Cory Powell, one of XCOM's strongest psionic soldiers, sacrificed himself to end the Ethereal invasion. While humanity celebrated the end of the war and mourned for the fallen, the Volunteer was left to his thoughts in the endless void created by the Temple Ship's destruction. It wasn't long before fate found him again in the form of a new world, virtually untouched by the horrors of war. The Ethereals, however, aren't done with humanity or the Volunteer, and they will stop at nothing to either assimilate or destroy mankind and the races of Equis.
Chapters (4)
Excellent, remember, we will be watching.
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Where can I find out more about XCOM?
4214895 You can look up information on Wikipedia or any XCOM Wiki sites, but you can also look at stories like Stardust by Arad to see the kind of tone I'm trying to set for the story.
"Over 4.7 million people had been killed worldwide"
That's it ? Did the invasion last a month at least ? Those are very good numbers, they should consider themselves lucky.
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I see my mistake and I'm currently fixing it. Since I'm a bit indecisive, can you give me a minimum of what the death count should be in a private message?
Rubbish. Aliens need a slave race, not a full scaled Earth resistance against them. They are trying to implant ourselves inside and take over by using covert operations, not mindless worldwide slaughter. Even your first assumption was slightly exaggerated, IMHO. At the end of war casualties could be around 1 million if you are absolutely unlucky. My guess would be 100-200 thousands, but even this is stretching. BILLIONS? Come on, they are not Skaarj, and this is not an Independence Day. They are much more clever than that. This is a secret war after all, at least as secret as this war could be.
Really, is it so hard to guess? Their mothership holds at the VERY best 5000, okay, 10000 of alien personnel, their ground missions - 25 soldiers at MAXIMUM capacity, their field of operation have a size of a city block, for Christ' sake! What "billions" are we talking about? They want to enslave humanity from inside, not destroy it! I highly doubt that they kidnapped more than couple thousand humans through their entire campaign! From where, God almighty, you scrapped those enormous numbers? They make no tactical and practical sense - at all. THIS IS SECRET WAR OF THREE SIDES, none of which want to be discovered! EXALT, those antisocial unmoral monsters - they are group of 200 operatives at MOST, if you count all operations against them.
Story itself is great so far, although this cliche about humanity losses is becoming really annoying.
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The main reason why I put billions was because of the opinion of another commenter who said that just 4.7 million was too small. I'm just a beginning writer, so I don't know whose side to take!
Also, to any one who reads the story later and sees changes in number and such, that's because I write the chapters as I go, and post-submission is when I usually edit the chapters until I think that there's nothing left to edit. So I'm sorry if you all are thinking that I'm unprofessional or anything by constantly changing things in the chapters.
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It's ok, actually. You can take any reader inquire into consideration, it's your right as author. But in the end, it's your decision whose opinion to take. Or outright ignore any readers' opinions. You are creator, and we are merely readers.
So far, your story is pretty interesting. Keep up the good work.
I'd think 9 million plus dead would be considered a massive victory, considering New York City is home to 8 million people...Earth is currently home to roughly 9 billion people after all, so one one thousandth of the population dead is nothing short of miraculous considering the terror attacks and the hundreds abucted. I'd think 100 million would be a more appropriate number of dead to garner the reaction the figure got in the story, but that's my opinion.
Is this story dead? Concept seems good, but I don't want to start if it won't be continued.
(Asking because of how the updates were several in a row, then suddely paused)
4425245 No, my story isn't dead. I've just been busy preparing for final exams, and I've been running into a lot of writer's blocks lately. Sorry if I worried you or anything.
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NP, just found this today, thanks for quick reply.
And also...
I know that feel bro.
One problem.
Bradford would never directly come to get a soldier. NEVER.
He would send a generic soldier, maybe a scientist, maybe an engineer, but he is far too valuable to leave the base for ONE soldier.
Also, it seems like Twi's friends INSTANTLY arrived near her. That's kinda unrealistic, since most of em are Earth ponies/Pegasi.
Also,
Before Twilight could respond, a cyan pegasus interrupted, “Oh yeah, Fluttershy? Well, what if it’s some kind of…giant monster or something! I don’t want a repeat of the Ursa Minor incident with Trixie.”
Rainbow Dash generally is waaaay more brash, and she overestimates herself a lot. This could be more expected from rarity.
It took about 10 minutes to arrive at the entrance of the forest
Letters are less jerky and immersion breaking than pure numbers.
Alsooooooooooooooooooooooo...
It would be better to just refer to the volunteer as 'The Volunteer" and not give him a name.
This is because of the fact that everyone's volunteer was different.
