Permission to FREAK OUT!? (sequel to Lost, on the heat of battle. a TF2 and MLP crossover.)

by heavy weapons brony

Derp Nukem Forever

Author's Note:

welp here it is, after 9 days in development i hope it was worth the wait.

3 Weeks since the Battle for Ponyville.

A small unicorn filly bounded slowly through the torn town, even after three weeks they were still parents looking for their lost children.

And children looking for their lost parents.

Dinky sighed, her mother Derpy Hooves had disappeared on her mail route on the day of the battle, Dinky had been living in their home under the supervision of the royal guard who had shown up to help the town rebuild. Today was her first day back to school since the War.

Dinky approached the schoolhouse to find all the local children had gathered outside.

“Hey,...what's going on?” DInky asked the group.

A small colt turned, “Its Cheerilee, She left a note saying she may be late, she was drafted into clean up this morning,”

*Sigh “I guess all we have to do is wait,” Dinky responded.

The colts and fillies soon migrated to the playground out back, some played, others talked, Dinky however took to an early lunch. Dinky removed a single muffin, it was special to her. Every week her mother made a batch for Dinky’s lunch but after she disappeared Dinky held her mother's last batch precious and saved it up until now.

A single tear formed on the bottom of her left eye, she slowly lifted it to her muzzle and opened her mouth.

*Swipe, A light pink hoof stole the muffin from her.

Dinky gasped and turned to see Diamond Tiara standing next to her, giving and evil smile to the stolen muffin.

“Give it BACK!” Dinky cried.

“Why are you crying about a muffin? Are you in love with it? trying to kiss a pastry is so like you being that no colt will ever notice you,” Diamond mocked.

“I Said give it back!” Dinky rushed Diamond but was quickly body blocked by Diamonds little toady Silver spoon.

“Thank you Silver, Now all we have to do is dispose of Dinky’s boyfriend,” Diamond gave another smile, then eyed a mud puddle she was standing over.

“DON’T!” Dinky cried.

Diamond dropped the muffin into the puddle and brought a hoof down on the last bit of memory of Dinky’s mother Dinky had left.

Silver Spoon released Dinky, letting her run to the puddle and weep over the confectionary treat.

“Your such a pathetic little blank flank, its no wonder you're mentally challenged mother abandoned you,”

Dinky looked up, “You're wrong! she didn’t abandon me, i’d bet anything she fought those changelings right along with the humans!”

“Pfft, she probably hightailed it out of there and cracked her head open on a tree,”

Dinky started bawling again while Diamond Tiara laughed at the filly's misfortune.

*WOOSH,...SPATTTER!

Diamond’s laughter abruptly stopped as a gray and red blur came from the sky and impacted her head, crushing it into the mud puddle and spattering her brains all over the near by children.

“No 2 bit whore insults my muffin and doesn't get her head stepped on,”

Dinky lifted her head to find her mother standing over the mangled headless body of the local bully, except she was different. Her long blond mane was cut to a short flat top and matted with black Changeling blood, she wore battered sunglasses, a cigar hung from her mouth, she wore a red tank top and held a shotgun from one of the humans in one hoof.

“Mommy!” Dinky cried.

“Ya Celestia Damned right!” Derp Nukem said with a smile, “C'mon lets go home,” Derp extended a hoof.

Dinky jumped in her mothers hooves as her mother shot up into the sky.

“Mommy? this is the wrong way, home is that way!” Dinky shouted pointing to the south.

“Our old home was lame, i got a better idea,” Derp said with a suspicious smile.

“But mister Rich, my husband was killed in the invasion! i have no one at home watching our foals!” a yellow coated maid explained.

“Well im sorry about the but company policy clearly states that leave due to death in the family needs to be filed 2 weeks beforehand,” A brown Stallion with a slick mane said in a annoyed tone from behind his desk in the office of his mansion.

“But what will i do? i need this job to feed my family, but i can't leave them at home."

“Well i suggest you work more overtime,’

The maid hung her head, then sighed. She turned and went for the door but was interrupted when Derp Nukem kicked her way through the door with a unicorn filly on her back.

Filthy Rich stood up in annoyance “Listen, any further questions i will answer during a scheduled app-Hmmmm-mmph!”

Filthy was interrupted when Derp stuck her shotgun into the stallion’s mouth.

“Give me one good reason why i shouldn’t pull this trigger,”Derp growled.

“Hmmp-hmm-mhmm-hmmm!” Filthy cried.

“Sorry, couldn’t hear you, you really shouldn’t talk with your mouth full.”

*BLAM!

Filthy’s body fell to the ground bleeding out the lower half of his head, Derp sat at filthy’s desk and put her rear hooves up.

“Hmm-something's missing,” Derp looked up at the ceiling, then lifted her shogun.

*Blam *Blam *Blam

The ceiling caved in and a large amount of riches landed on top of Derp, she was soon surrounded by bags of money, piles of gold, a crown landed on her head and a scepter landed in her hooves.

“Buck yeah much better,”

Then Derp noticed the maid in the corner staring in udder shock.

“Okay, you clean that up, then consider yourself fired,” Derp barked pointing to Filthy’s body.

“Fired?” The maid asked.

Derp picked up a ruby as big as her head and threw it to the mare, she caught it and looked down at it in shock.

“Consider that your company supplied retirement plan,”

*Gasp “Yes Ma’am!”

“Actually, before you get to that, Could you make us some Muffins?”

“Yes Ma’am,” The maid left the room.

Derp leaned back and sighed a breath of cigar smoke.

“It is good to be king,” She mused as her daughter gasped at how large her new room was.

Comments

[AlphaThroughZeta]

I SURE DO WISH I CLOULD LIKE THIS A SECOND TIME!!!

[WorldWalker128]

Then Derp noticed the maid in the corner staring in udder shock.

magicpoolservices.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/cow_swimming.jpg
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And Dinky isn't horrified that her mother just murdered two ponies? Granted both were jerks, but still...

[DrCool]

Scout: WHAT THE FUCK? Spy: RIDICULOUS! Sniper: RUBBISH! Heavy: IT WAS AS BAD AS SPY! Engineer: Nope. Medic: Dumpkof! Soldier: THAT DESERVES A MEDAL!!!!! Demoman: Only you would say that.... allluahuh......im BLOODY DRUNK!!!! Pyro: Mhp! Mfnrfh! Huddah huddah huh! (Shit, bad, horibble horrible SHIT!)

[heavy weapons brony]

4633731 that comment was before i whad written it and i accedently marked the story Complete

[WorldWalker128]

Umbra vox.

I was trying to be funny, El Stupido. Clearly it went over your head.

[Chad]

BEST STORY EVER!!!!!!
14,000,000,000,000!!!!!!!!!!!!

[WorldWalker128]

4778683
sadly, no, but I agree.

[inakilbss]

Karma hit douchebag ponies.