Rarity on DXM

by Majin Syeekoh

It Ends?

Twilight quickly teleported out of the way of the scissors into an aisle and laid low. She heard Sombrarity grunt in disdain and start prowling around. Twilight looked around to see that she was in the cosmetics section, which gave her an idea. She quickly grasped one of the compacts with her magic and slowly inched over to the edge of the aisle and opened the compact, revealing the mirror inside. She slowly moved the mirror out past the edge of the aisle and looked in it to find Sombrarity nowhere.

She sighed in relief, then the compact was knocked out of her magic by a plastic shovel, causing her to leap in shock. She then inhaled and exhaled and cast a thermal imaging spell, letting her see the form of Sombrarity through the shelves. She could see her coming up on her. She teleported to another aisle, seeing the form of Sombrarity look around in confusion.

Twilight then slowly picked up a can of soda and tapped her hoof sharply against the ground, Sombrarity popped out of the aisle she was in, giving Twilight the chance to lob the can of soda at Sombrairty. Sombrarity quickly caught it and flung it back, Twilight teleporting into another aisle across the store. Twilight could see Sombrarity look down each aisle, sneaking around, coming across Pinkie and Cheerilee. Cheerilee screamed, causing Pinkie to shove her out of the store and face down Sombrarity herself.

Sombrarity picked up a jar of pickles and threw it at Pinkie, who popped out of existence and popped in down an aisle behind Sombrarity, holding her hooves to the side of her head and blowing a raspberry at Sombrarity. Sombrarity stomped her hooves in frustration and picked up another jar of pickles and rocketed it towards Pinkie Pie, who popped out of existence again, reappearing an aisle behind Sombrarity.

Sombrarity then grasped Pinkie’s mane with her magic and plummeted her to the floor, dragging her to Sombrarity’s hooves. Sombrarity lifted a hoof, which is when Twilight teleported behind Sombrarity and pinged her horn with her hoof, causing Sombrarity to drop Pinkie. Sombrarity then whipped Twilight’s throat with her tail, which made Twilight stagger. She then dropped her head down and charged Twilight, who teleported behind Sombrarity, picked up a jar of pickles, and flung them at Sombrarity. He bucked back and shattered the jar of pickles, leaving pickle juice stained everywhere. Twilight then bit her lower lip.

“Sorry, Rarity.” Sombrarity started to charge when four simultaneous snaps were heard as Sombrarity’s legs crumpled beneath her. Twilight trotted up to her with a worried look on her face. “Any last words, Sombra?” Sombrarity gave Twilight a vicious glare and spat in Twilight’s face.

“Fuck you.”

Twilight shook her head. “Well, that’s the most you’ve said this entire time, so I’ll consider it a success.” Twilight’s horn lit up, then she sang.

Hush now, quiet now, it’s time to lay your sleepy head
Hush now, quiet now, it’s time to go to bed
Drifting off to sleep, leave the day behind you
Drifting off to sleep, let the joy of dreamland find you
Hush now, quiet now, lay your sleepy head
Hush now, quiet now, it’s time to go to bed

Sombrarity tried to crawl over to Twilight on her mangled legs, but was impeded by the magical lullaby she was being sung as sleep overtook her. Twilight them picked her up in her magic and turned to Pinkie Pie.

“Let’s go back to the library.” Pinkie nodded and followed Twilight out of the pharmacy.

----

Rarity opened her eyes to see all of her friends and both Princesses standing over her. She looked around, confused.

“Where am I and why are you all staring at me?”

Princess Celestia spoke first. “We came as quick as we could...we’re sorry.”

“Sorry? Sorry for what?”

“You appear to have been borrowed by Sombra for an hour,” Luna said, “and in that time you and your friends were all royally fucked.” Applejack facehooved.

“Will ya stop sayin’ that? You’ve said that like fifteen times already! Jus’ because we were all stabbed with dildos doesn’t mean we were royally fucked!” Rarity looked around.

“Stabbed with...dildos?” Rarity said before her pupils turned to pinpricks. “Wait, I can explain!”

Princess Celestia shook her head and giggled. “No need, Rarity. We all have needs. But you may want to take a look at this,” she said, lifting up a compact mirror and handing it to Rarity, who grasped it in her unusually strong magic. She lifted it up to her face to find a sliver of red at the top. Curious, she titled the mirror up to find a vicious red horn atop her head.

----

Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo were drawing in the clubhouse when they heard a vicious scream. Apple Bloom raised her head.

“What was that?” she asked.

Sweetie Belle shook her head. “It’s just my sister. She probably chipped a hoof or something.” Apple Bloom stared at Sweetie Belle, then went back to drawing.

