• Member Since 2nd Apr, 2014
  • offline last seen Aug 8th, 2015

Sea_Swirl


Yo! Ello people! Let's get right to the point. My favorite pony is: Applejack! Favorite Princess: Princess Skyla or Princess Luna f your talking the show -.- and Favorite CMC: Sweetie belle/Scootaloo!

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Skyla is a pony filled with wonder and adventure but is always kept within the castle walls but never let out, finally when she is let out trouble strikes. this is the story of Princess Skyla.... (at least in my head)

alright the characters in here are: Princess Twilight Sparkle, The mane 6, Flash, Oc's, Skyla as other, King Sombra, Queen Chrysalis, Spike, and some changelings.

Chapters (9)
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Comments ( 40 )

Hey guys sorry I used a bad blue for shining armor if you have RD's background to read and there is nothing in the light blue then that's shining armor speaking the text is blended in sorry about that :applecry:

Eye bet you put this through you're spell chequer be four publishing this tail.

Pretty good. It's sound like an adorable story, but a few grammar issues that could be fixed, here and there.

"she's an alicorn" Princess Cadence said with a smile.
"what are you going to name her?" Twilight asked
"well I like the name Skyla" Cadence giggled

Always remember to capitalize the first letter in a sentence, and remember to use commas and other proper punctuation.
Also, periods inside and outside the when dialogue is taking place, as well.

"She's an alicorn." Princess Cadence said with a smile.
"What are you going to name her?" Twilight asked.
"Well, I like the name Skyla." Cadence giggled.

A few silly things like that doesn't kill a story, it just a bit of an annoyance to the reader. Besides that, this story will be cash.
Best of luck in your writing! :yay:

Is this your first story? If it is I completely understand.:pinkiehappy:

Finally a Skyla story. She is so cute.


If you need an editor, I am available.

I just realized, why didnt a guard ho with them?
Yes Breazle is her companion, but he can do little to fully protect her

Changing spells already?! Twi didnt do it until season 3

How does spike not recognize her, he was there after she was born

This story is awesome! I don't know why everyone's hating on it!:raritywink:

4627617 Awww thanks it was really bad but im starting to go through it and changing it so its hopefully better but thanks for the nice comment :twilightsmile:

4627617
This could be explained thusly. The Brony community distrusts Equestrian Princesses outside of Celestia, Luna, and possibly even Cadence. In fact, whenever they SEE a new princess, these emoticons come to mind: :applecry::facehoof::raritycry::raritydespair::flutterrage::fluttershbad::fluttercry::fluttershysad::pinkiesad2::rainbowhuh::unsuresweetie:.
I'm not gonna mock this great community, which seemingly is too cynical, mean-spirited, or bored to believe that the sanity of Equestria, and of the series My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, could possibly survive with more than two or three princesses. Matter of fact, this could be a whole lot simpler. The last episode of Season 3 worked in re-writes of the character Twilight Sparkle, re-writes that were controversial for the reasons that I described.

4708900 well there is a possibility I'm not saying she will but tree is a possibility that Skyla will show up in season 5 or maybe other seasons if hasbro makes them because she isn't an OC hasbro has her as am official baby doll she is rumored either cadences baby sister or her daughter maybe even possibly Twilight's and flash's daughter but I chose to belive she is cadence's and shining armor's filly, I do have good plans for this story and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy making it and making the chnacaters in it

OMG. The colts and fillies are really cute

4718008 Thanks! they take about 2 days for each so I hope you do :twilightsmile:

i really like it hope to read more soon:twilightsmile:

4730451 Your wish is my command I just got done with the next chapter :pinkiehappy: I hope you like it!

4730487 that is grate to hear thank you for letting me know:twilightsmile:

SO CUTE:pinkiehappy: on how Blue Ivy is trying to keep her safe :raritystarry:and Mr. Blue is Blue Ivy big brother or something :rainbowhuh: i really liked it hope to read even more soon :twilightsheepish: but do take your time as well :twilightsmile:

4730584 I'll Explain Blue Ivory more as I get into the story :raritywink:

Meet an adventurous little princess that had trouble written all over!

A SWEETIE BELLE FILM
PRINCESS SKYLA
Original Music Scored by JERRY FIELDING
Original Songs Composed by BABS SEED and APPLE BLOOM
Written by CARL GOTTLIEB from the novel by PrincessSkyla
Produced by HARVEY BERNARD and BUTTON MASH
Directed by SWEETIE BELLE
ORIGINAL SOUNDTRACK AVAILABLE ON UNITED ARTISTS RECORDS & TAPES.
FILMED IN SUPER PANAVISION 70®. COLOR BY DELUXE®.

A SKYLA FILMS PRODUCTION

Released thru
UNITED ARTISTS

Copyright © MCMLXXVI by Skyla Films, Ltd., Canterlot, EQ. Released by United Artists Corporation.

4730770 nice idea for movie poster, kid.:raritystarry::coolphoto:

This is not the worst story I have read, nor is it the best. Truth be told, I only got as far as the first chapter and only glanced at the second and I think I know why you have dislikes.

