A Queen's Lament

by Crystal Static

Part Three - Epilogue

A Queen's Lament

Part Three

I haven't written in my journal for a while. Radiance is going to school with the other foals. She has been having a few issues with bullies, but nothing too bad. Radiance joined that galloping disaster of a club with those three other fillies, the Cutie Mark Challengers? Cavaliers? Crusaders? All I know is that they are called the 'CMC' by everypony else. I have heard some of the stories about that club, but at the same time, who am I to deny my daughter her friends?

Shining Armor and Cadence visit occasionally to see Radiance, she is really attached to her father. I really need to yell at Shiny for sending all of those gifts from the Crystal Empire… Either way, things are going great.

We had a few issues when Radiance first enrolled in the school. Apparently the parents of other students didn't like the idea of the daughter of Queen Chrysalis in their foals' classes. Cherilee told the parents that they could either deal with the fact that my daughter will be in the classes, or take their foals 'to one of the many other schools in Ponyville'. We haven't had any real problems since then.

I have to wrap up this journal entry now, I just heard a shout of 'CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS, DEMOLITION EXPERTS, YAY!' from downstairs, and I really should stop them from destroying the town again.

Author's Note:

I am going to work on a sequel at some point in the future, so whoohoo to that.

Comments

[Burnasius]

Well... That is a warm and mind ending.

[Frankie2]

Do changelings age differently than normal ponies? I'm just wondering how Chrysalis' daughter is going to school with the Cutie Mark Crusaders?

[Crystal Static]

4181931 Changelings mature faster than ponies, and the average lifetime is similar in length to ponies. Emotive Energy, in sufficient amounts, can increase changeling lifespans based on energy usage and consumption. Large amounts of energy generally means longer lifespan.

Changelings mature from nymph to adult in about six months, the fact that Radiance is only part changeling, her development is faster to the foal stage, but then her pony genes take over.

[RainbowCoolDash Pariah]

LOL at the last part. Squeal please

[DarklightArk]

I don't know, I didn't even realize it was journal entry style till that last sentence. It honestly feels less like a story and more like a exposition for one.but that's just me.

[sorenxoras]

.... Should have seen the journal thing coming.

[DarkPinkie]

Okay, so after reading this story I have a few points.

The pacing felt really weird and awkward most of the time. If you are aiming for a journal type of style and pacing then you should try to stay away from dialogue and monologue. As well as present tense. If I stub my toe and then wrote it down I wouldn't write exactly what I said and did at the time it would be more along the lines of what happened and my current thoughts about it. 'I stubbed my toe this morning. It hurt like a bitch. Maybe I shouldn't kick my chair.'

So the hive starts with five thousand changelings. Fully understandable. Then goes down to 173 after the failed invasion. Quite a bad drop but nothing unusual. Then wittles down to 112 couple of weeks later. Starvation is a bitch. Then the integration happens and (what feels like) three months later the population is back at over a thousand... SAY WHAT!? For a rise like that every changeling couple needs to have on average at least 20 children each. Which brings me to my second point. Just how quick did Radience grow? From infant to pre adolescent child in 2.5 months. If it took any longer then the show's CMC squad would be too old. Prrhaps you should have put more thought to the numbers and the perspective of time.

[Skyress1]

Well all I can say...is... That was creepy! I Know that's your writing style, but it seems as you pass a day with every paragraph... no offence...
At least the last part seems more relaxed although the cutie mark crusaders aren't. It would have been better were there more chapters with less in, but more description, but otherwise, it's to the point and a good story.

[Edguy0009]

I have to wrap up this journal entry now, I just heard a shout of 'CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS, DEMOLITION EXPERTS, YAY!' from downstairs, and I really should stop them from destroying the town again.

I laughed when I read this.

[GenerationNight]

10023498
And I believed that I was a destructive child.
I took things apart to see what makes them tick, I wasn’t expecting to be outmatched.
Guess I was wrong. They are on another level. I couldn’t stop laughing for 15 minutes.