• Published 4th Apr 2014
  • 1,235 Views, 86 Comments

Fluttershy and Trixie, Pharmaceutical Sales Representatives - Majin Syeekoh



Fluttershy and Trixie shill drugs to doctors for money.

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Epilogue

Luna trotted into the Canterot Archives, where Celestia sat with bloodshot eyes over a series of papers.

“I’ve accompanied our new student to her quarters and taken her on as my personal protégé,” Luna said.

“That’s nice,” Celestia said as she hoofed through the mountain of papers before her, “sit down and join me.”

Luna sat down and raised an eyebrow as Celestia levitated a giant stack of papers over to Luna. “What am I supposed to do with this?” Luna asked.

“We’re looking for information on a Red Umbra, the name Rarity mentioned.”

Luna nodded and started sifting through the papers.

----

Red Umbra sat at her desk writing out sales reports with quill in mouth. The door opened and a grey unicorn stallion with a black mane trotted in. Red Umbra looked up, then back down as the stallion closed the door behind him.

“Your appointment to the Royal Guard should be finalized within the week, Obsidian Shield.”

Obsidian Shield nodded. “I take it the Captain was agreeable?

Red Umbra chuckled around the quill in her mouth. “He didn’t really have a choice.”

Obsidian Shield grunted. “Is he on Desoxyn?”

Red Umbra smiled, still writing. “Oh yes, and his entire unit, too. When I mention we could put him on the priority list for new shipments, he was so willing it was almost pathetic.”

Obsidian Shield looked away. “This new drug...aren’t you concerned about the neurotoxicity?”

Red Umbra chortled. “Why worry? Let them spill out of the schools and markets, let the braindead pile up in the streets. In the end, they’ll beg us to save them.”

Obsidian Shield raised an eyebrow, then started pacing. “I’ve received reports of attacks on shipments. The addicted are starting to get desperate.”

Red Umbra put her pen down and set her hooves on the table. “Of course they’re desperate. They can smell their fear, and the sound they’ll make rattling their cage will serve as a warning to the rest.”

Obsidian Shield looked at the ground. “Mmm. I hope you’re not underestimating the problem. We still have the Princesses to worry about.”

Red Umbra guffawed. “A bunch of pretentious old mares playing at running the world. But the world left them behind long ago. We are the future.”

----

Celestia threw down the papers in frustration. “I’ve looked through everything. Apparently, Red Umbra is a normal red pegasus mare with a black mane. She’s got a birth certificate, an I.D. card, a flight license, a business license, hell, even a carriage operating license!”

Luna kept sifting through papers, not looking up. “What business does she run?”

Celestia shook her head, then rested it in her hoof. “Transpicuous Pharmaceuticals.”

“I read about them in the paper today. They’re doing very well for themselves for having started up only a few years ago.”

Celestia could feel the gears working in her head. “But what does a pharmaceutical magnate have to do with Sombra?”

Luna paused, holding up a paper. “I think I’ve found something.”

----

Obsidian Shield locked eyes with Red Umbra. “We have other problems.”

Red Umbra raised an eyebrow. “The Elements?”

Obsidian Shield nodded. “They have a habit of sticking their noses where they don’t belong. I have someone in place, though. I’m more worried about Cadance.”

Red Umbra barked out a laugh. “Our biochem is far in advance of the Crystal Empire’s! And their...ethical inflexibility has allowed us to make progress in areas they refuse to consider.”

“The magic drugs?”

Red Umbra nodded. “Among other things. But I must admit, I’ve been somewhat disappointed with the performance of the DXM.”

Obsidian Shield grunted in derision. “The new drug should be on the market soon. It’s currently being pressed and will hit shelves in six months.”

----

Celestia looked up. She could feel the bags under her eyes. “What is it?”

Luna held up the piece of paper. “A death certificate for a Red Umbra.”

Celestia snatched the death certificate with her magic and looked it over. Her vision was slightly blurry, but she could still make out the time and date. Celestia frowned. “This can’t be right,” she said as she pulled over the birth certificate and compared it with the death certificate.

“What is it, sister?”

“According to this, Red Umbra died three minutes after she was born.”

Luna’s eyes widened at that. “An imposter?”

Celestia furrowed her brow. “It appears so, but the chances of another red pegasus mare with a black mane are astronomically low,” she said. She then looked up. “You don’t think…”

Luna hushed her with a wave of her hoof. “Don’t go jumping to conclusions. We’ll simply have a sit-down with this Red Umbra and talk it out like adults.”

Celestia frowned as she put the pieces of paper down. “I suppose that would be the best course of action. Besides, Cadance has been inviting me to check out Crystal Empire Foods for a while now. I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to see how Transpicuous operates.”

Luna smiled. “That’s better;now why don’t you get some rest and we’ll bring up the issue formally tomorrow?”

Celestia smiled as she stood up. “I suppose you’re right. Goodnight, Lulu.”

“Goodnight, Tia.” Luna said. With that, Celestia walked out of the archives. I wonder, though...could she be?

----

Red Umbra stood up, paced towards Obsidian Shield, and looked him straight in the eyes. “We've had to endure much, you and I, but soon there will be order again: A new age! Equinus spoke of the mythical city on the hill; soon that city will be a reality and we will be crowned its royals. Or better than royalty…” she said as her pupils and irises glowed a sickly green, “Gods!”

Comments ( 19 )

Well shit just hit the fan.

4306139

My thoughts exactly. Please tell me there's going to be a sequel.

Majin Syeekoh
Moderator

4307696 No, I'm ending the story on that note. What do you think?:derpytongue2:

4307702

Just making sure you weren't a Trolling Creator or anything. :raritywink:

Majin Syeekoh
Moderator

4307705 Now why would I do that?:trixieshiftright:

4307714

Author schaudenfreude. Case in point: every time I come up with a cliffhanger, I get a strange sense of satisfaction at knowing something that others are clamoring to know. :rainbowlaugh:

4307702 So Equestria is going to be like Escape From New York the part with the Crazies

Majin Syeekoh
Moderator

4313464 Point taken, but you have to remember that this is a comedey.

It may have been a little forced, though. No pun intended.

Majin Syeekoh
Moderator

4317131 I know, right?

Majin Syeekoh
Moderator

4397547 What makes the line creepy?

4397547 You mean that fanfic is really that bad? Wow it must be just as bad as Santa And The Ice Cream Bunny

Majin Syeekoh
Moderator

4585102 I'm glad you got that reference!

What, after months, no-one has pointed out the Deus Ex reference in this chapter? Red and Obsidian are almost quoting the intro. :twilightsmile:

5102153 And you reply to my comment within THIRTY SECONDS? Impressive, but I now have an image of you pressing Refresh for five months, waiting for someone to get the reference and comment... :rainbowlaugh:

Majin Syeekoh
Moderator

5102374 Fimfic is magic.

Majin Syeekoh
Moderator

5103318 Yeah, I was on Adderall when I was a kid and that just threw my aggression levels through the roof. They don't tell you that until it starts to come up.

Majin Syeekoh
Moderator

5349656 That's... pretty funny.

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