• Published 25th Mar 2014
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TiM: Best of Intentions, Worst of Results - Twidashforever



TiM #3: The cost of inactions is often higher then the cost of action, yet who pays the price? Sequel to The Truth in Meanings

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Heartbreak

Canterlot Castle

Alicorns are the perfect mix of earth ponies, unicorns, and pegasi. As such, they have the best qualities of all three races. They carry the magic of a unicorn, the wings of a pegasus and the strength of an earth pony. For what NIght wanted right now, she accessed her earth pony side, and drew upon that strength. Shimmering Night transferred all her weight onto her front legs. Lifting herself up on them, she kicked back with her back legs, striking out with all the strength of the strongest earth ponies.

Her back legs kicked out at the doors with all her might, with a force that would shatter steel. Her legs flew back true, they were dead on target to connect squarely with the doors, and just like all the times before, the magical energy shield absorbed and reflected the force of the blow back into her. Causing Night untold pain and discomfort.

“You know, the definition of insanity is doing the exact same thing over and over and expecting different results.”

“Shut up Dawn.”

“Yes, your highness.”

Night grunted at her husband that was sarcastically bowing to her, with a goofy grin on his face. She tried to stand back up after yet another failed attempt. Only for her legs to start buckling (yet again) as she was forced to sit down before they gave out and she fell over.

“Well you have only tried that about fifty times this week, so I am not sure if that actually qualifies as over and over.”

“Shut up and help me up.”

He kept his goofy grin as he walked over to her, allowing her to wrap a wing around his body so she could transfer her weight to him to help her stand. “Why do you keep doing this to yourself, you know that physical force will not open it.”

Her expression quickly changed from one of annoyance at her husband for his quirky remarks to one of depression at the horrible events of the last few weeks, with tears in her eyes she answered his question. “It’s the only way I know she is still alive.”

He rubbed their muzzles together, as a gesture of love and respect for his wife, and his understanding of what this was doing to her.

“I still cannot believe you, Celestia, and Luna were unable to break down that shield. Just how strong is Twilight anyway?”

Night nodded at that statement. In truth, they should have been able to do it. Twilight was a powerful alicorn, however, three alicorns should have been enough. ‘Perhaps, even I do not know my mom’s strength.’

“I should consider it a blessing that she allows Celestia to visit once a week; even if mom limits their visits to just five minutes at a time.”

“Is that why Celestia always comes back to Canterlot every Sunday?”

Night nodded at her husband. Celestia and Luna had been on permanent damage control since the mega rainboom had caused untold damage all across Equestria. The death toll was in the hundreds of thousands, and still climbing. Fillydelphia was directly in the shockwaves path. So far, the ponies that survived Fillydelphia’s destruction from the mega rainboom were pitifully few, less than a thousand ponies in total survived. It was one more pain that Equestria would bear, one more pain her mom had to bear. ‘Perhaps that is why Celestia has yet to tell her all the details.’ She thought.

As horrible as all this was, Night shivered at the thought of what would have happened if the Titan were still on the loose.

“How long has she been in there now?”

Bright Dawn looked at the clock on the wall, “About four minutes.”

“So one more minute.” Night began pacing back and forth again for the hundredth time that day. Celestia had been in there with Twilight for four minutes now. In one more, Celestia would leave the room, by choice or otherwise, yet again. “It’s not fair.”

“What’s that?”

“She's the parent, not me, why do I… Why do I have to be strong? Isn’t that her job?” Night began breaking down, crying her eyes out, yet again.

Dawn walked over and hugged his wife. Letting her tears fall onto his chest while he slowly ran a hoof up and down her back. “You told me once that an alicorn’s lifespan is enhanced, that alicorns like Princess Cadance would live a few lifespans past normal ponies. Ones like Luna and Celestia would live thousands of years. Moreover, that, your parents, Twilight and Rainbow, would have lifespans that put those to shame. How do you think they endure the knowledge that they would outlive all those they love? Everyone they care for will die, while they will not.”

Night’s crying intensified at that, “It's because they had each other.” She spoke the words between muffled sobs.

