• Member Since 19th Mar, 2014
  • offline last seen Yesterday

King of Beggars

One of these days we'll form a union, and get the fair and equitable treatment we deserve. Then we'll go too far, and become corrupt and shiftless, and the Japonies will eat us alive.


An ancient race of warriors was sealed away by the princesses long ago. After countless generations of peace, they rise once again to wage war with the newest of Equestria's princesses: Twilight Sparkle.

A story about revenge, love, cookies, mecha, and bipeds.

What is the dark secret the alicorn sisters are hiding? What's with the new baker at Sugarcube Corner? What exactly are squatter's rights? Can two crazy kids find each other through the smoke and the fog of a battlefield? And why is Celestia so horny?

This is the story of siege of the Ponyville Library: The War in the Pocket.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 21 )

this was HILARIOUS!:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

Funny, heartwarming at times and most of all, enjoyable! You did great job on this fic, I really liked it :pinkiehappy:

Bravo. Never thought a comedy could be so deep. You should check out a fic called "Princesses don't Potty". :rainbowwild:

This was hilarious, charming and strangely romantic. Bravo, good sir.:twilightsmile:

Damn, that was fantastic.

Thanks for the kind words, everyone. I'm glad you enjoyed the story.

Oh I just noticed a couple of someones added my story to some groups. Thanks to whoever took that liberty. Hadn't even occurred to me to do that.

I absolutely loved this story. Can't wait to see what else your brain comes up with. :twilightsmile:

How are you not more famous than this? I've read all your stories and they're brilliant! :pinkiehappy:

Bizarre but brilliant. Bravo.

After reading some of your other stories I realized this one was your first and you hadn't established the fact that Velvet was Spike's (adoptive mind you, but let's not dwell on that) mother meaning Sparky was his sister, which is why you shipped Spike and Twi here, not that I'm complaining. Their relationship in the show is somewhat ambiguous after all, but we commonly derive that they're just friends/surrogate siblings, meaning that while a romantic relationship is unlikely, it's not TOTALLY far fetched... as things can happen. Though I am a little curious if you feel a little awkward with this 'ship now that you've established their purely familial (cross story) bond in your latter stories?

Yeah this was my first pony story. I hadn't even intended to write anything after it, mind you. This was originally just a silly thing I started writing because I had a week off work and nothing else to do. It was supposed to be a stupid gag, and the Spike hitting on Twilight thing was really just kind of thrown in there. Then the story got larger, somehow, and had a bunch of other themes that I never intended it to have, and the resolution at the end with Spike and Twilight was just a matter of "Well I've already got one weird romance... why not Spilight, too?"

I mean even in Dos Marejeres, my second story, their relationship was still really nebulously defined as far as an overarching narrative for my stories was concerned. It didn't get start to get solidified until Gator Patrol, and even then only as a way to make a joke about Spike pretending to be called away by his mom for dinner.

So no, it's not awkward to me. It was just a throw away joke that got out of hand. Again, I never intended to write any more stories than this one, but I had so much fun, even despite this story's lack of exposure, that I kept going. This thing's kind of in a world of its own, ya know?

Great question, man. Thanks for asking.

This was a fun little story. It also makes me wonder what happens with Ernie and Vinnie. I mean, does Ernie stay faithful to his Maria, or does he find new love? Does Vinnie find love while adventuring, or does he stay single and continue adventuring?

You took an utterly ridiculous premise and made it into one of the best stories I've read in a long while. I was pretty well hooked from the start, and reread the last third about twice before truly finishing. AUGH! I want to say all the everything about how much I enjoyed this.

The characterization was flawless, with the exception of Celestia and maybe Luna. But, given this is a farce, the comedic liberties you took with them are forgiven, and even make sense in the story. The only character who really needed work was Vinny, and only because he got so little screen-time. He felt like he was along for the ride, and while he may have been, it might've been nice to see a young soldier's perspective on the old war. But even he came alive in my head, taking the voice of a more melancholy TF2 Scout to Ernie's tired Joe Pesci and Chubby's very earnest Linguine.

I want to go on, but sleep beckons.

I enjoyed this a lot. I was grinning from end to end, and was unable to put it down. Thanks. :D

:twilightoops: "Oh, by Luna's curly pubes... Spike! WE got elves!"
:moustache: "I'll get the spray!"

Awesomely fun story. I vaguely remember an elf (or was it a gnome?) back in the G1 rainbow of darkness thing, so this fits canon as far as I'm concerned.

So what if it’s a little weird? All love should be a little weird.

I love this line. It's a perfect Pinkie quote.

Delightfully cracked in all the right ways.

Started reading with very low expectations. They were exceeded by very large margin. Good job.


Very nice though I am mildly annoyed that the princesses did not get their comupence.

“We also have to get the books out so we have somewhere to put the ovens,” Chubby continued. “What about if we tackle the problems one at a time? I suggest the books first, they seem to be her weakness, so one thing should lead to the other.”

Wait a minute...Are these the Keebler Elves?

After reading the author's note, apparently, the answer is yes,

Also, I totally loved the the Wile E. Coyote vibe some of the elf attacks had.

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