• Member Since 29th Jul, 2013
  • offline last seen April 25th

Ezrienel


I'm a novelist, published poet, artist and university student. I am a pegasister from Alberta, Canada.

T
Source

The constantly rebellious and audacious Rainbow Dash had never been fond of the Catholic all-girls boarding school she had been forced to attend. However, after abruptly confessing a personal secret in the middle of church Mass, she realizes that she had a lot more to fear than the nuns' wrath.

AN: I do expect negative reactions to the setting. This is just a test to see if you all are interested in this kind of story, if you are uncomfortable with Catholicism, you don't have to read. I myself had to do a lot of research on the subject but am no expert, so if I made any errors, feel free to correct me. Also, this is intended to be set somewhere ambiguously around the early half of the 1900's.

Cover image temporary.

Chapters (7)
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Comments ( 236 )
Arby #1 · Apr 9th, 2014 · · · Black ·

good story fag :moustache:

eventual romance? and who with?

4209433 Not all pairings must be revealed at the beginning of a story. :moustache: Remember Percy Jackson? Harry Potter? It's all about the story, not who ends up with who.

4209443
4209433
But knowing me... it's Appledash. Kinda my forte here.

4209456
Spoiler!
More power to ya, mate. Good pacing if you're not just tacking "APPLEDASH" on the front. Keep it up. :moustache:

4209461
I shall try!! Thanks, I can already tell people are gonna downvote right away. Got the first downvote literally less than a minute after it was posted, sooooo clear sign.

4209456 figured as much, but there's a difference in knowing, and being absolutely sure.

4209467 Yeah, that's pretty annoying. It's amazing how people can read 6,000 words in ten seconds when the average person thinks at 700 words a minute. Talk about a prodigy! :pinkiecrazy:

</sarcasm>

Anyway, keep it up. You'll do fine if you keep trying. :pinkiesmile:

Hopefully this isn't going to wind up being religion-bashing... I'll read up to that point though. :ajsmug:

Now... I could, but I don't want to...
It's very rare that stories make me quit at the SHORT DESCRIPTION.
I give you a thumb. :coolphoto:

4209505
Not bashing per se, just a... note on it. I grew up in Catholic school, so I know the pros and cons, but there are some people that take it to an extreme and there are some valid points. So we'll see how I go about it because I dont want to offend religious folks or non-religious folks.

SHAUN?! SHAAUN! SHAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUN!



JAAAYSOOON!

Knowing you this is going to be fantastic, but due to time restraints I'll have to wait a little while to read it... Fuck me and my own damn stories...

The priest quoting leventicus doesn't work all that well, considering that those were mainly rules for living under Jewish law, something the new covenent overrides due to salvation being open to everyone, not just the jews. A more appropiate quote for him to say, if you're going this route would be from Paul in 1st Corentions (spelling is shit, on moble) 6:9.

It's a verse that has a bit sketchy translation, but it's the passage most Christans against monogamous gay relationships point to in order to defend their position.

The girl they were talking about it was Dash wasnt it i don't even think a name was mentioned. i am confused but where the heck are twilight spike and pinkie? Of course it seemed i had to reread it several times to get what was going since i am unfamiliar with this style of writing.

Wow, good start. I like this so far. Interesting idea of using a religion, that made it a touch more interesting to me.

Keep up the great work. :twilightsmile:

4209587

Long as it doesn't get too hate-filled. I may not be Catholic, but I do consider myself religious. And these days, it seems like Catholics are a little more open-minded than they ever were before.

Also, I find it a bit humorous that you're using British slang in a Catholic school. Do they have Catholic schools in Great Britain? Ever since Henry the Eighth, Britain and the Church haven't exactly seen eye to eye. Is that a recent development I wasn't aware of?

4209715
Ahhh priests often quote both the old and new testament in my experience, this was just the best and most offensive and blatant that I could find. Aaaaaand it's supposed to be set a long time ago so older quotes make more sense to me.
4209915
yes I am aware lol, well, my mother went to a protestant boarding school when she was a kid so a lot of the slang and stuff I got off of her. But the Catholic thing, that's my own schooling. I'd go full protestant IF I had much of an idea about it personally... which unfortunately I do not. :C
I kinda just... wanted to use old slang because I never get the chance.

A new story by Ezrienel? YES! Must read....when I get a chance anyways. Still if this is as good as your other stories I cant wait!

4209967

Didn't mean to sound corrective or anything. I was curious.

So far, so good. Can't wait for more (of this and The Barmaid). :pinkiehappy:

4210001
It's a little more pretentious with the somewhat more articulate vocabulary... buuuuut I kinda like it like that.

4210021
Oh no I totally value the opinion entirely, it's just... I don't know enough about protestant to correctly portray it... if you do, that'd be cool for some help but... otherwise, I kinda gotta go with what I know :twilightblush:

I was forced to attend Catholic school once. Worst year of my life that was.:rainbowderp:

4210026 Guilty as charged :pinkiehappy:

I'm with 4209715 on this one, at least depending on what it is you want to accomplish. Quoting Leviticus kind of sets the argument up as a strawman for the reasons he mentioned. Corinthians is a better passage if you want the character to retain credibility. I'll admit that the atmosphere would be different around the turn of the 20th century, though—homosexuality was so roundly despised until the last few decades that nobody would have been worrying about whether this was one of those points that required theological nuance. But being conscious of your audience is also important, and given a choice between two arguments that would have been equally valid for the time period (Leviticus vs. Corinthians), it makes sense to choose the one that provides more appropriate characterization for modern readers: Leviticus if you want to make the character appear more prejudiced and ill-intentioned, Corinthians if you want to make the character appear more serious and well-reasoned.

