Wisdom of Mortals
Ruins of Ponyville
Shimmering Night did not hear their conversation. In front of her were the three Gods responsible for the creation and maintenance of the Universe. Her friends were asking her husband something. It was something important based on the tone of the conversation, but she was far too engrossed in her parents. Or more precisely, she was focused on the fact Twilight was laying on the ground, unmoving, and that Rainbow’s head was buried into Twilight’s chest. Rainbow looked comatose lying like that. Never in her life had Night seen Rainbow that defeated, that broken. As such, Night did not pay attention to what the others were saying.
As Shimmering Night slowly walked over to her parents, the others wanted an explanation from Bright Dawn. “Care to explain that comment?” Cadance asked him.
“You said it’s my choice, that regardless what else you cannot simply take it from me?” Dawn turned to Gaia for confirmation. The golden filly simply nodded at that.
“I don’t know how she died, what happened here, or who those three are; but if it’s my choice. The answer is no. I won't take any part in Twilight Sparkle being brought back to life.”
Cadance and Ataxia’s jaw dropped. “But why? What could you possibly have against Twilight?” Cadance asked.
“You two don’t understand, you can’t see the big picture, all the harm she's done. All of this, it’s all her fault.”
Ataxia’s frustration and confusion turned to anger. She reared up on her back legs and picked up Bright Dawn in a magic bubble. Rage overtook her; dragon fire began building up in her chest. “I’m going to roast you alive if you say something like that again about Twilight.” Ataxia growled to the pegasus.
“Ataxia, stop! It will do no good. If you kill him it solves nothing!”
Bright Dawn stared at the odd creature in front of him. “Ataxia?” He could not believe that this was the same pony from Ponyville. That this creature was Rarity’s daughter, it was unreal.
“Cadance, didn't you hear what he said about Twilight? I won't stand for it.”
“I heard what he said, but violence will not change his mind. Besides, regardless how painful it might be to listen to, I want to know why he feels that way.”
Ataxia was, frankly, reluctant to put him down. Every fiber of her being wanted to fry this pegasus alive for what he said, but Cadance was right. Hurting him will not change his mind, killing him would be the same as killing Twilight. The very thing she was trying to reverse. While Ataxia and logic had never been on speaking terms before, as they always kept at least fifty hooves away from each other on principle alone, but for this one time, she submitted to its wisdom. Ataxia let Bright Dawn go with a warning. “If you run, I will spend the rest of my life hunting you down.”
Bright Dawn collapsed in the dirt. Unsure what happened to Ataxia or how much power she now possessed, but knowing that he would live longer if he could avoid her bad side. However, this was his chance. He had a Princess of Equestria and Ataxia forced to listen to him. He could finally reveal the horrors he had seen over the past few weeks. Of the real monster Twilight was. Maybe, just maybe, he could convince the others of the harm she had done to Equestria.
“Let me began with the horrors that you all called Twilight Night.”
Ataxia paced back and forth as Bright Dawn began speaking. She was forced to listen to this little shit badmouth Twilight and connect imaginary dots that painted Twilight in the worst light imaginable. His logic was stupid; his face was stupid. She wanted to rearrange it, for his benefit.
“You see, even if you buy that Twilight Night was not Twilight. It was still her actions that caused that creature to be born. Twilight closed herself off to everything around her, causing her to succumb to the creature. So yes, she is responsible for every death that creature caused and what happened to me.”
“The Titans on the other hoof, that was all her.”
Cadance drew on all her composure to stay calm. She sat there and listened to every word that Bright Dawn said. Never in a million years did she imagine that anypony could really feel this way about Twilight, not even Tsunami had been this bad. Cadance knew Twilight Sparkle for longer than any pony alive right now: She was a little socially awkward. Did not understand certain norms of society, but this was downright hatred. Dawn hated her, and he connected all these dots after the fact. He seemed to take no regard for their context or external circumstances. It was unreal to listen to.
“The coming of the Titans was all due to the actions Twilight took forty years ago. Her arrogance in trying to save Rainbow, it caused them to take notice of us. That's the reason why they came, that's the reason why the Titans attacked Equestria and almost every pony was forced to leave their homes. She's the one responsible for everything.” He paused to take a large breath. “Don’t you see? It's all been her. Not only should she not be brought back. We should be happy she is gone.”
