• Member Since 24th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Feb 16th, 2013

Silent Hunter


T

It been thirty years since the monstrous demons attacked Equestria. Desperate searches to find an ultimate defense lead to the discovery of the giant weapons of the Forgotten known as mobile suits. What little the alliance between the Solar Empire and the New Lunar Republic does realize that the iron god does exist. That god, as the Forgotten refer to, is a gundam.

Chapters (6)
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Comments ( 12 )

Always nice to see another Gundam crossover.

I... can't really understand the story description. You could put it on Word and see if you can fix it to make it readable

654854 Sorry, Word couldn't help me with the description as far as I understand you. Maybe some constructive criticism can help improve the description itself. :scootangel:

I honestly cannot read this, half of it is non-sensical while also having terrible grammer, an obvious lack of actual editting, you explain nothing and genereally make no sense.

To make this readable you would honestly need about 3 hours of solid editting.

717701

img.photobucket.com/albums/v605/SSJJolt/0401_Gundam.jpg

Honestly? The first paragraph would be a good place to start. It's convoluted, rushed and that falcon comes out of nowhere. Heck, you could have used nearly 500 words just getting to that point. The description of the Gundam should have been expanded to nearly a paragraph in and of itself... that one paragraph should have taken a page to cover everything.

I wish i could show you my WIP fic to give you an example, however you'll just have to wait... Mobile Saddle Gundam Friendship is a fic being developed with great levels of love and care.

Mobile Saddle Gundam Friendship has been uploaded, I suggest you take a look to see what kind of quality you should be aiming for. :rainbowdetermined2:

Witch gundam did they uncover X,Unicorn,Zero,Banshee can someone please tell me

witch gundam is it 00 Raiser, RX-78-2, MK-II, Strike, Impulse, Throw me a bone here

i think its pretty good so far iv heard other say their are grammer issuse but that doesnt stop me i get what our trying to say this is great

THIS WAS GOOD BUT I FEEL THE BATTLES COULD LAST A BIT LONGER

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