Grief and Grievances
Grief and Grievances
Applejack found herself crying. She had come to a brush with death. She had come so close to losing everything and everyone that she knew and loved, only to have it saved in the most remarkable way. Tears ran down her face as memories of sensations from the last few minutes flooded back to her. The helpless tumble of falling, the growing roar of a rushing river below, the twinge of pure dread and terror at the thought of loss and family, the sharp pain in her chest of hooves grabbing her, the lifting sensation of a slowing fall, the adrenaline of realizing that she was safe. Safe in the arms of a pegasus mare, the one pony she knew she knew she loved and she now knew loved her back.
Her eyes shed tear after tear as she shared a perfect moment with the pony that had saved her life. The pony she loved. The kiss made everything melt away. All of their surroundings, all other emotions, Applejack could only feel happiness and love as she kissed Rainbow Dash. Everything seemed right in the world and her moment of pure bliss seemed to stretch out into infinity until…
Rainbow Dash broke away. Applejack gazed into the magenta eye of the rainbow-maned pegasus and saw moisture brimming there too. A pink shade crossed the blue cheeks of the other mare as the two stared longingly into each other’s’ eyes. Applejack knew that that look must be reflected in her own features. She could feel the hot rush of blood to the surface of her face, the continued stream of tears running down her cheeks. Without needing to be bidden, Rainbow Dash leaned forward and rubbed her face against Applejacks, her soft fur mopping up the wet tears from Applejack’s own face. The heat of a compassion that Applejack never even knew Rainbow was capable of warmed her face, and a soft, contented smile graced the feature of the farm-pony. She drank in the tender affection of the loving pegasus and felt her mind at ease.
A chorus made up of two voices broke the two ponies from their perceived isolation. “AAAWWWWWWWWWW” Came the sound of two little fillies from over to the side. Rainbow and Applejack both turned, still in each other’s’ arms, to see this sudden intrusion into their private world. Both were blushing even harder than ever now.
Applebloom and Sweetie Belle both had looks of abject happiness on their faces. Scootaloo just stared, dumbfounded, barely processing what she saw. “R-R-Rainbow D-Dash? Are you… Are you a… uh… Why are you…?”
She never got to finish her question. Scootaloo found herself suddenly swept up in a forceful hug by Applebloom and Sweetie Belle. “Aren’t they just so cute together?” Sweetie Belle cried out excitedly.
“They’re adorable!” Applebloom joined in, “Way to go big sis!”
The two other fillies hugged Scootaloo tight, giggling with excitement, their previous trauma all but forgotten. After struggling at first, Scootaloo joined in the fun, rolling around giggling with her two best friends, without a care in the world.
Applejack leaned her head against Rainbow’s neck as she watched the three fillies pile on top of each other and roll around with fits of laughter in a dance commemorating the innocence and happiness of the young. She let out a contented sigh, breathing in the scent of Rainbow Dash’s mane as she inhaled again. A cool, wet scent, like the air after a good rainstorm, she realized. She breathed deeply. Applejack was glad she wouldn’t have to explain her feelings to these fillies, their joyous laughter seemed to just tell her that they understood. ‘Our friends won’t be as easy.’ She thought to herself. She thought she would have enough time to think up how to go about telling them though, time to discuss things with Rainbow, time to build up the necessary courage.
But fate is rarely so kind. A shrill voice broke through the air of the clearing on the cliffside. “Sweetie Belle! I was so worried about you; you should never run off in here again!” Rarity was here.
She burst from the forest, her mane and tail looking surprisingly none the worse for wear, and immediately saw Applejack and Rainbow Dash, looking completely startled. Applejack had her head buried in Rainbow’s mane, her scent temporarily making her forget the predicament she was in. Rainbow had a wing draped over the back of the orange earth pony, blushes filling both of their faces.
“Darlings,” Rarity began, “What exactly is going on here?”
Applejack just stood there. ‘Not Rarity,’ thought AJ, ‘She’s always with stallions. She’d probably be the least understandin’ of any of ‘em! Ah’m not ready to tell anypony yet, least of all her!’ As these thoughts flitted about her head she didn’t move, she stayed as still as a statue against the pegasus mare that made her feel comfortable.
