• Member Since 28th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen May 22nd, 2019


Comments ( 10 )

Author's Note:
This was originally written as part of a longer work, but I thought I'd bring it out on its own where it can stand apart from the story it was written for (which subverts the hell out of this). I would love to hear any comments you have!

But... '...smile betrayed her true feelings.'
Portrayed. Betrayed is to subvert or go against. Portray is to reveal, even to the chagrin of the revealer (RD in this case).

I really liked the story! : D Perhaps you could go read what I have written on mine so far? The first chapter is the only one thats 'finished'

She insists that she doesn't want all the pampering, but her smile reveals she does; it goes against what she says. I think betrayed is used correctly in this instance.

Also, very cute little story. My compliments to the author.

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Thank you both for your compliments!

Slightly short, but definitely a good story for its length. Sometimes it's hard to make something good out of something small, but you certainly pulled it off. Now to copy/paste it and put my OC in it... muahaha!:raritywink:

I'm glad you liked it. The malleability of the narrator was actually part of my intention when I pulled it out of where I wrote it. I wanted no mention of the narrator's name or description, and if you notice there's not even any indication what species he is, be it Pegasus, Unicorn, Earth Pony, or even human.

everything the description said it was. rated up for uber-d'awww.

I cringed.

That was very good! Very cute!

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