Tobirama Senju, the Second Hokage, the man who made dozens of jutsus in his lifetime. His speed was unrivaled in his day, and his love and dedication for the Hidden Leaf Village was rivaled only by his brother's, the First Hokage. How will the legendary Second Hokage fare when what he cares about most is forever out of his reach? Will he find a new reason to live?
Beginning inspired by HiE - A Hollow in Equestria
DISCLAIMER: I do not own any rights to the art or story concepts of Naruto or MLP, the credit goes to the respective owners of both franchises.
Chapters (4)
Interesting start. I want to see where it goes from here.
Tobirama.....he invented Equestria too even if he doesn't know it
He was in Death's grip
I'm actually working on a fic myself where Madara Uchiha ends up in Equestria.
Somewhat pointless dialogue between the real and the clone. All acquired memories by the clone transfers to the original upon being dispelled.
Btw, may I suggest that you write longer chapters and space them out a bit?
These short ones disappear before you know it :P
4168918
I did not know that, about the clones. As for the chapters shortness, I will try to write longer ones but I find it difficult to sit down and write for such a long time. I suppose most people would want a longer chapter every few days, yes?
4169153 Longer chapters is preferred. And shadow clones do transfer gained memories to the user, as shown during Narutos wind training.
you do know that the shadow clones give all their memories to their creator when they dispel right? the clone should have just popped itself and Tobirama would have known everything
4169189 hs0003 already pointed that out for me, and I'll fix that. Thank you for attempting to let me know though.
4169252
If you're unsure about certain things, or you need information, there is a wiki that is available to help.
http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Narutopedia
Please be sure to leave a comment telling me what you all think. Only through constructive criticism can I hope to improve the story and my writing level. Thanks!
Assuming danger is very typical prey behavior.
4184316
Yep.
Idiot ponies, your false accusations shall be your downfall.
He should place some seals so he can Hiraishin away if he gets caught again.
4184710 Thank you for the suggestion. I had forgotten about that exceptionally useful technique. I will put it to use before too long.
I find Tobirama's skepticism on the ponies misplaced. Coming from a world where it's possible to summon such a wide variety of different animals and the fact that they can all (if not most) talk, I'd have to say his wonder on how ponies can talk and associate with one another is a little weird.
As for the community itself being mostly ponies, I'd think the first thing to cross his mind is that he's at one of those special places where the summons live, kinda like when Naruto went to the frog's home on Mount Myoboku.
Other than those points, I'm really liking this so far. I've not really known the second hokage at all so this'll be a real treat.
Grammar is good, no awkward sentences or phrasings (except for the Applejack one just at the end, "We are most powerful when the elements are in one place" just sounds weird. I'd suggest saying somethin' about Twilight's prowess in magic), and it's already shaping up to be nice. 'Till next time.
i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6991206144/h448DA3C6/
4185116 Thank you for raising those points, I'll see what I can do about them. As for Applejack's odd dialogue, this is my first time writing so I'm still learning how to put down each individual's personality into words.
so is he gonna head to another place/ town like Manehattan? is it wrong I hate how ponies catch the highly skilled ninja almost always! or said ninja give up or lose to the enemy due to carelessness to be imprisonment and yelled interrogation by the six instead of guard or princesses and then friendship with dangerous guy after favors and exchange of skills! and why is it always pinkie pie!?
insult to ninja long hone experience training and instinct and she just says he over there! cause he for some reason follows! not fair... hem guess it be fun few chapter now there trying to catch the horrible person cause pinkie sense says so and they stupid thinking like they did to zecora...
guess he gonna henge and mind illations to blend in better and please no to this theory some writers do! chakra not magic his body has chakra coils and core to make and use chakra from long use of practice and training! and I hope for his hiding ya might mix it up like he hide as an animal considered semi sentient or objects to fool pinkie pie he was hokaga one time so he smart and knows turning himself pony to spy in town is dumb move expert train in infiltration and information gathering and other things it be an insult to his long experience side I hope there a few possible twist like would it be real sweet if it was a train guard to sense something odd then the untrained civilians! cause to many twilights in stories I have read seem to have twilight paranoia and the o I know a spell to find so and so and set trap to catch the ninja and ninja underrated danger and trap caught.... when said ninja should lay low and disappear and knows how to avoid being caught..
4185436 Understandable, and I wish you luck with your first story.
Ever need any help, I'm more than willing to offer a hand sometime in the future.
4185567 Clearly you're a huge Naruto fan. I'm sorry if the way I do things in the story displeases you. It's true that this is the Second Hokage and he's very powerful, but this is Pinkie Pie we're talking about. She spits on the laws of psychics on more than one occasion, so it's not that surprising that she is the one to reveal Tobirama. At the same time I have to remind you that this is a fan-made story, so not every little detail will be correct. It's just how it is. If you want a Naruto crossover that is perfect in every detail relating to the Naruto franchise, why not write your own? As for the "twist" you wanted, I assure you Tobirama has much in store for the ponies that will inevitably encounter him again. This recent chapter was also a way to get the "wheels turning" as it were. I hope you enjoy the upcoming chapters, where I will add more action, and ninjutsu, of course.
4186989 so pinkie got some demi goddess blood in her like in some sense like discord? sorry for the nag I didn't mean to come off like that fortunately im not asking for perfect details just some basic facts and classic cannon info everyone know from Naruto.
a meeting between new world and culture clashing is exciting to me but then some writers just write all the sudden little wtf just cause people don't like the fact ponies could be curb stomp in some sense in certain areas and look to even the playing field with a peaceful race add war tactic and weapons... that kind of things.
but im definitely looking forward to the next chapter!
Very good story dude, you have definitely perked my interest :D, I can't wait for the next chapter, I wonder if Tobirama is as powerful as the princesses, I also didn't know that Tobirama was claims to be the worlds fastest Shinobi, I mean there is most likely other Shinobi that could match his speed like Minato, Raikage and Bijuu Cloak Naruto
4250529 His speed was unrivaled in his day. However, I would like to point out that the jutsu that Minato was most known for, his Flying Raijin, was CREATED by Tobirama, which obviously means he was quite adept at using said jutsu.
4251731 oh lol I should really search up Tobirama on the internet and find out more info on him lol
i look forward to this story's return ^_^
5342639 I think The story is dead. 36 weeks has pass.
5376632 probably :(
5376714 Then read this. http://www.fimfiction.net/story/136471/naruto-apples-and-cinnamon
I love you.
yeah right... Tobirama uses something and had rainbow dead...
Nice story
Maybe use a few more jutsus
Its one of Tobiramas specialities
Like the technique to sense chakra by touching the earth. Or his incredible affinity for water could be used to better hide in even a puddle...
Or other high level jutsus from konoha like Kakashis diving-like-a-fish-in-earth
Well done so far
J
Continue com essa história por favor tá muito legal mesmo eu amei essa história por favor