Permission to FREAK OUT!? (sequel to Lost, on the heat of battle. a TF2 and MLP crossover.)

by heavy weapons brony

Oh Sweetie Celestia NO!

Scout sat on the chair provided for him while the council of ponies before him debated on what to do.

“Well I say the first thing we do is write the princess,” A orange mare by the name of Applejack suggested.

“NO! she can’t find out about this, she can’t know that somepony she named a princess can’t handle looking after ponyville,” Twilight interjected.

“Well then, how do we stop them by ourselves?, your new friend here said his team fought them for months before they got rid of them,” Applejack retorted.

All six ponies turned to Scout.

“Well uuumm, we did fight them for a while, but then we found a “cure,” well “cures.” Scout assured.

“Well what are these “Cures” exactly?” A marshmallow Mare named Rarity asked Scout.

“Well that depends, the cure for Fat Spy is a dose of Mad Milk, so we should go after him first” Scout answered.

“Whats Mad Milk?” A Rainbow maned pony named Rainbow Dash asked.

“Its this” Scout answered pulling a bottle of Milk from a bag he had slung across his shoulder.

“Well, what makes it mad?” Rainbow asked.

“Ya know? I’m not quite sure.” Scout answered scratching his head.

“So, you have fought these before?” Rarity continued.

“Yeah, each of them has got dere own weakness, and Fat Spy is by far the easiest, I used to take those knuckleheads out by the truckloads, their slow and sensitive about their weight so all you gotta do is insult them and give’em a bottle of this stuff right to the face.” Scout said with a bit of confidence while Pointing to the Mad Milk.

“Well now that we have a plan, we can go after them tomorrow, you said that they were in the everfree? I don’t expect any of them to find their way out tonight.” Twilight said as she checked the tree line of the everfree through a window.

“Naw, the best thing about freaks is that dere not to bright, you guys,...a,...I mean ponies, should be just fine,” Scout scanned the room as several ponies got up to leave,” Aaaaa, I got just two questions for you guys though.

“An what would those be?” Applejack asked.

“One, who is she” Scout pointed to a quivering mass of butter colored fur in the corner.

“Oh, thats just Fluttershy, all this talk of monsters from another dimension probably got her scared” Applejack answered.

“Okay, one more thing, wasn't dere six of you here like, two seconds ago?” Scout asked.

All the ponies collectively scanned the room and realized that indeed one of them was missing.

“Ohmygosh! where's Pinkie Pie!? you don’t think any of those monsters made it to town yet do you?” Rainbow asked in a worried tone.

“Well the only thing it could be besides that,” Applejack began, “Reasoning being, seeing “Scout” here is new to ponyville, she scampered off to prepare,....”

“A PARTY!” A overly pink mare popped from the ceiling along with a collection of balloons, confetti, streamers, and a banner that read “Welcome to ponyville Scout the human!”

Scout screamed and fell of his chair while the others screamed “PINKIE NOT NOW MONSTERS ARE GOING TO EAT PONYVILLE!”

“They ARE!? I better change my banner!” Pinkie then grabbed the banner and hid back into the ceiling.

“Uuug, Okay girls, i want all of you here bright in early in the morning,” Twilight announced, then turned to scout. “Theres a guest bed in the basement you can use, see you in the morning,...Scout” Twilight then began to ascend the staircase leading to the upper floor of the hollowed out tree.

“Yeah, goodnight” Scout said as he walked towards a door he assumed let to the basement, It did, Scout ascended the set of stairs and came upon a large room filled with a strange machine, by this time Scout had Enough to do with strange machines, he found the bed Twilight was talking about, he laid down on it and drifted to sleep hoping that one day, he would be bashing BLU bozos again.

“Don’t let go Daddy! 9 year old Scout yelled.

“I won’t mon soleil! just keep pedaling, I know you can do it” A soft males voice assured.

“I’m doing it! I'm pedaling! Scout shouted with joy.

“Your doing much more that that mon soleil” The Male voice said.

Then a gloved had appeared in front of Scouts face, showing that nothing was holding the bike up and that he was balancing all by himself.

Scout turned to see a tall man in a red pinstriped suit and a red ski mask smiling down at him as he rode along.

“I’m doing it Daddy! I’m doing it daddy!” Scout yelled back to his father.

“NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!!!!” Scout awoke with a start, “Spy is not my dad Spy is not my dad,” Scout began repeating to himself.

“Whoa, are Okay?” A young voice asked Scout.

Scout stopped slapping himself and looked out in front of him.

A small green and purple Dragon of sorts stood in front of him.

“Aaaa, yeah” Scout said dumbfounded.

“Twilight told me we had company, so i came down here to see of you wanted breakfast, Aren’t you a little small to be a diamond dog? and wheres your fur? or your ears?”

Scouts mood turned sour after his pride took a hit.

“Hey! I ain't no dog! imma human! get it? H-u-m-a-m Huuuuumman!” Scout shouted and jumped from his bed.

“Okay Okay sheesh” The dragon said defensively “Anyway, breakfast is ready and the whole gang is here, by the way my name is Spike.”

“I am da Scout” Scout said proudly.

After a meal of oatmeal (Just like mom failed to make) The whole hunting party left for the everfree forest each with a saddlebag full of supplies.

On their walk, Twilight decided to ask more about what they were looking for.

“So, what exactly does Fat Spy look like?” Twilight asked.

“He walks on two legs, and wears a bright red suit and mask, you don't have to worry about him though, all he does is run around and pull pranks, just don’t corner him,” Scout explained.

“What happens if you corner him?” Twilight asked.

“Well he’ll get really fat, and flies through the air, then carpet bombs us with exploding watermelons,” Scout explained.