“So what must it be like for her now, Twilight has an eternity in front of her without the one she loved by her side. She has to face it all on her own now.”

Shimmering Night’s sobbing became full out bawling. She hated his logic; she hated the fact that she could not accept it. Mostly, she hated having to be the strong one. Rainbow might have been Twilight’s wife. However, she was also Night’s mom, with the loss of Dayspring, and the hospitalization of Aurora; she did not want to be the strong one anymore. For the first time in her life she did not have Twilight to tell her exactly what to do, Rainbow to just do it for her, Dayspring to lecture her on the proper way it could be done, or Aurora to convince her that she could do it on her own. It was unfair, just as unfair as this whole situation had been.

“Is she ok?”

Night and Dawn both turned to Celestia, whom had just appeared from Twilight’s room. “She will be fine princess, it’s just hard for her right now, ya know.”

“How... is... mom?” Night managed to ask the princess the question that was weighing so heavily on her mind.

Celestia sighed; once more, she had no good news to report. ”Four times have I spoken with Twilight Sparkle, four times she has said nothing. This marks the fifth time.” Celestia shook her head in utter defeat at the pair. “I've been alive for over a thousand years; I've seen the best and worst of what ponies are capable of. I had to banish my own sister because she threatened the world. But, I have never seen two ponies more in love, more devoted to each other than Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash were. Together, they would face eternity; now, now she is facing it alone.”

“Does that mean she has accepted mom’s death?”

Again, Celestia shook her head at Night’s comment. That one gesture broke Night’s heart.

“It’s been over a month.”

“I know dear one, but without a body, without proof, I don't know if she will ever believe, or ever be able to move on.”

“But, we haven't found any bodies, not even Dayspring’s…” Saying his name caused Shimmering Night to break down again. Bright Dawn squeezed her tightly in his hooves, lightly stroking her mane while he did so.

He looked up at Celestia and asked, “Did you try talking to her about it again?”

Once more, Celestia shook her head. When she had first brought up ‘that’ subject, it produced the only reaction she has yet received from Twilight. Twilight’s magic forcibly removed Celestia from the room as soon as the conversation went in that direction. In truth, Celestia did not believe that Twilight was even aware she did it. That thought scared her, she was ‘unsure’ exactly when it would be safe to discuss that with Twilight, however, it will need to happen, else the healing could never began. “I will try again next time…”

Night looked up with tears in her eyes. “What if she never accepts it? Celestia, what do we do?”

“Time young one, it is our only ally in this. The only thing we can do for Twilight right now is to give her that time; she has lost half her soul. Trying to reestablish who she is without Rainbow, it will be a long process for her. One in which the rest of us will have to stay supportive for.”

“Does she know about Dayspring?”

“No, I do not know what that information will do to her right now; I will tell her myself, when the time is right.”

.............................

Twilight’s Room

Twilight hated her bed. She hated it more than she had ever hated anything in her entire life. More than she hated Chrysalis. She considered it scientifically impossible to hate something more than she hated that damn bed. It was ALWAYS too soft, or too hard, or too hot, or too cold. She had disassembled and reassembled the molecules in the thing at least a thousand times now. She knew exactly how many atoms made up the bed, as she had removed each one by destroying and the recreating the bonds that held them together. Whatever was the cause, she had it narrowed down to the very last atom. As it stood, the bed was too damn soft and hot. Add one more atom and it was too damn hard and cold. The entire situation infuriated Twilight to no end. It should not be possible.

Intellectually, she knew the bed was fine. In truth, it was probably the most comfortable bed in all of Equestria, hell, maybe the world. Although quantifying that statement would be impossible, as Twilight did not have the research to back it up. At the very least, she could say it was the most comfortable bed in Ponyville. No, she could not say that, there was not a Ponyville anymore; the town was gone, Ponyville was gone… That hurt to think of. She went back to hating the bed. More precisely, she went back to hating the absence of something on the bed. Rainbow was not on the bed. She could not sleep without Rainbow’s wings wrapped around her… She hated that damn bed. It was nothing more than a tease of what she should be able to do.

