Will he be okay?
Twilight and the rest of the Elements of Harmony returned to the library after helping the breezies return home. Today's adventure was wonder and a shock at the same time.
"I still can't believe that Seabreeze was a father. What a shock!" Rainbow Dash said.
"I know. I knew he sounded like he was in a hurry, but I never expected that." Said Applejack.
"I kinda knew. Only a parent would get that worked up about getting home." Fluttershy said.
"Well, that was a fun time. I even learned a new spell. Anypony want a drink or something?" Twilight asked. The others nodded and Twilight strolled into the kitchen. A scream escaped from the kitchen and sent a chill down the everypony's spines. Everypony rushed into the kitchen to see what was wrong.
"Twilight?! What's wrong dear?" Rarity asked. Twilight didn't speak. She just pointed a hoof to Spike's unconscious body. His wrist was slightly cut open. The blood had stopped running and surrounded his arm and head. Everypony screamed in horror and Twilight fell to her knees crying.
"Oh Spike. Why would you do it? What did I do wrong?" Twilight asked. The tears in her eyes nearly drowned out the vision of the baby dragon. Pinkie Pie's mane blow flat. Rarity covered her mouth in despair and shock.
"We can't just stand around here! We need to take him to the hospital, and fast!" Rainbow Dash said seriously. Applejack and Rarity nodded and rushed to the door. Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie helped Twilight up to her hooves. Twilight was still crying furiously. Spike lying nearly dead on her back.
"He'll be okay Twilight. We'll get him to help." Fluttershy assured her friend.
"Yeah Twi. Spike will be up and running again or my name isn't Pinkamina Diane Pie." Pinkie Pie chimed in. Twilight looked at her supportive friends and dried her eyes. She was the luckiest mare in Equestria. Using her magic, she levitated Spike onto her back and everypony ran to the hospital.
"Don't worry Spike. You'll be better soon." Twilight thought to herself. As it was obvious, Spike tried to kill himself. Little to Twilight and the others knowledge is they were partially the reason he did it.
Inside the hospital room Spike was hooked up to a heart monitor and a blood transfusion. Thanks to a kindhearted stallion, Spike was able to get blood to remain stable. The constant beeps were the only sound that filled the room. The mares were standing over Spike body, hoping that he would wake up. The doctor walked into the room with a clipboard in his hooves. Twilight almost pounced at the doctor to know how Spike was.
"How is he Doctor?! Will Spike be okay?! Will he ever wake up?!" Twilight asked. Rarity pulled Twilight back.
"I understand how you feel Miss Sparkle. I have some good news for you all. Spike will make a full recovery and awake from his coma in an hour." Doctor Heart said.
Twilight cried tears of joy. She was so happy Spike would live. Twilight hugged the doctor and her friends. For ten minutes, Twilight remained hugging her friends.
After fifty minutes of pacing, switching between sitting on her hounces and standing, and staring at Spike later Twilight finally broke down.
"I can't take it anymore! I need to use a spell." She said. Her horn illuminated, but Fluttershy grabbed her.
"No Twilight! The doctor said he would up in an hour. Any second now, Spike will wake up. You just need to wait." Fluttershy assured.
"But I want to talk to him now! I need to know why. Why did he do it?" Twilight argued.
"Flutters is right Twilight. Besides it's okay. Spike is wake already. Look!" Pinkie Pie said, She pointed to the now awoken baby dragon. Spike weakly smiled and waved.
Stats
Page generated in 0.027 seconds
Total duration
1,052 users online
1,712,349 hits today, 2,571,732 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
DUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!
Apart from a few mistakes this is a good little story
This is a great story! Definitely gets my upvote.
But one thing is seriously bothering me. Spike was NOT in a coma. A coma occurs when someone maintain's serious brain damage and their body shuts down. Spike wasn't in a coma; he was just unconscious. So unless that doctor is supposed to be an idiot at his job, please change that one bit of dialogue.
4159012 That reference. I get it.
Hm... good thing about this fic is that the action is very dynamic. Bad things is that you could exploit characters thoughts and inner turmoil a little better. Honestly I don't know what to make of it, the fic certainly didn't make me feel sad or didn't leave dark feeling but I liked it anyway. I'll gladly see it all later, see what you'll come up with next, I'm especially expecting how you'll handle Spike explaining himself and emotions of others
4159014 While you are right, he could be in a coma. A coma can come from blood loss somehow. I know from family experience.
