On Being Who You Are, When Who You Are Is Somepony Else
“Has anypony seen Rarity?” Twilight blushed as her eyes scanned the crowded Canterlot ballroom. When her question received no reply, she sighed and took another long sip from her wine glass. The bells on her costume chimed as she trotted away.
A head with a long pink mane poked out from a curtained-off space near the hors d’oeuvre tables. “Mercy! I thought that filly wasn’t ever gonna leave. Why do you reckon she’s lookin’ for Rarity?”
Rainbow Dash hissed violently and pulled Applejack back behind the curtain. “You’re breaking character again, AJ! Remember, you’re supposed to be Fluttershy tonight.”
“Oh. Um. I figure I’m mighty sorry then, Lotus Blossom. Would you mind terribly givin’ me another ‘hoof massage’?”
Rainbow’s cheeks turned bright red, and she smoothed her own pink-dyed mane self-consciously. “AJ, don’t—! I mean, what if somepony heard you talk like that!?”
“Talk like what, Sugarcube? Like you an’ me were busy makin’ sure none of this year’s hay didn’t get to help out with a good pony-rolling? ‘Cause we already did that this morning, and there ain’t two ponies in Equestria who didn’t hear the way you was hollerin’ my name.” Rainbow’s wings twitched feverishly for a moment, until she forced them back against her sides. “Anyway, them spa ponies are pretty an’ all, but I don’t got a whole lot of interest in kissin’ anypony other than Rainbow Dash.”
Rainbow gave Applejack a quick peck before glancing around nervously. “And I don’t have a whole lot of interest in in kissing anypony other than Flutte—” Applejack’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “I mean other than you! Obviously!”
“Sister, are you sure this is wise?”
“I don’t think you understand, Luna. The Grand Galloping Gala is a yearly tradition, dating back to the establishment of the Council of Noble Houses. So this will be my, what, 724th one? You haven’t had to endure them, century after century, but let me assure you that they are terrible. Anything that breaks up the monotony is welcome. And Twilight’s idea of turning this year’s into a masquerade ball is brilliant. Why, it might even be fun!”
“I’m not questioning the wisdom of an event of this character, Tia. You know I possess a fondness for costumed escapades—” Celestia gave a snort. “—I’m merely concerned that your particular choice of role in this masquerade may cause, let us say, unforeseen difficulties.”
“Oh, are you worried about what she’ll think? No, Luna, that’s not going to be a problem. I asked her myself, earlier. She needed my help with her own costume. Anyway, she thought it was a wonderful idea.”
“That was not my… I mean, you are proposing to use your magic to imitate her perfectly. Are you not worried about the possibility that somepony might confuse you for her?”
Celestia sighed. “That’s the whole point, Luna! And I think you should give it a try, too. I think you’ll find that you like it.”
Luna frowned. “Sister, do you mean to imply that you have done this before?”
“Plenty of times!”
“And it has never caused you significant trouble?”
“No more than reason would dictate. Nothing I had any difficulty sorting out later, anyway. I promise you, it’ll be fun!”
A smile crept onto Luna’s face. “Well, if you insist, Tia.”
“Um, I really don’t see why I have to keep calling you Aloe, though, Pinkie. We both know it’s you. And anyway, Aloe’s mane doesn’t poof out like yours does.”
Aloe frowned into the mirror, trying to comb her blue-dyed mane flat again. It didn’t work. “Well, you can’t ask an apple tree to grow oranges, right Applejack?”
A yellow-maned head stared back beside her own in the mirror, wearing a confused look. “I don’t know if I really understand what you mean, Pinkie—”
“Aloe.”
“—and if it’s okay with you, maybe you could keep calling me Fluttershy? I, um, like when you say my name.”
Aloe grinned and turned away from the mirror to plant a quick kiss on Applejack’s cheek. “You know I can’t do that, silly! How are we supposed to make this the best costume party ever unless we really really pretend to be our characters? And you should try talking more like Applejack, too, or everypony’s going to start wondering if you’re not really her.”
“But I’m not really—”
Aloe narrowed her eyes. “Applejack…”
“But, um, ah’m not really her! An’ don’t y’all feel sort of… I mea… Ah mean, ain’t it weird for y’all to be kissin’ Applejack instead of Fluttershy?”
“Of course not. Aloe loves everypony.” She leaned in and kissed Applejack very thoroughly. “Anyway, I think you look super duper cute like this!”
The wine wasn’t helping.
Oh, sure, it lowered her inhibitions. That’s why she was drinking it. How was she supposed to tell Rarity how she felt without a little… what did Shining call it? Oh, yes. Liquid Courage.
But before she could confess her feelings to Rarity, she had to find her. And while the wine was making that conversation seem a lot more doable, at this point it was also starting to blur her vision, which made spotting the darned mare a sight harder. It was also making her legs wobble a bit—or maybe that was just some lingering nervousness.
She took another swig from her wine glass, emptying it. Well, that was unfortunate.
