• Member Since 11th Mar, 2013
  • offline last seen 6 days ago

TheGreatEater


E

Lunaverse Fic. After months of misadventures, and trying to tell the filly of her dreams her true emotions Diamond Tiara has finally came up with the perfect plan to get her filly go out with her for the Harvest Festival. If only things were that easy. Follow Diamond Tiara as tries to get Scootaloo to go on a date with her.

A light hearted fluff fic, with tons of fun.

Editors and Proofreaders:
Super_Big_Mac

RK_Striker_JK_5

and

Blackbelt

Special Thanks:

Blackbelt [for ScootalooXDT continuity help]

and

RainbowDoubleDash [for giving his blessing on making this fic, continuity questions, helping me flesh out Silver Spoon, and other help, even though my OCD probably drove him crazy at points. He's an epically awesome dude. If noone here has read The Lunaverse then you should. It's an amazing AU and definitely worth the time to follow the series.]

[Fire Diamond is what I'm calling ScootsXDT shipping [since fire diamonds are orange diamonds. I think it's fitting.]

[side note: Cover Art is temporary until I can find an artist to do a good cover.]

Chapters (6)
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Comments ( 39 )

I liked it. Been waiting for that thread to pay off.

I liked this so far, I intend to read the rest later, I do feel the some scenes had the characters explain too much a little too awkwardly, but I also found scenes like DT bashing her head trying to find some nice way to say something hilarious! And also sorta sweet.

4185952

Thank you. :twilightsmile:.


4185546

I'm glad that it's finally paid of as well. Thanks for your reply.

Small editing problem - the last scene with Cheerilee has her say that she'll send a student home with her, but then she asks the doctor to walk her home and the doctor does so. Which is the more sensible thing; anyway, the line where she says she'll have a student escort her home should probably be cut.

Then, later, the conversation between Diamond Tiara and Dinky has an awkward line: I need to rest when I get home, Thing is that the scene opened up with her already at home.

4186594
Fixed :twilightsmile:. Those slipped past my editor / pre-readers when I was revising it. Thank you for pointing it out.


4186024

I'm glad that you liked what you've read so far. Thanks for your comment.

I agree that DT being unable to control her mouth (even in her own head) was very fun at the beginning.

Think this should probably be either an afterword, a very long author's comment or a blog post really. You don't normally justify a story within the story itself.

The illusions of little Bon Bon and Lyra were very cute.

I'd suggest using different colours for the notes as to me at least they're more or less unreadable unless highlighted, unless that's what you want.

Fireworks are the most romantic part of the Festival. This will be perfect.[i/],

I think you messed up stopping the italics here.

DT sure does love her daddy doesn't she? A very sweet chapter all round.

While there are some very fun (and sweet) bits in it I also think there are quite a few problems with the writing style (and yes this is me saying this, my writing style isn't the best either), there's quite a bit more than could be shown rather than told about the background and how characters feel about each other.

Plus to me the whole romance thing didn't work given the age I have for the characters in my head, rather than a full formal date I'd expect DT to just want Scoots to hang out with her.

Still its a good idea and as I said has some very nice parts, I hope you try writing more stuff in the Lunaverse in future.

4192418

Funnily enough, I added this because I was asked how this story made sense and how everypony who knows about it in the fic would know. So I thought I'd dot the lines and show how everything made sense so that peeps who wanted to give this a look over could enjoy the fic without wondering how everypony who knew about DT's horribly hid secret knew about it.

4192586
fixed. Thank you for pointing that out. DT loves her daddy very much, and thanks for the comment.

4192664
Well age wise, they were born when Dashie had her sonic rainboom. Which [given how the CMC look biologically the same as the Mane 6 [FIMVerse] when that event happened] would mean that they are the age where some of them would be ready for romance [especially if we take Tootsie Flute's, and Sweetie's interest in romance InVerse]. As well as DT's more "privilaged" upbrining, I can see how she'd be more formal.

Honestly I was waiting for 3 months for anyone to bring up stuff in the GDocs pages, but I didn't get any more peeps bringing stuff up. So I thought it'd be ready for posting. Although I do admit, unedited my writing style can be very verbose. But I'm glad that the overall sweet and adorable feel of the fic that I was aiming for was successful. I'm glad that you enjoyed it overall.

