Will You Keep My Secret?

by xCobaltRainx

The Two Sisters

Note:

Alright guys, this is the final chapter. Sorry to say, but it's already at the point where, if someone who hasn't read this were to look at it, it'd seem a bit too long to get into.

Enjoy!

Chapter Sixteen
The Two Sisters

Scootaloo was awake.

Rainbow Dash was surprised at how she took the news. Of course she was overjoyed that her sister was up, but she was wary of how Scootaloo would react to the inevitable realization that it was her sister's fault in the first place. Dash's anxiousness showed in the crease in her brow, defensive position, and distant eyes.

Dash continued staring at the nurse until Twilight broke the silence.

"Oh, that's wonderful!" she said as she looked to her blue friend. Saying that her friend was a just a little off-put would have been a joke. "Rainbow, aren't you happy?"

"Uhh…y-yeah," Dash stammered, "of course I am! But, there's just...something. I...I dunno, it's nothing." The mare attempted a smile, but the result was more than underwhelming.

"What is it?" asked Twilight, prodding for information.

Dash made eye contact with everyone at once. "I-I don't know how to tell her that this is all my fault. That…that I'm the reason she and all of us are even here."

"Whatever do you mean?" asked Rarity.

Rainbow Dash looked to the nurse. "Could you give us a minute?" she asked.

"'Course, hon.' Y'all call me in when you're ready to see 'er."

"Thanks," Dash said as she looked to the floor. Once the office door for the help desk was shut, and Dash had stared at the floor for a while, she began.

"I've been thinking," she started. Dash paused for long enough to elicit worry from her friends. The five moved in closer and opened their eyes wider to coax the rest of her answer out.

After much consideration, Dash's chosen words spilled. "I've been thinking... it's my fault she got hurt because... I mean if I would have adopted her instead of leaving for a month, something she didn't want me to do...then she wouldn't have been in the fire. She wouldn't have gotten hurt..."

Applejack scoffed. "Is that what you're fussin' about? You know you couldn't have foreseen that fire takin' place. It ain't your fault that she was there."

Rainbow Dash regarded her friend's encouraging words, but nevertheless couldn't get past her judgement. "But if I would have taken her outta there when I should have, then we'd all be just fine. Scoots might be a bit sad the the building burned down, but she would have been okay. And with her wing thing, I'm not sure if she will be okay..."

"Aw shucks, sugarcube, Ah'm sure she'll be just fine once she gets a bit of rest."

"No she won't Applejack!" Dash retaliated with a stamp of her hoof. "She's not gonna be okay! Her wing's gonna be busted forever, and she'll hate me for longer!" Dash fell to her haunches and hung her head with a huff.

Twilight walked forward and put her hoof on the Dash's shoulder. "Rainbow, listen. She'll be okay. Even if she isn't... well... you know she loves you, so why are you worried that she'll hate you?"

After another moment of thought, Rainbow spoke with her head still hung. "Do any of you know what it's like to have somepony tell you that you probably won't ever do what you're... you're supposed to do?" Dash looked to all of her friends for an answer. However, she received nothing but silence. Though Fluttershy had had that experience, she chose to remain quiet, not for her timidness, but for her consideration of her friend.

"It's terrifying," Dash continued. "When I was just about to turn six, I was told that I'd always have difficulty flying." Dash took a moment to let the information sink in. "Obviously," she continued, "I beat the doctor's diagnosis by a pretty huge margin. It was tough, but I was able to get past it. But Scootaloo won't get past this if that beam damaged her wing beyond repair." Dash stood up. "There's something you guys need to know. Right now, flight is everything to Scootaloo. It was something her and I could do together, and something that would allow her to truly feel like somepony worth noticing! There's no way she'd forgive me for taking that from her."

Dash flicked her eyes around to gaze among her five friends. Knowing there was nothing for them to say, Rainbow Dash continued. "Look, can you guys just promise me that you won't tell her anything about this? I want to do it myself."

"Alright," said Rarity. "We all promise not to say a word." The other four nodded in assent.

"Thanks guys" Dash said as she surveyed their faces. She reminded herself of an item she still held in her wing. With it came a thought that brought a sweet feeling. "I have one more thing to ask of you guys." She opened her wing slightly to show the folder. "Can all of you stay in here for a bit? I wanna take a moment alone with her. She is technically mine, after all."