4159037 I guess you're right; blood could stop flowing to the brain, therefore causing it to cease function. But the cut was on Spike's wrist, right? The way blood works if there is a serious cut is that the heart first pumps blood much faster to make up for the lost blood due to the wound. But after a while, the heart realizes that pumping blood faster will lead to loss of more blood through the wound, and will go into a dormant state.
If, say, the cut was deep into Spike's neck, forbidding oxygen-carrying blood to get to the brain, then a coma would likely happen quickly. But since the opening is on Spike's wrist, not blocking blood from going to the brain, a coma would not be possible until the heart goes into the dormant state, which can take a long time. So, the possibility of a coma depends on the gap of time between when Spike cut himself and when the Mane Six found him.
HE IS AN EX-SPIKE
4159101 It's a nightmare, a really bad one.
This should've been a one-shot.
Good story seems a bt rushed though
I agree with 4159035. I don't really know what to make of this.... it's a bit rushed, and in the beginning, everypony seemed out of character (unless Spike was hallucinating), and this didn't really make me feel 'sad', per say. Also, the point brought up by
4159070 makes a LOT of sense. Logic man, logic! You could definitely develop the situation more, but.... BUT this was interesting and entertaining. No thumbs up yet, but keep working!
4159122 I guess, what is missing is how this suicide happens so abruptly. Usually, suicide is a slow process that goes through stages like thinking about it, if there is no other option, then its about deciding and acquiring the means to kill oneself. Not to mention there are various symptoms of suicidal behavior:
Hopelessness, Anhedonia, Insomnia. Depression, Severe anxiety, Angst, Impaired concentration, Psychomotor agitation, Panic attack, Severe remorse
While not all must be present, what I mean to say is that it happens a little to quickly, Spike literally kills himself to fast.
Also...I want that muffin you have in your avatar
4159163 That's what I meant by "rushed'. And here! Just for you!
th06.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2012/211/5/5/derpy_loves_muffin_by_arokip-d596hc9.png
4159171 Yay!
Have some of the cake in exchange derpicdn.net/img/view/2013/7/5/365429__safe_solo_twilight+sparkle_cute_magic_upvotes+galore_socks_adorable_cake_food.png
4159175 Thanks!
4159163 You are 100% right. I used to have suicidal thoughts (Not anymore, don't worry
) but I had those for years and didn't try to commit suicide once. Like you said, it takes years. I guess we're supposed to assume that Spike has been having these thoughts for a long time now...but it would've been nice for some elaboration on that topic. I'm studying to become a neurologist, so it really irks me when people create incorrect depictions of medical topics. 
4159219 Well, I studied psychology in my younger days and yep, suicide takes a long time, maybe not years but a couple of months at least. it usually depends how bad the situation is or how resilient the psyche is.
Human mind can naturally overcome most obstacles by itself, although sometimes its just too much of a burden for a person. Suicide is a gradual process, those symptoms I wrote tend to weaken the mind and when one is finally weakened enough, people finally attempt suicide.
In truth, most people have suicidal thoughts or at least everyone had those at some point in life. To actually attempt suicide it takes a lot of guts and a really bad situation that makes one wonder if he/she should live at all.
Also thank you for that comment about coma, I had no medical knowledge about this. I'm sure it will come in handy if one day I attempted to injure character in my own story
4159246 Always glad to assist in correctly abusing fictional characters!
*doesn't know if wants more*
finally he does something useful
I think the story is a bit rushed.
twilight: "why did you do it spike!? "
Spike: "w-well I had this dream"
twilight: "YOU TRYED TO KILL YOUR SELF OVER A BUCKING DREAM!?"
4159097
t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ1mdX_9QvdtKg1Gku4z_-ue6e3sZMWhRWQYqvJ6Tiv8oQ5cNGH3g
4159368 that's a low blow
4159037 I have to agree on it being rushed, but with Spike slitting his wrist, you need to tell us if he did it vertically or horizontally in conjunction to his claw.
If he made a vertical gash than he would bleed out rather quickly, but if he made a horizontal gash than he wouldn't die.
