• Member Since 7th Oct, 2011
  • offline last seen Oct 14th, 2014

BlackM


T

There is a pony who goes by the name of Blues. It's not hard to miss him, but it's easy to forget about him. He is just an average pony with an average job and a bad luck streak.

But today he's going to change that. Blues is on his way to ask out the most beautiful pony in all of Ponyville. Surely nothing can go wrong, especially if the main cast get involved. Right?

Chapters (10)
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Comments ( 106 )

Hihi! This is a good prologue and introduction of your character! I like how he's sympathetic, unremarkable and a bit of an underdog (or -pony, as the case may be), which is a refreshingly good premise for an original character. I'm already rooting for him; I can't help it. :heart:

In terms of writing, the only thing that was a bit iffy, apart from the inevitable minor typographical error here and there, was how you mixed tenses all throughout the story. You might wanna double-check that.

Other than that, MOAR. I wanna see how you portray Rarity - she's so fun to write, IMHO. :raritywink:

i like it, a lot :rainbowdetermined2:
watch the tense shift, and a pre reader couldnt hurt. but i realaaaay enjoyed it

19244

Glad you liked it. :pinkiehappy: Just want to clarify, though, that he isn't really an OC, but a background pony who's already had plenty of fanart and fanfics about him, most notably Tangled Up in Blues.

And I get that a lot, about my tenses. I assure you, though, that they won't be an issue further into the story.

Stay tuned. I got more coming.

19356

Whoops, my bad; I totally wasn't aware of this character yet; I ought to have my pony license revoked!

Well, at least now I know. And knowing is at least 53% of the battle (give or take), n'est-ce pas?

I love it, and yeah I have problem with tenses as well... Bloody grammar.

amazing, i love it. should focus more on Blues poetic/musical nature now that its revealed


This was amazing and I agree with blue ericsson. Hell I wanna take a few pointer from you

Just don't give up on this story! Please!

Please continue, this has my attention, the characters are well fleshed, we'll see how the remaining mane 6 behaves :raritywink:

I detracked this because I saw you weren't updating it. Now that you are, I'm going to track and love the shit out of you! :flutterrage:

75192

I find it funny that you were the last comment before the story updated. Unfaithful much? :derpytongue2:

Don't worry. The next chapter will come out sooner than you think. It'll also be updated here earlier first. So keep an eye out for it. :raritywink:

so... everypony but Rarity is a near perfect match for Blues?

75522

You can call it a sort of 'guess that ship' fic. :pinkiehappy:

Also, I thought you guys deserved another update in the same day for waiting so long for this. You can call it a Merry Christmas sort of thing.

And I'll keep giving. :raritywink:

75544 that's so nice of you, I shall keep following this story and if it ends up being as good as it can then I may watch you as well

i love it so far! :rainbowkiss: but will blues meet rainbow dash? :unsuresweetie: o.o i like emoticons :rainbowlaugh: and sorry if waisting your time :twilightblush:

moar poems but other than that good job!

I just have one question, what was twilight doing in that cowboy outfit??? :twilightblush:

Disguise Party? :twilightsheepish:

ohohoho, i see whats goin on here... :unsuresweetie::ajsmug:

awww, Pinkie is so nice

dammit, I got mellow when thinking about this.....NOPONY MAKES ME MELLOW :flutterrage:

Pinkie! Stop breaking the Fourth Wall! You'll kill everyone!

This chapter made me LOL a lot.

Great Job.

this chap made me say to myself," ummm,erhhh, okay? I guess.? thats a good thing!:pinkiehappy::rainbowlaugh:

:rainbowderp: :rainbowderp: :rainbowderp: nooooo not Eggheads Guide to Sophistication!!! :raritycry: :raritycry: that was twilight's personal book (something near personal:rainbowlaugh: )

awesome, can't wait for the next chapter

and please don't tell me that Rainbow Dash accidentally burned down his house

75986
In one way or another... :pinkiecrazy:

The 4th wall has be shattered :pinkiecrazy:

Uh oh, I think that Fluttershy's advice, has undone Blues. :fluttershysad:

First off, I love your narration style. It's probably because it kinda reminds me of my own except on breaking the 4th wall. If I did a Pinkie fan fic, I might do that. :pinkiesmile:

There are a few grammatical gaffes here or there but those can be forgiven. The only thing that threw me off is that I had trouble tracking who was speaking during Rainbow's flashback. Maybe it's because you stuck strictly with dialogue and no other elements which I'm assuming was done to distinguish that part from the rest of the chapter. I generally keep my style but that's just a personal preference. :twilightsmile:

Anyways, great job on everything so far. I have a hunch on how it's going to end but I won't spill it here. :moustache:

88347

That part of the fic was meant to be humorous, and I felt the usual detailed style of the fic would detract from the humor. If it helps, the dialogue is just between two characters and doesn't fumble order. I try to keep it from being too confusing that way. :twilightsmile:

And if the narration comes off as slightly sarcastic, you're doing it right. :pinkiecrazy:

Next chapter will come soon. Maybe tomorrow, maybe Tuesday. I never try to give these things a set date because I never reach it. The next chapter is a doozy, though.

Look forward to it. :raritywink:

Oh dear.....:fluttershysad: I can't WAIT for the next chapter!

ALLONS-Y!!!

I must agree with the Gallifreyan I cannot wait for it and this one was very good

Mormon Pinkie. :pinkiehappy: Great line, had me laughing.

Bloody great chap mate, cant wait for the next:eeyup:

Awesome chapter! :D Can't wait to see how the party goes, if you plan on adding said chapter (Or even MOAR chapters! :D). I'll be following you, hoping to see more awesome material from you!

The D’AWW .......it's too much

Another great chapter, now I'm even more interested to see where this goes :twilightsmile:

Wow, so it's suddenly Pinkie\Blues ship? ME GUSTA

92356

Teehee. :rainbowkiss:

Let's get some faves down on this story. More faves mean sooner update. :pinkiehappy: The fic is almost over anyway. Next chapter is the last one. :yay:

92363
You know, when you think about it, Blues is depressed and sad pony. He doesn't need 'generousity' of mare who can't even appreciate his efforts, he needs lovely pink mare who can make him smile and care about him. :pinkiesmile:

So, BLUES \ PINKIE PIE SHIPPING FOR THE WIN!!!

setting his house on fire, wow!:rainbowderp::pinkiegasp: SEX PHONE! Hilarious:rainbowlaugh:!!!!

Quote'' lets all marry him!" :pinkiegasp: MY JAW DROPPED LITERALLY. YODA QUOTE" A DISTURBANCE, I FEEL IN THE AIR.":rainbowkiss:

fourth wall break twice. i agree with shipping. i need the party chapter too. :pinkiehappy::ajsmug::twilightsmile:

amazing. you deserve the five stars:heart:

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