The others nodded again and found seats quietly; Pinkie was an exception with her snort of laughter and notion of "Mama Dash." The blue mare scoffed and flexed all but one of the primaries on her free wing at Pinkie's back. Fluttershy gasped and put her hoof to her mouth, but again said nothing.

Dash went to the desk and rang the bell. As soon as the nurse saw the mare, she knew her intentions. Playfully, the olive green pony berated Dash.

"Girl, you been talkin' with them so long, I thought you was gon' stay in that room 'till that filly came out for you he'self."

"Sorry," she responded. "Sometimes with that crowd, it's a good idea to get the mushy stuff out of the way first."

"Well, prepare yourself, 'cause that foal has been askin' about you since the minute her lil' eyes fluttered open. I'm gettin' the feeling that you ain't outta the woods just yet."

"I really never thought I'd say this, but I can't wait until I get back to it."

The two ponies continued walking down the white-washed hallways until they stopped at a door with bold characters spelling "12-B" fixed to it. Dash had to suppress a chuckle, lest she elicit more sass from the nurse. "Would you look at that," she said under her breath.

"Wait here, hon'," the nurse said before lightly tapping at the door. She waited a second or two before walking halfway through the door. "Scootaloo, honey, Ah'm back."

Rainbow Dash strained her mind while she waited for the filly's response. When it eventually came, Dash was horrified.

"Is she here?" an unseen Scootaloo asked in an extremely docile voice that completely lacked emotion or thought. The mare wanted desperately to push the nurse out of the way and fly to the filly, but decided against it. To her relief, the pony blocking her way moved and allowed entrance to Dash.

Though she couldn't get the filly's words out of her head, Dash hoped to see Scootaloo bouncing on the bed as she entered, but was instead met with a very tired looking foal staring back at her. She lied under the covers with her hooves on the blanket. Both her eyes and head were sunken, the latter into a pillow. Both Scootaloo and Rainbow Dash smiled as the mare walked in. She quickly closed the distance between the door and the bed, then carefully wrapped her hooves around her sister's body. Dash did her best to cradle her, at which point the nurse allowed them privacy.

"How are you?" Dash whispered.

"Tired..." Scootaloo responded. The mare giggled at her optimism, then kissed Scootaloo's mane.

"That makes two of us."

They shared a laugh and sat in each other's company for a long while. Dash decided to keep the meager excuse for a conversation going. She lifted the covers and peered at her sister's bandaged wing.

"Does it hurt?" she asked.

Scootaloo squirmed a bit before responding. "Kinda."

"Well, it'll feel better soon. Just keep it still."

The conversation once again dropped off for another while before Scootaloo broke the silent air. "Rainbow Dash?" she said.

"Yeah?"

"...Thank you."

Dash looked down at Scootaloo. "For what?"

Scootaloo giggled at her sister's joke. "For saving me, duh."

The mare ruffled her sister's mane. "You don't have to thank me for that, kiddo." Dash went silent for a moment. "Comes with the job."

They sat in silence again, with the filly breaking it once more. "Rainbow Dash?"

"Yeah?"

"Where are the others?"

"Who, our friends?"

"No, I mean the others at Oakside. It burned down, so... do you know where we're going?"

Dash shook her head. "Yeah, it did. It's just a pile of ash now." To her annoyance with herself, the mare saw that Scootaloo had grown somber with the poorly chosen words. "Well, don't worry; wherever the others are going, you aren't going with them." She grabbed the folder in her mouth and deposited it onto the bed. Scootaloo stared at it, wondering what both it and Dash's words could mean.

Dash was more careful of her words. "How are you feeling? Like, on a scale of one to completely out of it, how good can you focus?"

"Why?"

"Just 'cause."

"Hmm... I guess about a three? Kinda tired."

"Well," Dash began, "I heard that a certain somepony decided to, well, take you under her wing. For good."

"R-" Scootaloo started. "Really?" She finished, her tone shifting from listlessness to pure delight. Her ears and back straightened up from excitement. Every part of her seemed to come back to life. There was only one pony who she could suspect would do such benevolent act. "Was it...was it you?"