Casting a glance around the room, she spotted a servingcolt with a tray of fresh glasses. He looked like he was talking to a pair of Celestia’s guards: a gray pegasus and a white unicorn, both of whom had wine glasses of their own. She levitated her empty glass over to the servant’s tray, exchanging it for a full one.
“Twilight! I’ve been looking all over for you!”
The voice brought Twilight’s head around quickly, which made her vision spin. She almost lost her telekinetic grip on the new glass of wine as she saw Rarity trotting toward her across the ballroom floor, wearing a dazzling gown of blue chiffon.
“This was a wonderful idea, turning the Gala into a masquerade ball. I haven’t had this much fun in years!”
Twilight grinned, feeling her face flush. “I’m glad you like it.”
“And what about you, Twilight Sparkle? Do the festivities meet with your approval?”
The way Rarity smiled, the way her mane curled into shimmering violet waves, the way her voice sent shivers down Twilight’s spine—it was all so overwhelming. “Why do you have to be so beautiful, Rarity? I think… I think I’m in love with you.” A few seconds later, she finally heard the words she’d just said.
Rarity was blushing, her eyes wide. “Twilight, no. I think you may have mistaken me for—”
Inside, Twilight felt her heart begin to crack. She hadn’t had enough wine. There probably wasn’t enough wine in the world. Impulsively, she took a step forward and pressed her mouth to Rarity’s. The other mare tensed, and Twilight could feel her discomfort. Quickly, wordlessly, before Rarity could say anything else to hurt her, Twilight turned and ran.
Rarity was particularly pleased with her choice of costume. It shimmered in a way only precious metals could manage, and it boasted a number of fine, detailed highlights that, she knew from experience, would escape all but the most discerning eye. Best of all, Rarity had played no part in creating it. The thought of appearing at an event like the Grand Galloping Gala in an outfit not of her own making was positively scandalous—and yet, what better way could there be to disguise her identity?
Her eyes scanned the room as she continued small-talking the pegasus guard. He didn’t seem very interested in the wine she’d procured for him. A shame. He was quite fetching, but much too uptight for any proper fun.
And speaking of uptight… Rarity noticed Twilight wending her way through the ballroom. Her steps looked remarkably unsteady. Had she been drinking? Yes, clearly she had. Rarity watched as Twilight drained a wine glass and floated it over to the colt who was attending on her and her pegasus guard companion. A full glass floated away in its place. Rarity was about to excuse herself from the conversation and search out greener pastures when a familiar voice split the low buzz of the ballroom.
“Twilight! I’ve been looking all over for you!”
Wearing Rarity’s own form, it was Celestia herself. And the princess’s blue chiffon gown, Rarity admitted to herself reluctantly, proved far more flattering than the golden armor of a palace guard.
Celestia hurried over to join Twilight, an uncommon eagerness showing in her step. Then Twilight appeared to say something and the princess pulled up short. Celestia replied, or tried to, but Twilight leaned in suddenly and… kissed her? Rarity felt her cheeks turning red. It was an unaccountably tantalizing experience—to watch yourself being kissed by one of your best friends. She stifled a nervous giggle and turned away, staring at her own wine glass as it spun lazily in the air before her, embraced by a pale cerulean glow.
It seemed minutes later when a voice pulled her out of her reverie. “—arity! Are you—” Her mirror image stood before her, wearing a worried look. “Yes, well, perhaps you can explain to me what just happened?”
“I… ah…” Rarity took a long drink from her wine glass. “My apologies your highness, but I’m as lost as you are.”
Celestia harrumphed.
Pinkie Pie’s sudden appearance was all the excuse Applejack needed to extricate herself from a conversation with a trio of Canterlot socialites—who seemed much the same as she remembered Manehattan socialites having been. Which was to say pretty, charming, and with all the common sense of pigs in mud.
“Hey, Sugarcube. How’re you enjoyin’ the party?”
“It’s great!” Pinkie’s blue mane bobbed as she bounced in place. It reminded Applejack of the cotton candy Granny Smith used to buy her at Ponyville’s Harvest Festival when she was little.
“I don’t reckon you’ve seen Rainbow Dash anywhere, Pinkie?”
“Ooh, is Rainbow Dash here at the party, too?”
Applejack blinked. “’Course she’s here, Sugarcube. Didn’t y’all decide to dress up as the spa ponies together?”
Pinkie gave her an enormous grin. “I don’t know what you mean, Fluttershy, but I did see Lotus Blossom over by the snack tables.”
“Thanks, Pinkie.” Applejack sighed and scuffed at the marble tiles with one hoof. “I thought we were comin’ here together, but… I don’t know, I feel like maybe she’s tryin’ to put one over on me, somehow.”
Pinkie looked puzzled for a moment. “Wait, why would Lotus Blossom be hanging out with Fluttershy? I mean, I know Fluttershy likes going to the spa, but I never realized you two were friends.”