Sweetie Belle decided to answer. “Oh, sis!” She cried, “It was so terrifying but so beautiful! Me and Scootaloo and Applebloom were sliding off the edge, and Applebloom fell off, but Applejack grabbed her, and we had to hold on to keep them from falling, and then Rainbow saved Applebloom, but then I couldn’t hold on any longer so I had to let go of Applejack and Scootaloo couldn’t hold her all by herself so she fell and we were all really scared!” She paused for breath, sounding very much like Pinkie Pie as she ran through her story at lightning speed. “And then Rainbow Dash dived down and she was going so fast, then we saw Applejack fall into the fog below us and we were really scared because we thought she was going to die but then Rainbow swooped in after her and we saw her pull her up and lift her all the way out all be herself!” She was jabbering excitedly, but Rarity seemed to be getting the entire story. A twinge of fear leapt through Applejack as she realized what was coming next. She didn’t want Rarity to know, but there was no stopping Sweetie Belle. “And then they were both crying and Rainbow Dash said she loved her! So they landed and then they kissed! And they hugged and they kissed and they cried and it was beautiful!” Sweetie Belle finished her high speed story with a little squeal of excitement.
A very perplexed looking Rarity turned towards the two mares. “Darlings, is this true?” Applejack braced for the insults that she was so sure would follow. Rarity wouldn’t be one to approve of filly-foolers. She was sure of that.
Applejack felt the comforting wing leave her back. She looked over at Rainbow Dash, who was now stepping out in front of her, a look of bound determination spread on her face as she looked directly at the white unicorn before her. “We’re in love.” She said simply, but with enough finality and purpose to speak volumes.
“Well, darlings, that’s just…” Applejack cringed as Rarity spoke, “Wonderful!” Applejack looked up, a look of confusion apparent on her face.
“Huh? She asked, unable to stop herself, “Ya’ll approve? But ah thought, what with all the stallions you’re always with, that ya’ll wouldn’t take too kindly to me and Dash…” Applejack stopped before she started rambling.
“Well, I do enjoy the… erm… company… of stallions, yes, but anypony who knows me knows that I embrace all love! If you two are happy together, then I’m more than happy. How could you think I could be so old-fashioned so as to not approve of your little romance? In fact, this would make a fabulous romance novel! Oh, I just must get your whole touching story so I can send it into my favorite author for…”
Rarity’s fantasy was cut off as a new voice sang out through the clearing. “Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow Dash!” It called. Suddenly, the shrubs where the other ponies had walked in were parted, and, horn aglow, a lavender unicorn trotted her way into their midst, followed closely by a low-flying yellow pegasus mare and a bouncing pink earth pony. Twilight Sparkle’s face turned from an expression of worry to one of joy when she saw the six ponies before her.
Sweetie Belle, now with help from Applebloom and Scootaloo, was now more than happy to regale everypony with her story of near-death and romance. Before long, every one of the group of friends was up to speed on Ponyville’s newest couple.
“I just knew it!” Pinkie began to sing, “I knew it ever since Dashie asked for that part in the play, and then when Applejack came looking for Dashie, I just knneeeeewww iiiiittt!” She bounced around everypony in excitement. “I’m going to have to throw the biggest party ever now! You guys are so great together!”
“You two are in love?” asked Fluttershy in a small, but very happy voice. “That’s so wonderful. I know several of my animal friends who behave just like you guys, and they…” Fluttershy ducked her head beneath her wing to hide a smile that was spreading across her face at the thought. “I’m sure you’ll be very happy together.” She finished in a voice that barely registered, as she slyly pawed at the ground and held back giggles at an inside joke only she knew.
“This is such an opportunity!” Twilight exclaimed, “I can learn so much about the magic of friendship from you two! Just think of all I can report to Princess Celestia on the magic of more-than-friendship! Oh, where are my manners, I’m really happy for you guys!”
The voices of all her best friends swam through Applejack’s head as the memory faded. Everypony congratulating her and Rainbow Dash. Everypony saying how wonderful it was. Everypony wishing them happiness. Applejack’s mind lingered on that day, that wonderful, magical day from many months ago. On that day, everything had seemed so perfect, everything had made Applejack happy, she had felt loved, and needed, and content. Everything in the world was as it should have been on that day when she and Rainbow Dash had embarked on a memorable journey of discovery and love those many months ago.
‘Not like today, not like now.” She thought to herself as she silently watched the coffin being lowered into the gaping hole that stood before her. That hole was a black mouth, swallowing all the happiness and joy Applejack had gained over the past few months and replacing it with a soul-chilling depression.