……………………

Celestia had come and gone, again, what was that the fourth time now, the fifth? Twilight lost count. Celestia had come in, talked about some stuff and left. It was all she ever did, talk, and what made it worse, Celestia never had the information Twilight wanted… Twilight did not want to talk about anything like that, so she did not talk at all. She only wanted news about her wife, more accurately; when Rainbow would be back in her hooves, holding her, wrapping her wings around her, kissing her. Maybe then, Twilight could finally sleep.

She missed sleep; Twilight missed the comfort of being asleep. She had lost count of the days since sleep last took her. It was before the destruction of Ponyville, she remembered that much. Everything else, it was just one long blur. Her entire life since then has been one of hatred and pain. She laughed at the thought that everypony wondered why she kept them all away.

Her daughter, Shimmering Night, she was outside the door. Night was crying over not being able to see her. That hurt too, that was more pain that Twilight had to deal with. However, Night’s beliefs were mistaken, Twilight was not keeping the world away from her; she was keeping herself away from the world. Her magic was out of control. Subconsciously, she had disassembled and reassembled every single item in the room countless times. Had a pony the knowledge and wherewithal to look, they would have seen that not a single item had so much as a scratch on it. Every item was like new, better than new. Nopony could have designed anything to the level of perfection that these items now possessed.

That was why she only allowed Celestia to come visit once a week, for five minutes, tops. It was a supreme effort on her part to keep it under control for even that long. She only trusted Celestia to deal with it if it went bad. If she caused something to happen to her kids, if they came in and she lost control... She would never forgive herself. Such an occurrence would tip her over the edge; she would lose control. Then the real disaster would occur.

As it was, the stuff in her room seemed to take the full brunt of her out of control magic. It was happening around the clock, every hour of the day she would watch as items would deconstruct to their component parts and then reassemble themselves. It was scary, at first. Twilight grew accustomed to it. If anything, it was a lesson on how everything fit together. She now understood what every single item in the room consisted of, how it was assembled, and ways to improve upon them. Even in this situation, her mind still ran a mile a minute. She could not help but consider how to advance the technology in clocks, radios, and even bookcases. It was so simple that she could not believe nopony had thought of it before, or, for that matter, why she had not thought of it before.

She knew the answer of course; it was simplicity at its most basic. She was using all this crap to distract herself from that... that which was absent, from that which she missed more then anything. It was the real reason she did not focus on what the problem was. It was the reason she refused any sort of medical treatment for her broken legs. This distraction, her pain, it was all to prevent her from completely breaking down. If that happened, all of Canterlot would pay the price. Objects may be able to survive disassembly, but ponies could not. If she lost control, everypony in Canterlot would be at risk.

‘How long has it been’ She thought, ‘Weeks at least, Rainbow where are you? You pinkie promised never to leave me…’ She wanted to cry, but there were no tears. Not eating or drinking for a month will cause anypony to suffer the effects of dehydration. Had she been in a better state of mind she would have wondered how she was still alive…

Before she was aware of it, Celestia visited again, ‘Had it been another week already?’ Twilight knew it must have been. She cast that spell allowing one visitor for five minutes every week. If Celestia was back, a week had passed, that was sound logic. The premises where all true and the conclusion was true. She hated these visits, they took so much out of her to maintain control, however, it was the one concession she gave the rest of her friends and family. She could not be around them, not directly, so she continued to allow this.

“Twilight I need to….”

Celestia was talking again, but the words Twilight were waiting for never showed up. Only once had she heard Celestia say those two words, only once had she managed to get Twilight’s attention. However, the words that had come after those caused her to lose control. Maybe that is why Celestia never said them anymore?

“Rainbow Dash…”

“Wait, what about Rainbow.” Her voice was dry, barely a squeak from the lack of hydration for all this time.

“Despite our best efforts, there is still no sign of her body. Twilight, Rainbow Dash is dead.”

“Get out.”

“Twilight...”

There was no further discussion. Twilight picked up Celestia and threw her out of the room. She phased through the spell on the door and landed with a sickening crack on the other side. Celestia had broken something in the violent landing; however, at that moment, Twilight did not care.