“Shut the buck up.”
Ataxia stared at Cadance wide eyed. Ataxia was a few seconds away from stopping this little shit from going on, but the fact that Cadance lost her cool first? That was very unexpected. Cadance seemed to be on the edge of attacking. Her magic increased around her, rage building throughout her body. “You filthy little shit. What gives you the right to say those things? Who do you think you are?”
Cadance took a step towards the pegasus, who in turn took a step back. Even being held in Ataxia’s grip and facing the prospect of getting roasted alive was not this scary. This reminded him of his time under the care of the Shadowbeings. Although, if he was being honest with himself, this was a lot worse. A pissed-off alicorn was the most intimidating threat he ever knew.
Ataxia found herself in the oddest position in the world. She flew in front of Cadance and held her back from killing Bright Dawn. “Cadance, remember what you said. Violence is not the answer; it will not bring Twilight back. “
Power radiated off Cadance, several strands of which sought out the pegasus’s body, looking to cause whatever damage they could. Ataxia was forced to cut off those strands before they could reach the stallion.
“It might make me feel better.” Cadance grunted in reply.
“It won’t. It'll make you feel worse and you know it.”
That caused her to stop. Cadance’s rage left her; she knew Ataxia was right. Under any other circumstances, she would have made the same argument. With that knowledge the will to cause such harm against another left her. She could no longer bring herself to harm him, even if a part of her still really wanted to.
“Don’t you see? I do this for the good of Equestria.”
Ataxia opened her mouth and shot at him with a long burst of dragon fire. Her aim was true and it would have killed him were it not for Cadance grabbing her by the back of her neck and directing her head straight up at the last possible second.
After a few minutes, Ataxia’s flame was spent. Cadance stared at the stallion. “You really, really need to reconsider. This action will haunt you for the rest of your life. Everywhere you go in Equestria you will be hated and scorned. This entire continent knows of Twilight and all the good she has done. If you do this, there will be nowhere you can go.”
Gaia, Eros, and Chaos all watch quietly. While they had their own opinions on the subject, they silently agreed to keep them between the three. This was a mortal issue; mortals would solve it. That was as it should be. Although, Gaia could not help but notice something slightly off about the young stallion.
“It doesn’t matter to me if I’m liked for this or not, if everypony hates me or not. I'll carry this burden, as none of the rest of you seem able. I'll do this for the good of Equestria, even if they don’t see it that way. I will do this for my wife, so she can live a future free of her mom’s destructive influence.”
Bright Dawn took wing and landed next to Shimmering Night. “Everything I do, it’s because of my love for her. That's what matters to me. I don’t care what you all think; this is what’s best for all of Equestria and my wife. As such, this is what I will do. I will not bring the monster Twilight Sparkle back.”
……………
Shimmering Night stood watching her mom; to see a mare that was once so proud, so full of life look so defeated. It was heartbreaking. Rainbow lay crying into Twilight’s body. It took Night a minute to process that something was even wrong with Twilight. She looked fine; there was not a thing wrong with Twilight that Night could see. It was only when she got closer that Shimmering Night saw it. Twilight was not breathing.
Understanding crossed Night’s face: She knew why Rainbow looked the way she did, she knew why her mom was not moving from that spot. She wanted to join Rainbow, Shimmering Night wanted to curl up next to Rainbow and cry. It was too painful, the impossible made manifest. Whatever happened here, she didn’t bucking care. Twilight was dead. Whatever they won, it was not worth the cost. Not to her and not to Rainbow.
Any further movement forward was prevented when Bright Dawn landed next to her. She had not been paying attention to anything that they had said. Far too lost in her own world, too lost in her mom’s death to care what the others said. However, despite the haze she was under. One phrase did make it past all of that. “This is what’s best for all of Equestria and my wife. As such, this is what I will do. I will not bring the monster Twilight Sparkle back.”
Night did not know the context of what was said, or what line of questioning led to that. She did not bucking care either. Somehow, he had the ability to bring Twilight back and he would not. That is all she needed to know.
“What’s best for me?” She asked.
Bright Dawn smiled at his wife. “Her being gone. It’s best for all of us, dear.”
“So, if I understand you correctly. My mother being dead is best for me, for all of Equestria?”
