Gilda the Griffon looked down at the rural, Earth Pony originating town of Ponyville from a cloud perched about fifteen hundred feet in the air. Her eyes were red, puffy and streaked with tears. With a long piece of rope hanging from her beak, she expertly tied the rope around both of her wings. A trick I learned in flight camp...with Dash She looked at the setting sun as it's orange hue cast a faint glow over the horizon. Sighing and looking back, Gilda had a flash of hope, a regret of doing what she was about to do. However, as quickly as it came it was gone. Taking a deep breath and closing her eyes, Gilda jumped off of the cloud, flying straight down. The force of gravity plus her downward motion sent her straight towards the ground at break neck speeds...
Falling...
Falling...
Falling...
1 hour ago, location: Rainbow Dash's house
Gilda landed on Rainbow's front lawn, her eyes shining with tears and looking down at a picture of her and Dash as fillies. Man those were the days...but then I had to go and screw it up.
In her other talon was an envelope, addressed to Rainbow. She opened the envelope and gingerly placed the memorable photo inside. Too conflicted to do anything else, she dropped the envelope on the "Welcome" mat at Rainbow's door. She knocked loud enough for the pony to hear if she was home, then bolted away from the cloud house as fast as she had ever flown before, not even noticing that one of her primary feathers had fallen from her wing and landed on Rainbow's front lawn.
Just waking up from an afternoon nap, Rainbow Dash groaned loudly as she gave her stiff body a stretch, sighing as she felt a few joints pop, and then opening the door. She raised an eyebrow when no one greeted her at the door, and she hovered lazily around the front part of her house in search of somepony. The first thing Dash noticed was the chestnut feather, and picked it up quickly. G-Gilda...? Now noticing the envelope as well, Rainbow opened it as was astonished to find the old Flight Camp photo, and a hastily written letter. Curious, she began to read:
Dear Rainbow Dash,
If your reading this, then that means my one attempt at an apology has failed and I can't think of any way you'll want to be friends with me again. I understand this now, I realized the mistakes I made, I just wished I had more time to tell you to your face. Any-who, after finally understanding what I did wrong, I've decided that the only way for me to make up for what I did, I have to stay out of your way forever...which means I'm going to kill myself and make sure I don't ever get in your way again. At around 6:00 o' clock pm I will fall fifteen hundred feet in the air and dive-bomb onto the streets. Please, I ask that you don't try and stop me... this is for the best.
Your best friend,
Gilda Grif-
Rainbow Dash had read the whole thing with wide eyes, and her eyes teared up as she noticed the blotchy ink spots on the parchment. Gilda had been crying...she cried for me, and now...NO! I MUST STOP HER!
She left her house as quickly as possible, her signature rainbow trail following her as she flew higher and higher, searching for the Griffon who was trying to end her life...
Suicide? C'mon Gilda...what could possibly cause you to think of doing such a thing!? T-that's not fair to me..or to any of us...I understand your upset but...I never got to tell you...h-how....how I..
So...as Gilda the Griffon looked down at the rural town of Ponyville from a cloud perched about fifteen hundred feet in the air. Her eyes were red, puffy and streaked with tears. With a long piece of rope hanging from her beak, she expertly tied the rope around both of her wings. A trick I learned in flight camp...with Dash She looked at the setting sun as it's orange hue cast a faint glow over the horizon. Sighing and looking back, Gilda had a flash of hope, a regret of doing what she was about to do. However, as quickly as it came it was gone. Taking a deep breath and closing her eyes, Gilda jumped off of the cloud, flying straight down. The force of gravity plus her downward motion sent her straight towards the ground...
Falling...
Falling...
Falling...
Gilda opened her eyes for a brief moment to watch the ground speed toward her, and she readied herself for the impact of the cold hard ground, However, within the span of less than 10 seconds, all she could see in her eyes was an explosion of color, and a familiar cyan coat, her whole weight shifted as she felt herself be carried...carried all the way to an also familiar cloud house...
Rainbow let out a sigh of relief as she landed in front of her house. Her biggest priority now taken care of, it was all about preparing for the confrontation that was sure to ensue soon. She gently set the griffon onto her front lawn and noticed that she was unconscious. Her body is probably in shock...
Taking initiative again, she brought out some blankets from her house and wrapped them around both herself and Gilda. She snuggled in next to her best friend, and watched Gilda's chest rise and fall in tandem with her breathing.
"You stupid griffon...your lucky I love you" she mumbled, nuzzling Gilda's cheek and snuggling in under Gilda's wing. Rainbow soon felt the plague of sleep drawing over her as her eyelids grew heavy. Before falling asleep, she put her most confident smile on her face as she realized that she seriously prevented the death of someone that was dear to her, and the fact that this person was her crush...
ill be watching, interesting concept, albeit a bit rushed... thumbs up and keep it up!!!
4176600 Thank you very much
This was... well.
I'm certainly watching this, since I like the idea so far a lot.
This was obviously rushed and has smaller problems everywhere, but here are two things that you should really address first
to get less downvotes:
>>which means I'm going to kill myself and make sure I don't ever get in your way again<<
Oh my... that was way over the top, could use something like "end my life" " and "not to bother you any longer" instead.
(btw, that was a call for help if I ever heard one, being so explicit about the what and when...)
Also revealing rainbows crush right away and this blunt and without any kind of backstory... you should really think that over.
(would have been a cool Idea too if Gilda was the one having the crush, maybe one-sided, providing a perfect setting for her desperation leading to this)
But don't get me wrong, a lot could and should be improved, but I still like it and can't wait for the next chapter, keep it up
4179416 Thank you for your excellent feedback, I'll make the adjustments as soon as I can and to be honest, a lot of words here I just used to break the 1k limit and get this up. As far as the concept goes, I'd rather have RD with the crush because Gilda is the type of person that takes a long time to understand feelings, and that can lead to some plot development I can use. Thanks again for the wonderful feedback though!
As others have said, it does feel a bit rushed, and a bit over-the-top, but those are fixable. I like redemption stories, and I like Gilda, and I have no real trouble imagining her doing something desperate. You'll finish writing it, I hope.
YYEEESSSS!!!
I love Gilda x Dash stories!
I wrote something similar, but it was before I read your fic so sorry if I copied anything.
I'm SSOOOOOO looking forward to this story!
Aw...I liked it up until the letter. It had potential...