Sombra's Revenge

by Golden Skies

Prologue

Author's Note:

For those of you that didn't read the full description, this is my attempt at writing literature in the style of the Romantic period. No, that doesn't mean this is a romance, that means the style of literature is call Romanticism. If you don't like the story because of its style, then thats probably because you don't like this style of literature (which is an attempt). Please, if you are going to dislike the story, only do so because you dislike the characters, storyline, etc. and let me know that as well. Thank you.

The shadow awoke. Everything around it was cold, and freezing, yet it felt none of this. The black cloud rose from the ground. The being slowly moved its ghostly form across the small area it was in, searching for a reason as to why it was there.

Surrounding it was pure destruction. The clearing was made up of charred earth, surrounded on all sides by an endless expanse of ice. Inside this small ring, the shadow found a red curved object. It was cold, and glowed faintly at its end like a piece of hot metal just taken from the fire of a forge. The being coiled itself around the object. Something about the curved artifact was familiar… but what?

When the shadow touched the object a memory of pain came to it. Pure, burning pain. All encompassing as though one were being torn apart from their very inner core outwards. The dark smoke removed itself from the cursed object.

What earthly object could possibly cause so much pain? It clearly held the memories of some poor creature, but certainly, no creature could have lived through such a horrible pain and survived. A thought crept up upon the dark smoke, ‘what if it was I who suffered this pain? But no, surely then I would be dead, and I am most certainly not dead… am I?’

The dark cloud turned itself around, coiling as though it were a snake to examine its figure. Was it dead? It had no body, no physical being. The cold around it did nothing to hinder its movements. But then if it was dead, then what had caused this suffering to be inflicted upon it? Dead things could not feel pain and this was pain of the highest caliber, and therefore the shadow was living. ‘But how could have it lived after such a horrible pain?’ the dark smoke thought to itself.

The shadow searched its memories for something of a clue. It saw a beautiful palace, seemingly carved out of ice and standing among a mass of crystal buildings. Inside sat a beautiful pink alicorn atop a glorious white throne. But, something was wrong. The princess didn’t belong there, no! Wasn’t that the shadow's throne? Yes, yes. That was not her throne but the shadow's!

How dare she take its throne! How dare she kill the shadow!? But no… no it wasn’t her who had done this to the shadow, it was some other creature. A figure formed in the shadow's mind. It was small and purple and had tiny green scales adorning its head. This was the cause of the shadow's pain! This… creature was the reason for the shadow's death!

The shadow lashed out angrily at the surrounding ice, sending it flying in a small white cloud. That wretched little dragon was the cause of this horrible pain! It would pay for what it had done to the King! Yes… yes the King! He was the king and he would do whatever it took to make sure that pathetic piece of garbage paid for what it had done!

The creature rose up from the crater and looked around him, but the only thing that met his shadowy gaze was the everlasting expanse of ice. However, in the distance shone a faint light. He squinted and looked closer. A beautiful blue crystal gleamed in the expanse of white. His palace!

The shadow felt itself tremble with rage. That would be where it started its journey for the vile dragon.

Comments

[Truly Luminous]

Oh shit, we're going to get heretice Spike.
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[OmniFox]

Let's not forget that Sombra got beaten by a baby dragon.
Let's all point and laugh at his embarrassment.

[Nekonyancer]

The black cloud rose itself

raised itself is okay, rose is okay. Not rose itself. It's like saying it jumped itself, or swam itself, which admittedly is acceptable in some situations, but not here.

Surrounding it was pure destruction.

Okay, We know that it's cold, and that there's destruction... so is he in a cold, ruined city? The aftermath of a battlefield? On a mountain? If this line were later, it would be okay, but not here. We don't have enough information to visualize this scene, so telling us there's destruction here tells us almost nothing.

The clearing was made up of charred earth, surrounded on all sides by an endless expanse of ice.

Ahhhh okay. Now the destruction makes sense. I think it would work better if the destruction line were put in immediately before this, as the first line of the paragraph.

What earthly object could possibly cause so much pain? The object

Replace the second object with it to avoid word repetition.

‘what if it was I who beared witness to this pain?

1. bore witness
2. Bear witness means you're just

seeing

something, so this means that he saw someone else enduring this pain. Doesn't seem to be your intent. Change this is just "bore this pain" or "endured this pain" or "suffered this pain."

But then if it was dead, then what had caused this suffering to be inflicted upon it? Dead things could not feel pain and this was pain of the highest caliber, and therefore the shadow was living. ‘But how could it of lived after such a horrible pain?’ the dark smoke thought to itself.

could have, not could of.

Inside, sat a beautiful pink alicorn atop a glorious white throne.

no comma after inside

Wasn’t that the shadows throne? Yes, yes. That was not her throne but the shadows!

shadow's. shadow's!

A figure formed in the shadows mind.

shadow's

This was the cause of the shadows pain! This… creature was the reason for the shadows death!

shadow's. shadow's.

but the only thing that met his shadowy gaze was that of the everlasting expanse of ice.

That? That of the everlasting expanse of ice? The ice doesn't have a gaze. It doesn't have a "that." Remove "that of."

However in the distance shown a faint light.

1. comma after however.
2. shone, not shown.

A beautiful blue crystal shone in the expanse of white.

used shone in the previous sentence. I suggest "gleamed" instead to avoid word repetition.