“Yes.” The certainty in his tone was like daggers in Night’s heart.
She released a magical force that pushed Bright Dawn several hooves away from her. He landed badly on his hind legs, Twisting one of them in the process. “How dare you.” Shimmering Night did not shout, she did not need to.
“My mother, the protector of Equestria. Twilight Sparkle who became a princess by her own actions, one of the kindest, loyalist, generous, honest, and funniest mares in all of Equestria. The Mare that gave birth to me, the one that convinced Rainbow to even let us marry. Her death is what is best for Equestria? How dare you believe you are even worthy to make that call.”
“It’s… It’s... It’s because I love you, I cannot see us living for long if sh…”
“You love me? You use your love of me as an excuse to do something this awful?” Tears were flowing from her eyes.
Eros grunted in pain as she felt the connections of their love being shattered in front of her. Only one thing could shatter those connections --beyond the sickle-- true betrayal of the heart. That could only mean one thing, their love had just died.
“Night, this is for you, for us. Please see that.”
"This… this… this is not for me, don’t you dare say something like that. Don’t you ever put that on me, if this is what love means to you. I… I…” Shimmering Night seemed unable to finish that sentence.
“Night, please, I love you.”
“I don’t love you.” There was a finality to her words that left no doubt that she meant it. This was not a fight; this was not something she would forgive. Her love for him was dead. It would not come back.
“But… But…”
“No buts! Make your choice; but know if what you told me all these years was ever true. If you ever loved me, if you ever felt anything for me, you will save my mom. You will save her for me, it is all you can do to make that up to me.” A pool of tears was forming under Night’s face as she spoke those words.
Bright Dawn began crying as well. All of this was for his wife. It was all for Night. There was no reason to make this stand if it would cost him her. She was the one thing he was not willing to lose, regardless of what that would mean. “Fine, I’ll do it.” Dejection was evident in his voice. It was the last thing he wanted to do, but what was the point of standing for your principles if it would cost you everything you loved?
The three Gods teleported around the stallion, and as one they focused their considerable magical energy on him. Bright Dawn lifted in the air as the light of creation surrounded him. His own soul became visible around his body. Cadance could see it, as well as the sliver they were looking for. In his energy a sliver of purple existed, one so small, yet she knew what it represented. It was the piece of Twilight that she put into the stallion. The only piece of her left in this Universe.
The Gods grabbed ahold of the sliver and slowly pulled it free of the rest. Bright Dawn’s cry of pain was testament to the pain of having a piece of your soul separated from the rest. Its owner did not give this; as such, it was not painless. It was a mark of her character that for those few seconds. Cadance actually felt sorry for the stallion. The gods put him on the ground before releasing him. He collapsed in a heap. The pain was too intense to try and stand.
Rainbow was completely unaware of everything around her. She held Twilight in her wing. Crying into her wife’s chest, as despite her best attempts to stop it, Twilight’s body was getting colder. It was too much for the mare; she couldn’t concentrate on anything else. As such, Rainbow did not notice when a golden light, one that spread into every cell of Twilight’s body surrounded the two of them. The Gods completed the ritual by reinserting the sliver of Twilight’s soul back into her corpse.
Bright Dawn was able to move again after a few seconds. While the pain was intense, it faded just as quickly as it came. Before long he was able to stand again. Looking at his wife he spoke. “I… I did it for you.”
Shimmering Night walked over and kissed him. It had none of the passion and drive he knew from the mare. Instantly he knew what it represented. This was her way of saying goodbye. “I know, thank you for that. Now leave me and my family alone, forever.” There were no tears in her eyes when she said that.
“But… but I love you.”
“I know you do, but I don't love you. I hate you. I will always hate you for thinking what you did, for saying what you said. If I see you again I cannot promise what I will do. Now leave before we find out just what that is.” It wasn’t the words that broke Dawn’s heart. It was the anger in her eyes that did it. Bright Dawn always believed that the true feelings of a pony could be read in their eyes. Right now, Shimmering Night’s eyes only had one feeling written in them: Hate.
Bright Dawn glanced around, looking for somepony, anypony to convince her otherwise. Somepony to take his side; the realization dawned on the stallion. Nopony believed him, nopony liked him, and nopony would come to his side. He was truly on his own.
