• Member Since 31st Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen May 9th, 2018

PonyTom


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Long ago, Celestia sealed her sister into the moon. Her subjects, however, began to fear her and the elements she wielded, seeing they could be used on anypony. Heart broken, she fled her kingdom, leaving it to the ponies who inhabited it.

A thousand years later, Equestria is predominantly under the control of Earth Ponies. Industry thrives and magic is considered a thing of fantasy; Big Macintosh always thought this himself. However, his life is soon to turn around, and he will find himself on an adventure like no other.

(The main picture might be subject to change; just trying to paint a portrait of what kind of era the ponies are in in this alternate world)

(REBOOTED FOR GREAT JUSTICE)
(Proof-read by Sage-Wolf)

(Made the feature box. Awww riiight!)
(Well that was certainly short lived!)

Chapters (21)
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Comments ( 251 )

You know, if you're going to reboot the whole story, the least you could do is get rid of the older chapters. That way, newcomers won't wonder why this latest chapter looks very much like the first one.

4612141
I had a good look at my story and realized I could do much better. :twilightsmile:

Yeah, delete the old chapters if you want to reboot the story.

Whaaa got super confused for a second there when the newest chapter... was the oldest chapter, wearing a new hat, :derpytongue2:
I'm glad to see this story hasn't shuffled off it's written coil though, and I'm looking forward to running through it again as the revamped chapters come out! :twilightsmile:

4613585
Prepare yourself. The new hat is a preview of the fancy new suit the story wears! Also, the tattoos! And the piercings! Yeah, my story's mama wouldn't approve of its dressing mannerisms. :pinkiecrazy:

4613599
If mama approved, it wouldn't be any fun, :rainbowdetermined2:

4613599 How much difference will the new incarnation of the story from the old.

How long will it take to put out? I've seen reboots before that took FOREVEEEEER:pinkiecrazy: to catch up to where the old left off.:pinkiesad2: And some of them stalled before reaching that point.:unsuresweetie:

4613917
Let's just say this - there will be small differences here and there when it's just Big Mac, Zecora, and Braeburn, and that after that point, the changes will be dramatic. While I liked what I had, a lot of it, on retrospect, was a bit stressed. A lot of it undermined characters. I want to improve upon that at least a little, if not spectacularly. :rainbowdetermined2:

Comment posted by MrAskAPirate deleted Jun 29th, 2014

There's a couple of places with short, rapid dialogue where it looks like there should be another space between each of the lines to make it consistent with the rest of the story's formatting, but I can't tell if it's just the way the site is displaying it or if it's actually missing extra returns. I think knighty might be poking the code with a stick or something....

4614557
Nah, it might be me. I'm experimenting, trying to get a good feel for how it should go. :twilightsheepish: Might have to accept help from a pre-reader I'm talking to. Darn my pride. :pinkiecrazy:

Good to see you started the rewright look forward to seeing the changes you mentioned

better...
but now a lot of plot points feel heavy-handed

you got my follow for originality
but i think i'm going to have to bail, sorry

in the meantime, try some of these groups if you need help

So, Zecora is the element of Laughter, Mac is the element of Loyalty, and Braeburn is the element of Sleazeball. :rainbowlaugh:

Personally my head-cannon is that those trees have a pollen that causes fright. (Kinda like the Scarecrow's gas)
Also, I'm starting to see more elements of the steampunk society that the cover depicts.

Hmmm. Instead of being Air Nomads, the third tribe are mythical. Interesting.

I'm afraid the premise fails, because you have the earth ponies ruling everything.

Reality time. "I'm strong and grow plants good" is not even in the same league as "I can fly and summon lightning and tornadoes" or "I can kill you with my brain." The earth ponies would be the lowest caste in the system.

4662160
You seem to assume a group of people would not be smart enough to compensate for their short comings. And also assume that all unicorns are master spell-casters and that all pegasi are ace fliers who can do Sonic Rainbooms on a whim.

I assure you, there's more to the rise of the Earth Ponies than just the obvious talents. I'm not even doing a good job at hiding just what might have played a role. :pinkiehappy:

"The Castle of the Sisters... it is near... my friends, I believe we are here!"

Better? :applejackunsure:

4663852
Was, but then your choice of icon gave your comment a somewhat less helpful tone. :pinkiesad2:

4663959
My bad; didn't mean it that way... how about... this one?

:derpytongue2:

4662160 You're forgetting the earth ponies and pegasi teamed up against the unicorns. Later on wealth and power gradually shifted to the tribe that makes/grows everything, but I don't believe there was ever an earth pony/pegasi war in this 'verse.

