• Member Since 17th Feb, 2014
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MagnetBolt


T

This story is a sequel to The Shadow of the Mare


After the events of The Shadow of the Mare, Loop D'Loop takes up the cape and cowl of Mare Do Well in a bid to get more love and affection from the ponies around her. But a few careless mistakes lead to events spiraling out of control, and it's only a matter of time before she's revealed as the changeling she really is.

Chapters (15)
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Comments ( 68 )

I look forward to more tales of the Masked Made and the Muster of the Medals of Ohmizet.

Dang, this is really good! I'm looking forward to reading more.

Hmm, wonder if Jet's gonna try her hoof at being a masked hero? This may not end well for her if the real thugs want to end Mare Do Well. And if she's caught by the guard, she'll end up accused of a number of crimes, even if it's all circumstantial (they can't prove she was Mare Do Well, other than being somepony wearing the costume).

Is the the neural shock the result or a condition from a changeling's blast to the face? Her mentioning of painkillers not effecting it seems to indicate it's not a result, like a bruise, but a condition, as if there's an active parasite in her-- or in this case, changeling magic present in her system. The doctors have no idea what it is or the means to scan for it, thus it's a mystery symptom that leads them to hope it goes away with invasive surgery. I can see Loop's problem here. If she cleans up her mess, the injured guard will know without a doubt who Mare Do Well is, not to mention the caped crusader is also a changeling. If she tries to do it with Jet in custody, her friend will be even more suspect of things she never did. A half-decent lawyer could get her off all charges; but waiting in jail till a trial date roll around won't be nice.

Ass Kicker, was that a nod towards the green costumed Kickass who's very good at getting beat up? :rainbowlaugh:

This was a great chapter! :pinkiehappy: Excitement and thrills all around,woo!

I hope Songbird doesn't turn into some villian that's always trying to out Mare Do Well, kind of like the Green Goblin's origin story from Spiderman. But then again, this is Equestria and not some dark comic world. More likely she'll get caught up in something created by the real villians, like a fatal trap, only to get saved my Mare Do Well. On the other hand, for serious criminals, solitary confinement tends to mean being added to the Royal Gardens as another statue.

I'm still wondering if the damage caused by the changeling magic can also heal it-- though, that would be the biggest nail in the coffin as far as keeping Mare Do Well, Loopy, and the changeling's real identities secret and separate. An ideal Batman situation would have only a very select few know she's a changeling working for the good guys; like Jetstream, Twilight (all the Princesses by proxy) and the local police commissioner. Might have to get an older stallion butler and a mansion with secret caves under it. Heh. :rainbowlaugh:

for future reference in case it ever comes up it has been confirmed that though chrysalis thinks of most lifeforms as food sources she does care about her people

4242595 Not everyone regards the comics as canon.

Another great chapter. I am very interesting in seeing how this all plays out!

Well, it was bound to happen eventually. Loopy's best outcome would be to gain the confidence of those that know the secret of Mare Do Well so they can help keep it that way through misdirection and misinformation.

Loopy's probably sweating bullets right now... :twilightoops:

Um... I think you have Jetstream and Songbird mixed up at the beginning. :twilightblush:

4340694
I think this is a sign that I have not had the right amount of caffeine or alcohol. Or both. I don't know if it's too much or too little, but it's definitely not the right amount! :derpytongue2:

I have no idea why this has so few likes, it's one of the best stories I've read, especially given its episodic style.

sounds like a cross between poison ivy and Mr. freeze

Good tension, good humor, and an interesting protagonist, but I don't feel I can fave yet. The characters seem too . . . is pliable the right word? Like they have a spine to them, but when the plot so requires, that spine can easily be bent. Songbird in particular shifts easily to focusing solely on hunting Mare-Do-Well, then shifts easily to working together with Mare-Do-Well until the reveal or her identity, a change that could have worked more gradually over a longer time, but feels sudden over the course of one fight scene. Jetstream bends more in intelligence than in goals, but I'm similarly unsure what exactly to make of her--is she a competent ditz, a complete idiot, or somewhere in between? Generally speaking, it feels like the puppet strings are too visible, and that can be quite harmful to suspension of disbelief.

Oof, that was a pretty brutal fight with at least two graphic fatalities. I guess it's up to our masked hero to turn herself in as promised. Maybe keeping her word after all that time will sway Songbird into NOT turning her over to the guards?

OH, THE COINCIDENCE! cover art matches the Maredowell icon

I have some very interesting head cannon concerning changelings if you're interested

Uh oh. How very Knightfall! :pinkiegasp:

Found a typo:

Now that she new Jet was going to be okay,

- knew

4440367
When I wrote it, there weren't any typos! I'd know because I don't remember writing any. This is clearly the work of Discord.

4441434
That sounds like the kind of thing a changeling infiltrator would say. Very suspicious.

That was little obvious (because of too much pointing at this probably ;p) but interesting is that what Chrysalis want to do with him if he is still alive

Oh ho hoh. That doesn't sound good.

Next time: Everypony actually sits down and talks to one another. Dragons everywhere! Everypony becomes a statue! One of those things is not true.

What if that statement is not true?

4519972
How can words be real when our eyes aren't real? :trixieshiftright:

4520716
Because even with fake eyes you can read it :D

if chrysalis was to be a Batman villain. The only three that would pop into my mind would be Mr. freeze, poison ivy and Ra's al ghul. though each one of them is antagonist They do possess a code of honor in some form. I'm going to guess that you're going for a Ra's al ghul type which does make sense in various levels (Note I don't mean the movie interpretation)

but this leads me to ask a question, who would be the Joker?

Of course it's named Labyrinth. There's a minotaur at the center. :rainbowlaugh:

Comment posted by VcSaJen deleted Jun 14th, 2014

Hmmm... so,
1) After fail of Canterlot invasion, changelings turned on their Queen.
2) Chrysalis putted on act, manipulated changelings with "The Pity Play" and
3) redirected their anger to deserter scout changelings and thus secured her rule. Pretty logical so far.
4) She going to fix hunger problem with... Destroying entire town and further agitating rest of the changelings against scouts? Er...


Oh, I hope Loopy isn't going to hide "green pupils" titbit from Jet in the next chapter.

Please keep writing this.

Always do proper research on any and all dangerous creatures that you intend to use as weapons.

4935537
She has many lines of clothing, some of which she sells discretely via mail-order. :raritywink:

4937177 I'm honestly completely torn between not been able to believe it, and believing it absolutely!

Yep, as soon as I saw guano, sulfur, and saltpeter I knew where that was going. :moustache:

Toro harvested a bunch of the venom so I'm guessing there's going to be a lot of new statues soon.

Please continue this story.

So... How dead is this story?

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