“’Course we’re friends. Just ‘cause Princess Celestia decided to throw a big fancy costume party, that don’t change who we all—”
“Or are you more than just friends? If Fluttershy has those kinds of friends, I think somepony might be very interested to know about that!”
“You mean somepony like Pinkie Pie, Sugarcube?”
Pinkie gave her a suspicious look.
“Well I reckon it’s a right shame Pinkie ain’t around, then, wouldn’t you say, Aloe?”
Pinkie’s mane deflated a little, changing from cotton candy to saltwater taffy. “Yeah, I reckon so.”
Applejack resisted the urge to roll her eyes. “Anyway, thanks for the tip, Sugarcube. I’ll be sure to tell Lotus Blossom not to take advantage of Fluttershy, if I see ‘em.”
“Um. Thank y’all mighty kindly. My friend Rarity made it. Y’all.”
The pair of unicorn mares continued to coo over Fluttershy’s dress, and she tugged her hat down a little lower, hoping to hide her blush.
“Hey! Fluttershy, is that you?”
With a little “Eep!” of surprise, Fluttershy spun and found Rainbow Dash looking her up and down. Well, Lotus Blossom—or so Pinkie would insist—but it was so hard to think of your friends as anypony except who they really were. “Hi Rainb… I mean, Lotus.” To be honest, Rainbow looked a lot more like Lotus Blossom than Pinkie looked like Aloe, though. It was hard to imagine that poofy mane belonging to anypony else.
Rainbow didn’t respond, she just kept staring. It made Fluttershy wish she could hide herself in the hat Applejack had loaned her.
“Um. Did you want somethin’, Lotus?”
Rainbow took a few seconds to respond. “Oh, ah, I just wanted to see what you’d look like dressed up as AJ, y’know? It’s like AJ with wings. It’s pretty sweet.”
“Well, thank-ee kindly, Lotus.” Fluttershy gave her friend a little smile. “I reckon it’s a lot of fun to pretend to be—”
Rainbow Dash shivered, and the feathers on the tips of her wings seemed to vibrate. “Ooh, say that again.”
“Huh?”
“I… uh… do you think I’m a good flyer, Applejack?”
Fluttershy frowned, feeling confused. “Um. I reckon you’re a great flyer, Rainbow Da… I mean—”
Rainbow’s eyes were pinched shut. “Rainbow Dash. Just call me Rainbow Dash. Is that okay… Applejack?”
“Um, I guess, if that’s what… y’all… want?”
Rainbow moaned softly, and her head rolled back a little. “AJ, would you, uh, mind coming with me for a little while?”
The main ballroom of the Canterlot palace was really much too large. Rarity tried to pick her way through the crowd swiftly, and those guests who saw her guard uniform were usually quick to open a path, but there were simply too many ponies to make the task easy.
A flash of blue and purple at the corner of her vision brought Rarity’s head around. Was that…? Yes, there! Twilight, in her omnipresent Star Swirl costume, was speaking with a small collection of guests. Reporters from the Fillydelphia Times-Picayune, unless Rarity was mistaken. She turned her hooves toward the little gathering.
When Twilight saw her, she smiled and dismissed the reporters with the wave of a hoof. Rarity felt like a swarm of butterflies had just settled in her stomach. Twilight had looked tipsy and unsettled when she’d approached Celestia, but now she seemed firmly in command of herself. Was Rarity making a mistake? Had Twilight known she’d been talking to Celestia the whole time?
“Rarity! It is most agreeable to see you here this evening. Are you enjoying yourself?”
She tried to force a smile in response, but she worried her nervousness might have soured it. “It… has been a very interesting evening. Don’t you think so, Twilight?”
“Oh. Ohh.” Twilight’s eyes seemed to sparkle. “Yes, of course, Rarity. A very interesting evening.”
“Celestia told me what you said to her.”
“My s… I mean, my stars! She did?” A flash of panic crossed Twilight’s face.
“Yes, and… I think perhaps you aren’t alone in feeling…” Heavens, why did she have to feel so nervous? It wasn’t like Rarity lacked experience with feelings of this sort. She’d had them often enough, and been the target of them more often still. “What I mean to say is, perhaps if you’d like, we could arrange to…”
“Rarity, you look unwell.” Twilight’s expression softened a little. “I think perhaps I shouldn’t lead you on like this, whatever Tia—”
Celestia, yes. Why did Celestia get to kiss Twilight? That kiss had been meant for Rarity. Shouldn’t lead her on, indeed! If Twilight wanted to kiss somepony, she should darn well kiss the pony she intended to kiss. Rarity felt a sudden stab of jealousy. Her head might be a little fuzzy, but she knew what she had to do. Celestia couldn’t keep that ill-gotten kiss all for herself.
Rarity leaned in and kissed Twilight, as passionately as she knew how.
Twilight’s eyes widened in shock, but after a moment she returned the kiss enthusiastically. She was a much better kisser than Rarity would have expected, actually.
After a minute, they broke apart. Twilight licked her lips and grinned. “Tia was right. Pretending is enormous fun!”