I would love to see this world's version of the Hearth's Warming Eve play.

4665445
HAH! Actually that part remains the same. I altered some elements, but that one stuck.

Someone who paid attention! ... I.... I just might cry.... its so amazing... :pinkiesad2:

4665471 Well I love me some alternate universe fics, especially the history leading up to the present state. One thing that never got answered though, is why unicorns didn't just say "buck it" and go build their own country somewhere else, especially in modern times. Move in with the Zebras or the Buffalo or something.

4665599
That's something I intend to touch upon with this alternate itteration. :moustache: I'm hoping not to disappoint.

'I work on a farm, Braeburn. I have no shortage of places to hide a body.'

/dieslaughing, :rainbowlaugh:

sew some wild apple seeds

Three occurrences (the third without the 'some') - the word is sow.

Try saying that tittle 10 times fast.

Interesting, although somepony is rather forward. I don't think they're getting a fair offer, considering that it's their land.

Interesting, although somepony is rather forward. I don't think they're getting a fair offer, considering that it's their land.

I liked this chapter the first time, but I have to say it has improved significantly the second time around! Big Mac comes off as not excessively mean to Scootaloo, and his throat problems are explained in more detail, which work well as an explanation for his tacitness. The dialogue in general fits better, everyone feels a little more in character. The whole scene where Big Mac imagines what his relatives will say about the business dinner was comedy gold. I really liked the improvement of Filthy Rich. He and "Lady Nightingale" both seem to have actually thought about their proposals and made them persuasive ones this time, and it does feel like he genuinely cares for the Apple family. NMM's come on to Big Mac also seems more well thought out on her part. I LOVED the food-fighting scene at the end.

This reminded me of one other question I still had from the first time: In canon, whether Luna went crazy (show canon) or was possessed by a shadow monster (comic canon), as Nightmare Moon she was basically insane, a raving megalomaniac with poor planning skills and absolutely NO patience. Here she's cautious, careful, and even acting humble. Presumably Celestia is still raising the sun and lowering the moon on schedule somewhere, and NMM hasn't interfered with that. I know coming back she was probably stunned at the changes to Equestria (both the exile of the unicorns and especially the deposing of her sister), but I would think that in the last year, without some very powerful outside factor, the council of nobles (I think it's implied that a bunch of earth pony nobles rule Equestria now) should have had a crazed giant princess in black armor burst in and declare herself the ruler of all. Even though NMM knows her sister is out there, I would think she would either seek her out to fight her, or just try and seize the throne. I really hope we discover the factor that is forcing her to be so cautious. I do love this story though, both times around, and I can't wait for the next chapter! :yay:

I could make a coverart for your fanfiction, if you like.:twilightsmile:

The large stallion balked a bit and fell back on his haunches, holding a hoof up defensively. Braeburn stopped, confused, and began to look around, and when realization hit him, he leaped into the air, landing in his cousin's hooves, wrapping his forelegs around his neck. "Whoa! What in Tartarus is that!?"
javascript:void(%200%20);

They saw a Javascript?! Damn, Dissy, you work fast!

4690563
Weird... never seen that happen before... :rainbowhuh:

4690585 I think you should leave it in, but fix it so that it's integrated with the story a bit better. But, that's just my opinion.

I think I'm starting to understand how you're shifting things around from the previous version of the story... and I like where this is going! :pinkiehappy:

Just one question: how did the Earth Ponies manage to wipe our magic? I mean, unicorns use it on instinct as babies. So how?

'I work on a farm, Braeburn. I have no shortage of places to hide a body.'

:rainbowlaugh: I gotta use that sometime.

You left an italics open near the end.

Well done on Fluttershy's voice. It's nice to see someone bring across her timid nature without relying on the visual distraction of using a smaller font.

I like the changes. ............................................................................................................................................................that's all..............................it's a big compliment from me

You haven’t really done anything to build a lot of suspense in this chapter. And yet, there is a lot of suspense.

This is excellent work, friend.

Superior characterization continues. Big Mac is still the brains of the pair, but now he has occasional bad ideas. And Braeburn is no longer dead weight, he gives good advice, and he even uses his reputation as a horndog to gain valuable intelligence.
I am more curious about Filthy Rich than ever. He's a noble, but Mayor Mare is around. Is Rich the equivalent of Ponyville's representative to Equestria's version of the House of Lords (I think you implied that Equestria is ruled by some sort of noble council)?
I will say that if Twilight Sparkle is spending lots of time in the same house as Nightmare Moon, there's simply no way she hasn't figured out who Rich's "niece" is.

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