The voices that she had heard over those months continued to flow through her head. The voices of her friends, her family, and one voice in particular. One voice that kept recurring and repeating in her head. One voice that she longed to hear, but as she watched the coffin slip into the black void, she knew she would never hear it again, at least not outside of her mind. As the lid of the coffin, an apple pie carved into its top, sank down into the inky blackness, that voice filled her head again.
"Remember child, you need to follow your heart. Follow your heart to the ends of the earth, and you will always find happiness." And Applejack was overcome with grief.
Applejack looked around to all of her friends, her remaining family, everypony gathered to mourn with her. All of their mixed relatives had descended on Ponyville for the funeral. The audience of family members surrounded her, most crying, some trying to keep a brave face, but all touched by the loss of their oldest member. Right out in front, directly to Applejack’s left, Applebloom sobbed into the ground, unwilling to look up at the new gravestone or the black maw in front of it. Big Macintosh stood over her, stroking Applebloom’s mane with his hoof, barely fighting back tears himself. Fluttershy, calm and collected, oddly enough considering her emotional state, hovered next to them, whispering comforting words and thoughts to him. Beyond her, Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, and even Pinkie Pie, her hair down and looking quite straight, all bowed their heads in respect. Even with tears dripping down her cheeks and nose, Applejack couldn’t help but feel grateful to her friends for their support. She tried to sniff back tears, but to no avail. This pony, always a source of comfort, a source of advice, a source of help, a source of reason, was gone. Gone forever from the life of Applejack, Applebloom and Big Macintosh, and her passing left a hole that Applejack felt she might never refill.
She looked to her right. There standing next to her, a breeze stirring the hair of her mane and tail, an expression of steadfast determination on her face as she stared forward, stood Rainbow Dash. She was composed, calm, quiet, and strong. She faced forward with a strength that came from a desire to not show emotion, but it was powerful. Applejack needed that strength, needed that persistence, needed someone to be her rock in such times of loss. Rainbow Dash was her rock.
Without another thought, Applejack leaned over and buried her face in the fluttering mane of Rainbow Dash. She inhaled deeply, and just as it had so long ago, the cool, wet scent of a beautiful rain storm filled her mind. She felt Rainbow Dash’s neck vibrate ever so gently, as the pegasus nuzzled her marefriend with all the compassion and strength of a pony who was unendingly loyal to those she loved. Applejack felt supported by the strength of Rainbow Dash, she felt safe. With her face sheathed and protected by a six-colored mane, Applejack continued to cry. Rainbow Dash didn’t flinch at the tears soaking her mane and neck, Applejack needed her now, she needed her to be strong, she needed her to be there. Rainbow draped one wing over Applejack’s back and held her close, continuing to nuzzle, letting her strength and comfort support the earth pony who had lost so much, and was only now letting her emotions go, letting her loss overcome her in a grand display of a release of pent-up emotion and feelings. Rainbow Dash would be there for Applejack, keeping her close, to keep her from getting lost.
Rainbow Dash woke up in her cloud bed the next day. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes as she padded across the soft cloud floor towards her mirror, about to get ready for the day. She hated waking up early in the mornings, but she had been doing so with more frequency these past few months. If she could get Ponyville’s weather squad ready and done with their jobs earlier in the day, that meant she would have more time for Applejack.
‘And now,’ Rainbow thought soberly as she made her way downstairs, ‘I’ll need to be spending more time with her than ever.’ The funeral had only been yesterday, and even then, Granny Smith had only passed away a few days before that. “Natural causes. She was just getting on in years. Everypony’s body must give out eventually.” Nurse Redheart had said. Applejack had been excruciatingly upset ever since then, so much so that it very nearly tore down the brave façade that Rainbow Dash kept up around everypony else to see her marefriend in so much pain and distress. Rainbow had been going to see her every day, offering comforting words, a wing to hold her, and all she could offer. It was the least she could do, but it didn’t seem to be having the desired effect. Applejack was still miserable.
Throughout her duties as a weatherpony, Rainbow could not keep focused. More than once, one of the other weatherponies had to call out to her to get her back on track when she zoned out and made a mistake while not paying attention. She was thinking about Applejack, about all the pain she must be in, about how she needed to be there to help her. For the rest of the day until their jobs were finished by early afternoon, Rainbow couldn’t keep her mind on her work.