Rainbow Dash brought her wings around to wrap around the hopeful pony. "You're not goin' anywhere, kiddo." She released a hoof and used it to flip open the folder. It revealed the adoption certificate, with Dash's signed name in big letters on the dotted line towards the bottom. Beautiful gold trimming bordered the thick, soft paper. A wax seal of approval was stuck to the left of the signature where Kindheart had made the document official.

Scootaloo simply sat there, unmoving as she made sense of what was happening. Soon, she slowly lifted her arms and wrapped them around Dash's waist. The weak, yet strong hug was met by Dash with a widening of her smile and further tightening. She landed in the golden zone between a gentle hug and a strong, loving, sisterly embrace.

Suddenly, there was a small tap at the door. Dash cast her eyes to it and gave permission to enter. Thinking the guests to be her friends, she began speaking as if it were them.

"Hey guys, how's-" She stopped when she saw who it was that had entered.

"Hello," said a beige coated stallion with a brown mane. Dash stared at this vaguely familiar and subconsciously disliked doctor.

She let go of her sister and got back on four legs. After searching for where she knew him from, she realized that this was the doctor that oversaw her own wing injury. "Oh hey, Doctor Stable!"

"Yes. I'd like to go over Scootaloo's condition with you now," said the doctor.

Dash looked at her sister's bandaged wing, and panic began to trickle in. It was slow at first, but soon it grew until it could not be willed away. "S-sure, what's going on?"

Stable pulled a large, clear, black and white sheet out of a carrier resting on the adjacent counter top and pinned it on a square light on the wall. The sheet featured an image of a young pegasus wing, with a rather large split just before the end of the bone. Dash was nearly overcome with dismay as she viewed the break.

"Now, as you can see here," said Stable as he pointed his hoof at the broken bone, "the humerus of Scootaloo's left wing has suffered a small fracture."

"Small?!" she said in her mind. "S-so…" Dash began shakily, "i-is that bad? Like, can it be fixed?" Rainbow Dash felt her heart racing and her muscles clenching at what could possibly be some of the worst news she'd ever hear.

Stable chuckled slightly at what he perceived as unnecessary worry coming from the mare. "Well, of course it can be fixed!" Stable began. "It already is, practically. What you had a few months ago, Miss Dash, was far worse than what we have here. I predict little Scootaloo will be checked out and back home this afternoon. Although she'll be home, it's absolutely imperative that she stays grounded until the bone has fully healed." Stable ended his diagnosis with a trained smile.

Waves of warm relief rushed over Rainbow Dash, who almost required support from the bed to keep from falling. She was nearly calm by the time the blood rush had subsided. Unfortunately, Dash was unaware of the fact that she was breathing just a bit too heavily, and shaking just a bit too violently.

"Um, Rainbow Dash, are you okay?" asked Scootaloo as she nudged her sister's side.

Dash breathed heavily a while longer before answering the question.

"Yeah…yeah…I'm okay…it's just…I thought your wing was broken really bad…and…and I guess I was kind of worried that you wouldn't be able to...well...fly anymore…" Dash put her front hooves up on the bed and nuzzled the orange filly. She told herself that it was for Scootaloo's comfort, but she knew that it had been for her own.

"She should be fine after a few days," said Stable, turning to Scootaloo. "But after the cast is off, you must remain out of the air for just a couple more." His interruption of the moment caused Dash to cast an annoyed glare his way. The doctor, unfazed, continued. "Well then, Miss Dash, aside from the problems in her wing, your daughter has nothing ailing her that's too different from what you have." He indicated the small bandages that adorned the filly in a similar fashion to Dash. When the mare spun her head back to him, he offered a knowing wink.

Stable exited the room, at which time Scootaloo looked at Dash. "Am I really your daughter now?"

The mare put her hoof to her chin and considered her new role. "Well...kinda, in a way. Officially, like on papers, you are, but we can stay sisters if you want."

Scootaloo giggled and pushed her nose through the fur on Dash's neck. "Yeah, let's do that."

Within the deep part of her mind, the mare felt relief. There was no way she could handle or be worthy of that title. Even saying the phrase "I'm a mom" in her mind made her cringe. Dash put her mind at ease and relished in the calm of the moment.

After some time, which the two had lost track of, there was a tap at the door. "Come in," Dash called.

Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, Twilight, Pinkie, and the newly arrived other two Crusaders filled the spot left vacant by the doctor. Dash got out of her resting position and allowed Scootaloo's two friends to jump onto the bed to begin chattering about Celestia knows what. To occupy her own time, Dash got up and began conversing with her own friends. Time faded and blurred with their mutual good spirits and the overall wellness of everyone in the room.

---

Epilogue

Up in the most extravagant tower in Canterlot, the great Princess of the land and Sun, Celestia, sat on her poofy, purple cushion. She busied herself with going over some new bits of legislature from the Royal Court. Suddenly, a small, green-streaked cloud floated into her chamber through her window. It popped with a magical spark, and a scroll appeared in its place. Intrigued, the princess opened it and began reading. Her eyes slowly scanned the parchment, and as she read her already broad grin grew larger. Finally, as she finished the last line, she called down the hall for her sister to enter.

"Luna, come quickly! You must read this."

After a moment, the large door to the royal chamber slowly creaked open, and through the crack, the Princess of the Moon, Luna, poked her head inside.

"Yes, sister? What is it?"

"This touching letter from our friends in Ponyville. I think what it details might warm you."

"Let me see."

Celestia gave the scroll over, and Luna took it in her magic. She began reading aloud.

"Dear Princess Celestia, today I learned that if you have a problem or a secret, it's best to tell somepony so they can help you, even if you don't want anypony to ever know. Your faithful Crusader, Scootaloo. P.S., I'm really going to enjoy living at my sister Rainbow Dash's house."

Similarly to her sister, Luna's grin widened. She sighed a relief, and looked out the window to catch a glimpse of the bright, shining ball of light that she controlled.

"I've been wondering when those two were finally going to grow together. We've been watching them for so long."

Celestia smiled again and drew in closely to embrace her own sister.

"Even though it's been nearly a year, I'm still ever so grateful for your return," she whispered.

"Well, I'm still happy to be back," Luna giggled.

They stayed in their embrace for a while. Even though they themselves would live for an eternity, they felt their hug to last one itself.

---

The End

Author's Note:

I did that as a "middle finger" to all the people who break Scootaloo's wing in their stories and expect it not to heal. RAINBOW DASH BROKE HERS IN HALF AND SHE WAS HOME IN JUST A FEW DAYS. LIKE WHAT? If any of you disagree, just let me know. I'll be sure to take your input into consideration, but I probably wont change the story.

Also, about the Princesses, I mention either the sun or the moon in every single chapter.

See you in the sequel!

Comments

[MidnightSun]

Okay? This is listed as Incomplete, yet you have said "The End"...

Maybe someone forgot to? Or is there more after this?

[PiMan]

4990409
Says Complete now.

[Starlitomega]

4930930
Y'all is used by Applejack as a singular in the show in "look before you sleep."

Guess what? when it comes to dialogue, it doesn't matter if its incorrect or not, as long as its used in character, and since Applejack has used y'all incorrectly, in dialogue, its fine.

[toxiconym]

4990553 Damn it, I wanted to say those EXACT words.

[xCobaltRainx]

4990809 "See you in the Sequel..."

[Spectrum16]

Sequel F YE!!!!!!!! Great story. I hope the sequel wont take to long but id expect it to be good Also even apparently goddess that can live for thousands and thousands of years giggle?

[Blueman15]

SEQUEL!? HELL YES!! This gonna be good!

[friedchicken96]

Sequel?! Sequel! Yes! I'm glad to hear that this story will have a sequel cause I wanted to see more of what Rainbow and Scoots life together would be like, as well as what cutie mark Scoots will get. Also I really love the sisterly parallel wit Celestia and Luna.

[Kenshinryuu]

Sequel???? !!!!!! I much prefer Scoots being Dash's little sister over daughter. I can't wait to see how things go for them.

[Rainbow87dash]

Sequel? Oh thank God!

[TheGreatEater]

For the love of Berry Muffins, I'm glad that this is getting a sequel. To [well a few] things were left unresolved and I'm happy to see that we'll be getting closure on that part. And I'm glad you didn't go with the broken wing thing with Scoots [Pegasi are made of harder stuff, they'd have to be with the rate they crash into mountains, the ground, each other, and things].

Oh! Are we going to see an end to the Hot Streak - Spit Fire thread of this fic?

