Loyalty Ignited

by ThiefOfPunk

The Sonic Rainboom

Hearing the familiar jingle of the bell that hung above the door to Sugarcube Corner, a trio of unintentionally dangerous fillies trotted in. The pegasus among them laid her eyes upon the most awesome pony in the room. Scootaloo was elated to see that, after having to listen to the stories of how the other Elements of Harmony got their Cutie Marks, she had finally found the pony she most looked up to and idolized, Rainbow Dash.

Despite today being one of the days Rainbow wasn’t on guard duty, she still stood as if she were guarding Princess Celestia herself. The unwavering confidence in her rose eyes spoke volumes of the things from which she had defended the Princess, and all of Equestria. Things like manticores, hydrae, swarms of parasprites, and even things Scootaloo had never heard of before. All of this inspired Scootaloo; much like her own father’s somewhat ridiculous feats inspired her.

“Rainbow Dash! You’re here!” Scootaloo called out, the pegasus in question glancing over to her before a smirk manifested itself on Rainbow’s muzzle.

“So I hear you’re wondering how I got my cutie mark.” Rainbow states as Scootaloo and the other Crusaders approach, this being the one story all three were anticipating hearing.

“You have no idea what I’ve been through today to hear that story.” Scootaloo begins with a relieved and exhausted sigh, stopping but two feet short of Rainbow and her friends.

With a quick grin, Rainbow Dash launched into her story, while everypony else in the room listened intently.

---

It all happened during the race at flight camp, where I stood alone against all odds to defend Fluttershy from some feather-brained bullies. I’ll admit, though at the time it was a heat of the moment decision, I haven’t regretted racing them since ever.

As soon as the race began, I was amazed by the sheer speed I flew at. I’d never flown like that before, the freedom was unlike anything I’d ever felt. The adrenaline coursing through my veins, the wind in my mane. I liked it. A lot.

Hoops and I both approached the second to last cloud ring, and the closest ring to the ground. You may not know this Scoot, but if a pegasus hits the ground at the speeds we were going, she wasn’t going to be flying or walking herself anywhere for a long time. Luckily for me, I was going so fast I never got the chance to hit the ground.

I sped towards the ground as fast as I could possibly go, harnessing as much of my natural pegasus magic as I could, when suddenly I heard an enormous boom, saw a flash of light both circle me and on my flank. Then there was nothing.

OK, that’s not entirely accurate. It was less than nothing, and yet more than everything, and it had a weird metallic tang to it whenever I went to take a breath. I later learned that was the Aether from which the Blind Eternities are made. Or maybe that’s the other way around; I’m not too sure on the matter.

Anyway, I didn’t have long to explore the Eternities, because just as quickly as I entered them, I made a swift exit into a nearby plane. The first thing I noticed was that it was night on this new plane, the silver moon hanging in the sky providing much more illumination than our own moon. Zipping along the ground below me were towns, manors, forests, and so much more beyond that the names of which I didn’t even know.

Angling myself to touch down in a nearby forest, I saw that the ponies around here were awfully on edge for some reason. I mean, I heard a few of them praising some ‘Avacyn’ mare, but for the most part, they seemed to look upon me expecting the worst. Not that I could actually tell that they were looking at me from so far away. Keep in mind; I was a lot more narcissistic when I was a filly.

Touching down just outside the forest, the ground felt unusual under my hooves. It felt significantly more solid in this strange place, and that should have been the first thing to tip me off that I wasn’t in Equestria anymore. Turns out, I was also fairly dense as a filly.

“You shouldn’t be here, little pony.” I heard a voice call out from within the forest. Now most ponies would have run away scared at that point. I wasn’t most ponies.

“Come on out and show yourself,” I called into the forest, trying to direct my voice in to as much of the foliage as I could, “I ain’t afraid of you.”

The voice chuckled before emerging into the moonlight. The first thing I noticed was his metal prosthesis, partly because it seemed unusual to have a prosthesis that replaced your entire arm. The next thing however had me paralyzed with fear.

“Y-You’re a-a human.” Ok yeah, I’ll admit, that did come out as more of a squeak, not that puberty was helping any in that department.