“Exploding watermelons?” Twilight asked.

“Hm-hm-hm-hmmm, exploding watermelons!! thats going in the vault,” Pinkie yelled from behind them.

The group froze when the sound of a shotgun cocking over and over again.

“Hide! NOW!” Scout shouted.

The group by now had reached the treeline, they hid among the bushes lining the edge of the everfree.

The Shotgun noises continued, they were followed by surprisingly upbeat music then the ponies of equestria got their first glimpse of a fortress freak.

Painis cupcake came into view, he was skipping along the treeline singing his song.

About the time Painis Skipped directly in front of where the Ponies and Scout were hiding, he stopped singing and skipping, and acted like he noticed something.

Fluttershy began holding back frightened sobs while the rest of the gang gave Painis Cupcake disgusted looks.

“Is that The one you're looking for?” Twilight whispered.

“No, we’re looking for Fat Spy, He’s Painis Cupcake, hes the strongest and most dangerous Freak of all” Scout whispered back.

“Well what ever he his he looks absolutely dreadful,” Rarity mused in an insulted tone.

“Quiet! we don’t have his cure yet, if he sees us we’re all dead!” Scout whispered loudly.

Painis wasn't paying attention, he was looking up to the sky,”I am Painis Cupcake” he yelled.

“Who is he talking to?” Twilight whispered to Scout.

Scout just shrugged.

Then a grey pegasus mare with a blonde mane flew lazily near Painis Cupcake’s eye-level.

“Well hey there Painis Cupcake! My names Derpy! welcome to ponyville!” The Wall-eyed Mare proclaimed, then extended a hoof to Painis.

Panis smiled, then licked his lips, “I will eat you!” He shouted, then shoved Derpy’s entire Hoof into his mouth and bit down,..hard.

Derpy screamed.

“Derpy!” Rainbow Dash screamed and charged Painis Cupcake, Knocking him over and causing him to spit out Derpy.

Rainbow Dash and Applejack Both held down Painis while Scout and Twilight and the rest surrounded Derpy.

“Ohmygodohmygoeohmygod! this is bad! this is really bad!”” Scout began to get frantic.

“Don’t worry Scout! the bite didn’t do much damage, and i can stop the bleeding with these bandages,” Twilight assured.

Twilight looked down at derpy as she floated bandages around Derpys injured hoof.

“I just don’t know what went wrong” Derpy stated through pained sobs.

“No! you don’t understand! she’s infected! she’ll turn into a freak like them!” Scout shouted.

The group of ponies all gasped, “When?” Twilight asked.

“Now!” Scout shouted pointing to Derpy.

“Just what the hell are you doing touching the Derp's goods?” Derpy asked, but her voice sounded more gruff and masculine.

The group looked down and saw Derpy had changed, her long Blonde mane had been cropped to a blonde flat top, a half smoked cigar stuck out of her mouth, a pair of dark sunglasses hid her Wall-eyes, she now wore a red tank-top and two ammo belts were strapped to her chest.

Derpy forcefully pushed Twilight away, the bandages fell, revealing Derpy had completely healed, Derpy let out a breath of cigar smoke and stared everyone down.

“I’m Derp Nukem, and I’ve come to do two things, Kick flank and chew muffins, and i’m all out of muffins” Derp Nukem said in a intimidating tone.

Then as all the ponies stared in confusion, Painis Cupcake threw off Rainbow and Applejack, He let out a piercing scream and became ubercharged all on his own.

Derp Nukem just raised an eyebrow at Painis “Get that crap outta here” Derp proclaimed then charged Painis.

Painis charged Derp Nukem, they both flew at each other and when they met Derp let loose a powerful uppercut to Painis jaw so powerful it canceled Painis’s ubercharge and staggered him.

“I’m not going to fight you, I’m going to kick your flank,” Derp said dramatically, then delivered a kick sending Painis flying back into the Everfree forest.

Derp smirked and flew into the forest in pursuit.

“No! we have to stop her!” Twilight yelled and started to run for the forest, but scout grabbed her tail.

“No! the only cure for freak is Mann.co tech, we have to get the rest of my team back then we can save her, besides She’s a freak now. She’s super tough and as long as she finds something to fight She’ll stay in the forest.

Twilight looked back at Scout with tears in the corners of her eyes, “Okay.”

Scout smiled “Okay now all we got to do if find,...” Scout was interrupted as a cherry pie slammed into his face.

“Blaaaa! Aw Jeez!” The Scout exasperated.

Scout looked up and saw Fat Spy standing in the tree line shorting with laughter.

“Suprise! a PIE!” Fat Spy proclaimed.

Comments

[AlphaThroughZeta]

Derp Nukem....

THAT SOUNDS FUCKIN AWESOME

[Rootbeer Dew]

Derp Nukem for the win!

[Lion Tale]

Well, found one.
7 more to go.....

[blacknight7890]

wait what freak is scout though?

[heavy weapons brony]

4197279 hes not a freak, he was saved from the infection by a random occurance that i may or may not explain later.

[Despicable Kiwii]

I don't know why, but i want MOAR

[WorldWalker128]

“Theres a guest bed in the basement you can use, see you in the morning,...Scout” Twilight then began to ascend the staircase leading to the upper floor of the hollowed out tree.

“Yeah, goodnight” Scout said as he walked towards a door he assumed let to the basement, It did, Scout ascended the set of stairs and came upon a large room filled with a strange machine,

you're thinking of 'descend'. ascending is going up.
-
Welp, at least he threw a pie, and not a Pinkie Pie.

[DrCool]

4197279 i would say scombine, but scout is not a freak, the rest of his team is dumbf***

[Dismay]

4195982 My god who shale win Derp Nukem or Painis Cupcake