When they were finally finished though, Rainbow breathed a sigh of relief. In the early afternoon light, Celestia’s sun high over their heads, she flew off away from the other pegasi without waiting for formalities. She flew as fast as she could do so safely towards Sweet Apple Acres. Row upon row of fruit laden trees loomed on the horizon, and Rainbow flew faster to reach her destination as it neared. She soared above the stands of trees that seemed to stretch out into infinity and the barn and Apple family farmhouse loomed in her sights. As she got closer though, a voice loomed up from below that made her stop in her tracks and dive fast for the ground.
“Miss Rainbow Dash!” Big Macintosh called. He sounded worried.
“Macintosh, I told you that you don’t need to be all formal with me, just call me Rainbow or something, OK?” Rainbow tried to smile, but she could tell they were both worrying about the same thing, or rather, the same pony.
“Sorry, but there ain’t no time for pleasantries Miss Dash!” Macintosh seemed frantic now, “Applejack’s gotten herself worked up into a state, and I think ya’ll’r the only one who can git ‘er out o’ it.”
“Where is she?” Rainbow asked, suddenly tensed up.
“She hasn’t come out o’ her room all day.” Macintosh responded, he was worried.
“Let’s go.” Rainbow and Macintosh took off running for the house, Rainbow had to use her wings just to keep up with the great ground speed of the distressed red farm stallion.
They arrived at the house soon enough, and Rainbow Dash literally flew up the stairway towards Applejack’s room, Macintosh right below her. They both arrived at her door at the same time, pausing to compose themselves before announcing their presence. Big Macintosh knocked. “Sis, there’s someone a here ta see ya.” He said in the kindest voice Rainbow Dash could have imagined he had.
“Macintosh, Ah already told ya Ah don’t want ta see anypony.” Came a voice filled with sadness from inside.
Rainbow now put on her best, most comforting air she could, and began to speak. “Applejack, please let me in. I hate to see you all sad like this, and I can make it better, honestly. Trust me, please. I want to help you. I love you.”
Applejack stumbled for a moment, but responded. “Rainbow, please just leave me be. Ah don’t want ta lose anypony else, Ah don’t want ta hurt anypony else, Ah don’t want to see anypony else.”
Rainbow Dash was stunned. This wasn’t the Applejack she knew. Applejack must be in a truly depressed state if she was cutting herself off from her friends and family. ‘But, why?’ Rainbow thought. She was just about to respond to Applejack, when Big Macintosh interrupted.
“Miss Dash. She’s blamin’ herself. I can’t reason with her either. I think she just needs some time to herself to sort things out. Thanks for tryin’, miss Dash.” Macintosh could see that talking through a closed door wasn’t going to help. He led Rainbow Dash back downstairs.
The two sat around the big table in the Apple family’s kitchen. Macintosh had gotten them some apple treats to snack on. They sat together in silence, both wordlessly understanding that something needed to be done, neither knowing what was best. They ate, and then just sat around, not talking, for a good while, several hours passed in understanding silence, until Big Macintosh finally broke it.
“Uh… Miss Dash?” Rainbow had given up trying to keep him off the formalities. “Ah wanted ta say somethin’…”
“Yes?” Rainbow asked, “What is it?”
“Well, Ah, yh… Ah gotta say. At first, Ah was… skep… skept… worried about you and Applejack. Ah didn’t understand yer… relationship very much. Ah, ah thought it was unnatural.” Macintosh was stumbling over himself, obviously embarrassed to be saying this. “But, Ah, Ah saw how happy you were makin’ mah sister. She’s been happier nowadays than I ever did see her before. And I decided it was alright, it was alright that you two were together. She’s been so happy lately, and Ah know that Ah have you ta thank for it.”
Rainbow was silent for a while, she let Big Mac’s words soak in. She was glad that he had found reason to approve, then he spoke again: “But now, she’s sadder than ever. Ah think she’s blamin’ herself for Granny Smith and everythin’ that’s happened.” Rainbow let him speak, she could tell this was something important he was trying to say. “Ah can’t stand ta see her like this, Miss Dash. Whatever ya do, ya just gotta make her happy again. She needs somepony, and ya’ll’r the pony Ah think she needs.”
Rainbow Dash contemplated this for a moment. Big Mac was right. Applejack needed somepony, and she needed them now. “I think I know what to do.” She said quietly.