[xCobaltRainx]

5002611 What parts did you feel were left unanswered? I tried to tie things up before I ended the story, but if I left something out then please tell me.

And yes, Hot Streak is in the sequel. It'll take place around a decade after this story's altered timeline of the actual show. Honestly though, I'm feeling a bit burnt out at the moment. Life's been getting pretty busy for me lately, so expect a slight delay.

[TheGreatEater]

5003368 [pre-appologies for the list of questions]

I get how that is. I usually take a few week break after every 20-50 k words I write. And most of what was left unanswered was revolving around Spit Fire leaving her daughter, and what happened to Hot Streak. But then you have what's going to happen to the other orphans that lost their home. Was the other filly that Dash saved ever going to be brought up / was there a reason for her in the fic / future timeline? What interaction do the Princesses have with Dash and Scoots past watching them from a distance up till now?

As for 10 years. That's quite a time jump. Sure seeing that far would be cool eventually. But it'd be cool to be there [reading wise] when Scoots get's her Cutie Mark [as with the other Crusaders], and see the sisterly interactions / growth of her and Dash. If she's 10, and Hot Flash was is 15. Then a 10 year jump would put them at 20 and 25, that'd kinda suck as far as familiar rejoinings go. Not to mention that'd put Spits at what? 35 - 50 [depending on how much older she is than Dash + 10 yrs]? Why would it take that long to find each other? Does Dashie get into the Wonderbolts in that time, and if so how does that affect Scoots? Was / Is Scoots able to live with Dash when Dash is doing shows? As you can tell from a small list of questions from a 10 time jump. There's a lot to miss out on XD.

But nonetheless. I look forward to seeing what you come up with when you had time to re-charge your mental batteries / have time to start up on the sequel. Best of luck to you, and I eagerly await your return to writing .

[Gravityguardian29]

Alright another great story comes to a close! Well i gotta say this was one of the most entertaining fanfics i've read! the character and relationship development, the imagery and descriptions of the setting and characters were spot on! normally fanfics i read either go way to fast and dont give the reader a chance to get comfortable, or they're really drawn out leaving the audience bored. However this story found a nice comfy spot in between the two where it was a great amount of information for the imagination, but still short enough to where you stayed interested.

Personally i couldn't stop reading once i started. It's always hard to put a character into a situation and assume how they're gonna react. Dash could have said no to everything and went for the wonderbolts and that would have been in character, however she does care alot about scoots and would want to help make her life better which is also in character. Speaking of which, i also enjoyed the conflict she faced between the bolts and scoots life.

These two characters and their inevitable relationship have always fascinated me since i started watching the show. Especially when they established that dash is going to be a big sister for scoots. Also i liked the epilogue added at the end there, very nice touch!

well, i couldnt find anything that really needed improvement, the writing style was excellent and development of characters and storyline were well thought out. I'm anxiously awaiting the sequel!

Great story! Keep up the great work!!

and ms hooves for some other reason

[Starscribe]

I simply can't leave a good story without writing a review. Picked this up after it had been complete, mostly because I try not to get entangled in stories that might never be finished. I'm going to be brutally honest and hopefully offer a little helpful feedback. Of course I could just say and be done with the review, but not only is that dumb and unhelpful, but personally I value the reviews much more that actually give me something useful I can use to improve my writing.

Things I Liked
This story drew on lots of the common tropes of the fannon, stuff that I've seen as minor elements of many other stories before. Somehow you managed to make a story we've all already heard compelling, and I couldn't tell you how you did it. There were no mysteries in this story, and aside from the fire at the end, very little happened that we couldn't see coming.

This isn't a weakness. Somehow you made it work, and I couldn't tell you how. My guess is that you managed to convey the relationships themselves in such a compelling way that everything else became secondary. The way you wrote managed to capture the feelings of loss and loneliness and happiness and love and make them real for the reader. This story knew what it was and didn't try to be anything else. You didn't try to shoehorn in the rest of the mane 6 where they didn't belong or focus on other relationships that didn't matter. We came to see Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo's relationship develop over time, and the story delivered.

