It was going to be just another normal day in Ponyville. Well as normal as Ponyville gets anyway. Now the best I can hope for is another traumatizing day in Ponyville. All because of one little mistake. Now I know a secret that no pony was ever supposed to find out about. Just thinking about it blows my mind. I just have to stay calm and not let anything slip about what I know, for the rest of my life. How hard can that be?
My new, revised, much better version of Sweetie Secrets. Edited by the incomparable Nharctic. Go give him some love.
Chapters (1)
Nice twist.
Was certain it would be a reversal on Sweetiebot all the way to the end, not the most fabulous zombie/lich ever.
Its good.... but What the buck was the secret that Sweetie belle Found OUT?!
So wait... Rarity is a zombie or something...?
That's something I haven't seen ever.
. . . Well, that was unexpected.
~The lizardman's mind is blown
...I don't get it.
This story needs more editing, a clearer explanation of what Rarity is, exactly, and more humor. This really isn't comedy so much as it is just a slice of life. I didn't find all that much funny about it.
It made me go, "huehuehue" a few times.
It also left me wanting to know more.
I liked it.
It was a nice little read.
Try to remain calm, Sweetie. Wouldn't want you to lose your head.
...
Okay then..
And please fix your grammar, darling...
Why did you keep saying "defiantly" when you meant "definitely?"
I "defiantly" don't get it.
...
...
Okay, that was bad.
An interesting concept, but it needs some work.
1) There are a bunch of spelling/grammar errors that need to be fixed. I recommend finding a proofreader or something.
2) You need to explain just what Rarity is and why she is that way.
3) I'd get rid of the entire first paragraph, or at least rework it so it's less of a spoiler for the end.
4) Also the short description should be made less spoilery.
This is really interesting, but you really need an editor. Have an upvote and follow.
4197817 HAAAAA, possibly unintended head pun!
huh im so confused
Hello Everyone. So I've updated the story so it now makes more sense. Also had it edited so yeah. Much better. Expect a second chapter at some point.
Well wasn't this jus the cutest little story about a zombie I've ever read!