With tears in his eyes, Dawn took off into the sky. The direction he went did not matter to the stallion, as long as it was away from here, as long as it was away from the hate filled eyes of the mare he so loved.
Before any words could be said, before Night could even process the events that took place. Every set of eyes turned to a voice that had not spoken in quite some time.
“Twilight?”
Rainbow was staring at her wife. She had just heard the impossible, and after triple checking it several dozen times, she knew for a fact it was not an illusion. She just heard Twilight’s heartbeat. One hundred and thirty-seven times now to be exact. Rainbow was counting every single one of them.
“I think it's time for us to take our leave from this world.” Gaia spoke to the rest.
“What? Why?” Discord replied; he did not like that idea one bit.
“Brother, we have been breaking our own rules for far too long. Our actions are what caused all of this. We vowed never to directly interfere with the lives of mortals yet we let you play your games by ‘indirectly’ interfering with them. Sister, we even let you live amongst them. But look around. Look at all the damage that's been caused because of all of this. We can no longer pretend that our indirect actions are not causing pain, that they are not disrupting the order of life. It is time for us to depart and you know it.”
Eros looked longingly at Cadance, she did not want to leave her Avatar, not like this. It felt wrong to the God of Love. So much was still unresolved, she wanted to see and experience what would happen next. She did not want to leave.
“She’s right, Eros.”
“Chaos?” That was unexpected, both Gaia and Eros looked at their brother.
“I hate to say it, I hate to admit it, but you're right, Gaia. As much fun as it's been, we cannot continue as is. Tartarus is dead, Eros. He would have killed us all, all because we were not ready, because we were in our Avatars.”
Eros couldn’t fight against that, if Chaos agreed with Gaia, how could she disagree? It was unexpected and a little heartbreaking, but she knew they were right. It had gone to far.
The three Gods assembled before the mortals present; again it was Gaia who spoke for them all. “I speak for all of us when I say, we're sorry. We'll leave you all now, there will not be anymore interference, direct or otherwise, by us.”
“No.”
Every set of eyes turned to the mare that spoke. Rainbow sit up, her hoof on Twilight chest to ensure that she would stay alive, that her heart would not suddenly stop just because she stopped listening.
“You don’t get to do that, you created these Avatars so you could learn what it's like to live a mortal’s life, to experience things as a mortal. Well guess bucking what, this is part of being a mortal. Bad things happen, horrible things happen. We don’t just get to leave. We don’t get to pack it in just because things went bad. We have to stick it out. We have to deal with the consequences of our actions. You don’t get off that easily. If you never want to create another, that’s on you, but don’t you dare try and take the easy way out of this. We don’t have the ability to ignore the consequences of our actions, so neither should you.”
The conviction in Rainbow’s voice spoke volumes to the Gods. Gaia actually started laughing at that. It was such a simplistic answer, but she couldn’t find any fault with Rainbow’s logic. ‘The wisdom of mortals.’ She thought.
A nod from the other two confirmed that her brother and sister agreed with Rainbow's logic.
“Very well.” In a flash, all three Gods returned to their Avatars.
…………………
The Edge of Night River
The waters of Equestria’s newest river pushed a stone towards the edge. This was in no way a unique event. Indeed, several million rocks would make this journey every single day. However, this was slightly different. The rock hit the rapids at just the right angle to cause it to tumble into a peninsula. Be it from happenstance, coincidence, or a dark design the rock washed up next to a unicorn’s body. It was a corpse that many ponies spent the last several weeks looking for.
This rock was special, different from all the other rocks, as it was in the shape of a six-pointed star with a dark core in the center.
While it should have simply washed back out into the river, it didn’t. The rock latched onto the corpse and transferred its remaining energy. Dark magic overtook a body that spent the last few months decaying. The corpse's eyes shot open and a toothless grin overtook its face.
…………………………
The Crystal Palace
Later that night
Beep… Beep… Beep….
“Hello?”
Beep… Beep… Beep…
“Hello?”
“Hey there.”
She slowly opened her eyes, glad that someone answered her, and that there was some noise other than that obsessive beeping. However, she was unsure who was speaking.
“Where am I?”
A cyan mare with a rainbow mane walked up from the seats on the side of the room. Her wings were the most brilliant gold that she could ever remember seeing.