It just seems kinda dickish to say 'TEH VOLUNTEER IS DIS GUY. ONLY DIS GUY.'
I mean, everyone has different stories, cuz that's what makes XCOM so appealing.
4425379 Whoa, slow down there! If you're going to give me some feedback, please send me the constructive criticism in the form of private emails if you have more than one thing to say. I don't want my story's comment section to be flooded with comments by the same person ._.''
Anyways, I'll address your concerns and correct/edit thing wherever I can, but please remember that I'm writing this story, and I don't want to be forced by my readers to write the story how THEY want it to be written.
To address your concern about the Volunteer: I have NOT made it seem like my Volunteer can be the ONLY Volunteer. It would NOT be better to just refer to the Volunteer as "the Volunteer", because it doesn't allow for the Volunteer to be an individual and a unique character that the readers can connect with. If I changed Cory to be a generic XCOM soldier-turned-Volunteer, then people wouldn't want to read the story as much.
Also, to refute your argument about being "dickish", let me ask you a few questions. Is it "dickish" for Arad to make the XCOM soldiers in his story individuals with their own personalities? No, it isn't.
I respect your opinion and I appreciate the feedback, but taking away the sense of identity that Cory has as the Volunteer would not be a wise move for me.
4425454
So are you still working on this?
4315836 Something io woud have suggested you do was depersonalize the experience from your experiences in Xcom as much as possible (Otherwise it can come as sort of a I'm in MLP now Fic.) For example, like Arad did with Commander Bradford making him the over all commander was ingenious, by getting rid of the Uber Commander and making Bradford commander he solved the Self insert problem (By the way your name is Ashton isn't it?) which is a common problem writers for this fandom have.
Just some constructive criticism. After all this is inspired by Arad's Stardust so don't be afraid to copy other writers good ideas, .
4585855 My name is not Ashton, actually, so this isn't a self-insert story. As for your first comment, I am still writing this story, but due to personal complications (aka "vacation"), I haven't had the time (or internet connection) to even continue working on the next chapter.
The reason why I have an "Uber Commander", as you put it, is because I don't want to copy aspects of Arad's story. As much as I've considered doing so time and time again, I don't want to seem like a "follow the leader" writer who derives much of his story and content from a more successful writer (like "Freeman's Mind" and the subsequent "X's Mind" series). I will take your advice into consideration, because based on the constructive criticism provided by everyone else, I might as well do a complete overhaul of the story.
Thanks for the feedback, Raven, and I'll try to change my story into what everyone else wants it to be written as instead of what the writer wants it to be.
In all seriousness, though, I REALLY do appreciate your advice. I'll have to ask around with other writers to get advice on how to actually improve my story.
Remember that the Ethereals want to advance and transcend. You should add that they are now envious of the humans that they defeated all of the species, including them. By the way, nice job on accurately giving the personality of the ponies .
4586260
Alright, glad i could be of help. Can't wait for the next chapter now. :)
Now I'm just stuck with rereading XSGCOM Goa'Old Defense. Or for Arad to release the next chapter of Mente to get my Xcom fix.
(Could always continue playing the original though.....)
Sorry for the inconvenience, everyone, but for now I'm going to have put the story on hiatus until I can actually think of what to write. It ain't easy trying to write a "tribute story" of sorts to Stardust when you can't even come up with an idea.
This is the guy I made to win Xcom: Enemy within Hardcore Ironman difficulty today.
Name: Kane Wilson.
Origin: Australia.
Primary weapon: Plasma sniper rifle. Secondary: Plasma Pistol
Rank: Colonel.
Will:130 Aim: 110
Class: Sniper
Type: Psi/Genetic soldier
Role: Volunteer
Armour: Psi (duh).
Psi abilities: Mind fray, Panic attack, Mind control and psi rift.
Genetic abilities: Super Jump leg muscles, Hyper active pupils, Neural feedback, Second heart and bio electric skin.
Soldier traits: Headshot, Snapshot, Will to Live, Damn good ground, Disabling Shot, Opportunist, Low profile and In the Zone.
If these ponies encountered my guy instead of this guy they would all be quickscoped into oblivion.
Why? Because that's Xcom baby.
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Well, that's fine and all, but why are you trying to boast about your Volunteer? What prompted you to post that comment? Just because you beat the game on Hardcore Ironman with a Gene-modded Volunteer doesn't mean that he's better than anyone else's Volunteer. Gene-mods were meant to give players an additional edge over the enemy and mix the combat formula up a bit, but they were not meant to make the Gene-modded soldiers seem better than the regular soldiers. Because XCOM: EU didn't have Gene-mods to enhance soldiers, the vanilla XCOM operatives are just as powerful (if not more so) as the Gene-modded ones.