Don't know that I have a whole lot more to say. I'm going to spare you the downvote because I suspect you may get a fair number of those for doing a religious topic, and that's actually something I'm happy to see here. The prose is overburdened with adverbs and circumlocutions, though, which makes reading this a real pain. I think you could probably cut this down to about half its present length (and I'm not exaggerating, I think 3200 words would be a good target) and make this a much better story. As it stands, your words are constantly getting in the way of your story.

4209915
I don't know for a fact that there are Catholic schools in England, but there are plenty of Catholics and I'd assume Catholic schools as well. That should still be fine at the turn of the 20th century, I think. Catholics were collectively persona non grata for a long time (and Guy Fawkes and the gunpowder plot didn't help), but I think England has been beyond that for well over 100 years. (I'll go check, though, and revise this comment if I'm mistaken.)


ETA: Here's a link to St. Angela's, in London, which is a Catholic girls' school founded in 1862.

4210175

Hmmm. For some reason, I thought John Paul the Second was the first Catholic priest to visit England. Maybe he was just the first Pope to do so since the founding of the Church of England.

So...uh.... Can I ask you something...?

Can you write anything OTHER then Appledash? Like just once?

4210237
Yeah, I think it has to be pope. Wikipedia is sounding like they were already getting bishops back in 1850.

Roman Catholicism in the United Kingdom

4210238

:flutterrage: NEVER! YOU CAN'T HAZ OUR EZ!

4210245

Hmm... interesting. Shows how little I know of the Catholic Church. :ajsleepy:

Well, I just hope all this hullabaloo about quotes and historical accuracy and whatnot doesn't dissuade you from writing more. It is fiction, obviously, so you should be able to include some exacerbated beliefs for the sake of the story, if that's what you want to do. If people want to get their boxers in a twist, I say let them.

4210238

There are other ships other than AppleDash? Nonsense. Surely you jest.

4210309
It's not so much me getting my knickers flummoxed as it is me suggesting the priest would make a better character as less a straw-man villain, and more of a well-meaning character that thinks Dash is a good kid that makes mistakes on occasion and is going down the wrong way in life.

4210238
You're right. How dare she not write the best ship, RariJack? :flutterrage:

Um what just happened? Who got pregnant? I don't even think the girl they were gossiping about was even mentioned yeah this fanfic is confusing. :applejackconfused:

4210238 I've done my best trying to convince her to write Sparity. No luck. But soon, she'll crack. :moustache:

Hmmm...interesting.

I shall await more:scootangel:

You've got my attention! Though your stories always do regardless of the subject matter. Catholic or not, I feel like a school like this would make me feel immensely suffocated as well. Poor Dash.

I eagerly await more (alongwithBarmidandNowKiss)! :pinkiehappy:

The more i reread this the more its bothering me who the hell got pregnant!? THIS STORY IS TOO FUCKING CONFUSING!:flutterrage:

4210931
Oh that rose okay how can I forget Roseluck? But thanks the story was written in a way that it's hard to catch every detail.

4211154
Do you have a source on this by any chance? I haven't heard that before, but I'd be very interested to know more. If it's the case, it wouldn't be the only thing that kind of went south in the medieval church. The modern conception of sin as something that needs to be punished pretty much dates to some obscure folk from that period, too, if I remember correctly—and it's interesting to juxtapose that with the Augustinian view of sin, which I think is far more intellectually palatable.

P.S. Also Catholic.

I feel like in this one, on this issue, you might've rushed the conflict a bit. I personally feel like you could've spent a little more time fleshing out RD's isolation at the school and the pressure her peers put on her to keep it to herself. To be specific, her outburst seems to have been building up inside of her for quite some time and we don't get to really see it here. Maybe I just skipped over the passage that shows that she's felt for years that she was an outcast hiding her self to fit in (for what, I don't know). Just my thoughts

Ezry's fics thorugh intra-vain and BOOM! all my reading troubles are solved. Yet another masterpiece I await for updates with eagerness... Hit me up about my issue when you can, please?

4210153
Well considering the priest is literally only the bad guy in this one scene... I don't care how his few lines come off really lol. The quote is intended to be prejudiced an not entirely rational, as the priest has about ten seconds to response I doubt he considered every possible option either.
4210238
Mmmm I could, but I love appledash as my otp so I have no reason to please everyone els by conforming to their want rather than my own. I write what I like.

4211284
Yeah its meant to be rushed. Jumping into the middle if the action for once, since I rarely do that... Just want to o something different.

4210309
Also, think I'll abandon this project. The negativity and debate is really not inspiring me to continue. Though I knew as much would happen.

I'm really liking this story so far and it had me on the edge of my seat towards the end.

There are catholic schools in England and I know because I went to one for primary and secondary school. There are many other catholic schools near me and due to the large number of pupils there that don't have the same beliefs, they are a much more diverse place and no longer as strict as they used to be. My evidence? I went to the same secondary school as my dad and his brothers did but when they were naughty, they were sent up to one of the Brothers to get beaten with belts, rulers, canes or whatever. I mean, my dad got hit with his gym shoe because it was dirty. Now they just give you a detention or get you to write a letter of apology. They still have church services for the special feast days that the whole school has to attend. There are catholic colleges and universities around, such as Leeds Trinity or St. Mary's College in Twickenham, but they're aren't as common.

Just if people wanted to know.

If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death. Their bloodguiltiness is upon them. Leviticus, 20:13

lel this says nothing about lesbians though :rainbowlaugh:

4211740
Oh, okay then. Go ahead with it, writers prerogative and all. And I'm sorry to hear that you won't be continuing this. I actually wanted to see where it went exactly.

4211739

That's fair. I guess I just wanted to see how you would write something else.

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