Extra Equestrial Mayhem

by kudzuhaiku

Chapter 13

“Bad news everypony.” Doctor Broadneck said. “Celestia has put her hoof down. She wants the foals out of the lab and moved to a remote location. She desires societal integration!” The doctor said with panic in his voice. “And after we spent our coffee bits remodeling the room.” He sighed, sad, a singular sound.

Buttermilk scowled. “What about our jobs?”

“Yeah…” Rhubarb said. “Our jobs.” A sad look was upon her face.

“Oh, we are keeping our jobs. We’re expected to move with them. That wall eyed mare has done so well with them that Celestia and Luna both feel that the foals should live in a place called Ponyville where Miss Hooves can assist on a day to day basis.” The doctor scowled. “Doctor Eyesore is going to steal my office space!”

Rhubarb perked up. “We get to stay with the little monsters?”

The doctor nodded. Rhubarb seemed genuinely happy. Buttermilk grumbled something unintelligible.

“Is Ponyville prepared for the foals?” Buttermilk asked.

“Miss Sparkle is preparing them.” The doctor said. “I hope she takes my order for protective headgear under consideration. The Prober seeks new subjects.” He said in a wavering voice, his ears flickering. “I can still feel the moment of insertion.” He moaned, drawing a quivering breath.

“You squealed like a filly.” Buttermilk teased.

The doctor’s muzzle scrunched as he tried to swallow his own face in embarrassment.

“What rough beast approaches Ponyville.” Rhubarb said, a flair for melodrama manifesting.

“A house has been secured for us. With furniture. Rooms. Everything normally found in a house. Except this house will be filled with hideous mutant monsters. And Buttermilk.” The doctor said, changing the subject.

“Maybe I’ll teach Betelgeuse about prostates.” Buttermilk said in a low threatening tone.

“You wouldn’t dare!” The doctor protested, pondering his prostate, suddenly looking worried. “You monster!”

“So the fillies will finally be exposed to ponies, and vice versa. My little girls are growing up.” Rhubarb sniffled a bit.

Buttermilk glared at the fuchsia coloured mare beside her. “Get ahold of yourself.”

“Just wait until they discover colts.” Rhubarb said.

“And colts discover Betelgeuse’s need to penetrate.” The doctor said, cringing. “I predict many probings once she enters adolescence and becomes even more curious than she is now.”

“Dinky did remarkably well with the foals. Perhaps the trick is to allow exposure to the fillies at a young age and then allow those foals with exposure to grow up. Perhaps adult ponies experience revulsion simply because of our ages and the fact that we are less open to new experiences.” Buttermilk said, looking thoughtful.

The doctor nodded.

“I no longer feel any revulsion at all.” Rhubarb said. “I love them as though they were my own.” She looked up at the ceiling, thoughtful. “I want them to run free in the grass and terrorise other ponies. They deserve better than concrete and plastic.”

“You want other ponies terrorised?” Buttermilk asked.

“For science.” Rhubarb said, as though that explained everything.

“I’ll be able to take a lot of notes with the much larger sample size.” The doctor said hopefully. “And there will probably be many contributions to my vomit research.”

“Good to have a hobby.” Buttermilk said.

“Like churning butter.” Rhubarb said, looking innocent.

“Hey!” Buttermilk protested. “Spunk Specialist Buttermilk is only one of my many titles.”

Author's Note:

Next time... "What rough beast approaches Ponyville."

Stay tuned. And make sure to drink your Ovaltine.

Comments

[Shock Jock]

I just read all of the chapters written as of this point. I found this story to be very humorous. I can't wait to see more. Also, yeah Derpy!

[xaldinlance]

For some reason I imagine him sounding like Prof. Farnsworth from futurama

[Clay Pigeon]

5336782 Really? Interesting... I always read his voice as a horrible impression of Doctor Whooves.

Eh. To each his own, I guess.