Also, I based this story off of XCOM: Enemy Unknown and not XCOM: Enemy Within, though I included EXALT because it added a bit more flavor to the regular XCOM: EU formula of fighting lots of aliens. I started writing this story before I even knew that Enemy Within had been released, so my experience with the game was based on my first successful run. Even though I was playing on Normal difficulty, it was still pretty hard to keep my soldiers from dying because of dumb luck on the aliens' part. You may have beat the game on Hardcore and Ironman, but that just means that you have more skill and are better at the game than me.
Finally, you said that your Volunteer would quickscope the Mane Six into oblivion. If he did that, then he'd have the wrath of two goddesses who can move the sun and moon around the planet. Even if he was as badass as you claimed, he doesn't have enough power to move entire celestial bodies; so a single blast of magic from either one or both of the Princesses would absolutely destroy him.
I'd recommend that you try not to boast in the comments section of a relatively unknown crossover story. It isn't good for other users' opinions of you, and it only serves to annoy the author and the readers.
I try to be professional and non-confrontational when I'm on this site and posting comments, but I am not very tolerant of people who come off as slightly arrogant or headstrong because of the comments they leave. So please, try not to act like I insulted your existence if you reply to this; it just won't make anything better.
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You and I both know that Celestia and Luna are not immortal in body, just in immortal in age. I would imagine their health bar to be bigger than a sectopod (the hardiest enemy in the game with their health being on 50 on hardcore) including shielding but nothing can stay alive after a few criticals that do 25 damage. And with Celestia using the powers of the sun? I would think she wouldn't dare go that far to kill one person without risking herself and her ponies. Furthermore have you been struck by magic? What you said from your story that a direct hit while being subdued will only knock the volunteer out, and lastly I wasn't bragging I was being drunk while writing my message. It took me 20 gos with 37 hours, 45 mins and 37 seconds to finish the story in a single swing with limited toilet breaks and food/water. So I would feel to celebrate by writing on fimfiction while drunk off my ass. Not to mention the possible fact that while Celestia may have a higher will than my volunteer, there's still the fact that my guy could still use mind control on her and succeed, I might be bragging a bit here but I used mind control on Ethrals with a 1% chance of succeeding and still managing to do it. Not to also mention I used second wave options to make things harder for me during my gameplay.
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Alright, I understand what you're saying, but I honestly do not care about your achievements. I congratulate you on them, but I don't exactly want to hear about them on a comment on my story. It's irrelevant, and it does not add any constructive criticism. I'm sorry about saying all that, and I'd be happy if you'd give some critique on the story. That way, we can end this conversation on a happier note.
Whaddya say?
5519702
Very good
Continue this story and don't let my drunk counterpart tell you otherwise.
Oh and take Captain Price with you, he's been rather angry lately.
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It's great how they're putting him under heavy guard, even though Rainbow Dash started the fight. It gives off a certain aura of arrogance about these ponies; believing that they are of better persona than the extraequistrial, and reinforcing this belief by acting as if The Volunteer started the fight, and it could only have been him, because they are of pure heart, and therfore did not overreact and immediately try to beat him up. It is interesting that your Fimfic should give this feeling, as it is the same "vibe" I get from watching the show. To me, that's a sign of good authorship. Very good story all-around; you, sir/madam, have gained my like. Conngratulations.
Just a little something I'd like to throw out there: Doesn't Rarity sleep with one of those eye mask things? Hey, it must've been quite a light-show to piece that thing.
This story still updating?
8125103
It's on hiatus, just like the other story I have on this site.
This is because of a combination of college being an asshole to my personal life, trying to work on another story on another site that I've more-or-less been on a roll with, co-writing three stories with two guys (with which one of them I've been co-writing two of those stories) and general laziness.
So, it might be a while before either this story or Resilience of the Soul gets updated, sorry to say.
Please forgive this dumbass writer for his transgressions.
8128845
Good enough to me knowing it's not dead.
Will this ever update again?
8415591
I have college to worry about, a bunch of other stories on other sites to worry about, my own entertainment to worry about, and a dozen other things I have to do IRL.
This story will be updated when it's updated. Don't rush me or complain, okay?
8415617
Sorry, just been so long since any news updates. I understand life problems and how they take away your free time. Didn't mean to rush you dude.
take all the time you need. i am patient... and it would be funny if you made a OC. covered side teams submitted by the readers. but if you have preset teams then by all means tell me just coming with an idea that worked well with some stories. oh and good luck you have me hooked. well-writted too. Ps. there's my two-cents