Away from the Grand Galloping Gala, the buzz of voices and the clack of hooves grew quiet. Applejack trotted down an empty, shadowed corridor. Listening.
She thought she heard a rustle from further ahead, and slowed her steps. Her expression hardened as she walked forward, careful not to make any noise.
“No, you gotta… C’mon AJ, hold still!”
The voice was faint, muffled by a door to her left. Applejack crept up to it and paused, putting her ear against the door. She heard a thin, high-pitched moan followed by a few ragged breaths and a loud thump.
“Ow! Hey, no kicking!”
Applejack stifled a snort.
“H-hah. Sorry, Rainbow. I r-reckon I can’t help it.”
“Well, if you keep kicking, I’m gonna sto—”
“No! Please please please, Rainbow. I’m so close!”
Applejack’s eyes widened. Rainbow wouldn’t.
Fluttershy’s soft, thin voice came again. “Nnnng. Yes, right there… Please, um, Sugarcube. Hh-aah. Just like that.”
Applejack pressed her ear against the door harder. There was panting, and an intimate little giggle she knew far too well.
“Ahhh. Nn-nng. Eee. Eee! Eee!”
The sound of ragged breathing beat against the door, and for a moment, Applejack’s anger was buried by amusement. Is that what Fluttershy sounds like? Bet Pinkie gets a real kick outta that.
“Eee! Eee! Ahhhng! Yee-haw!”
A scowl washed over Applejack’s face. She took a moment to compose herself, and then landed a heavy kick against the sturdy wooden door. It crashed open, rebounding off the wall, and Applejack caught the backswing with her hoof. She marched into the room, staring at the panicked faces of Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy, both tucked under the covers of an enormous four-posted bed.
“You, out.” Applejack waved a hoof at Fluttershy, who squealed and leapt from underneath the covers. She flew out the door as fast as Applejack had ever seen her move.
“AJ, I can explain!”
“You’d better hope so, Sugarcube.” Applejack stalked forward.
Aloe was starting to feel very confused.
“I don’t know what I was thinking, Pinkie!” Star Swirl was crying into her beard. Clearly, she’d had too much to drink. “I just… Rarity’s so pretty, and I… I couldn’t stop thinking about what it’d feel like to kiss her, and then… I can’t believe I said… Oh, Pinkie, how could I be so stupid?”
“But Star Swirl doesn’t even know who Rarity is! Star Swirl lived hundreds and hundreds of years ago.” Aloe tried to give her friend a soothing hug, but her words didn’t seem to be helping.
“I know, I know,” Star Swirl sobbed. “Why can’t I do anything right?”
Aloe sighed. This wasn’t how parties were supposed to be. Parties were fun, and costume parties were the funnest of all. If ponies were crying at your parties, that meant you’d done something terribly wrong.
Lotus Blossom strode up, wearing an enormous grin. “Hello, dear pony friends! This evening is most enjoyable, do you not think?”
Star Swirl, her face buried against Aloe’s shoulder, looked up for a moment. There was a pause, and then she began sobbing again, even harder this time. Aloe thought she was trying to say something, but the words were too jumbled to make out.
“I’m glad you’re having fun, Lotus,” Aloe said in a quiet voice. She smoothed Star Swirl’s mane with one hoof and shushed her gently, trying to stop the tears. “I just wish everypony was having as good a time as you.”
“I believe I know how to make it better!”
Aloe smiled. If Lotus had an idea for how to cheer up Star Swirl… “How?”
“Why, kissing, of course!”
Applejack, airborne and sans hat, came tearing out of a corridor at the back of the ballroom. She sped toward Aloe as soon as she saw her. Then she saw Lotus. Her wings pulled tight against her barrel and she dropped out of the air, landing heavily a few yards away.
Lotus leaned in and kissed Aloe, whose eyes widened in shock.
Applejack gave a sob of her own and galloped off toward the palace entrance.
How could one party result in so much crying? Aloe couldn’t escape the feeling that this must all, somehow, be her fault.
“Oh, Rarity, I don’t know what to do!”
Celestia stared down at the quivering pile of yellow mane, fur, and feathers that was trying to tangle around her forehooves. She wondered—not for the first time—whether her decision to be Rarity for the evening might go down in the annals of Equestria as, well, not exactly her highness’s most shining moment.
“There, there.” She tried to smooth Fluttershy’s mane with one hoof.
“Rainbow promised it would be okay. I was Applejack, after all, and Applejack and Rainbow… I mean, everypony knows they… And she’s so exciting, and pretty, and when she asks you to do something, how do you tell her no?”
“There, there.”
“It was almost like she’d planned it out. She knew right where that bedroom would be and everything. And then she started kissing me, and her hooves… And her tongue…” The pile of mane and fur and feathers quivered like a gong that had been struck. “Eeeeee…”
This was not how ponies were supposed to behave around their princess. It was very disconcerting.
