• Member Since 4th Oct, 2011
  • offline last seen April 28th

Melon Hunter


Gilda's reformed. She knows it—she feels it! All her anger is under control, there's no more aggression, and she doesn't even use 'dwee'—uh, 'the d-word' any more. Her psychiatrist, for all his infuriating and impenetrable language he uses, seems to have her situation under wraps. When he tells her of his exciting work with other ex-antagonists of Ponyville and their bright futures, Gilda jumps at the chance to make her own happy ending.

However, that would be reliant on Ponyville wanting to give her a second chance, and the town's patience for one-off ex-villains coming back has long since been wearing thin. Gilda will discover how to really win a do-over, all while battling an insidious life-coaching conspiracy, her own unreliable memory and Pinkie's bizarre Dia di los Huertos party.

What's a griffon got to do to get a break in this town?

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 16 )

I see this is marked incomplete. More please as this is quite funny and excellent. I love the idea of someone making money this way. :moustache:

4183363 Thanks very much! Now, I did accidentally mark the story as incomplete, but I think I might keep it that way. I don't think I'm done with Open Mind yet after all :rainbowwild:

This is genius. We need a follow up where Clear Mind and all the other one-offs team up to get revenge, and Gilda is a hero again!
(pst: heroes journey)

I cannot condone this, it isn't Equine Revolution...

Aw, who am I kidding? It's a neat idea by a fellow Escapist. To the read later list!

At first I thought she was going to say something like "I was cured, alright", like in a Clockwork Orange. It's funny, though, truly funny.:moustache:

Dear Princess Celestia,
We're moving. And we're not telling anypony where we're going. At least that way we won't keep having old enemies dropping by every week.
All of us.

Are Gilda and Rainbow living together?

This was some funny stuff, man.
I swear I shed tears of happiness at Applejay. Or Applejail. Whatever. Faving

Okay, that was really great! I especially loved Gilda's letter.

I guess not every doctor who comes across as a quack actually is one. Some are just jerks.

This was hysterical, Gilda's attempt at a letter/diary entry was comedy gold!
I don't see a lot of deconstructions (If that's the right word? I dunno, I didn't write the dictionary) of redemption fics, but this was great. :pinkiehappy:

4184055 Thanks! I'm glad I finally got that Equine Revolution chapter out of the way in the end :rainbowwild:

4184548 4184040 4185184 4192634 Thank you all! Glad I could entertain you!

4185071 No, they're just hanging out at her house. Twilight's there as security for the diary :pinkiehappy:

4194761 And the worst jerk is an opportunistic jerk!

4244727 Hehe, thanks! That's the issue with writing a story in a time limit; you can tend to miss out details that would have improved it. Definitely should have tried ribbing genuine redemption stories some more, but at the time I was far too caught up in the general concept of one evil psychiatrist being solely responsible for returning antagonists :rainbowwild: Glad you enjoyed it, none the less!

That was highly amusing. This has been sitting on my "read later" list for a while, but I am glad I finally got to it

Loved that you in a way reformed Gilda. I don't think she's that bad at all.
Hopefully she'll be back on the show sometime and patch things up with Dash :eeyup:

I don't usually read a lot of comedies because I run into a lot of them that just come off as feeling like they're trying too hard and I never seem to really end up liking them, but I decided to take a chance on this one. I was glad I did. I was a little skeptical of the setup for about the first half of the story, but it built into something that made me laugh and had an interesting deconstructionist twist with a good message about being genuine.

It was also technically solid. The spelling, grammar, and formatting were all very well-done, and some polish on these kinds of points of objective quality is nice to see.

All in all, I think it should have this ribbon:

Oh the hilarity of it all. I banged the table whilst reading this and that is a compliment I give to very few comedies. Especially the line “I want to really try and earn it. I’ll have as big a comeback as Trixie! And I’ll be as trustworthy as the Flim Flam Brothers! I’ll try and be just as reformed as Discord!” That right there was gold.

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