I like the idea of Diamond playing RP games quite a bit actually.

This was a pretty cute and sweet story overall, sometimes the exposition or 'tell' was a bit heavy handed, but overall most characters felt fairly IC, the descriptions were good and the thought processes amusing and entertaining.

4222091

Thank you :twilightsmile:. I just hope one of these days someone can pull off a canon coupling with those two, the build ups been killing me and they are so cute together in that AU.

4224292
They are quite adorable. :pinkiehappy:

The preamble about the games gets in the beginning of the chapter is not fun to read, but might be necessary. I recommend removing it. If the readers can figure out how the games work from context, then you can dive straight into the story about DiamondTiara and Scootaloo, which is what the readers want to read. If the readers cannot figure out the games from context, then re-add the preamble about the games

4258272

What about putting it at the bottom instead of cutting it entirely?

4258436

You can use an Astrix and make it a footnote.

4258510

Fixed it, and thank you for your comments :twilightsmile:.

It flows better:

The previous chapters got me all fired up into seeing what happens next, and i had to wait until I finished reading the descriptions of the games. Now, I can get straight into the next chapter. Most readers probably can figure out the our-world equivalent, but those who do not can read the footnotes.

Dinky is best filly. Poor DT. So close...

Not a no isn't the best to hope for, but it's better than a straight no. :D Glad she got to ask Scoots.

4192444 Agreed on both counts. Great ballad by Lyra and the colors are really washed out on those notes.

Good to see DT... loosening up a bit. And being nice. Then again I've always felt she wasn't that bad in the Lunaverse.

Very cute. Loved this. A legit shame it's not Lunaverse canon... :flutterrage::flutterrage:

4192444
4313934

Thanks. I've tried to change it, but everytime I try editing the page my computer freezes up, and tells me that it's not responding and tries to kill the page.
I'll try some other time, and hope that it get's fixable.

4314241

I know, I got three good Lunaverse authors to help get it presentable. Even the person in charge of DTXScoot canon shiping. And it's a good fluff fic, I'm honestly kind of sad. I'm just hoping some Lunaverse author takes inspiration on this, and finally gets them shipped. I mean Tootsie Flute and Truffle Shuffle [whose ship was so background that it never got it's own fic. Much less several major interactions + 2 fics like Deets and Scoots] got closure to their build up. And you're right, Deets in this AU isn't bad she's just lonely, and doesn't know how to say what she feels without making a donkey out of herself. But all in all does alot of good things, and has a good heart in this AU.

Well thanks for the nice comments, and I hope that someday someone makes a good Canon ship for these two they need it.

Can anyone tell me why Apple Bloom and Diamond Tiara aren’t friends anymore? Now I'm curious.

4978495

It hasn't been stated in canon. But in my L!Verse Head Canon. AJ's fanatical devotion to the farm, and thinking if she didn't give every last bit of everything she was to it. All of Equestria would starve and die. Made her stressed [as we see throughout year one, and bits and pieces of year 2 she's starting to calm down slightly [ever since the Farmer's Union started up].

And we know Bloom loves her sister with all her little filly heart. So in my head canon, Bloom started doing what she could to work around the farm, and hanging out less and less with her young friend (Deets). Until she just stopped seeing her altogether. In an attempt at making AJ's life easier so she wouldn't be as stressed.

Deets sees that as a betrayl, and even though AB doesn't remember Deets. DT remembers her all to clearly. Especially since she was her first friend [since the Rich's and the Apple's have had a working / close knit relationship since Ponyville was founded].


4186594 would probably know why better than I do.

This went from being something I had no idea about to OPT overnight. And I used to hate both shipping and that term prior to exposure to this. Let's do this!

“Um … you … the orange one! I need to say something to you,”

Well, you went from outright hostile to just rude. Don't knock it, it took Vegeta years.

Diamond Tiara commanded, her nose automatically turning snout upwards.

...she really doesn't know how to turn it off. Dang.

Huffing she replied in an annoyed tone, “School, why all the questions? Seeing if that didn’t turn me into a retard?”

Sure, say that in front of the filly of your dreams.

She winced as she noticed the several inch long protrusion that shouldn’t be, and hoped that there wasn’t going to be any lasting harm.