“OK. Do what ya need ta do, Miss Dash. I think Ah’m just gonna… go out for a little while.” He said. He sincerely hoped that Applejack might find some happiness with Rainbow Dash, the love for family that had always seemed to hold them together transcended any preconceived notions and opinions about their relationship he had. The sudden appearance of the face and pink mane of a certain yellow pegasus in the kitchen window told him he might find his own happiness soon enough as well. “Applebloom is at a sleepover at Rarity’s.” He said finally, and got up to leave through the kitchen door.
Rainbow Dash followed him. He turned when they reached the outside. “Thanks, Miss Dash.” He said. Fluttershy floated down next to him and gave him a look of pittance. She blushed slightly when she saw Rainbow Dash, but Rainbow nodded her understanding and watched as Macintosh walked away towards the town, Fluttershy floating close by him. Rainbow would have time later to ask questions about this new development. Right now, she had somepony else to cheer up. Possibly in much the same way that Fluttershy must be cheering Big Mac up, talking, understanding… She shook that thought from her head as the late rays of a now-descending sun cast apple tree shadows across the front lawn. She looked up at the second floor of the house, up towards her destination, swallowed a nervous lump, and took off into the sky.
The brilliant red and orange hues of one of Celestia’s fabulous sunsets filled Applejack’s vision. She gazed out her open window at the cloudless sky and the distant horizon, both accented by color and brilliance that was formed by the sun dipping below the horizon line as it finished its daily journey across the sky. On any normal day, Applejack would have thoroughly enjoyed the sensation, the warmth of the sun barely heating up the last of the day, a cool breeze blowing in to flutter her mane and cool down the sun’s rays, the palette of colors turning the sky into a brilliant spectacle, but today was not one of those days.
Applejack had locked herself in her room that day, grief and sorrow blanketing out all other emotions like they never had before. Turning from the spectacular sunset to her bed, she lay down, preparing for a sleepless night, buried her face in her pillow, and cried some more.
“Ah’m so sorry Granny Smith.” She sobbed to herself, or, she assumed to herself, “Ah shoulda taken you to the hospital earlier, Ah shoulda done somethin’! Ah’m supposed to take care o’ mah family, and ah blew it! Ah’m sorry!”
At that moment, a soft thump behind her caused Applejack to bolt upright and swing around. There, just under the still-open window, with the last rays of dissipating sunlight lighting her mane, stood Rainbow Dash. Her head was down, but her gaze was locked steadily on Applejack, a look of pure compassion across all of her features.
“R-Rainbow?” Applejack stammered for a moment, “Y-ya’ll need to git out o’ here, Rainbow Dash, ah can’t stand ta… Ah don’t want ta…”
“No Applejack.” Rainbow cut her off before she could continue. “We need to talk. Now.”
“There’s nothing; ta talk about.” Applejack began to retort, “Ah lost a loved one, and Ah’m sad. There’s nothing more to it.”
“Applejack,” Rainbow continued to talk, determined to help, no matter what, “I know that isn’t true. Granny Smith was dear to you, yes, but she was old. Macintosh even said he saw what was going to happen, he was expecting it, and I know you were too. You shouldn’t be locking yourself away from everypony else because of this, it isn’t healthy. Keeping to yourself and keeping all of your feelings bottled up won’t solve a thing. It will only make things worse.”
“You would know all about keeping your feelings to yourself, wouldn’t you?” Applejack retorted, her pride hurt.
“Yes. I would.” Rainbow continued, she could sense that Applejack was only lashing out because she was scared. “You know how I was before that day I saved you. You know how much I didn’t like sharing my feelings with anypony, but you also know that ever since then I’ve shared everything with you. I’ve had complete trust in your honesty and your willingness to help solve my problems, and now I need you to trust me. You won’t help yourself by grieving alone, Applejack.”
Applejack knew the truth in Rainbow’s words. In one motion, she ran forward and threw herself into the arms of the pegasus before her, she hugged her tight trying to cry, but no tears would come. Her body had already cried enough tears, so she just remained there, embracing Rainbow Dash, willing the world to be a better place. “Ah’m just so… so… so scared Rainbow.” She finally managed to get out. “Ah’ve lost so much, and this just feels like, like the final straw.”
Rainbow Dash stroked her mane, calming and soothing applejack. “You don’t need to be scared Applejack, I’m here for you, your family is here for you, the rest of our friends are here for you. This isn’t something that you have to face alone.”
