- Member Since 9th Sep, 2012
- offline last seen 3 hours ago
little big pony
Remember kids, eat your veggies, go to school, and murder all your enemies.... I murder all my enemies....
little big pony
Joined 9th Sep, 2012 ·
Offline
Sequels1
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little big pony · 9.2k words · 1,018 37 · 30k views
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I do believe this is up my alley, I gots me some clop to read this evening.
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My nigga, fem Blueblood should be next.
Yesss, Cryssstalssss...
Femdom is muh fetish.
OK, someone go get Zamairiac!
Curses, I knew I should have finished my story when I had the chance. Oh well, I guess I'll have to make the second umbra x human clopfic
Great story by the way, everything I could've hoped for
4128998
Please, no. The last thing I want is to turn this into NTR or something along the like.
4128998
You called?
Crap, now I want more...
Why do we need zamairiac again?
4129457
Ouch
Is this... Is this... the first/only R63 Sombra fic in the archive?
Wow, just when I think that every story angle's been done to pieces before, something new pops up and proves me wrong.
4129474 not in a bad way just curious lol
i like the story and clop but dont like the questions left unanswered it makes me really want to know what their reactions would be if they tried to save him but were too late
Sorry, but the Human thing kind of drove me away from this...
I don't come here to read about Humans, if I was going to do that i'd read Human books.
A great idea but I don't like the "John the Human" thing.
I really enjoyed this. Simple, but fun. Kinda wish there was more, and I don't just mean as in a sequel. You could have stretched out the sex a bit more, added some more details.
Still, I like it.
crazy powerful saver-queen lady
*slaver
Get proof readers.
24.media.tumblr.com/c12f37bea822e2323e512b62b4a9ec07/tumblr_mqm36uMbNy1qkrri5o1_1280.png
havent even gotten to the sex but u get thumbs up
4130023
I have the most appropriate boner right now.
I usually need shipping told to me before I read.
Sorry.
4129653 Then why the hell did you click a story with a human tag?
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4129653
The story is marked with the 'Human' tag.
It's not like John was a surprise addition or anything so if you don't like Humans then you shouldn't have clicked on the story in the first place, much less just to tell everyone of your dislike.
I love this. Couldn't get enough, gonna find more rule 63 ponies to see fucked senseless. Muahahahahahaha!!! I love evil btw, it turns me on. Heh heh heh
4129653 What's wrong with the name John?
4130023 Damn, I don't even like anthro, but...
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Would be interested to see if the poor guy escapes.
How the hell can she bite his cheek and at the same time she shows her flank?
I picture it like a 69 position but you can't reach a cheak that way.
Am I missing something?
4130023 Oh sweet lord, Heaven on high I think I might pass out from the pic itself.
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Unless they've suddenly become windows, the word you're looking for is shudder, as in to tremble or lightly shake.
This wasn't bad, but it could really benefit from a good editing pass. There's a lot of missing words, repetition, verb tense issues, and the like. The sex was much too quick. You took your time with the teasing and domination, but once you got to the acts themselves there was very little description or feeling in them.
Lastly ... John the Human ... seriously?
If you're going to have a character that actually has and uses a title like "the something" at least make it something interesting. You also run into some really major Lavender Unicorn Syndrome, referring to John as simply "the human" a staggering 53 times in the story.
4130967
... His butt cheek?
Amazing!!!
SEQUEL IS DEMANDED
This story is rife with grammatical errors. I say unto thee: get thee to an editor, post-haste!
There's no need for the opening "--", it's completely unnecessary.
Hid.
Missing comma here: "it, until"
Ugh, really awkward sentence structure here. Try this: "Shining looked from his sister to the group before he saw something that made him bite back a pang of fear; a giant black cloud! He quickly pushed his sister out of the way as his horn glowed with power."
What's wrong with the word "or"? Get rid of the "/", replace it with "or".
A crown usually rests on the head, not covers the body. Perhaps you mean "cloak"?
You're.
one's actions
to rule well, after all
from my perspective
It's
I've seen some run-on sentences in my time, and this is certainly one of them. I'm not even certain what you are trying to say here. Break it up, restructure it, and try again.
for fuck's sake!
Missing comma here: "fear, as"
Get rid of the first comma.
on
Should be: "access. But it's just so"
Missing comma here: "done, my"
Also, "stuttering", not "shuttering".
let's
"bound", not "bond"
"quit", not "quiet".
Be consistent with your capitalisation!
Either "a" or "one", not "in".
Missing comma here: "Beg, my pet".
Also, "shuddered", not "shuttered".
"suck", not "stuck"
"shuddered", not "shuttered"
I think you mean "snout'.
Also, I'm trying to figure this out... I'm assuming that they are in a "69" position, so unless her face is upside down, I can't see how her snout (nose) would press against his stomach?
hungry
pushed
positioning
Also, get rid of "but"
thrust
What do you mean, "Will I get better at writing these?".
This was amazing! It even go featured! 10/10 will read again!
Another chapter please? Pretty please?
SEQUEL!
Rule 63 Sombra...BRILLIANT!
Who is the definitively sexier one? 
But Umbra or Eris?
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4129474
Gonna answer the question?
And i imagine this was playing in the back of his mind when he saw her ass.
4130023
You owe me a new pair of pants, sir.
Well, I never!
I'm quite annoyed that you would do such a thing!
Calling these ponies 'horses' is quite offensive!
4131833 That could be the only posible answer, but it will be wise to clarify it as butt cheek in the story.
4132712 He forgot.
Pinch the booty
Nip the booty
Bite the booty
WoW Just wow......
just reading the description has gotten me to read it!
Just finished reading this story and I must say, this was quite the tale. Well done. Going straight to my faves
I'm serious, who're you shipping?