First is the fact that you have an alicorn OC. This is a major turnoff and on thing that gets people riled up to downvote a story. I'm not one to automatically hate alicorn OCs so you have a more unbiased opinion here.

The biggest issue I see is the grammar and story telling quality. You need to get and editor to address the grammar issues as there are several. As for the story telling, taking into account the pictures you provide, you basically have a illustrated storybook for young readers. Work out the grammar issues and you have a good story for younger readers. With what little I read, you do have the cute aspect covered for the most part.

Should you go for deeper stories that are for older readers, even teen or beyond, you have some other things to address. Primarily is the descriptive language. Your first chapter has some descriptive language though it is limited and shows your status as a new writer. The second chapter is filled entirely of dialogue. The descriptive language allows you to answer the question: "What is going on?"; "What do things look like?"; "How do the characters interact with the world around them and each other?" Being able to answer these questions stretches the capability of your story and draws the reader along, eager for more.

A couple of other things to consider is to lose the pictures and work on the story layout. The layout is something to always look at to make it easy for the reader to read the story without getting lost in a wall of words as you have in the first chapter. The pictures are a distraction and should not be used in stories for older readers and potentially higher ratings.

I will not rate your story nor give you a like or dislike as this is written well enough for younger readers yet still contains mistakes that need to be addressed. I wish you luck on this story and any other stories you may write in the future.

LOL LOVE IT:rainbowlaugh: and she will be in BIG trouble when they find out:derpyderp1:

4796559 Princess Skyla actually is not an OC alicorn she is part of Hasbro if you look her up she is a Hasbro toy. As for the young reader stuff and grammar I don't have an editor at the moment and am trying to work on my story telling. Sorry if you don't like it :fluttershysad:


4796680 lol

4796960 I apologize for thinking Skyla was an OC when she is not. I don't keep up with Hasbro's toys. I'm sure when you find an editor you will do much better. Don't worry about me not liking it. As I said, it is good enough to not deserve a dislike, however, it is just not my kind of story. I mostly read this because of the number of dislikes compared to likes and wanted to see why. I have grown to enjoy writing reviews for beginning writers in an effort to help them grow better at something they want to do. The true test for if you really want to do this is how you respond the criticism. I think you have a good future as long as you strive to get better. :twilightsmile:

4797051 Its alright and thanks :pinkiesad2: it means a lot :scootangel:

4797140 No problem. You are free to talk to me should you need any further help. :twilightsmile:

I like it, but you need to have a new paragraph every time someone talks, like this:

"I love cupcakes!" Pinkie Pie said.
"Oh yeah, well I like Skittles!" Rainbow Dash argued.
"Everypony stop!" Twilight Sparkle yelled, "We all know milkshakes are the best."

And also capitalize after every period and dialogue quote:

Incorrect:
Once Upon A Time, In The Magical Land of Equestria, There Lived Two Regal Sisters.

Incorrect:
once upon a time, in the magical land of equestria, there lived two regal sisters. Also: Once upon a time, in the magical land of equestria, there lived two regal sisters.

Correct:
Once upon a time, in the magical land of Equestria, there lived two regal sisters.

There were a few other things in there, but I won't bombard you about them. Other than that, love it! Definitely redeemed the other Princess Skyla story I read. It was "kinda" bad.

Nice! Just some tiny capitalization errors, but otherwise amazing!:pinkiehappy:

5241546
5241570

Thanks!!!! yes the capitalization is one of my flaws I'm kind of used to capitalizing at random places but I have an editor now and before I send it to her I'm starting to use grammar check on word. But thanks I'm glad you like the story! I'm trying to get the next chapter out soon.

Aw yeah. whoop. next chapter, here i come, can twit for them to find out their precious daughter isn't quite the perfect angel:scootangel::heart:

5264192 lol yep she's always the little stinker when she gets the chance :raritywink:

Do they get kidnapped and dissapear into oblivion!?

They're fine...? Odd, normally kids get abducted in stories like these.

"This is when yolo comes in."

"Yolo? What that?"

*eye twitch*

Sure... Why not!? Let the kid go on a week long sleepover! Don't think about what the other kid's parent might think! Nope! It's okay with you, so therefore it's okay with them! It's not like that's an IMMENSE burden on someone else!

This kid Skyla, I swear...

She's a cheesy cliche character, but like a piece of moldy Colby jack cheese that somehow ended up getting into circulation and then ended up on my cheeseburger. In the sense that I don't notice how bad she is after the first bite but after a few more chews I find myself growing ill. At the same time I can't blame the cheese for being bad, it just got that way naturally overtime. I can blame the manufacturer though, so Cadence and Shining Armor are at fault here right? They're the inspectors! They're in charge of making sure moldy cheese doesn't harm the populace, right! Well I hope you're happy mister hoity toity inspector! YOU RUINED MY DINNER WITH YOUR MOLDY CHEESE!

5465310 Sorry if you're not pleased with this story, it was my first story and I was still getting used to trying to write something good. Thanks for your feedback so I can tell how to write my stories better in the future! :twilightsmile: I may actually re-write this a little and put some more description in it someday.

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