“And then when I saw her kissing Pinkie, too! I mean, I thought she was still back in the bedroom with Applejack. I know she moves fast—um, I mean, she flies fast, not—um, well I guess she moves fast the other way, too, but—umm, I had no idea she could… And then she was kissing Pinkie, too!”
Celestia frowned. Something wasn’t adding up.
“I don’t even have any right to be jealous, not after what she and I did together. So how come it still hurts to think about her kissing Pinkie like that?”
A theory began to assert itself. Celestia’s eyes narrowed.
“Please, Rarity, tell me how I can fix this. I don’t want to lose Pinkie, and I don’t want Applejack to be mad at me, and… Oh, why does Rainbow have to be so pretty and… um… make me feel so good?”
Celestia extricated her hooves from the bundle of mane and fur and feathers, and began to stride toward the back of the ballroom. It seemed that Luna was having entirely too much fun.
“It’s just ‘cause she had wings, I swear!”
“An’ that’s supposed to make me feel better because why, exactly?”
“Well, ‘cause it’s not like I was really cheating on you. I just wanted to see what it’d be like if… y’know, if you had wings.”
“But I ain’t got wings, Rainbow.”
“…I know. That’s why I wanted to try it.”
Applejack marched through the halls in silence, heading for the palace entrance. Rainbow trailed along behind her, looking ashamed.
“So are we…?”
“Are we still datin’? What do you think, Sugarcube?”
“Umm…”
“Gol durn it, Rainbow Dash, why’d you have to go doin’ that with Fluttershy? I thought we had somethin’ special.”
“We did! I mean, we do! I just… When she got all dressed up like you, and started pretending to be you… She was just so sexy, AJ. I couldn’t help myself.”
“Couldn’t help—” Applejack turned her head and stared at Rainbow. “You couldn’t help yourself?”
“Well, you gotta admit, she was… Uh… Hey, I know! Why don’t we go find another one of those bedrooms, you and me, and then it’ll be just like Fluttershy was cheating on Pinkie instead!”
“That…” Applejack shook her head in disbelief. “Rainbow Dash, that don’t make no sense and you know it. Now, you tell me, what’s it gonna be? Do you want to be with Applejack, or do you want to be with Fluttershy?”
“Apple… I mean, Flutter… How am I supposed to answer this, when you’re dressed up like her?”
“You figure it out.”
“You’re just going to use however I answer as an excuse to dump me, aren’t you, AJ?”
“Maybe.”
“Fine, I want to be with you both.”
Applejack’s jaw dropped. “Rainbow Dash, that is not an acceptable answer.”
“Why not? She’s cute. You’re cute. I’ll bet you’d like her, if you got to know her better. I mean, like, got to know her the way I just got to—”
“Don’t push it, Sugarcube.”
“And you gotta admit, the way she squeaks when she’s about to—”
“Rainbow Marie Dash, this ain’t how you’re supposed to apologize to your marefriend for cheatin’ on her!”
“Admit it, AJ. You thought it was sexy, too.”
Applejack snorted and turned away, continuing back toward the palace entrance.
“Does that mean you’ll think about it?”
The hallway was silent for a few moments, except for the clop of horseshoes on marble tiles. Absently, Applejack straightened her hat.
“Well, I suppose somepony ought to teach that girl what yee-haw really means.”
There. Over by Pinkie. Crying. That Twilight looked drunk and neurotic, just like the real one ought to be.
Squaring her shoulders and fighting down her own embarrassment, Rarity strode over to the pair of ponies. “Pinkie, will you excuse us, please? Twilight and I need to talk.”
Pinkie turned to look at her. “I’m sorry, sir, I think you’ve got the wrong ponies. I’m Aloe and this is Star Swirl the Bear—”
“—ded. Fine then, Aloe, if you don’t mind, I’d like a moment alone with Star Swirl here. Official palace guard business, I assure you.”
Pinkie looked at Twilight, who gave a tiny nod. They embraced for a moment, and then Pinkie retreated.
“Please tell me you’re not going to insist I call you Star Swirl too, darling.”
Twilight bit her lip and shook her head.
“Now, about earlier—”
“I’m sorry, Rarity! I had no right to… to do that. And if I’d known you didn’t feel the same way, I never would have—”
“Please, darling, give me a chance to talk. First of all, it was only a kiss. You’ve all the right in the world to kiss whoever you like. Second, about how you feel—”
“I’ll never bring it up again, I promise. I don’t want to ruin our friendship or anything. I just… with all the wine, and with the way everypony else seems to be… I mean, you’re just so… No, sorry. I said I’d never bring it up again, and here I’m—”
“Actually, Twilight, if you wouldn’t mind, I’d like you to repeat what you said to me the first time.”
“You… would?”
“Yes. Let’s just say I might have been a little distracted, before.”
Twilight lowered her eyes, studying her hooves intently. “Okay, I guess.” Her cheeks flushed a bright pink.
For half a minute, there was silence between the two ponies, while music and laughter and dancing filled the air around them.
“Twilight, darling?”