Things That Could've Been Better
I'll say this as one word: Grammar. It's a testament to how much I enjoyed the story that I kept reading, because there were parts of the story that spiraled down into such a grammatical mess that I would've put down and stopped reading for good with any other story. Fortunately it seemed like you made the same mistakes over and over, so hopefully it should be simple enough to fix a few bad habits. Specifically:

-Tense Disagreement. With a few limited exceptions (discussed below) your story was written in the Third Person, Past Tense, Limited perspective. This means a single character at a time is describing events as though they happened in the past. We can see the thoughts of this character, but no others. Yet sometimes, when you're describing events, your sentences involve the use of the present tense. This is a no-can-do, as it disorients the reader and makes the sentence extremely choppy to read. "While she danced across the room, Pinkie Pie is smiling all the while." The earlier chapters were far worse offenders than the later ones, but I still noticed it at least once in almost every one. Something to keep an eye on in the future.

-Watch out for strange shifts in perspective. Your story is 3rd Person Limited, unless you decide to consistently write 3rd person Omniscient and slip from perspective to perspective, your narrator only knows the thoughts and feelings of one character per scene. A few times during the story, such as during one of Cheerilee's classes, the perspective switches awkwardly to another character for a single paragraph, they express a single thought, and we return to the perspective character. This breaks the immersion.

-PASSIVE VOICE! This is not a grammatical mistake, but it is awful writing and something to avoid like deadly poison. What's passive voice? Let me give you some (fictional) examples...

"The window was opened, and Rainbow Dash turned back to face the filly."
"The file folder was given to Rainbow Dash by the matron."

You didn't do it too often, but please please please watch out for this when you're writing fiction. The passive voice shifts the focus of the sentence from the subjects (the characters) to the objects (things), and make the objects the subjects of the sentence. You can see in the sentences above that the file folder and the window are the subjects, instead of Rainbow Dash. That isn't awesome. Instead, we could rewrite the sentences as follows:

"Rainbow Dash opened the window and turned back to face the filly."
"The matron gave Rainbow Dash the file folder."

See how much easier these are to read? More natural, less flow-breaking.

At the End of the Day
I really really really enjoyed this story. Please don't take my long talk about some grammar stuff to mean that I think the story wasn't well written or wasn't worth my time. It absolutely was. It was emotional, engaging, and fun. I loved it, and would recommend it to any fans of Scoot/Rainbow. However, I think it could have been even better if a few simple grammatical mistakes hadn't distracted from the reading, and I look forward to seeing your future writing, hopefully the better for the absence of those mistakes.

[xCobaltRainx]

5010106 OH MY GOD YOU ARE SO CORRECT ABOUT THE GRAMMAR. I can't believe I let such lurid writing slip through my grasp! I wrote the first few chapters months ago, and it really shows. I suppose I lied to myself when I said the chapters were already good to go before publishing them.

Me- "Nah, it's fine! Just put it through... don't look at it..."

I've already gone and fixed the first four chapters, and am currently chipping through the next twelve. Hopefully I've succeeded in cutting out all the fatty tissue surrounding the good stuff while inserting more in its place.

[Fervidor]

RAINBOW DASH BROKE HERS IN HALF AND SHE WAS HOME IN JUST A FEW DAYS. LIKE WHAT?

I made a whole thread about that. Apparently ponies, or at least pegasi, heal something like ten times faster than we do.

Oh well, this was a nice story. It's not perfect, but it had that elusive quality that makes me stick with a story to the end anyway, and that's what really counts. Keep up the good work.

[xCobaltRainx]

5078055 You are entirely correct. I didn't even think about that. Well, I went in and fixed it. Hope it's good enough now.

[Crimson Flask]

After finally having the time to read it all, there is only one thing left for me to say. Thank you! The story was really great awesome(!) and I enjoyed reading it a lot. This is what I wish every ScootaDash-Fanfic would be like. Rainbow showing emotions, actually thinking about her decisions and Scootaloo finding a place to call home, and to be able to fly. I especially liked the last chapters. They were so intense, I just sit there praying that everything will be fine! It was wonderful and touching. I hope that you carry on and never stop writing things like that.

[Shadowed Shield]

This is a pretty awesome story. I usually don't read fics like this, because they're all touchy feely, and don't have much action, but I was blown away by this one.

Really, you're a good writer, and should keep writing.

[TheGreatEater]

5499123

Yes we do see it on the show. Look at the comment on "The Relization". There should be no debate since the show has her as two words. That and Applejack refers to Applejacking, and is a word. Applebloom isn't a word, but an Apple does Bloom. Of course it could be said that Fluttershy isn't a word, but it's a play on words (rhymes with Butterfly, while pointing out two traits she's known for.)