“I would know if she was dead. Why would she say that?”

‘Why indeed.’

Twilight snapped her head back and forth around the room, she wanted to find the source of that thought, or more specifically, she wanted to make sure she was not losing her mind.

“Who said that?”

“…”

There was no reply, nothing in the room spoke, because, nothing in the room could speak. She would have known if another presence was here. She would have known if something had gotten in past her shield.

“So I am going crazy.” it was a logical conclusion.

“…”

Again, there was no reply; honestly, she was not surprised to be hearing things. How long had it been since she last slept? Since she last ate, or drank anything? Such things tended to be necessary to live, to be normal one had to do all those things, before now, she never would have believed she could go without them. However, after these last few weeks, that theory was wrong. Twilight did not know if it was due to being an Avatar, an alicorn, or the extra magic she had; but she was still alive, well, still living anyway. She could hardly call this being alive.

Twilight could not help it when her mind started to wonder, ‘this is the second time Celestia told me Rainbow passed on. That's impossible. I would know, I would feel it. Why would she keep saying that? Why would she lie to me?’

‘Why indeed.’ The thought kept playing through her head. She was roughly eighty-three percent certain it was not her own. However, the more she considered it, the more that percentage went down. ‘Why indeed, why would Celestia want to hurt me like that, why would she want to destroy my heart like that?’

‘Why indeed… maybe, maybe I did think that.’ The percentage dropped to about fifty-fifty now. ‘Why would she want to hurt me so? Why would she want to destroy my love?’

Over the next few days, she would ponder this question; she spent her time dealing with her confusion at the betrayal of Princess Celestia. ‘Why would she want to hurt me so?’ It started as a simple thought, in the same way as a tumor starts as a simple cell. In Twilight’s head, it found the perfect festering ground. Her analytical mind processed every possible scenario. Her confusion turned to betrayal, then to hate. However, Twilight was not one to jump the gun. She needed evidence. She needed to confirm if Celestia was actually lying to her first.

.................................

Outside Twilight’s room

“How long has it been?”

“Six weeks.”

Radiant Star pondered this. He hated that all this went down, that his cousins had suffered so much, worse yet, that they had suffered because of him. The attackers had used the Crystal Heart to bring that ‘thing’ into Equestria. They had used it to hurt his family. Regardless what his mom said, it was his fault. Had he done a better job in guarding it…

“I'm sorry.” He said it again for the umpteenth time since arriving in Canterlot.

“Prince, it is not your fault.” Dawn tried to be as comforting as he could. However, Radiant just glared at him for talking to his betters like that.

“You’re wrong. This is my fault. Had I done a better job at guarding the Crystal Heart, none of this would have happened. I will live with this for the rest of my life.” The look in his eyes ended that debate. He considered this his burden to bear and he would do so with what little honor he had left.

“And I'm sorry that I could not get here sooner, it took a while to find and secure the Crystal Heart. Afterwards, mom and I went to visit Aurora in Manehattan. mom stayed there, she couldn’t leave Aurora in such a state, she said she will visit as soon as she can.”

“How bad is Aurora?”

Radiant stared down at his hooves. Night could not recall the last time she had seen him so defeated, well except for when his dad passed on. “She woke up a week ago. Spike refuses to ever leave her side, much to the dismay of all the doctors and Rarity; he said something about his dragon code not allowing it. Ataxia actually stood up for him. She said it was noble of him to keep to his code.”

“Does she know… about Dayspring I mean?”

“She knows he's dead, no one has told her the rest though. It broke my heart to see her so sad. I don't know if she will ever be all right again, mentally I mean. Physically she's ok, although, she refuses any sort of cosmetic treatment for her scars.”

“What about her modeling?” Dawn asked; there was not a pony alive that had not seen her photos.

“She doesn't care. All she said on the matter was something about finally knowing what was truly important in life and having lost it.”

No further discussion came on the subject as they were interrupted by Princess Celestia being violently thrown out of Twilight’s room and slamming up against the wall opposite of the doors. From the sound she made at least one bone had broke on impact.

Night turned to Dawn. “Get a doctor!”

