Extra Equestrial Mayhem

by kudzuhaiku

Chapter 1

“I don’t know what I am looking at.” Rhubarb said, looking down into the crib. She threw her head back in disgust, failing to be objective about the horror that she saw. What she saw was unthinkable. And having to play nursemaid… Ugh!

“Be reasonable Rhubarb.” Doctor Broadneck begged. “They’re a little odd, but these foals are sweet enough. And they grow on you.”

Rhubarb recoiled in horror. “I don’t know if I want them touching me.”

“They need care. They cannot stand up or walk like normal foals. Not yet. We don’t know why.” The doctor said, shaking his head.

“But what are they?” Rhubarb said, cringing.

“Remember those human women from beyond the mirror that those extra equestrial lifeforms abducted and then dumped off here, in Equestria? They also abducted many ponies, probing their plots and dropping them off after a night of reckless rectal spelunking.” The doctor said, terror spreading over his features.

“Yeah…” Rhubarb nodded.

“Well, all of them were pregnant as you recall. These are the human-pony hybrids.” Doctor Broadneck shuddered violently.

Rhubarb looked down into the crib, one of three. She didn’t know what it was that she saw. It had a head, like the humans did. A torso. Arms. Hands. Fingers. All human. Until you reached the waist. From the waist down, it was a pony. Right where a pony’s neck and head should be, a human torso sprouted. It was an odd horrifying creature.

“Celestia calls them centaurs.” The doctor said helpfully.

The tiny centaur foal began to cry as Rhubarb looked down upon it. Something in Rhubarb broke. She felt awful. She felt a strange feeling creep through body and she felt horrified at what she was about to do.

She lifted the tiny odd foal out of the crib with her magic, carefully holding the fragile body that seemed awkward and limp, cradling the overly long spine and the delicate place where it hinged. She eased herself down on a large cushion, laying on her side, making herself comfortable. She positioned the foal against her belly, her skin suddenly crawling, and gently spread her hind legs, kicking one out and away from the other, giving the gross creature a place to rest its head. She felt the tiny weird head resting on the inside of her hind leg, and the strange face pressing up against her most delicate of places.

She fought back a wave of nausea as the odd creature began to suckle, the sound echoing oddly in the large room.

Her motherly instincts battled with her sudden need to vomit.

She closed her eyes and allowed the odd creature to feed as the doctor watched and took notes. This is what she had been hired to do after all. She was in an odd position as a scientist, studying extra equestrial life forms.

“A centaur you say?” Rhubarb asked as the tiny hideous creature suckled at her teats. “What an odd name for an odd creature.”

“What is it like?” The doctor asked, clutching his clipboard.

“It has no teeth. A funny nose that pokes into the soft skin. A flat weird face. How do you think it feels having an extra equestrial life form sucking on your flesh?!” Rhubarb asked.

“I don’t know, which is why I was asking.” The doctor replied. “The humans are especially helpless after birth. They take a long time to learn how to walk and talk. We don’t know what will happen with these three.” The doctor announced helpfully.

“Oh, this is, eww, oh, so gross.” Rhubarb said.

“Is that your scientific opinion?” The doctor asked.

“What happened to the mothers exactly?” Rhubarb asked.

The doctor said nothing, offering no reply whatsoever.

“I am feeling somewhat motherly.” Rhubarb announced, causing the doctor to begin scribbling notes furiously. “But also repulsed and disgusted.” The doctor’s pen scratched furiously on the paper covered clipboard.

“Do they have names?” Rhubarb asked.

“Yes.” Said the doctor. “Subject One, Subject Two, and Subject Three.”

“Those aren’t names!” Rhubarb snapped.

The doctor shrugged. He stared at the other two cribs.

“This one does not have human ears.” Rhubarb announced. “It has pony ears where human ears should be. How strange.” She lifted the foal’s tiny hind leg and looked under the tail. “Female. Dark blue. Two tone hair, pink and light blue. She’s cute. In a hideous brain numbing way.”

The doctor scribbled more notes.

“All of them are female.” The doctor said. “The one in the incubator crib on life support has wings. Pegasus. On the equine portion, where wings would normally be. Subject Three.”

Rhubarb shivered violently as little fingers clutched her pelt.

“I don’t know if I can do this, but I really need the bits.” Rhubarb said. “Plus, I feel bad for them.”

The doctor nodded, but didn’t take any notes. “All you have to do is feed them. Both teat milk and formula bottles. Bond with them. See what emotions they might develop. How they behave. Document their growth and progression. Determine if they pose a threat to ponies.”

“And I am to do this by myself?” Rhubarb asked.

“No, one more mare is coming. Buttermilk. Student of foal development and growth. Clever. Bright. Also deeply in debt.” The doctor nodded.

“Think she’ll stay?” Rhubarb asked, hearing slurping sounds and cringing.

“No idea. Quite a few have ran away screaming. None have made it as far as you have.” The doctor replied. “Also, Buttermilk is a pegasus. She doesn’t have magic, she may need your help from time to time. Brilliant mind though. By any standard.”

Rhubarb nodded.

“You are very brave to allow extra equestrial life forms to suckle upon your teats. I predict a lot of big time science grants in your future.” Doctor Broadneck smiled.

“I want to work at the Royal Academy of Science someday.” Rhubarb said.

Doctor Broadneck cleared his throat. “You are ma’am.” He said in a low voice. “This is the top secret skunkworks division.”

Rhubarb perked. “Really?”

The doctor nodded.

Rhubarb beamed. Suddenly the odd foal was very tolerable. Almost. Once you got past the gut churning nausea.

“Eventually, Celestia wants to release them into society.” The doctor said. “If such a thing is possible and safe.”

Comments

[kudzuhaiku]

Hangs head in shame.

[Xhoral1865]

Read your blog post, then read this. It's not as bad as you think it is. I think it's an interesting concept and could be built on some more. Just have some fun with it if you don't really want to take it seriously, or use it as a writers block breaker kinda thingy.

[PinkDragonJr]

an intersting concept.