“Sorry. I just… I didn’t really say it the way I wanted to say it the first time. What I said, well, what I wanted to say was…” Twilight took a deep breath and raised her head, staring Rarity in the eyes. “Rarity, you’re the most beautiful pony that I’ve ever met. And not just… I mean, you’re so creative, and you’re so generous with your time, and you always understand so much about how ponies interact. And you’re beautiful. And… And I think maybe I’m falling in love with you.”
Rarity blushed a little herself. She’d always found it difficult not to, when somepony confessed their feelings to her, and Twilight’s confession seemed especially heartfelt. “That is… very sweet, darling. Thank you.”
“But I know you don’t feel the same, so it’s okay.”
“Now wait a minute, darling. When did I tell you that?”
“Well, when I… When I tried to kiss you. You didn’t exactly—”
“Luna! Where are you, Luna?” The voice boomed through the ballroom as a white unicorn in a blue chiffon gown strode forward, head high and regal, in an ever-expanding circle of open space.
Twilight’s head turned to stare at the unicorn. She blinked.
Rarity laid a hoof alongside Twilight’s face, turning the purple mare’s eyes back to meet her own.
“Um, Rarity? When did you dress up like one of the palace guards?”
“About five o’clock, darling.”
“So when I…”
“Yes, dear. That was Celestia.”
Twilight’s eyes rolled nervously. “You mean I kissed—”
“Tia, your hypothesis was correct! This masquerade is very amusing!” A purple unicorn wearing a Star Swirl costume strode forward into the open space around the white unicorn.
Rarity felt her cheeks grow crimson. “You’re not the only one, darling,” she muttered.
“Hey, Applejack?”
Fluttershy raised her head from the tear-stained marble of the floor. When she saw the source of the voice, her lips started to tremble.
“You look upset, AJ. Is everything okay?”
“Can you please not call me that, Pinkie? I’m tired of being Applejack. All it did was get me into trouble.”
There was a commotion in a distant part of the ballroom, but Fluttershy ignored it. A warm, familiar shape settled onto the floor beside her and nuzzled into her mane. “Does that mean you didn’t like the party?”
“No! It was awful! And Rainbow Dash is the worst friend ever!”
“Aww, don’t say that Fluttershy.”
“But she… she took advantage of me! And she kissed you! And… and for all I know, she’s off right now trying to convince Twilight about how much Star Swirl the Bearded would have loved getting a hoof massage from Lotus Blossom. She’s the worst!”
There were a number of metallic crashes from the direction of the commotion, and then some yelling.
“Well, if it makes you feel any better, I’m pretty sure Rainbow didn’t actually kiss me.”
Fluttershy sniffed. “Then who—”
“Does it matter?”
“No, I suppose it doesn’t.”
Pinkie rested her head against Fluttershy’s, as the shouting continued. After a while, she spoke. “Are you mad at me, Shy?”
“Why would I be mad at you, Pinkie?”
“I dunno. It just feels like I must have done something wrong. Everypony’s crying, or fighting, or embarrassed, or… What kind of party doesn’t make ponies happy?”
Fluttershy smiled. “I’m happy. You’re here.”
Pinkie hummed contentedly and kissed Fluttershy on the cheek. “Good. But Shy?”
Fluttershy’s breath caught in her throat, and she felt her wings twitch. “Umm, yes?”
“You’re gonna tell me all about being with Rainbow, right?”
“Eeeeeee…”
“And Applejack caught them—”
“I believe the term is in flagrante delicto, dear.”
“Oh my.”
Rarity and Twilight walked on in silence for a few moments.
“Twilight, if I might ask, precisely how much wine have you had tonight?”
“I dunno. A lot, I think.”
“And your inhibitions are…?”
“Um. Pretty low.”
They passed between a pair of statues, Celestia on the right and Luna on the left. Rarity waited to speak until the statues were behind them.
“So if I asked whether you had any interest in a bit of flagrante delicto of our own?”
Twilight’s cheeks blazed like the sun. "Yes, please," she whispered.
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*Laughs and applauds* Bravo. Clearly there needs to be more about Tia chasing Luna and threatening to murder her.
Confusing as hell, but pretty hilarious. Good job.
4167487
i kind of felt that way too, but there was just so much to juggle with the other three stories! anyway, having them conduct their little proxy war off-screen lets everyone imagine it to be much more entertaining than anything i'd write.
4167499
thanks! trying to do this with lots of untagged dialogue and pinkie's stubborn insistence on not being pinkie made it a bit hard to keep things straight, but i hope it wasn't too hard to follow and i'm glad you liked it!
Confuzzling to the brain until heavy breathing was applied.
By the sun, moon and stars... There needs to be a sequel. I've never asked for a sequel before, but the shenanigans in this story amuse me greatly and I would love to see them expanded upon...
Awesome once my brain stopped hurting.
so now is just a changling missing in the mix ... or wait
guard (Rarity)
fluttershy(AJ)
lotus (RD)
Aloe (Pinkie)
StarS(Twilight)
AJ (Fluttershy)
RD/StarS (Luna)
Rarity (Celestia)
wow how did you write it? did you marked every character extra somehow ? so you didn't confused yourself while writing ?