“And you’re a pegasus. It’s good to know we’re on the same page.” He laughed a bit before he said that, and the sarcasm that dripped from his tone could have been venomous if it was any more refined, “But that’s not important right now. What is important now is teaching you some of the basics.”

“Basics? What the hay are you talking about?” I asked incredulously, at the time completely oblivious to the necessities of forming mana bonds.

“Well magic, of course. What do you think I’m talking about?” He called over his shoulder as he turned and disappeared into the forest, a quick “Come on then!” added as an afterthought.

Quickly trotting into the forest to catch him, I heard him mumble something about a dragon, but dismissed it as nonsense. As we walked through the thicker, darker part of the forest, I could see many similar creatures to the man approach us to attack. However, none of them made it beyond a bluey-colored barrier that only seemed to manifest itself when one of the creatures approached.

“Who the hay are you, anyway?” I asked after we had been walking through the forest for what seemed like hours.

The man merely smirked and said, “Tezzeret.”

Author's Note:

Sonic Rainboom 2WUBRG
Sorcery Mythic Rare
Target creature you control gains flying, first strike, vigilance, trample, and lifelink until end of turn.
Untap all creatures you control.

Comments

[Speven Dillberg]

Oooh, you're treading a little too close to what FanOfMostEverything did with Ditzy. Her first encounter was with Tezzeret, too.

Also, the longer the chapter, the better. Too short.

[FanOfMostEverything]

All of this inspired Scootaloo; much like her own father’s somewhat ridiculous feats inspired her.

Hmm. Well, that's an intriguing hint. And I always like to see a story with living Scootaparents.

This story could definitely use some editing. Awkward sentences, abrupt tense shifts, diction during the flashback that doesn't sound like Rainbow Dash in the least (and if her character has changed as much as it seems, then you shouldn't be recycling her dialogue from "Cutie Mark Chronicles.")
Still, I'm always happy to see another Magic crossover.

Also, Tezzeret doesn't seem like a very good fit for Dash. I had him tutor Ditzy because both are blue mages who try to be serious in spite of their innate wiseassery, and it was an excuse to procrastinate on Bolas's orders for a few hours. (Long enough to get a sense of smug satisfaction, but not so long that Tezz risked getting eaten.) Here, it's unclear why he's in Innistrad or why he's bothering to tutor some random schlub. Sure, it's implied that Bolas foresaw this, but why send someone who'd stick out like an etherium thumb on the Gothic horror plane?
I see Dash as mostly red, shading into white: impulsive, aggressive, and overconfident, but devoted to those she holds dear. Remember, this is the pony who kicked a dragon in the face because she was bored. The idea of her studying blue magic, embracing a philosophy of thinking before acting... Friendship is Witchcraft put it best: that's so un-Rainbow! Someone like Chandra, Gideon, or Ajani would be a much better fit. Even Sarkhan Vol might have been a possibility if Dash had 'walked before he went mad.

There's also the matter of the nature of the Multiverse and the existence of planeswalkers. These things are not usually common knowledge. Celestia and Luna may know of them, but from the sound of it, you've made that information part of the curriculum in every school in Equestria. This also raises the question of how Dash knew about humans. Are they teaching xenobiology in flight school, or are there humans native to Equestria's plane?
(On the topic of foreign lifeforms, there are no pegasi in Innistrad. The closest creatures are the gryffs, which were thought extinct before the Helvault was busted open. Depending on how well those villagers saw Dash, there may be torches and pitchforks in the flashback's immediate future.)
All in all, there are clearly more than "some minor alterations" to canon. Dash's Spark has caused a butterfly effect that has swept the nation, if not the plane. That's not a bad thing, but you need to acknowledge it.

On the other hand, this is the first chapter. I shouldn't pass judgement until I get more information. I look forward to seeing where you go with this. I criticize because I want this story live up to its full potential.

Oh, and one last thing: Combat enhancement and untapping your dudes don't mix well on a sorcery. Given the awkward cost and the flavor of a Rainboom, you could easily get away with making this an instant. Heck, you could probably drop the cost by a mana or two. Though I do like the callback to Nyan Manticore.

[Baby Rhino]

Interesting choice with tezzeret. I'm excited to see where this goes