“But, Ah just feel scared Rainbow. What if Ah lose you, what if Ah lose more o’ mah family? What if Ah lose mah friends? Ah can’t take it anymore, Ah feel like mah world is crashin’ around me, and everypony Ah now is at risk o’ fallin’ away from me just like Granny Smith.”
“I’m no closer to death than princess Celestia. I’m not going to leave you. Big Macintosh is not going to leave you. Applebloom is not going to leave you. Our friends are not going to leave you. We’re all here for you, and none of us can stand seeing you like this.”
“But, ah’ve lost so many of mah closest family, first Ma, then Pa, and Grandad after them, and now Granny Smith. Who’s to say that everypony isn’t just going to be lost from mah life? Especially now that Granny Smith is gone, me and Macintosh will have to be the oldest here, and it’s all mah fault!”
“No. No it isn’t your fault.” Rainbow Dash continued to be soothing, compassionate, and understanding. She needed to be. “Everypony has to pass on at some point, Applejack. Granny Smith just reached her time. That’s all. There is nothing you could have done to prevent her time from coming when it did. It isn’t your fault. You couldn’t have stopped it. All you can do is accept it and move on. I know it’s hard, but Granny Smith would have wanted you to. She wouldn’t want you to be like this. And I’m still young, our friends are still young, your brother and sister are still young. Our time isn’t close to coming yet, we’re going to be here with you for a long time Applejack, and I won’t let you torture yourself out of the irrational fear of our loss.”
“But ah could’ve taken her to the hospital earlier, ah could’ve seen how sick she was getting before it was too late, ah could’ve saved her, ah could’ve protected mah family!”
“Applejack, even Nurse Redheart said that it was a long time coming now. There was nothing you or anypony else could have done about it. It was just time. You can’t blame yourself. It will never help you.”
“But Ah still feel like Ah could’ve done something.” Applejack began.
“You will always feel that way when something like this happens. But you can’t dwell on it. The past is the past, we can’t change it, beating yourself up over it won’t solve anything.”
“Rainbow? Did Ah ever tell you the story of what happened to mah Ma and Pa?”
“It might’ve come up, but please, if you want to, tell me again.”
Applejack walked over to her bed. She curled up on it and looked up expectantly at Rainbow Dash. Rainbow took her cue. She softly padded over to the bed as well and climbed up. She lay her wing down on top of Applejack, holding her in a tight embrace, and nuzzled her gently. Waiting patiently for the earth pony to start. After a few moments of contemplative silence, Applejack began.
“Ma was one of the nicest mares Ah have ever had the pleasure of knowing. For as long as Ah can recall, she loved me, and Big Macintosh, and Pa with all of her heart, and we all loved her back. Then, one day, she had ta go ta the hospital. Now, Ah didn’t understand at the time, but that was when Applebloom had to be born, so we stayed with Grandad and Granny Smith while Ma and Pa left for several days. Then, one day, Pa came in carriyn’ the cutest little baby filly Ah ever did see in his hooves. I ran up to him and asked: ‘Where’s Ma’ ‘cause Ah didn’t see her anywhere. He just said: ‘Your Ma’s gone on.” And walked inside. Granny Smith had to explain to me what he meant. She had to explain to me all about how Ma had died of childbirth, and how she wouldn’t be coming home any more. We attended the funeral that week. Ah was sad for a while at first, but Ah had the rest of mah family and a new little baby sister to cheer me up. So I got over it. Pa never got over it, Ah don’t think. For weeks after he would just sit in his chair, not talkin’ ta anypony, sometimes readin’ his newspaper or sometimes just starin’ off into space. Then, one day, he just got up and walked out the front door. We never saw him again, and Ah haven’t heard of him since. Grandad passed on soon after that. Granny Smith said he must have been driven to the edge by grief for his daughter, but she stayed with us. Granny was always there for us, and we grew real close. It was just after Ah returned from Manehatten and got mah cutie mark that Ah decided Ah was goin’ to be like a mom to little Applebloom. Ah wanted her to grow up like she had loving parents, and Ah’ve been there for her ever since. And now, Granny Smith is just gone. Just like that, and ah feel like every link Ah had to mah parents is somehow broken, like ah’ve lost a huge part o’ mah family. And Ah guess Ah have.” Applejack finished her story, and began to cry again, weeping soflty into Rainbow Dash’s mane. Weeping for her loss, for her family, for everything she had held back for years.