“Right, on it!” He took off, easily faster than any of the other ponies present.

Radiant ran to her side and attempted some minor healing, while not as skilled as a physician would be, he insured every soldier in the Crystal Empire had a basic level of first aid knowledge for combat, and as their leader, he would never issue an order that he did not also abide by.

“Celestia, what happened?” Night asked, concern for her friend and her mom was evident in her voice.

“I attempted to discuss Rainbow; Twilight was not yet ready though…” She grunted in pain as Radiant set the bone in her leg.

“Sorry, sorry.”

“It's ok; I thank you for your assistance.”

“Mom did this?” Shock was evident on Night’s face.

"Do not blame Twilight for this, in truth I didn't know if it was a good time or not, however, I approached the subject anyway. I saw her Night. For the first time since all this started Twilight spoke to me. I could see the mare she had once been. The one she might be again with our help." Despite the pain, Celestia was actually smiling.

“Are you going to try again?”

“I will need to approach it carefully, but I think, I might be able to reach her. I will try again next week.”

.............................

The next week…

Twilight found that having something to focus on seemed to calm her nerves. Her power was focused, and her mind was sharp. It had been several days since she last disassembled anything in the room. She had an objective, a task, a puzzle she needed to solve. ‘Why did Celestia want to hurt her like that, to destroy her love?’ When Celestia came by for her next visit, Twilight was ready.

As Celestia passed through the portal with a slight limp in her walk, Twilight smiled a little. She never actually wished Celestia any pain, but with the sort of anguish Celestia had caused her over the last week, Twilight did not stop herself from enjoying a little poetic justice.

“Hello Celestia.”

Celestia looked up in shock at Twilight, who was currently sitting up on the bed. Her voice had the fire and drive that she normally associated with the young alicorn. Somehow, It had none of the rasp in it that Celestia heard last time Twilight spoke to her.

“Twilight… Are you feeling better?”

“No. However, I finally have something else to focus on.”

“What would that be?”

“Celestia, I've spent the last few weeks listening to you speak. I think it's time for you to answer a few of my questions.”

A chill went down Celestia’s spine. This was a version of Twilight she had not seen in a long time. She knew that this self-imposed isolation was a bad idea. For seven weeks, Twilight had nopony to talk to, nopony to help her. She'd been stuck in this room with only her thoughts and wherever that lead her.

“Very well Twilight, what questions do you have for me?”

“What else happened? Why have I not felt the presence of Aurora or Dayspring for that matter.”

A lump built in Celestia’s throat. She did not want to tell Twilight that just yet. It had taken the mare seven weeks before she could even hold a conversation with Celestia, and now, now she was asking the inevitable. Celestia had to decide right now if the time was right to reveal all that had occurred. It was for Twilight’s sake that she made her decision.

“Spike took them to Manehattan Twilight. They were injured in the fight with the Titan, but they're recovering.”

Twilight spotted the lie instantly. Only she would have been able to see it. Celestia was good, one of the best at trying to hide something from others that she did not want them to know. However, Twilight had been her student for years. She trained under Celestia, fought by her side. She trusted Celestia... she had trusted Celestia.

“Celestia?”

“Yes Twilight.”

“Why did you just lie to me?”

The lump reformed in Celestia’s throat. She was busted and she knew it. Whatever trust Twilight held in her was gone. She had made her choice, the choice to protect Twilight, to try and spare her the pain of her son’s death, it was the wrong choice, she failed.

“Twilight, know that we all love you…”

“YOU DARE.”

Anger began to radiate off Twilight in waves, each one presenting as red magical energy coming off her in pulses. They caused Celestia physical pain each time one touched her.

“You talk to me about love. Tell me Celestia, whom have you ever loved? Whom have you ever felt any real emotion for? You banished your own sister to the moon… You know nothing about love.”

Celestia physically recoiled from the verbal assault. Every word Twilight spoke hurt worse then the waves of energy impacting against her.

“Your wrong Twilight. I love you. It hurts me more then you know to see you like this.”

“Get out.”

“Twilight I…”

“GET OUT!”

