"But seriously, Tavi. Haven't you ever dated anyone? You can still fall in love, can't you?" Lyra asked, unwrapping one of the basket sweets Octavia insisted on sharing with them.
"In theory, yes." She said. "But..."
"Ponies always go too fast for you, don't they?" Octavia agreed with Bon Bon.
"Every time I explained that I'm demiromantic, that I would only feel prepared for deeper intimacy after knowing them, they would never listen. They would try to kiss me on our first date..." Octavia explained, unwrapping her Heart Caramel. "I've tried several times, but that was the outcome of all. I presume I don't have to explain I had to dump them right after that. And they all thought I would love the kiss; that this time, with them, it would be different."
Good start, and I can't wait to see more. I was genuinely surprised that
English isn't your first language, because I spotted very little errors at all.
Looking forward to the next update!
I like the story, it appeals to me very well.
I am demisexual/romantic, so its nice to find another one on this site, and a story about demisexuality too!
plus Octavia, and short chapter :D
I am going to appreciate this story to the end.
Well I just learnt new terminology, hadn't even heard of the word before now. good start so far, I will be interested to see where this goes.
Who would not want to kiss Octavia?
I like it, and im interested to see where you go with demi-sexual octavia and vinyl.
I can't believe it took me this long to find this fic, god I dropped the ball
SO I like it, but grammar is harming your story. You seem to keep leaving out a word or two. like int the quote you kept referring to: “Someponies aren't that good with some things. That doesn't mean they aren't worth,” you need a word at the end. like "worth something" or "That doesn't mean they are worthless"
But please keep writing.
Aww, just one?
I look forward to it.
4229644 Haha, not really! I meant I had just added one more chapter, there's still more than one to come =P
4245102
THANK YOU!
Yay! An Ace!
Know how to solve demisexuality? Puberty and a reality check.
4306356 How funny, because I guarantee I've had both of them, and I'm still demisexual! Hm, I'm not sure about it, but you may have some wrong information on your hands, fella ^^
4258640 Yep! =P
4306356 such things are never that simple.
Octavia and Vinyl belong together.
im not sure what it is about this fic but its by far my fave
The story plot is a bit bland and seems to heavily focus on the mildly interesting topic of demisexuality more than anything else. It''s not terrible to read by any means but having finished chapter four and looking back so far it's not leaving much of note that really stands out.
I was ready to pounce on you over the technical aspects of the story (spelling, grammar, semantics, paragraph structure, etc) until I read that English isn't your first language. I'll let it slide, but there are plenty of people willing to edit stories on the sight, so I suggest you recruit one. You can start by looking among the groups for ones offering help with editing and proofreading. I'll continue reading to see if this story is for me, though.
Oh ho, meeting the family eh. That's going to be interesting
i love what you have done so far and there personality's seem so right . please continue this. i really look forward to reading the rest and towards your updates
4306627 i guess i second that, i would not say that i am completely demisexual ( as far as i understand it), but i usually don´t like to rush things, as others like to do. That means if i understand it right and Octavia don´t want to rush things, but she seems a bit extrem.....maybe she was just affraid and even recoiled about Vinyl holding her hooves.
Oh i was hoping for something like that, i hope Octavia can make things a bit easier for Vinyl. It would be awesome if Vinyls mother would be suprised with her visit and would be rather nervous the whole evening. It could be that she thought, that Vinyl told her a lie.
I really like the story till now, i don´t want you to rush the story, but i hope to read a new chapter soon, but...take your time i don´t want you do write a less good chapter, because i made you to write faster.
edit: I am very happy that this Vinyl isn´t the usually foward one, and normally she would have already tried to have sex with two or three other stallions, and have a date with Octavia after it or something like that.
You won´t loose me as an audience for this story.
Cute
Please more.
Seeing fics about characters on the ace spectrum is always the best! I'm ace myself, and this just gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling. Plus, Octavia <3 Vinyl!
not bad, i would like to see Vinyl´s Mom more nervous about Octavia, it is funny for me.
So many mistakes that aren't completely mistakes. The sort of thing that I usually just let slide, but there are so many here, and I think avoiding these situations would help you become a better writer.
she found all the inspiration she used in her cello pieces in Luna's mysterious moonlight.
She was stuck on a new piece, and when she was it's usual for her to open the window and look at the moon for a way out of her musician's block.
This one is an actual error.
Sweetie Drops
Lyra kept that annual because she knew Octavia felt a little lonely living on her own in Canterlot.
They stayed talking for some time but feeling tired and sleepy, they all went to their respective rooms before the clock struck midnight.
I have no idea what this is supposed to mean, unless, of course you mean papers on The Strain Theory, a theory about what causes somebody to commit a crime.
Still, she had to go to those rehearsals to help the newer musicians with their parts
he was one of Octavia's closest coworkers.
The saying is "pay no attention to me" not "do not notice me"
How somepony had to be in love with another pony to respect their life choices.
Lyra proceeded to hug her friend one last time before they left.
Lyra is constantly thinking about you, more than normal, to be honest.
Merry Hearth Warming’s Eve to you too.
You’re the first one I've known that supports me in my job choice.
She felt beautiful for the first time in a long time.
That year, the fuzz was even greater, as most of the veterans had retired, and those new musicians filled the places.
I have no idea what word should go here, but fuzz is not it.
5766489
Buzz maybe? But definitely not fuzz.
You have already studied your parts for months now, and I’m sure you are going to do a splendid job if you manage to control your nerves for a short time.
So breathe in and out, do a little revising if you need to, and don’t focus too much on the show.
Your Highnesses.
They meet many other ponies with stolen talents along the way,
Without her help three days ago, the story, like many others, I presume, would have an open ending.