Rainbow didn’t miss a beat. “Applejack,” she said in the softest, most soothing voice she had ever heard come from her own mouth, “You’re feeling so bad right now because you never let these emotions go. You just let them build up inside of you and now they’re all forcing their way out. I want you to let them all out now. I’m here for you, I will make you feel better. Trust me.”
And Applejack did. She spent what felt like hours crying to Rainbow Dash, letting years of pent-up emotions spill out from her body, only to be mopped up by the compassion of the mare she cared about most. Time was immeasurable, immaterial. When the last of her tears finally dried up, Applejack knew she was done. She stared into the magenta eyes of the rainbow-maned pegasus next to her, the strongest pony she had ever known. This pony who could take on the burden of a tortured soul and bring it out of the dark. She stared into her eyes, and found only love staring back.
Then, Rainbow Dash leaned forward and kissed her. Applejack kissed her back, and with their lips pressed together, everything in the world seemed to brighten. Applejack felt her fear, her anxiety, her uncertainty, and the last remnants of all the emotions she had harbored for so long begin to bubble away. Then, in a strange, unexpected move, Applejack felt Rainbow Dash’s tongue slip into her mouth. In an instant, all the remaining feelings Applejack had dealt with for the past few days were gone, to be replaced by a feeling Applejack could only know as an elated high of pure bliss as she allowed the rest of the world to slip away around her…
The two mares lay together for the longest time, sweat glistening on their bodies after their shared experience. Each was taking deep breaths, gradually coming down from that state of bliss-like high that had sustained them through their accelerated use of energy. Applejack lay on her back, and sighed in an expression of pure love when Rainbow Dash crawled over and rested her head on her lover’s chest. They lay there for some time, letting their heart rates slow down and their breathing get back to normal. They lay without speaking for longer than either cared to count, bonds building between them as they communicated without words. Then, Rainbow Dash spoke.
“You see, Applejack,” She began once her breathing had normalized, “I love you. I love you more than I have anypony else for a long time, probably since I last saw my own parents. And you know what? There are so many other ponies who love you too, Applejack. Big Mac and Applebloom love you. Twilight, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy love you. Even Rarity loves you, while you two may not get along the best. My point is, you are loved by so many ponies, and none of us can stand seeing you tear yourself up over your loss. It’s OK to be sad, but let me be there for you, let us be there for you. We all want what’s best for you, Applejack, we all want to help, and we all love you.”
“Ah know, Sugarcube,” Applejack finally said, only happiness flowed in her voice. “Ah love you too.”
And with that, the two mares felt themselves being pulled into the comforting grip of sleep. Inside an orange earth pony, the hole that had been forming in her heart for several years began to reseal itself, thanks to the undying love of the now sleeping blue pegasus whose head rested on her chest.
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I know exactly the inside joke fluttershy is thinking about: gay as seals. Somehow it's a nice between the line pun. Nice one there.
I know exactly the inside joke fluttershy is thinking about: gay as seals. Somehow it's a nice between the line pun. Nice one there.
On a sidenote: manly tears were shed
These are the emotions I felt reading this:
1. Happy
2. Sad
3. Confused
4. Surprised
Dame you My little Dashie! When will you allow me to cry again?!
That was just beautiful. You are by far one of the most talented appledash writers that i have come across. Keep up the good work.
THE FEELS!
I wasn’t going to nitpick like this, but one little preposition is marring your otherwise mostly excellent writing. The phrase is “died in childbirth” or “died giving birth”. You could also say “died of/from childbirth complications” or something, but that seems far too clinical in the context of this story. Birth itself doesn’t always kill and is not an ailment, so it’s odd to say “died of childbirth”.
Excellent metaphor here. The verb “spill” does indeed imply a liquid of some kind. Pairing it with “mop” makes us realize that and visualize it.
This is why I hate emotionless clopfics. They make well-intentioned authors like yourself shy away from including scenes of deeply meaningful physical love simply to avoid a T or M rating. I think you needed to go just a bit further here, not to the point of lewdness, and nothing too graphic, but just enough to better embody the sense of release you had built up to. And what are you really trying to hang onto here? You think a bunch of ponies dying or leaving, one through childbirth, is E material to begin with? Really?