4167718
in the original planning, i actually intended to have two changelings prowling the party, too. but that would have taken too much explanation, and i decided it didn't really add anything. as for keeping everyone else straight, the first thing i did when i wrote this was sit down and make a list of characters and who they were pretending to be. then i just tried to get their voices right. that's how i tried to keep it straight in my head.
4167606
4167551
i didn't mean to confuse everyone quite this much! then again, i suppose when you consider the date and what's been happening on the site, it's only appropriate.
4167559
thanks for the vote of approval! i don't know if this is too likely to draw a sequel, though you might also like a couple stories i mentioned in my blog post about publishing this.
4167737 It was a good confused though! It didn't detract from the story. It made it better! I very much enjoyed the absurdity of it. A comedy of errors as it were
4167831
all correct! and glad you enjoyed it!
This is the best April Fools fic ever. Thanks for making this.
Holy jesus, that was a trip and a half. But major props to you for creating this fun piece.
So hold on, did luna make it look like rd was cheating on aj or what. Because im confused as hell and would greatly appreciate
someone explaining it to me.
How the hell did you write this fix without confusing yourself? The confusion in this made me take all day to read this!
Dammit, this needs a sequel. Stat. This is simply fantastic!
I'm really beginning to wonder how this species ever gets around to reproducing, since they all seem to be lesbians.
4173401
A wizard did it?
Also throwing my hat in for sequel, chapter 2, follow-up, continuity, etc! Bravo, I'm still trying to figure out what really happened and who was doing what.
How...howhowhowhowhowhowhow..... How do you keep track of whose who??
Now I want to hear Flutters try to effect an AJ accent in an actual episode. Because adorable.
Some think that love is infinite, warm and snuggly. In all truth, it's finite, cold and bitter. Now, I'm not philosophic, that's just what I believe.
Also I believe that peace comes at a cost, sometimes that cost is the lives of many. Now let me explain why I believe this. Most of the time, whenever I try to make peace in an argument/fight, (this doesn't just apply for me) I end up making it worse, or paying some sort of price that might involve my own well-being (not financial well-being) or the well-being of the others around me. Notice I say might. Not always does it end badly. Go ahead and dislike this all you want, I'm sticking to my beliefs and I ain't gonna change my mind
Juggling swapped characters and subplots are hard.
Still frickin' funny though!
So dang confusing!
Highly confusing, yet rather amusing! What a winning combination.
I don't think I've ever been this amused and confused at the same time.
Before Twilight and Rarity do anything bad, I'm gonna be the noobiest Kokopelli (Native American spirit that supposedly gave food to the Native Americans) and PUT CASHEWS IN THEIR MOUTHS! IT'S ALWAYS BEEN WANKERSHIM!
Give this comment as many dislikes as you want!
A fine comedy of errors. And Pinkie should consider this party a definite success. Several dozens times as much fun was had as during the average Gala.
4174199 Who was doing
whatwhoKept track of it all, yay!
I just.. don't know how I feel about Dash doing that with Flutters. Maybe something about forgetting it wasn't AJ with wings, but an out of the blue thing about wanting to be with them both, when Pinkie and Flutters are a thing? Doesn't seem all that Dashlike to me.
Still, fun! Luna you naughty thing :D
Did I miss this one somehow? Or was it the April 1st swap thing? Regardless, wow, that made my head hurt, and Pinkie wasn't helping
. Nevertheless, surprisingly fun.
Oh dear. Oh my. This. This is entirely too much. Shipping is one thing, a triple set of simultaneous romantic pairs within the mane six? Madness. It's also hilarious.
I didn't read this story when it was released because it was April fool's and after noticing that both you and Obs had apparently done some switcherooing, I decided that actually browsing fimfic that day was likely to end up corrupting my local story table. Upon checking your story list today, I figured I ought to catch up, so here I am.
I noticed that you paired almost everyone up with themselves, in a manner of speaking, with Andrea Libman's (Pinkie&Flutters) and Ashleigh Ball's (AJ&RD) characters being in relationships with each other, and this pattern, in combination with a slight formality in her first line led me to think "this is Luna" when "Rarity" first made an appearance. (Because Tabitha St. Germain voices both Rarity and Luna) Alas, it was revealed fairly quickly that it was Celestia, though I suppose Rarity and Luna did kiss at one point, but of course, it seems there was a lot of that going around. I also have to mention, this isn't the first story I've seen where Celestia dresses up like Rarity for a costume party.
Enough of that though. How 'bout that writing? This had the potential to be really confusing, and I did at one point entertain the notion of drawing out a diagram of the interactions that occurred in this story, but in the end it was actually fairly easy to keep track of everyone, what with your careful planting of speech patterns. In fact, it was generally easier to recognize characters by their dialogue than by the names used in the narration, as I was never quite sure whether the tags were referring to the actual character or the one they were dressed as, and the choice seemed to fluctuate throughout.