Eh, give it a week and a few dozen Scootaloo kissess.

“I mean Ms. Trixie is Luna’s apprentice, and Representative of the Night Court, and the greatest magician ever. And she’s a really nice pony.

Who can keep her ego in check, and limits outbursts of the same mostly to bragging rather than insults.

My momma said that I should look past what other ponies see and give ponies a chance. Since my momma wanted me to be nice to you and give you a chance I thought I’d do it. And you aren’t all that bad of a pony. A little rough on the outside, but I’ve seen you do some nice things for other ponies. So I guess that’s why I guess,

Dinky is best filly

Well of course I do nice things sometimes. Being mean all the time would be boring, but thanks I guess,”

Spoken like a true descendant of Discord

Then lastly there was Diplomacy the most evil game ever invented by pony kind. If she could ever get a unicorn to find a way to travel through time she’d personally bite the games creator and burn the patent to the game.

I'd say the fandom has a Diplomacy-hatred problem, but it does destroy the thing that quite literally powers all magic. Like a board game Mario Party/Dokapon Kingdom.

And she’ll forget about me just like everypony else when they don’t want anything from me anymore …

Dangit I came here for puppy love, stop making me feel sad!

But if she goes will she find somepony else and forget about me? No! Stupid Diamond Tiara, Scootaloo wouldn’t just forget about me.

Nice to see that line of thought die, especially given Scoots' mother's story.

Sorry Deets

Most fics have DT reform before she becomes adorable. Not this one. That name has me smiling so hard it hurts

“Ha! You know how to make me laugh, but yes we need to stick together. After all other than Dinky and me I don’t think that you have the skill sets to make more friends. Seriously though I wish you the best with Scootaloo, and no matter what we’re still friends right?”

Yay SS gets personality!

Well … I wanted to -” Diamond Tiara stated before a fridge slammed into the lake near them, splashing them with water. Over at the other side Trajectory yelled, “Sorry! Miscalculated trajectory needed to freeze the sun!”

BWAHAHAHA!!!

Wait … like out out? Like as in fillyfriend out?” Scootaloo asked in shock.
“Well yeah … what’s the problem with that?” Diamond Tiara said.
“Nothing, but why do you want to ask me out to the Harvest Festival? I mean we’re not exactly enemies, but we’re not really close friends either. So why?”

Being surprisingly chill about that

Alright, but I don’t have to forgive them do I?” Diamond Tiara asked.
“No you don’t,”

Surprisingly blunt for a teacher.

But she’s supposed to be my knight in shining armor.

So, its therefore your job to save her Cadence-style.

“Well I wanted to ask Scootaloo out to the Harvest Festival.” She stated drawing D’awws from the couple.

And the audience.

“Well for starters, you should probably not resort to insulting ponies you’re asking for help,” Lyra said with a grin.

I can't believe I'm defending that, but its kinda cute. She really is trying, but its kinda how she is, at least for now

I decided that I’d try showing that there was more to me than a super cute, totally awesome pony, who happened to tell ponies how it was

So, Lyra was L!Rainbow as a filly

What do you mean Ms. Cheerilee?” Diamond asked tilting her head, “Am I not allowed to do a good deed every now and then?”
Cheerilee’s ear started twitching as her mind flashed back to a room filled with a swarm of locusts, the screams of students, and an army of angry gerbils,

Am I reading this out of order, or did i miss a fic?

Diamond Tiara looked at Scootaloo, a wide ecstatic grin bursting across her face as she started bouncing up and down, “Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a-bK58aAvR0

Scootaloo burst out laughing, “Okay, that was pretty cute.”
She said I was cute! *Squee*!!!!,

I'm running out of new ways to say "This is so damn cute"

“I’m not cute! I’m awesome, and radical. I don’t do cute,”

DT and the rest of your fans disagree

Or what if gold rather than silver was the most valuable metal in the world?

Just realized that SS's name now has a double meaning. Cool.

I’m not going to threaten to ruin your life and destroy you

For once, the Lunaverse avoids that.

She whispered before pulling Diamond Tiara into warm hug. Adding her wings to the mix holding her close. Diamond Tiara nuzzled close to Scootaloo’s coat before thinking. This is the best night ever.

O. T. P.

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