The waves of energy grew exponentially more powerful. The pain intensified against Celestia’s skin. To stay in the room was death, even for an alicorn.

With it has the only option left, Celestia fled for her life. She gambled and lost. Twilight would not trust her anymore. Whatever good will she still had with Twilight, it was spent.

Twilight raged at the obvious lie. Her power went wild with the anger she could no longer hold back, no longer control. A dam burst in her mind. The power took apart every object in the room. The dressers, the clock, the knickknacks, all of them were disintegrated at the molecular level. Finally, the bed went next.

Oddly, she missed the bed.

Twilight floated in mid-air. Power radiating off of her. She watched as the out of control energy destroyed everything. Twilight had no doubt that if the spell failed around the room. If that no longer protected everypony, she would destroy the entire castle, then, all of Canterlot.

The spell she cast isolated the room from the rest of the castle. Ensuring that nopony could teleport in or out of the room and that no magic power could pass through the walls. While this ensured her power would not destroy anything outside of her room. It did not protect the drywall on this side of the room. That was destroyed next, breaking down to their base atoms and dissolving.

Clank…

That noise got Twilight’s attention. It was unexpected to say the least. An object had fallen out of the walls. One that had been imbedded between two sheets of drywall. The sudden noise and unexpectedness of it cause her to stop. Albeit temporarily. She knew once her curiosity was satisfied it would start up again.

Twilight looked down at a golden crown inlaid with a black star stone in the shape of her cutie mark as its centerpiece. It was a bastardized representation of what her element of harmony looked like before she returned it to the tree. She instantly hated it.

‘Destroy it.’

She wanted to, she wanted to more than anything right that moment. However, that had been the second time she had heard that voice. Moreover, as much as she agreed with it, as much as the thoughts seemed like hers. She suspected... no, she knew they were not. Something was bucking with her. Something wanted her to destroy that crown. She was not new to this sort of thing. She would not give it what it wanted.

Twilight concentrated on herself for the first time in seven weeks. She used her considerable reserves of raw magic power and healed her broken legs. She then regenerated the atrophy in her muscles, rebuilding them atom-by-atom. For the first time in seven weeks, Twilight was able to stand.

Walking over to the crown, she did the exact opposite of what that voice told her to do. In pure spite of, whomever, was trying to pull her strings she did the exact opposite. She did what Rainbow would have done. Twilight picked up the crown and put it on.

Seconds afterwards, a horrible truth was revealed to her. Twilight knew not how she had failed to see the signs. It should have been impossible, however, that was true about much in Twilight’s life. When this truth finally clicked, she could not help but see the lines connecting everything. She knew for one hundred percent certainty that it was the truth.

Only one creature fed on love. With this realization, all the others dots fell into place.

She knew why Celestia wanted to destroy her love…

She knew why Celestia kept trying to tell her Dash was dead…

She knew why Celestia had just lied to her…

She knew why Celestia had wanted to redirect her love to others, to herself…

Celestia, was a Changeling. She wanted Twilight’s love for herself. As there was no stronger source of food for them. There was no telling just how many ponies were already replaced by them or were directly working for them.

It should have been impossible, however, so were a lot of things. Another hive must have survived the cataclysm from forty years ago. They were using the Titan attack as an opportunity to make their move. Only Twilight knew, only she could stop them.

Twilight screamed at the top of her lungs as the magic of the crown surround her with dark energy. She welcomed this, in terms of pure power it was next to nothing compared to what she normally had. However, dark energy could amplify a pony’s magic. She would be several times more dangerous than ever before. Twilight could even control other beings of shadow with this increase. Using this power, Twilight WOULD find Rainbow. She WOULD defeat this new threat. Twilight would have her family back. Then they would be happy again, forever.

Author's Note:

First chapter after a week's break.

What did I learn: While it is bad to force yourself to write when you are not in the mood. it is just as bad to force yourself to NOT write when you are in the mood.

I have no plains to do something like that again, if I need a break I will take it. No more forced breaks.

Well enough about my fubar plans
Let me know what you thought in the comments below.

Thanks goes to Electrostatic for help editing.

Hope to have the next chapter out by Wen.