The mare spoke to her, a soothing voice that had an edge of cockiness to it. “You’re at the hospital. There was an accident.”
“Who am I?”
The mare seemed taken aback by that, like the question hurt her to hear it. “I’m sorry, was the that the wrong question to ask?”
The cyan mare seemed to be on the edge of tears. “No, that was the right question to ask. I want you to ask as many questions as you can. Please never stop asking them.” The mare wiped a tear from her eye. “Your name is Twilight Sparkle. You're the daughter of Twilight Velvet and Night Light. Both of which have already passed on.”
“I don’t remember them.”
“I figured; it’s ok that you don’t. I'll help you remember them. I'll help you with everything from now on.”
“Is there a lot of ponies that I forgot?”
“A lifetimes worth, but we will take it slowly, as you're ready. For now, just worry about you. We'll deal with the rest together.”
“May I ask two more questions?”
“Always.”
“Who are you, and why are you helping me?”
“My name is Rainbow Dash. I’m your best friend in the world.”
“Friend? I like that word.”
“You know Twi, so do I.”
“Twi?”
“Sorry, it’s my nickname for you. I can stop if you want me to.”
“I like it, please don’t.”
“Ok, I wont.”
“Will you get me some water? I’m kind of thirsty.”
“Sure Twi, I’ll be right back.”
Rainbow turned and went to leave Twilight’s room. Before she opened the door Twilight added. “Please hurry back, I have more questions.”
“Of course.”
Rainbow opened the door and walked outside the room. Despite herself, as soon as the door shut behind her she broke down in tears. Rainbow knew from experience that the doors were soundproof so she was not worried about Twi hearing her outside.
Cadance walked up at that moment. “Rainbow what’s wrong? Is she awake?”
Between her sobs Rainbow managed to answer her question. “She’s awake, she doesn’t remember me, herself, or anything else. It’s her, but it’s not her. I... I did what you told me, I didn’t drop too much on her all at once, I didn’t try and remind her of everything she was to me, or I to her. I told her she was just my friend. I didn’t want too, but I did.”
Cadance picked up the mare and hugged her tightly. “I know it was hard Rainbow but it’s for the best. Had you tried to force your relationship back to where it was, you would have only pushed her away.”
Cadance held the mare tightly in her hooves as she cried into her mane. After a few minutes the tears ceased. Cadance placed her back on the ground to see the oddest expression appear on Rainbow’s face.
“Rainbow, why are you smiling?”
“Cause I just realized something.”
“What’s that?”
“We get to fall in love all over again.”
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You were able to wrap up this story, introduce the next threat and allow for this to continue as a trilogy. The reason was not forced and well within the possibility of still being real. Sometimes, great authors can make readers forget that they are reading this and get engrossed into the story, not worrying about what they are truely reading and you have done that. Incomplete stories I will favor if they interest me. Incomplete I will like if I am enjoying the story. Most of the time I do not like until the end, but your story was so well written that I liked before the end. I know that I wil not regret the like. You did a fantastic job with this story. Keep up the good work. I am always happy when I find a chapter to this story since a couple I am enjoying are sometimes as slow as mossase in updating.
I'll start out by saying that I derped when I saw the notification come across my dash and clicked the epilogue instead of the last chapter.
But I will say that (prepare for caps lock) BRIGHT DAWN YOU GOT WHAT YOU BUCKING DESERVED. I loved how you ended it with Night's rejection of him. And you have a point; he hated her and didn't realize it until he had all this ammunition to use against her. And I'm grinning like an idiot because I just love how you still came up with a way to bring Twi back. I don't want to know what Equestria would do without its wonderfully adorkable princess. 
Now, I'm gonna go drop a comment on the next chapter to avoid spoilers 
OMG I CANT SEEM TO STOP CRYING!!!!! I still don't know if it's happy or sad tears yet
It pains me so much to think about a horrible scenario that could happen. Since twi dosen't remember anything she could feel differently towards rainbows and not love her anymore like the old twi did. BUT I PRAY TO THE HEAVENS THAT IM HORRIBLY WRONG
And I see foreshadowing in this chapter for another sequel
At the of chapter 23 when Bright Dawn said "no" I just knew at some point Shimmering Night was going to get very pissed at him and so would everyone else.