[Admiral Q Ponyform]

5499752 okay, but the question becomes, why is her's broken up and not Applejack's

[reader238]

were you serious about the sequel? because it has been a few months now and I love scootadash stories

[xCobaltRainx]

5499831
5499768
Quit bickering, I'll change it to canon.

[Archy the Hobo]

5499768

Fluttershy isn't a word, but it's a play on words (rhymes with Butterfly, while pointing out two traits she's known for.)

Another important and clever bit to that: a group of butterflies is called a "flutter".

[TheGreatEater]

5855373

I didn't know that. That actually makes Fluttershy's cutie mark a bit clever and punny. Thanks for the info .

[RoyalBardofCanterlot]

In the fanfiction.net version you had them turn out to be real sisters. Why'd you change it?

[xCobaltRainx]

6053208 I felt like it was too much. It would've broken a lot of the story's credibility. I want this story to be something that could actually happen in the show. Having them be related would've pushed it too far from canon. Even though the story skewed off into its own thing halfway through, it's not changing anything about who the characters already are. That's how I want to keep it.

The whole point of fan-fiction writing is to take these characters and put them in your own scenarios, not change who they are in any way you see fit. Sure I made Scootaloo fly, but that was only because I feel I fixed a problem the character already had.

[BarryTheFlashAllen]

I did that as a "middle finger" to all the people who break Scootaloo's wing in their stories and expect it not to heal. RAINBOW DASH BROKE HERS IN HALF AND SHE WAS HOME IN JUST A FEW DAYS. LIKE WHAT? If any of you disagree, just let me know. I'll be sure to take your input into consideration, but I probably wont change the story.
It depends on where the bone is broken the size of the break is not too important but it still effects the heal

[superfun]

6230879 Actually, I've read a few stories where Scootaloo and Rainbow turn out to actually be sisters, and it worked perfectly well in those stories.

Plus, I've actually figured out a way for them being sisters by blood to actually make sense in canon:
Rainbow had a falling out with her parents shortly before Scootaloo's birth. Her parents kept a bunch of memorabilia about her, and told Scootaloo all about what a great pony she was. Given the approximate age difference between the two of them, it would make sense that Scoots would be born during a period of time where Rainbow would be in heavy disagreement with their parents.

And that scene in Sleepless in Ponyville where Scootaloo told Rainbow how desperately she wanted her to be her big sister was actually her wanting to start making up for lost time.

[xCobaltRainx]

6411167 The original story on Fanfiction went this way: Rainbow Dash is pulled out of Scootaloo's hospital room because the nurse found some interesting information. When asked what was up, the nurse said that, if ever there is another hospital visit, Dash should give the nurse all of the correct information. She shows Dash Scootaloo's birth certificate (the hospital keeps a copy of it in her file) and it has listed the same parents at Dash. The story behind their parents is that they're from a very competitive class of pegasi. Since Dash wasn't very good at flying when her parents believed she was supposed to be, they got rid of her. Just after putting her up for adoption, Dash's parents tried for another. Scootaloo is born around eleven months after Dash is removed. When her parents found out that Scootaloo was even worse at flying at a stage that Dash was somewhat capable, they got rid of her too.

[superfun]

6415989 Wow....
You know, you should post that as a bonus chapter for this story. Just mark it as a deleted scene if you don't want it to be part of this story's canon.

On a slightly related note, how's the sequel coming along?

[Spectrum16]

6497125 Ik ik
But I just was putting the comment there as a little joke reminder to sleepless in ponyville

[MaggotKing556]

I liked it. Great story

[JadeSaber2222]

Best Scootalove story I have every read.

[AilingStar]

10/10, would read again.

[Necron Lord]

9411775
My brudda I am having problem. I have not gathered the ebola to evolve into the next form of Ugandan. I have not become the Ugandan Chungus. please help me my brudda

[jwizard]

Thank you so much! Among my biggest peeves is that Scootaloo is always going to be disabled.

After all, what's the point of having magic if simple things like a broken bone can't be fixed.

And horn cancer is just silly.

[Teraunce]

daw.......

[xBrezzah]

wer sequel