As for the story itself? I laughed. Luna and Rainbow went trolling for kisses and this obviously wasn't really anything to take super seriously, so it was easy to cackle at Twi and everyone's despair. Really, you should know better than to confess deep feelings at a masquerade, dears.
That was hilarious. I managed to keep track of who was who by the way they talked. Luna seems to have enjoyed the masquerade ball the most.
You know, you don't normally dress up as other people you are acquainted with, much less ones attending that very party, for masquerade balls, right? Everyone's choice in costumes seems oddly specific without anyone mentioning that it was deliberately arranged. I would have expected something more like Nightmare Night (which would also have caused less trouble). And it's not like you can't have mistaken identity in the case of concealing costumes, especially if someone like Celestia changed shape to blend in, they don't have to be literally disguised as each-other.
Did someone pick this strange "dress as your friend" theme? And if so, it should probably be mentioned at least early in the chapter. Though, I have some suspicions about Rainbow Dash steering Fluttershy, I doubt she arranged the whole ball.
This is so delightfully confusing. And the ships! So many wonderful ships!
Hm. So what to do with this?
I've managed to read through it without losing track of who is who - or at least, I think so. It was, as was said a lot before, both confusing and entertaining. I like the idea of Luna being kind of a prankster and Celestia being horribly bored by the Gala. I like both FlutterPie and AppleDash and Twilight falling for Rarity is, uh, okay, I guess. It was a funny, original idea.
But there are two things. First, something that feels like it's missing: Closure. I can understand that you ended it at the point where you did, but I feel left with to much questions.
And then, there's Rainbow. At least half a dozen times I thought while reading on 'Slap her across her face as hard as you can and she still deserves so much more pain than that'. Usually, I like her. She's brash and ill-tempered and she doesn't think things through, yeah, maybe. Cheating on AJ with Fluttershy... I may could've been able to store that under 'Rainbow not thinking about the consequences of her actions'. It probably would've been horribly hard and I would've hold a grudge over this, but it would've been possible.
That scenario completely failed when I read about her reactions later on. She was caught in the middle of it. She didn't even care to apologize in any way, instead, suggesting... stuff. What she suggested might fit her personality again, but only fueled my rage.
I have to admit, I'm surprised myself that I took that to heart so much that it soured my whole experience with this story. It's a bit frustrating to watch, but I just can't help it either.
My personal grudges cast aside, this is an entertaining, funny story. So...
Thank you.
5512239
Yeah, I have to admit I'm not entirely comfortable with how I'm writing her either. I'm pretty happy to call it poor Rainbow characterization myself—though one could argue that AJ's openness at the end excuses it a bit, because it's possible Rainbow just knows her partner well, and knows she wasn't going as far out of bounds as one might originally think. I think that's kind of a weak defense, though.
The truth of it is, this is crack-shipping, and I'm twisting her character to fit the story I want to tell. Generally, I don't like doing that, but it's a bit of "horses for courses" here. Crack shipping is where I got my start with fanfic writing, years and years ago, and this was a special event story that seemed like a good match for that particular story style. I'm not immediately sure how I'd go about trying to fix the issue, if I wanted to revise this, because it's sort of the tentpole for one of the story's three lines of humor (Dash being horny, Pinkie taking everything very seriously, and your classic mistaken identity comedy of errors). Maybe dropping hints about problems between Dash and AJ? Hmm. It's an interesting thing to think about.
In any case, thank you for the comment. I genuinely like getting called on issues like that, because it makes me more sensitive and careful when I'm writing my more serious stories. And I'm glad you enjoyed it all, in spite of Dash being a bit of a jerk to her marefriend here!
5512304
BUT... I am delighted to receive such a friendly response. I'm still surprised, each and every time, about how calm and peaceful authors tend to react. At least, around this forum. Thank you again.
Hm. Dropping hints about possible relationship problems could do the trick, I suppose, but then again, this was kind of a light-hearted story and this way of dealing with the problem probably would end up in a way to serious tone. Probably sounds weird, but maybe it would've been easier if AJ would've tried to hit on Flutters herself before - although you then only create not only the problem of explaining why someone like AJ would do so, but also have to deal with the whole 'Fluttershy is already kinda in a relationship with Pinkie'-thingy.
It's hard to keep the mood up and bouncy with a theme like cheating running wild. Luna tricking everyone into kissing is funny and not that much of a problem at all, since it does stir up some drama here and there, but no existential crisis. Hm. Uh... maybe if Rainbow would've tried to lead Flutters away but would've been caught before? While Fluttershy desperately tries to melt into the floor, getting away quietly, there could've been an interesting dialogue between AJ and RD, maybe even something funny, too.
I'm not sure. Just throwing some thoughts around, I guess. As I said, it was a funny story nonetheless and I never would dare question a writers decisions.
I'm completely and utterly confused
Too many Sugarcubes might be bad for your health ;)
What-