Also on the note of blood, I don't think a stallion can donate blood to a dragon. Just saying.
I like the reasons you give for Spike to commit suicide.
To improve or lengthen it, you could have Spike start out with horizontal gashes, like any one who is too afraid to pull the plug right away.
4159742 In regards to Spike's blood transfusion I know that at least in the Dungeons & Dragons Universe, dragons can interbreed with anything, and a template you can give to your characters is half dragon, sorcerers (3.5 Edition) are even said to have dragon blood providing their powers, so a different species blood being used to save a dragon is not implausible.
Not to mention since we're dealing with a rather tough magical creature how various wounds would effect them is up for plenty of debate. I don't think any of us has knowledge of a Dragon's circulatory systems, ideas and suspicions yes, true knowledge no, (and for obvious reasons).
4159870 "Clap Clap" good sir
You got me. I never played Dungeons and dragons so I wouldn't know.
I still think it is impossible, but if you are placing this inside D and D logic than my argument is invalid\
Although I still think you should specify if the gash is vertical or horizontal
this felt...rushed..like..really rushed
4159884
By all accounts it is but Dragons are in and of themselves to the best of our knowledge impossible. When you enter a fantasy realm you have to accept some impossible things as possible, what those are can depend on the kind of fantasy, and even within the same style of fantasy their can be vast differences (Intelligent vs. Dumb dragons, tamable vs. untamable vs. sapient independent species). So long as their is precedent it can't exactly be ruled out.
4160059 Yeah, but then again.
It just feels right. I understand what's going on and can picture it perfectly.
Think of it as the skeleton, and you the reader are adding the muscles, skin, and other details. Like just picture this in a movie or maybe in real life.
The words are not being rushed. You just need to imagine the conversation on how it would go in a slow or faced pace.
You are the director.~
Few posterior errors but I get the memo.
The only flaw in this plot for me is what are the chances the blood of an equine would carry the same blood type for a dragon.
I know it's a little technical but I feel the blood logic in Equestria would fall in the same realm as here.
But I'll just recall as being an ingestion of some Oleander that Spike had which caused his deathly ailments. But now he is being treated.
Simple quirks in the story can really make it fly.~
Post.Script
I am searching for a partnership in publishing stories. What do you say?
I have a bad case of the writer's block...
Moar.
good,good.
you want a really depressing suicide story, this one can make do but others are better.
with that said, many others are 1000x worse than this. keep up the work
This chapter felt very rushed.
If he doesn't die, I'mma be pissed to no end.
4159368 I love you.
4161908
of course he won't die. He's the neckbeard avatar.
I don't see a tragedy tag. Normal common sense would indicate that this means Spike succeeds and dies in this fic, but I have a feeling this may have been written by a Spike fan, which means he probably lives.
Touching story! Love to see what will happen next!!!
4161908
4159368
Honestly I was coming to write some pointers or advice but this guy, 4159014 hit the nail on the head on what this fic needs more of. I eagerly await the next chapter.
This was... Disappointing.
You have a great idea, but your execution is poor. You rush over the things you should develop more fully, languish over the things that don't matter, you use too many adjectives and cliches, and you have a couple of factual errors.
What you have here is a good first draft. Now you just need to develop your ideas more fully.
I'm still wondering how the doctor managed to determine the time till' spike wakes up from his coma.
I thought waking up from a coma would be at random?
4159742 I doubt the author would know that, and I don't think he/she is changing the story. But you definitely have a point.
4166496 Then my job here is done
4159387
A few things that I thought were a little off.
1.) I am perty' sure pony blood and dragon blood is different...
2.) No one can know when someone will wake from a comma...
I will be tracking this story.
4166978 despite this it doesnt matter, its still a good story!
the story is good, i only agree with the coma thing, but hay, its magic, we dont know, there could be a spell that would allow that, i cant wait to see more of this story! thank you for sharing it with us!
4167105
I know, I just wanted to point those out.
I was gonna put, "but I guess magic..." but I didn't wan't to sound like a dick.
Can I remind everyone that this is a world of magical talking ponies? Normal medical things would change to their bodies. But some points are logical, but I like my story so far.
4167145 fair point, tis better to be ally then enemies