Konner and Mark , both AC mercs, are hired to do some work for the newly emerged continent of equestria to defend them from Venides invasions. During their time, they'll meet some of the nations heros. But will one Merc, his pilot and operator, his UNAC, and his best friend Mark 'Longshot' Deconus, really be enough to fight off an invasion.
Mark pilots a heavy reverse jointed, mid-weight sniping AC. It has a 5 round burst sniper cannon in it's left hand, a light-weight sniper in it's right, a fast firing assault rifle in his right bay, and CE AS missiles in his (right) shoulder.. He is mainly KE and CE defensive and has KE and CE attack.
AC: Death's right hand.
Konner pilots a mid-light-weight bipedal AC. It has a fast firing assault rifle in his right hand, a fast firing battle rifle in his left hand, a fast firing pulse gun in his right bay, a midway fast firing pulse machine gun in his left bay, and a fast firing KE auto attack gun in both of his shoulders. He is mainly KE defensive with about 1000 armor in CE and TE. He has all attack types.
AC: Death's left hand.
I own neither Armored Core, or MLP:FIM. Only the characters not directly related to either belong to me. The AC designs and names were also made by me.
After awhile I realized that I just can't continue this story. The writing thus far is awful, even for me, and the beginning was poorly handled at best. I may pick this back up if I have a spark of creativity, but don't count on it.
REVIEW:
okay. I'm not going in with good first impressions. with no knowledge of the source material, or even being able to identify what the source material even is(even when googleing important looking terms like UNAC or AC merc), is not a good start.
ok...
so much swearing. Tone it down if possible. its seriously jarring.
just a point, if they were actually being offered a lot of money, and 200 000AU simply is not a bad conversion rate, then why do these guys need to work? i quote:
third, there was almost no scene or character description. i know Show dont tell mostly applies, but i would at least like to know how mark if mark is a relative or a friend of the other person, who is as of yet, unnamed.
also, first contact is totally skipped over. i would have loved to see the very first contact of Equestria and this mech-wielding civ,
seriously? I think i know what you were trying to achieve, and no. Equestria is a perfectly normal spelling, with not much margin possible for error. id get this person some help if his reading skills are that poor that the simple phonetic skills did not occur to him. and you cannot really handwave this with communication mediums. either his reading skills are that bad, or he was of poor hearing when it was relayed to him verbally.
still, i'd like to belive you can make something of this, and since i am literally never going to check, ill leave an upvote for that eventuality
Take a hint... Seriously...
4122429 I actually am looking for one. Sorry about my writing, it is very bad. I'll do my best to double space it next time, thanks for the tip. I'm sorry also about the swearing, but the characters are based off of me and a friend, and we swear like sailors.
4122308 The source material for the crossover is the game armored core verdict day. The other pilot besides Mark is named Konner. It has already been stated. The description for the story also states they are best friends. And as for why they continue to do it, they like what they do.
4122308 As for the second complaint on the mispronunciation of equestria, I have no excuse. I apologize for the bad writing.
4122308 Also, for the conversion rate, it costs roughly 500,000 AU to repair an AC in critical condition. 100,000, after repairs and ammo costs, has a very likely chance of going negative.