Scootaloo has a great life; a loving mother and a sister who are also her idols, and the best friends a pony could ask for. However, when Luna appears in one of her nightmares with an opportunity, Scootaloo makes a choice that will place her at the highest ranks of a new flight team, and that will ultimately put her in conflict with Equestria itself.
This story will involve other MLP characters from their own stories, but Scoots will be the center of it. Also Equestria will be going through a industrial revolution with more advance technology.
Un-tagged characters include: Rumble, Flash Sentry, Luna, Celestia, Thunderlane, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Spitfire.
P.S. I will change some parts of the story as the MLP season goes on.
Chapters (2)
Why are you all down voting his story? Just because the original owner advertised it?
I know it was wrong of him to say "I like your stories" when he had clearly not read them, but we all make mistakes. We all do things we regret. Why down vote a story for that? Maybe instead of hate, we should give him some TLC?
We live in a judgemental world
ppfffhhhttttt
~FP
4384699 Thank you.
4384699
What's TLC?
4384699 There were a lot of mistakes made beyond that, and they all contributed to the down votes to some extent. There was the fact that this was an unauthorized sequel to two stories, and was advertised as such, the fact that the author deleted a pretty big number of comments, once deleting an entire chapter's worth, if I'm not mistaken, and that he generally failed to put forward an ideal portrait of himself in those selfsame comments.
The advertising was a big contributor, however, as beyond the fact that it was annoying, it also, y'know, advertised. It was a thing that caused The Parasprite to write a pretty scathing review of the work, and attracted readers of his and readers of the advertisements alike. Finally, it's critical to note that this story, while certainly not the worst thing in existence, also isn't really all that good. Before I edited it, this story was running a massive downvote deficit, which should be clear if you check the rating chart for it. After editing, it managed to hit about twice as many likes as dislikes, but that's not exactly the best state in the world. Ultimately, the story's quality wasn't enough to bear the weight of the author's decision making, which is what brings us to now.
4385323 there are many unauthorised sequels to stories out there, but you don't see all of them being down voted. I will admit the story isn't as good as some others, but I have seen far worse stories and they all have still got more likes then dislikes.
The main principle of the down voting is because he advertised and then because of the Parasprites blog. I bet you that most people who down voted this story haven't even read it, they are just going by what he said.
4385221 Tender Loving Care
4385177 no problemo
4389760 As I said, it's a confluence of factors. Had he handled it better, moved to eliminate the sequel element faster, not deleted a mass of comments, and not lied to folks about various things, then he probably could have averted a lot of the downvotes he obtained. It's also notable that I'm pretty sure that a good number of the downvotes occurred after the story did that weird thing where it was completely taken down, and then put back up pretty similar to the original. A lot of mistakes were made, and it all adds up to the author being reasonably at fault for the downvoting. It doesn't help that he apparently literally asked The Parasprite to do a review of his story for some unfathomable reason.
4389760
4389849
To tell you the truth. I don't really care about the up or down votes. I just want as many people to see the story, but I wouldn't go spamming all over the place.
1# aww and cool
2# oooo
4390705 Really you didn't go spamming...
4415877 What do you mean?
4416054 My userpage
Oh my hell, it is the exact same story, minus the airplane shit.
Did you even bother to get a editor or a Pre-reader before doing this? Seriously, you need to do what people were telling Ace. Tear the story apart and rebuild it.
4384699
blogs.isb.bj.edu.cn/17duncanj/files/2014/04/Gif-One.gif
It speaks!
I swear this is the third or fourth time I've seen this on the recently updated list with the EXACT SAME TWO CHAPTERS.
4425760 What? It actually contained elements for ace combat? hehe x)
4416151 ummmmm just me or does it say "user don't exist" for eveyone?
4489092 Well now I'm having a existential crisis.
4487213
Yeah, shit there's that too. There's nothing on the game in here.
Not liking it that much, but ill hold on a little longer
4416151 I'm sure you probably caught the error by now, but that comment was from the PREVIOUS author, who HAD been spamming story and user pages with insistent pleas to read this dreck. This guy's the guy that our old pal had the story transferred over to, and he hasn't said anything in promotion of it other than making a blog post saying he was hosting and continuing it now. Not that I've seen any actual continuation...
Also, the reason people are getting "User does not exist" when trying to click that link is because you changed your username after linking it, and that link redirects to the old username, which, yes, doesn't exist.
4531400 Thanks didn't know.
You should bury this story, bury it deep and start over from the beginning.
(EDIT) Oops.
where is the update
this is in the recently updated pages
so why is there no new chapter
..Maybe I could offer some assistance.
Skype: StealthDash22 (Jetstream)
I'm confused... So much has been said, done, and taken away from this story where is the point of continuation? I understand the story has been around the block a few times... But at this point I can't see why you'd harm yourself with hate comments due to the previous author's faults. In my opinion, which is up to you to follow, is make another story. If you have the skills/proofreaders then you will be better off with your own ideas.
That's my input, have a good day.
In all honesty, this isn't as bad as people are saying; But, I don't know for sure. I heard it was worse when the original author wrote it, So it's nice to see that this was fixed... slightly.
To start, the pacing is a bit off. For example, that history lesson was only a few words long, and classes aren't that short.
Second, it appears that many of these scenes look a bit unneeded... for now. I mean, do we really need to know about Scootaloo's past and romantic interest now? Why can't it be built up or placed well in several parts of the story? Also, why have the summary look say that Equestria is under an industrial revolution? I refer you to my previous question for that.
So, in conclusion. This isn't god awful... But I don't know how the original version was like (Though I heard it was worse.), so it's best to say that it's not good.
On the bright side, I did like the premise. Though, if the original author was going to make it a sequel of "The order" and "My mother is a Wonderbolt", it would've been best that he said that it was an unofficial one and actually put links to the original stories. It's quite sad to see that he'd go out of his way to make sure his story became popular... which is a grave mistake that ANY author should avoid. To quote the Nostalgia critic in his review of 'The lorax', "That's why is better to focus on being good rather than popular. If you could be both, great; But if you had to choose one over the other, Always pick good over popular..."
It's also a despicable tactic as well. All this time, he was pretty much lying to every author out there; giving them false hope as he asks them to read his own story. However, he's entitled to forgiveness nonetheless. That's why I hope he learned his lesson, even after he tried to get away from the backlash he created. "Love and Tolerance" is not just an internet lesson, but a life lesson as well, looks like many Bronies and Pegasisters out there need to look more deeper into the show's morals rather than into its humor.
4466802
Or it could be Chrysalis talking for her...
... We may never know.
Cool.
So, you going to get an editor for this thing?
4821349 The author is banned, so I highly doubt it.
4825588
Oh, seriously? Whelp, I feel stupid.
So what happened to this dude?
4885715
That some good heart warming shit right there that's as good as those damn good butter buns damn this is good you sir get a motherfucker like for this story and you better damn finish of or I will come to your house and burn it with a lemon!
Finish it!
4903875
I was along how he was banned.
4909140
Probably something to do with his spamming everyone's userpage, if I had to guess.
4907020 He can't, he's banned.
5121406 Wut...?