----

“I’m uh-huh-huh-huh-gly!”

Fluttershy stroked Rarity’s mane. “You’re never ugly. You’re beautiful.”

“Eeyup,” Big Macintosh said.

“But how did this happen?” Rarity asked between tears.

“Well,” Twilight said, “when the princesses came, they healed all of the injuries that you caused when ‘borrowed’ by Sombra. But your new horn isn’t an injury. It’s a permanent side effect of the ‘borrowing’ process.”

“But how am I supposed to go outside like this?”

Pinkie giggled. “I think it looks great!” Rarity glared at Pinkie Pie.

“Of course you would, darling.”

“There’s just one thing that bugs me,” Rainbow Dash said, “you kept muttering ‘Red Umbra’ when you were out. Do you know anything about that?”

Rarity looked at Rainbow Dash, confused. “No, I can’t say I do…”

Twilight looked at her confusedly. “You sure?”

Rarity glared at Twilight. “Yes, I’m sure, now let me wallow in self-pity!”

Pinkie dashed up to Rarity and hugged her. “No can do, Rarity! I’m gonna hug you until you love your new horn!”

Smiling, Princess Celestia shook her head. “Well, everything seems to be in order here, Luna. Shall we take our leave?”

Princess Luna nodded. “We shall. They seem to be managing just fine.” With that, they teleported out of the room. Twilight went back to her desk and started shuffling through her papers.

“Well, now that that’s done with, I suggest everypony leave so that Rarity can get some rest.” Everypony nodded and left the library. “You know, Rarity, you should be thankful for that horn.”

Rarity glared at Twilight. “Why should I be thankful for this dreadful thing?”

“Well, if my calculations are correct, it appears to have increased your magic by a hundred-fold. You’re easily half as powerful as me now.”

Rarity stared at the ceiling. “Huh. I still think it looks dreadfully tacky.”

Twilight giggled. “Well, you can’t have you cake and eat it, too.”

Rarity giggled. “A shame. It would be so tasty right about now...” Rarity sighed. “What do you think that ‘Red Umbra' nonsense I was prattling on about was about?”

Twilight shook her head. “I have no idea. I’ll have to do some research on that…”

Rarity kept staring at the ceiling. “You do that, Twilight…”

----

A crimson pegasus with a black mane was sitting at a writing desk taking some notes when she heard a voice pass through her mind.

“Success, Red Umbra.”

Red Umbra smiled and checked off a box on another piece of paper. “Very good. Phase one is complete.”

Comments

[kniznik]

What about all the cough medicine Twilight destroyed? Will we get to see her reaction to when pharmacy sends her the bill?

[Majin Syeekoh]

4179673 I like to think that she forwarded the bill to Celestia.

[kniznik]

4179675 so would Celestia take that money from Twilights princesy treasury allowance? Twilight does need to learn a lesson about collateral damage after all.

[Majin Syeekoh]

4180115 She's learned that lesson many times over. These fund would be taken out of the "Twilight and her friends fuck up Ponyville" fund. And it'd be a lot fewer bits than usual.

[Brony God]

4180714 I sense a sequel coming up

[Majin Syeekoh]

4183358 Haha. Nice catch.

But the girls would like to delete "Twiworm" from their memories forever, if possible.

[Majin Syeekoh]

4376828 Damn right,

[Majin Syeekoh]

4399708 I'm glad you enjoyed my headcanon. What is your opinion on Rarity, BTW?

And thank you for enjoying my story!

[NEET]

can't wait for the sequel~!

ON A SIDE NOTE
Only use cough medicine as directed, please. I took a bottles worth which is like 800 mgs
and throw up the first time or two but then one day i did not throw up and ODed which lead to a minor stroke. If it were not for the trees i smoked to up my appetite I would not have ate and just sat there and rotted after it happened but anyway..

DON'T ABUSE DXM

just 420 and drink every so often ..
be smart out there

[ferret]

noooooooo not red and black

[Majin Syeekoh]

4585039 yes...yes...

[SCP Pinkamena]

OH SHIT!
You're fucked kid!

[SageBrony07]

That was funny. The fight of the sex toys. Oh that was funny. Great story.

[Ryuyu]

oooooooOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo
*demands sequel (?)*

[Izarra Kiania]

4172219 Just take a small amount. I've done it twice with no unpleasant effects. Good feelings (brain goes whee) for a couple of hours, then it wears off and everything's back to normal. For me, about three doses of cough syrup is good. And the first time was a complete accident.

In my defense, I had a serious chest cold.

[Star Chaser]

I initially read this as "Rarity on DMX" (you know, the rapper) and saw the "sex" tag.
Then I realized it was about drugs.