This is the most well written fanfiction I have ever read and I love this story please make a sequel!!!
4427707 both for me, my mind is confused.
And so the second chapter of Twidashforever's opus comes to an end.
I love it. I knew there would be a Lich involved.
It's slightly saddening, bit at the same time I am eager to see what happens from here!
You made the damn "convection/conviction" error again.
not good, Mr. There are a few more errors I saw, but I'll cover those later/next comment.
First off, to quote Crystal Bombshell:
Now, you may be correct in saying that Twilight Night was her own choice (because even in grief she was lucid enough to be able to decide for herself if she wanted to aid of the dark tiara); however, that does NOT give you leeway to automatically say that "Twilight is bad pony" based on two decisions. Hell, the first point that started this entire trilogy+one-shot story was caused by Chrysalis, not Twilight (yes, killing The Reaper was a bit much, but Chrysalis was the catalyst for everything), and Twilight had long since atoned and been forgiven for what happened there. Furthermore, so what if she DID cause all that stuff forty years ago? You weren't even around then, so you don't truly know what happened unlike 4 of the people there (Cadance, RD, Twi, and Eros). Twilight made a mistake, but it was not a malicious mistake. And without proof that Twilight killed The Reaper out of malice and not simply out of a desire to keep her soon-to-be special somepony alive, this point falls flat. And you don't have that proof, so that's one down.
Now, I can't argue that Twilight isn't at fault for Twilight NIght as grief does NOT excuse her for what she did (killing Celestia and those guards because she thought they were all changelings without questioning why) and didn't do (actually realize what Celestia was trying to do, not getting super-angry simply because the facts go against what you think), so I won't bother with that anymore. However, that brings me back to the start of this: You're basing your entire argument on two points. Two admittedly world-changing points, but still only two points. And somehow, everything ELSE Twi's done before killing the Reaper and everything in the forty hears between TiM and BoI doesn't count for shit because Twi introduced all our evils in this story, waaaah! Bleck.
That's the kind of argument that makes me sick and angry, and should never be entertained by the other parties (other than as a joke). So good on you, Night, for running him off.
Tl;dr? This:
This is the only good argument you have, and admittedly a very correct one.
THIS, on the other hand?
Is not.
...Granted, with that small bit of a teaser for the sequel I wonder if the newly-risen pony will get Dawn under his influence and use him against them, but unless he boosts his power I'm sure they can handle him. Regardless of whether or not that happens, if Bright Dawn ever shows up again he needs to assess his thoughts and look at things without his emotions clouding his judgment. If he can argue at a later point that Twilight should've been kept dead and argue it PROPERLY that time, then I can let him off a little. Till then, so long and good riddance.
Speaking of the--waiiiiit, that's not Dayspring, is it? Please tell me that's not Dayspring.
Wait, no, it's a unicorn that's been searched for for weeks, not dead. But I just can't recall who it is.
Finally, we knew that this would happen to Twilight. It was expected. That doesn't make it any less saddening (and on some level, disappointing), that she doesn't remember anything. Why disappointing? Because I did want her to at least remember SOMETHING without having it be brought to her. I understand why she would've been left unable to remember, but 95% amnesia is better than as-close-to-100%-as-possible amnesia.
Oh, and good on the gods for not just absconding cuz things went south.
anyways, errors!
These commas are completely unnecessary. If it was "Ataxia was, frankly, reluctant to put him down" THEN they'd be required, but since it's not, they aren't.
Completely unrelated to errors, but since he did run (even if at Night's command), is she gonna keep this promise?
...Wait, what?
Okay, I thought I had a handle on his argument, but now that I'm going through it with a finer comb I see more bullshit.
You really want to sell the argument that Twilight brought this all on herself from arrogance to TWO (technically three, but RD was dead at the time and isn't listening now; or I suppose only one if Eros wasn't able to know about that at the time, but I assume she could) people who personally witnessed what happened to TWilight (not necessarily the "kill the Reaper" part, as the only other witness was killed, but Cadance and Eros saw enough)? And know for a fact that the Titan's had absolutely NOTHING to do with what Twilight did 40 years ago? Really?
You should be thankful that Night only let you off with the threat of a punishment of unknown severity. I would've let Ataxia roast you just for how terrible your argument is, Twilight Night or not.
