• Member Since 4th Nov, 2013
  • offline last seen Last Friday


Nobody Cares, right?


Derpy is one of the best mailmares in Equestria. To keep her beloved Dinky safe, and the muffins supplied, she takes odd jobs in every corner of the country, making her an uncommon but not surprising sight anywhere in the world.

Celestia is the royal alicorn of the Sun, the Lady of Light, the Eye of Radiance. She stands alone as the most powerful and most respected member of nobility, although her general day to day activities keep her far distant from any limelight.

Dinky loves her mother completely. And she thinks Time Turner is a nice enough colt, even if he does leave all the time in that funny box of his. But Dinky knows that her mother could really use a special somepony of her own.

And wouldn't it be awesome if she could have a little brother or something to teach how to do magic? (That's how that works, right? When two ponies are special someponies?)

This will take all her cunning, daring, and the most politeness ever. And maybe some muffins.
(Random Romance Mar2014)

Chapters (7)
Comments ( 89 )

This... This is too adorable to go wrong.:rainbowkiss:

I don't think I stopped laughing since chapter 2. This was awesome, good combination of light romance, some adorable Dinkyness and good humor.

Oh no! The Princess of homework, noooooo!

A nice and fluffy story overall, though I personally would like just a bit more romance.

In other news: Derpy has the Mystic Eyes of Death Perception. We are all doomed. :derpytongue2:

4202635 I am glad your approval panned out. It was a silly fun fluff piece, and I was happy to write it.

4203057 :twilightoops: What? What do you mean fillies and colts don't want to do extra homework? Extra homework is a reward!

4203810 Indeed. I think I pretty much threw romance behind the sofa just for the sake of some adorable silliness. I'm sure that's where I earned my thumbs down from. But I hope it was still enjoyable.

Pretty good, quite enjoyable.

This... this... *sniff* *sniff*:fluttercry: this was so... beautiful... this (chapter) should be read to children every Christmas...:raritycry:

4206647 Hey, if it made you smile, I'm doing my job. :ajsmug:

4206778 Why does nobody like Prince Blueblood? He's a Prince! His life is nothing but hardship and pain! Why, how would you survive without a servant? :trollestia:

That was a fun read! Good humor, good plot, and you broke Blueblood. And Dinky's last line was more than perfect. Laughed a lot at this one. Keep the good stuff coming!:twilightsmile:

4209287 My competition! I still need to read your story, but glad it amused. :derpytongue2: Now Punzil just needs to finish her entry and we got some real warfare going on!

Mild mannered mailmare by day, but when duty calls she becomes Supermare!

4212889 She is the mailmare Equestria needs and deserves.

This is everything I wish my story had been. Somehow this story needs to find its way to the feature box.

Permission to promote by adding the story to a couple of shipping groups?

4219334 I... sure Punzil. But I still wanted to see your entry! Come on! :pinkiehappy: Come ooooon. :raritystarry: COME AWN! :flutterrage:

I posted a link to it in the March Contest thread... it's readable, just unpublished.

4220455 I liked it. It did feel a little unpolished, but go figure, so do most of our fanfictions. Next time we just need to start writing earlier so we post the stories on time.

(Tha password's always swordfish!)

This was one of the cutest Dinky-fics I've ever read.:yay::moustache: The unusual romance was actually refreshing and you wrote it well, even if the ending was a little rushed. :derpytongue2: :heart:

You've got yourself a fan. I look forward do reading more from you in the future... maybe a Blueblood in a mental ward?

Your potential as a writer is enormous; and writing only improves with time.

4246584 I might have a few silly extended scenes(Bonus epilogues, really), and not be averse to trying to extend the story later.

Poor Blueblood, why does everyone want to see him in such pain? :pinkiecrazy: For no reason whatsoever!

I really appreciate the kind words. :pinkiehappy: I hope to not disappoint. Or at least if I do disappoint it's not quite a spectacle visible from orbit.

...Although I should probably start writing a bit more besides the Random Romance monthly prompts.

But I get all lazy and distracted reading all the other cool things people write! :twilightblush:

4246720 this is too good. It makes me feel all inadequate.

4246791 Don't be ridiculous. I write half-way decently because I like books. So I'm simply more adept at stealing ideas.

Everyone can learn to do anything these days! It just takes time and effort. Become great! Write! Be free! GO!

But I am glad you liked it. :ajsmug:

4246827 I thought I liked to read... *runs away crying*

4246943 :fluttercry: Well. Um. Feel... better? :unsuresweetie:

This was fekkin adorable. I'm sure you recall how critical I was in your other stories about using goofy methods to achieve serious ends? This is a much more appropriate use of your trademark style. I approved of every moment.

I admit I haven't read your rival's story for the contest yet, but after reading this (s)he's gonna have to really wow me to win my vote.

And congrats; you've written two of my six favorites.

4259255 Squee. :pinkiehappy: I will continue to strive to make the sunshine and lollipops palatable and quality in nature.



My face hurts from smiling way to much! I think its gonna get stuck this way forever now! :pinkiehappy: Not entirely a bad thing but it hurts so dang much! lol!

