good. It was supposed to. :moustache:

Ah, the classic this couldn't possibly go wrong :pinkiehappy:. Nice and easy read, and I really liked the ending. I think you could have explored a few of the scenes a bit more in a few places, and maybe had a bit more character interaction, seeing as the story was fairly short, but then again it's a nice and simple premise, so maybe quick progression is called for.

It's nice to see that you managed to actually get something finalized enough that you felt comfortable publishing it. I know you've been struggling with that for a little while now.

(I have the same problem, if you'll believe it. I think I've written more stuff than I've considered publishing at this point, which is rather silly really :unsuresweetie:)

4208775
Hey! Nice to see you around again!

I actually expected this one to stretch out to 4 or 5k when I started this, but then it stalled. About two-thirds of this was written in one long, five hour burst. I just wrote what felt right, and I went with it. Had I planned it out more, I may have had more interaction, but... C'est la vie. I was honestly more concerned about the humor and the romance, which seem to have hit the mark. I'm pretty happy with this one. :twilightsmile:

Well at least the cookies wear good, for a dragon. :twilightblush:
Funny sweet and enjoyable, good job. :raritywink:
~Tobben

Have to admit i loled :rainbowlaugh: very nice story. i like that it was a bit shorter, easy to work into a short break, but very adorable and relatable (who hasn't had everything go horribly wrong at one point or other). Its stories like this that made me want to write my own :twilightsmile:

4211687
Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

4214652
Well, laughing is the point of a comedy :raritywink: And I'd encourage you to try writing. It's tons of fun to write stories like this one, even despite the work that needs to be put in.

4215497 Tell me about it!, just finished mine, though it still needs to be proof read and formatted a bit better i think. I takes a lot to make me laugh out loud, believe me!

4215531
Well, I'm glad it was funny enough to make you laugh. It's always nice to hear such positive feedback!

i.imgur.com/6MrWqNZ.png

Btw, did you actually make the stew with the vinegar? The description sounded like you had tasted it before :pinkiesick:

4232671 Unfortunately, it's a more common experience than you'd think. Not the author, but in my case I mixed red wine vinegar with red grape juice to try to make sort-of red wine. Too much vinegar.

4232671
Actually, I didn't, though it wouldn't be surprising if I did. (I am not a good cook. :pinkiesick:) That particular bit was brought to you by the combined powers of internet research and imagination. To my memory, I've never had red wine vinegar, though I'm told it's like a fruitier-tasting vinegar. The mixture of that and spices sounds very unpleasant to me.

4232792
That also sounds unpleasant.

A really nice and sweet story that made me smile and laugh. Ah it reminds me so much of one of my best friends and what they're culinary skills are like This is a defo keeper for the favourites.

-Frost :pinkiesmile:

4279664
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it! :pinkiesmile:

TWILIGHT, YOU DON'T PUT METAL IN A MICROWAZE:facehoof:. This story had me laughing all the time that I was reading it. :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh: The only thing Twilight got right was the cookies and her and Fluttershy didn't even get to eat them. :rainbowlaugh: This is what I think'll happen once Twilight and Fluttershy are done with their date. Twilight: Oh, I forgot that I made some cookies. Would you like to try them. Fluttershy: Yes, please. Twilight: *opens door* Thank you, after the meal I tried to make, I think that is the only thing that I-*notices Spike with an empty cookie tray* Celestia damn it. Spike: What? They were delicious. :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

4332823
Glad you enjoyed the story! :twilightsmile:

But did the cookies really turn out to be good?
I remember what Spike found to be tasty at the end of "Applebuck Season." :pinkiesick:

4841209
Whichever is funnier! :rainbowwild:

... which, in my opinion, is that they are the only delicious part of that meal.

4841922
Well, I don't care much for oatmeal raisin myself...

Either way works for me actually, it's still pretty hilarious. :rainbowlaugh:

Anyway, it says right here,” she pointed to Dating for Dummies, “that cooking a meal for your loved one is a sweet and romantic gesture.”

Twilight referring to books for things (especially things like dating) is just.. classic Twilight XD.

I really am just in disbelief that Twilight didn't plan this meal ahead of time ^^.
Haha, Twilight, what happened to your organisational skills?

Her meal plan is not ideal... but it's actually not that bad either.
Lentil stew and raisin oatmeal cookies can be real tasty. When made well :twilightsheepish:.

Lentil stew is a delicious and easy dish that even beginning cooks can prepare with little difficulty.
“Well that’s good!” Twilight said to herself

Oh, Twilight... don't be lulled into a false sense of security! XD

Twilight felt quite clever.

I can't help but laugh at this :rainbowlaugh:.
She's so clever, but so innocent. She has no idea what she is in for!

But Twilight Sparkle wasn’t a normal pony. She had magic, and she was good at it.

Have a gold star, Twilight :trollestia:.

Twilight stirred the stew and giggled. This is going pretty well! She’s going to be so impressed!

Apart from the vinegar in the soup, I'm actually kinda impressed. Good job, Twi.

Twilight sighed with a goofy grin on her face.

D'aww! <3

and a yellow box, which she didn’t look at

OMC, what's in the box?

Fluttershy gave her a small smile that filled her stomach with butterflies. “That was very sweet of you.”

Eep! :yay:

General Feedback
I'd like to make some comments about pacing and the story arc, but I'm not sure I'm capable of that right now.
Here goes: decent intro, and building up tension with the unexpected arrival and the dinner scene was good.

The point where Twilight tastes the lentil soup - where she tips over the edge, and thinks she's messed up -
was a really important scene. Unfortunately, I had difficulty connecting with Twilight in that scene.

I didn't understand what you meant by "Now her eyes were the part that burned" until the second reading.
I didn't realise that she had been crying at all until you said "Her marefriend’s face swam in her vision."
Perhaps "Now it was her eyes that were burning" would have been clearer. I'm not sure.

Generally well written, the only suggestion I can give is make sure that you create a clear image
in the viewer's mind of what is going on. I'm all for "show, don't tell". Just make sure that when
you are implying something, especially if it's story-crucial, the implication is a clear one.

“Twilight, say something if I can’t have cookies!”

Aha XD
Spike still made me laugh at the end though :twilightsmile:.

5838824
Thanks for the review!

Yeah, this was still relatively rough as far as my writing goes. I seem to recall I wrote it pretty quickly, and it wasn't the best it could have been. It's kind of funny to look back a year (almost exactly!) and see how much I've grown as a writer. My writing nowadays is quite a bit better.

5839945
Hehe, well I'm slowly reading through a small selection of your stories ^^.
Maybe the next one will be more recent.
In any case, it's good you can look back and see how far you've come!

5839967

Hehe, well I'm slowly reading through a small selection of your stories ^^.

I've noticed~ :pinkiesmile:

At least she can make cookies

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