*deep breath* hoo...okay, back to errorwatch.
doesn't need to be capitalized. Also, I think "pissed-off" is the proper phrase when it's being used as an adjective. ("she is pissed off" compared to "the pissed-off girl)
Period is unnecessary. That should be one entire sentence instead of two.
(and just to be clear, there shouldn't be a punctuation mark where the period is, period).
Hypocrite.
You don't get to claim Twilight brought all of this on herself through arrogance and then arrogantly claim you can shoulder every piece of shit that WILL have come your way if you hadn't revived her. You can't handle that burden, and if you're going to seriously think that then you have no room to complain about Twilight.
Period needs to be a comma. That, or change the sentence to "one of the legs twisted in the process."
Period should be a colon. Refer back to when my comment regarding the "only one emotion Luna has: rage" thing.
As an addendum to the above, that comma at the start of this quote (bolded for easier viewing) needs to be a period, and the second comma after "thing" needs to be a colon.
Either put an "and" after the comma, or change the comma to a period.
Missing a quotation mark at the beginning.
*sigh* AGAIN, colon, not a comma. And yes, I'm going to get annoyed with you about it because I have told you why it's supposed to be a colon and I'm sure you've read it and you haven't. Stopped. Doing it.
Either put "and" or "as" after the comma, or change it to a period.
Second comma needs to be after "othwerwise", not "direct"
CONVICTION NOT CONVECTION ALLJDKLFJAKLDJFKLAJDLKF
Comma after "Indeed"
Comma needs to be a period.
see above, or add an "and"
you're
Ellipse (...), not a single period.
4433258
corrections made
You figure i would just stop using conviction…
Dawn's Arguments are BS. you will see why he made them in the next chapter though.
He also never considered that if Twi had not done what she did Shimmering Night would not be around.
Yes that is Dayspring body. it was his rotting corpse that washed up. (Luna and Celestia spent weeks looking for Rainbow and his corpse.)
So, my suspicions were confirmed twice, just not the way I thought they would be, but the end result was the same on both cases. I must say it takes quite a writer to take my interest and keep me coming back to get more and you have done it. I will not deny that throughout both TiM and BoI more than once did my imagination get the better of me and expect the worst; kudos to you. I must give you my praise, for a story to evoke such deep emotion takes true skill of the pen, Which you have!
Great story and how you wrapped it up in the end was really good! I hope that in the future you make more stories! If I say so my self, this is probaby the best story on Fimfiction.
Your stories are wonderful. They are both amazing and unique going into greek legend and myths which was the thing that peaked my interest in the first one.I say keep writing, you have a talent for it.
never saw this coming
It's about damn time I find a series of booksnthat I wanna read again. I haven't felt this way for years
NO! I'VE ALREADY READ ONE BOOK WHERE TWI LOST HER MEMORIES AND DIED TRYING TO GET THEM BACK. THEN RAINBOW KILLED HERSELF. DONT DO THIS, PLEASE.
I approve of the ending. And approve of the length of this chapters and the book. I approve of the pacing, too. I approve of the amount of epic contained within these bindings. And you can damn well bet i approve of a sequel, and of all the subsequent sequels. The only thing better then a really good LONG story, is a series of really good LONG stories.
Well, *pulls back pistol slide* fuck that shit, I'm out. *gunshot*
I..... these are DARK. Even this ending is.... woh.... I both HATE and LOVE these stories. I can't put them down! Time to go proof read another one of your stories and then back to the TiM series!
okay.
Okay. So, I sorta had a love/hate relationship with this fic. I remember when I read this the first time, just after this was finished like year or years ago I absolutely loved it, but now...
There were moments that I loved so much, but there were moments that made me cringe. The main cringe reason was the villain logic here. With Twilight the corruption process was understandable and somewhat realistic.
Bright Dawn. Don't even get me started on him. He just turned into some mindless plot device in the last stretch. I admit I didn't spend hours pondering on his intents and possible reasoning for his hate against Twilight. In the beginning the only reason why he even got to marry Shimmering Night was because of Twilight, heck, the only reason Rainbow didn't KILL Dawn was because of Twilight. So, the most important thing to Dawn is Night and he hates Twilight because she endangers their relationship, while she actually helped them in their relationship.
