• Published 29th Mar 2014
  • 2,026 Views, 75 Comments

Rarity on DXM - Majin Syeekoh

  • ...

Pharmacy Race

Sombrarity was dashing through the streets of Ponyville, scanning for the apothecary. He unfortunately could not find it anywhere. He then came across a building that had a sign with a pill on it over the door. Smiling, he trotted in.


“So, where are we going again, Twilight?” Pinkie asked, galloping beside Twilight.

“We’re going to the pharmacy, Pinkie.”


“Because Sombrarity’s going to try and drink more dextromethorphan.”


“Because his out of body time is almost running out and he wants more time inside Rarity.”


Twilight stopped in her tracks, Pinkie sliding to a stop next to her. “Which one, the first or the second?”

“The first,” Pinkie said, smiling. Twilight shook her head and started galloping again, Pinkie keeping up pace.

“Because the dextromethorphan had almost left Rarity's system.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because I was counting on it.”


“Didn’t you wonder why I was talking to him?”

“I thought you were trying to make friends.” Twilight shook her head in frustration.

“Pinkie, one does not simply make friends with an evil overlord.”

“I thought you were going for a Code Discord!”

“A Code Discord wouldn’t work on Sombra.”


“Because Discord wasn’t really evil to begin with.”

“Then what would you call what he did to us?”

“Being a complete and utter dick.”

“Ohhhh...but wasn’t Sombrarity being a dick, too?”

Twilight shook her head. “No, he was trying to kill you. Discord never actively hurt any of us.”

Pinkie thought on that for a second. “Sombrarity wasn’t trying to kill us.”

Twilight looked back. “What do you mean, ‘he wasn’t trying to kill you?’ I saw the dildos sticking out of you all. In fact, he had dildos trained on all of your heads before he bolted through the door!”

Pinkie shook her head. “Twilight, Twilight, Twilight...you didn’t see him fight. His movements were perfect and his aim was legendary. He could have killed us at any time. So why do you suppose he didn’t?”

Twilight thought on that for a second. “Maybe he was just toying with you?”

Pinkie shook her head again. Twilight looked back, to see an uncharacteristically grim look on Pinkie’s face. “I heard you describe your trials in securing the Crystal Heart. Sombra doesn’t toy around. Maybe this is all part of his master plan.”

Twilight thought on that for a second. What if Pinkie Pie was right?


Sombrarity entered the apothecary and was stunned by the sheer amount of products inside of it. It seemed to him more of a general market than anything else. He walked around, scanning the aisles for cough medicine, only he didn’t find any in this aisle. He was looking at granola bars, orange juice concentrate, and cereal with cartoonish mascots on it. Curious, he lifted the cereal off of the shelf and scanned the box. There was a picture of a cartoon Cadance on the front, holding a spoon in her magic, and if he wasn’t mistaken, the cereal appeared to be some sort of grain along with heart-shaped marshmallows. Sombrarity growled at the cover, looking at the name: Lovely Charms. Sombrarity facehooved as he put the box back in its place.

He then decided to do what he should have done in the first place, as opposed to wandering around like a commoner. He looked up to the signs above the aisles, scanning for cough medicine. He found the aisle and trotted towards it, trotting down until he found the myriad cough products. He picked up one, scanned the active ingredients, then put it back deciding he’d try to avoid destroying this vessel’s liver. He picked up another box, scanning for the ingredients, then put it back. Vomiting was against his desires. He then picked up a third box, and pleased with the contents walked up to the register, frowning when a purple mare with a striped pink-and-white mane was blocking him with what appeared to be a rather large cart of items. On top of that, the cashier didn’t appear to be more than sixteen and was fumbling with the items. The purple pony was tapping her hoof impatiently, looking around, smiling when she laid her eyes on Sombrarity.

“Hey, Rarity,” she said to Sombrarity, “I didn’t know you shopped here! So, what brings you here today?”

Sombrarity looked around, sweating. “Nothing.”

Cheerilee stared at Sombrarity. “It doesn’t sound like nothing. In fact, it sounds like you have a terrible cold!” Cheerilee then spotted the bottle of cough medicine that Sombrarity was holding and giggled. “I guess that would explain that, then. Would you like to hear how Sweetie Belle’s doing in school?”


Cheerilee nodded. “Well, I don’t know if she told you, but right now we’re on our algebraic topology unit. Do you know what that is?” Sombrarity shook her head. “I guessed that you wouldn’t. Isn’t it amazing what they’re teaching our children today? Well, anyway, algebraic topology is a branch of mathematics that uses tools from abstract algebra to study topological spaces. You with me so far?” Sombrarity uneasily nodded her head. “Well, anyway, the basic goal is to find algebraic invariants that classify topological spaces up to homeomorphism…” Sombarity facehooved. This line was getting rather long, and for all the wrong reasons.


Twilight and Pinkie crashed through the doors of the pharmacy, looking around for Sombrarity when they bumped into Cheerilee.

“Hey, girls. What are you doing here?”

Twilight grabbed Cheerilee’s shoulders in her hooves. “Did you see Rarity?”

Cheerilee giggled. “Why yes, she’s at the counter. I was just explaining algebraic topology to her.”

Twilight smiled in glee. "Were you discussing homology?"

Cheerilee shook her head. "No, knot theory."

Twilight went to continue this conversation then shook her head and shoved Pinkie Pie in front of Cheerilee. “Run interference!” Pinkie nodded, leaving Twilight to canter towards the counter, where Sombrarity was making his purchase. Twilight grasped the box of cough syrup in her magic, upon which Sombrarity grasped it back. Twilight tried to tug on it only to find that Sombrarity’s grip wasn’t loosening. Twilight kept tugging, unable to make any headway.

An idea came to her. She crushed the box and bottle in her magic, watching its contents drip to and dissolve into the floor. Sombrarity glared at Twilight, then made a mad dash towards the cough medicine aisle. Twilight was one step ahead of him, however, as she strained, picking up the entire shelf in her magic, then proceeded to crumple up the entire thing into a neat cube, Sombrarity looking on in horror. Sombrarity then looked upon Twilight with a face that she had never seen on Rarity before:apoplexy. Sombrarity then levitated fifteen pairs of scissors in front of her and opened them.

“Die,” she said calmly before fifteen pairs of scissors flew straight towards Twilight Sparkle.