This was simpley adorable and I loved every second of it! I laughed to the point that I almost fell over when I stood up to turn my room light on. (I'm not even joking about that, I had to catch myself on the bed to keep from hitting the floor.)

Anyway I will be checking out some of your other writings I hope they are all just as good if not better then this one.


4281026 Heh! I'm glad you liked it PPF (Can I call you PPF?). I don't have much to brag about, but I'm working on various bits and ideas. Although all of them are probably way waaaaay in the future at this point. :pinkiehappy:

Anyway, you keep reading, I will too. And writing. Writing is also a good thing to do.

4281327 I need to get back into writing my third chapter to my story, I've not even got it started yet... >.<

I love reading when I find a good story I'll read all of it, I just got done reading a 94 chapter HiE the other day, It took me two weeks to finish it. I enjoyed it, There was some minor flaws in the beginning but later on it turned out really good....

Anyway yes, yes you may call me PPF lol Its all good :twilightsmile:

sweet sweet Dinky:heart:

Celestia and Dinky are sweet together and i like it that she did the same with Twilight. :heart:


Glad you enjoyed the story! Yeah, I just couldn't see any possibility where High General Smartypants hadn't negotiated 'vital and necessary' cookie supplies from the Equestrian government.

Calling Bookfort. This is High General Smartypants. :twilightsmile: This is Bookfort, go ahead High General.

Aww!! This is so cute that nothing can go wrong!! (I HAVE NO REGRETS FOR SAYING THAT!)

Umm, Derpy has seven bubbles on her cutiemark, not three. Just wanted to clarify that.:derpytongue2:

I loved this. It was short, sweet, funny, fluffy, and downright ADORABLE!! It feels nice to take a breather with a fic like this compared to other stories like Rites of Ascension or The Road not Taken. These kinds of stories make me feel good and make me happy.


Glad your expectations panned out! Admittedly the ship is a bit unexpected, but hey, that's why I joined Random Romance! It's all about the not quite expected.


:twilightoops: :trixieshiftleft::trixieshiftright: *Edit, edit, edit*

:coolphoto: You saw nozzing.


Well to me it's not that unexpected. Derpy is just so adorable that pretty much anyone who loves her will probably ship her with anypony she is nice to. . . which according to my headcannon is everypony.

I actually became a fan of DerpyxLuna because of strangely the Princess Molestia tumblr because they are just so damn adorable together!! But Celestia here works as well. I actually have an idea for a romance/comedy fic where Princess Luna and Celestia are both trying to court Derpy, and let all the love triangle and sister rivalry insanity ensue mwuahahahaha!!:pinkiecrazy: Buuuuut it has to get in line because I have about 30 fics that I wanna write, but I can only write one at a time so it may take a while. . .

4304735 :trixieshiftright: Sounds interesting. I'm hardly one to complain about update speed. Especially considering my own list of unfinished ideas.

I shall look forward to seeing what stories you write.


Hehe, might take a while since I'm still working on one story which has been ongoing for two years now actually:twilightblush: Hopefully I can get it done soon and move on to my other story ideas.

4304810 The constant lament of a writer. Good luck!

I think that letter gave me Dinkabeties :derpytongue2:

4336957 Sounds severe! You should probably read something Dark and Tragic to cure that.

Regent Derpy...YES!

4424199 Crown atop her head, one hoof on the golden staff, one hoof raised into the air, eyes rolling in separate directions, and still wearing that darn maid outfit. Seated on a throne at least two times too big for her. Cuts a regal figure, don't she?

So when's the wedding?

4499401 Let's see, trade agreement... meeting with the dragon representative... meeting with the griffon representative... peering through tome of magic Pony Was Not Meant To Know... playing silly games with Luna... making Luna foalsit Dinky again because she won't stop dominating her sister...

You know, I think this schedule might be filled in the near future. :derpytongue2: Although I am trying to get some of the cuter ideas out of my head into a sort of sequel.

I love this story SO MUCH. This is my 3rd time reading it!

Dinky's right though, when the plan is laid out like that, there's no way it can fail!

"Is there some rule that this family is filled with wisdom?


She had to admit, she had a slight talent in regards to fragility. Or perhaps destruction, although that one made less sense connected to her cutie mark.

No, it makes perfect sense. Cutie marks are symbolic rather than literal. Rainbow Dash doesn't have a special talent related to Lightning but to speed, which lightning is associated with. Bubbles represent fragility, because there is nothing that can stand up to Derpy's abilities with destruction. Before her even the strongest building of wood and brick might as well be a delicate construction of soap and water.... As proven with Town Hall.

Moreover, cutie marks symbolism is based on the bearer, not society. No one would have thought Cherilee's mark referred to teaching without her to explain because it picked imagery that made sense to her not to the general populace. Perhaps Derpy used to spend hours popping bubbles?

Sadly, Derpy either did not think to go into demolition or there's just not enough work of that type in the area, thanks to the small population and tendency of people to just get friends to help them, like Applejack got Rainbow Dash to help with her barn.

... And then Bluebood died in a 'terrible accident'. Who knew that load-bearing wall would collapse just then after standing strong for hundreds of years, dropping a ton of rubble upon him?

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