Another problem was that this fic was some 100000 words long and you only described the characters once. Especially with OC's in a story this long you need to try and slip some of their details into the dialogue of your narrator. Cutie marks are especially important since they represent the pony so much. While I thought about Dawn's reasoning for the excessive Twilight hate I couldn't remember his Cutie mark at all.
As I will be moving forward in the TiM universe, I'll try to catch obvious errors like typos and grammatical mistakes and write them down for you.
Please remember that while I mostly listed negative things, there were a lot of positives too, easily enough to earn this story an upvote.
Incase you didn't realize it yet, you should take everything I say about the characters with a grain of salt since they are just my own opinions.
/endrant
or.
OK, i regret my decission that came out a few chapters back, about the best line ever. But THIS one - certainly is!
I'm Late... Reading these things I am late. But that proves the story right? These stories... the impact they have on someone. Just because I am late doesn't mean that I didn't feel them. Every tear shed by a character, every drop of blood spilled in the name of vengeance, justice or hate and especially every heart beat shattered by action one could not hope to control. You want to know what I think? Well here:
You wrote a story, simple true, but powerful nonetheless. You spun a tale so full of emotion that I dare say the gods of this world would cry just from reading it. I'll take the title, "Wisdom of Mortals" as saying the least. You showed me a new way to look at life, a new way to look at everything. All these characters, all these.... everything here... All of it just feels so real. Thank you, that's my final thought, thank you for making this... I know it's hard for you to write these things... to put yourself into these characters just to feel what they would. So thank you for, trying, and succeeding in making the most beautiful story I've ever read.
OK so I saw the whole Dawn thing from a mile away. And I knew that Twi would be revived. There was a conversation I had with my friend about thesetting first two installments of this series. When I recommended it to him and he read ithe I asked him what he thought. He said that while it was an awesome story and concept there was no real tension. I was blown away at that. So I asked him how he could think there wasn't any real tension. He said that it was obvious that everything would work out and so there wasn't any tension for him. So now I tell yall what I told him. I love this story. It has some awesome moments, some dark moments, and some downright heartbreaking moments, but through it all there was tension. Not in the sense of 'are they going to pull it off?' But in the sense of 'how are they going to pull it off?' And the fact that you manage to take cliche's and make them your own is awesome.
Personally I loved this story thus far. A few spelling and possibly grammar errors here and there. But that didn't stop this from being the most enjoyable story I've read in a long time. Thank you :3
Right... so, as I started reading this story, I thought, "Wow, this started right out with the epic!" I mean, Twilight going ballistic as she did, and the immediate ramifications and all. As the story progressed, the "epic" was doubled. Then tripled. And it did not stop. I did feel the little "one off" with Ataxia wasn't really necessary as it didn't really add to the "plot" (pun intended), and never really seemed to amount to anything. Other than that, well done, good sir! :)
4433432 ok first: I have to say that this was very interesting and very intriguing, though there are a lot of spelling mistakes, within this story alone, that will have to be fixed while being re-read as I am not going to point them out as that will take more time that I could put into reading the rest of this story and the next.
Second: this has been an emotional ride, and someone that has hypomania as well as depression, the rapid mood swings do have an external effect on the emotions of the human brain and can still happen even after the events of what has happened.
Third: what a way to end the actual story line itself, even though there is still an epilogue to go through, this was a fantastic way to Finnish this, though having as many emotional bumps with some people it can do some external damage if not properly exerted.
Fourth: what a way to get some revenge on Bright Dawn as I figured he'd be an absolute cunt, also great work on commander Tsunami he deserved every last thing he got, even the way he died, as a mark of true honour I give him a solute.
Fitch: as of so far I give each one of the TiM stories I have read a thumbs up and a fav as this series is great and I am waiting to get to the next chapter.
Twidashforever for every fav, like and comment you get on these stories, you deserve each and everyone of them. As these stories are great if you have any personal questions just personal message me and I will get back to you once I'm not busy.
You know I found this series by accident and have been binge reading it! It's fucking awesome!
Spoiler tag in case I am right. Only commenting because of the author's note. Having the night use the corpse of Twilight and Rainbow's son is a bit much. Hope I am wrong but don't know what else it could be.