• Member Since 17th Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen June 3rd


*blasts out if airlock into sun*


Sometimes, things may not end how you intend them to end, and sometimes this ending is better than the ending that you had put the planning into. when a man with the name of Michael is mistaken for something that he is not, he is moved to Equestria where every person is a pony and there are no human beings. In this land he learns many new things that the people in his home could be better if they also learned them.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 10 )

>tfw pretending to be russian

this chapter is making me do the laughings

4189970 Какого черта ты просто чертовски говорят обо мне , ты, маленькая сука? Я вас знаю, я закончил верх моего класса в Navy Seals , и я принимал участие в многочисленных секретных рейдов на Аль- Каиды , и у меня есть более 300 подтвержденных убийств . Я обучаюсь в гориллы войны , и я сверху снайпер во всей вооруженных сил США. Вам это ничего не мне, но просто еще один целевой . Вытру вам нахрен с точностью , подобного которому никогда не видел прежде на этой Земле , запомните мои чертовы слова . Вы думаете, что вы можете уйти с того, что дерьмо мне через Интернет ? Подумайте еще раз, ублюдок . Как мы говорим Я контактирую мой секретный сеть шпионов по США и ваш IP в настоящее время прослеживается прямо сейчас, так что вам лучше подготовиться к штормовой , личинки . Буря , что сводит на нет жалкий мелочь вы называете вашу жизнь . Ты чертовски мертвым , малыш . Я могу быть где угодно , в любое время , и я могу убить тебя в более семисот способами , и это только голыми руками . Я не только широко обучен приемам рукопашного боя , но у меня есть доступ ко всей арсенале морской пехоты Соединенных Штатов , и я буду использовать его в полной мере , чтобы вытереть жалкое задницу с лица континента , вы кусок дерьма . Если бы ты только мог знать , что нечестивый возмездие ваш маленький " умный " комментарий собирался сбить на вас , может быть, вы бы провели свой ​​гребаный язык. Но вы не могли , вы не , и теперь вы платите цену, вы черт идиот. Я буду срать ярость все над вами , и вы будете утонуть в нем . Ты чертовски мертвым , малыш.

This review is brought to you by Zero Punctuation Reviews
Well….. where do I even start with this? The answer is why bother.
This is another one of those ever lovely HiE (Human in Equestria, again for the knobs that don’t understand anagrams) stories that this site somehow prides itself on and by lovely I mean that it should be a genre that never exists and should go jump out onto the deep cold of Pluto where no-one will remember it with fondness.

And seriously, FiMFiction should be a lot more harsh than I on these stories; going through them with a bloody fine-toothed comb and not letting the shite ones through as indeed they have.
Too Sexy for Equestri(a) is written by the ever glamorous author by the name of PenileCorrectionSurgery, Wow that’s a nasty mouthful if you ever heard one…. and taste.

Anyway, reading through it we’re introduced to some twat named Michael, and all he does at a bus stop after leaving his house is stare at people and what they’re doing like all the other schmucks that are lumped into the HiE genre… really creepily. Michael gets on the bus and goes to work where generic arsehole boss #3213 is a dick to our intrepid human and fires him because, get this, he’s wearing an MLP t-shirt…. and it’s too homosexual?!

Really? I mean, I’ve read some stories that this happens but this is just a little bit over the top, I mean come on he said that he wasn’t gay but I guess that we’re going to stretch the boundaries of reality like every other story in this genre containing more sods than a special care home.

"Wow generic arsehole boss #3213! I never thought that being a dick to my employees would be so much fun!" Said generic arsehole boss #7894

"Yeah! It gives me the greatest pleasure everyday" replied gener- okay fuck it i'm calling him GAB for short.

Now, this is 2014, and its generally accepted that bronies are apart of our society without wide scale hate, but that is some petty fucking shit right there; I bet they love you at the office parties, GAB.

In the end, Mikey, whom I will now call Monkey, leaves work in shame and for some reason doesn't go home on the bus. I don't know why; maybe they've got his picture with the words ‘don't let this schmuck on because he stared some grandma's wrinkletits’.

Anyway, he decides to walk home instead through an area that's notorious for skinheads. What the fuck does this mean for our intrepid retard? Nothing much really.

And excuse me for asking, but if he knows this area is full of them why is he walking through wearing a MLP shirt when they obviously dont like that sort of stuff?!

Anyway, as Monkey makes his sodding way through the shitty area a bunch of the aforementioned skinheads come out of the bar and, lo and behold, they're drunk.

Oh dear me, this is getting boring so I'll sum it up like this; Skinheads see MLP shirt after Monkey tries to avoid them, and fails miserably and so after a pointless conversation with homophobic retarded people talking to him like Crabbe and fucking Goyle, they beat the shit out of him and fuck off.

Now ,you could think that things we're wrapping up but the suddenly Princess Celestia of all fucking things shows up to yank the knob off to Equestria, oh wait Equestri(a)!

All up this story has a few writing sins in it that really condemn it to where Nicholas Cage gets his crazy and they go like this
1. Bad English (but that can be forgiven slightly as its not BellendusFixturisOpperatus’ first language)
2. HiE story
3. Overdone bullshit way to get said human into Equestria
4. No sense of common sense anywhere.
5. And finally; Context of what's going on.
And that just about wraps it up.

*Sighs* And that was the eye stabbingly bad story that was Too Sexy for Equestri(a) and it definitely brings something to my sense of smell... Shit.

But in the end I'd rather read this garbage than reading about sparkly twats in Twilight.

As long as you enjoyed it dude I would'nt mind doing your other stories on Zero Punctuation Reviews (if you submit them)

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